Nobody liked Kevin.
It wasn't that people hated him exactly—hate required passion, and Kevin inspired about as much emotion as plain oatmeal. People simply… forgot he existed.
At school, teachers marked him absent while he was sitting right in front of them.
At restaurants, waiters handed menus to everyone except him.
One time, his own grandmother waved at him and asked, "And whose child are you?"
It was a hard life.
Kevin had tried everything to be likable.
He tried being funny.
Nobody laughed.
He tried being mysterious.
People assumed he was just lost.
He tried being helpful.
A woman once thanked him for holding the door by letting it slam directly into his face.
It was on a rainy Tuesday, while sitting alone at a sad little café eating fries nobody had asked if he wanted, that Kevin saw him.
Across the street.
A clown.
Bright red wig. Giant shoes. Balloon animals. Absolute chaos.
Children screamed with joy.
Adults stopped to watch.
Even a dog seemed emotionally invested.
Kevin stared.
The clown tripped over absolutely nothing, fell into a fountain, stood up soaking wet, and somehow received applause.
Kevin whispered to himself:
"…That guy has figured life out."
And like all terrible life decisions, it felt brilliant immediately.
The next morning, Kevin marched into "Bobo's Discount Party Supplies & Mild Regrets."
Behind the counter stood a woman chewing gum like it had personally offended her.
Her nametag read: Tina
"What do you want?" she asked.
Kevin stood tall.
"I want to become a clown."
Tina blinked.
"Court ordered?"
"No."
"Recent breakup?"
"No."
"Midlife crisis?"
"I'm twenty-two."
Tina nodded.
"Quarter-life crisis. Worse."
She disappeared into the back and returned with a box labeled:
BEGINNER CLOWN STARTER PACK
Inside:
One red nose
One rainbow wig
One pair of shoes that looked like they committed tax fraud
Three juggling balls
A bike horn
Emotional damage (free)
Kevin stared at it.
"This… this will make people like me?"
Tina leaned forward.
"No. But it'll make them remember you."
Kevin considered that.
Honestly?
That sounded amazing.
"I'll take it."
As Tina rang him up, the shop door burst open.
A man in full pirate costume stormed in.
"I need twelve smoke bombs and something to make my ex-wife regret everything."
Tina sighed.
"Gary, aisle three."
Kevin blinked.
"…Do things like that happen here often?"
Tina handed him the receipt.
"Sweetheart, this is Tuesday."
Kevin stepped outside holding the box like it contained destiny.
Or rabies.
Either way, his life was about to change.
He put on the red nose.
A child passing by pointed at him and shouted:
"Mom! That man looks unemployed!"
Kevin smiled.
Finally.
Recognition.
And thus…
Kevin the Clown was born.