He opened his eyes and suddenly found himself deep within his own memories. There, the voices of millions of souls spoke to him in unintelligible words, voices that were deafening and painful. Many of those voices were suffering, others sounded angry, and many others were just sad.
Toru sighed, tired but understanding the reason for the souls' emotions. He sat down on the blood on the floor and looked at the bloody landscape.
"You are all here. You are real. You are not part of my imagination."
The representation of his own being was displayed before him. Everything was confusing, chaotic, and depressing. Toru knew this was not an illusion. Each soul is visible and tangible. All these years, these souls have been watching him, so everyone here knows the demon beneath Asahi Toru's skin.
But the one who knows Toru best is a soul that stands out among all the others.
That woman's soul sat in front of him. She looked at Toru with a calm expression on her bloody face.
[Everything is real, my child. All that pain you caused is more than real.]
As always, this woman, Alek Gusev's mother, was trying to make Toru lose his temper, but as always, it wasn't going to work.
"No matter how much you whisper in my ear. No matter how hard you try to make me lose my patience, I will never become the monster you say I am."
[Don't lie to yourself, Alek. You should be tired of doing the same thing.]
Toru closed his eyes. He allowed himself to remain calm and then opened his eyes once more.
"I'm no saint, I know that. I'm like a demon who doesn't know his place in hell, but even so, I..." Blood rose around him like hands embracing him affectionately—an unknown presence. The souls spoke louder in the strange presence of something watching them.
Even Biserka felt chills, but she smiled calmly and continued the conversation.
[Despite everything you've been through, you still have the same depressing desire...]
"Huh..." Toru smiled wistfully. "I wish I could remember that desire... I'm supposed to have a good memory, but I don't remember it."
Biserka laughed. [There's something you want, but you don't know what it is. It's hilarious, too much for my taste. Just remember how pathetic and evil you are. Remember that everything you're doing will lead you straight to an abyss of death and suffering. But you won't be the one who dies. We both know that even if you "die," you'll continue to "live" to suffer. That's how monstrous you are...]
Discouraged, Toru got up from the ground and looked at Biserka. Then the entire ocean of blood was disturbed by a mysterious force, and all the souls fell to their knees.
"What if you're wrong?"
This woman was wrong, at least Toru convinced himself that she was. There was no way things could be worse than they were now. Lately, everything has been going very well. Despite the depression that plagues his heart, Toru feels that he can move forward. In war, in life itself. If everything goes well, Toru's life will somehow improve greatly. That was a good thing.
Toru doesn't expect much, as he is used to living in misery. His will is shattered, just like his heart, but there are things in the world that can repair that damage.
Although lost, Toru is searching for his own path, a path different from the one he has already traveled. Perhaps that way he can understand himself and finally escape the dark abyss in which he is trapped.
For her part, Biserka seemed to hesitate. She is only here to continue mistreating her son, but the cheap tricks she uses no longer work. Toru is finally growing up, as he is ceasing to be that depressing child. Toru is becoming the man he could not be in the past.
[I am not mistaken, Alek. I know what I am saying and why I am saying it. Be patient. Soon you will understand what I mean. For now, keep pretending you have friends, keep pretending you have a girlfriend who will heal your wounds, and keep pretending to be someone you are not. Only then will you understand.]
This woman's life is depressing. She only exists to hurt others; it's the only thing that makes her happy. That's why she continues to be so damn annoying to Toru.
"I really don't care about anything you say," he turned him back on the souls and began to walk away. "You're wrong. I'm the only one who's right. That's how it was in the past, and that's how it will continue to be."
Suddenly, all the souls fell into the blood. They desperately tried to get out. The same thing happened to Biserka, who sank into the blood. As she lifted her head, she saw the reason why she constantly said that her son was a monster.
Although she didn't really "see" anything, she did "see" something. It was something that was simply there, but at the same time not there. Something that can be seen and at the same time not seen. Existence and non-existence itself...
It was the presence of a loving mother watching all her chaotic children in silence with an incorporeal smile that dominates nothingness itself.
-Later, in the afternoon-
Gray and Flat watched Svin's training. Now that Sakura is in bed, he took advantage of the presence of a heroic spirit of great power to train.
"You can do it, Le Chien! Don't let them kick your butt!" Flat shouted, encouraging Svin.
Being in the usual forest, they didn't have to worry too much about collateral damage. So it was time to enjoy an epic battle.
Svin was using his Bestial Magecraft, which gave him the characteristics of a primitive werewolf painted in the characteristic blue color of mana. Like a beast itself, Svin repeatedly attacked Toru with his sharp claws, giving the impression that at any moment he would slash his face.
Right now, all of Svin's senses are sharpened to the maximum. His ears hear Toru's muscles tensing like the cables of a huge bridge, which explains Assassin's monstrous strength. However, what puzzled Svin the most during the confrontation was that Toru's footsteps made no sound at all. It was as if Assassin was floating, for the only noise he made was his clothes and his soft breathing.
"While attack speed is important," Toru said, dodging Svin very smoothly, "the technique with which you attack is also important. If you have speed but no technique, then you're just throwing random punches hoping to hit something at any given moment."
"That's what I'm trying to do, but you're too fast!" Svin muttered, continuing to strike without stopping.
Toru sighed and slowed down. Taking advantage of Svin's strike near his face, he grabbed his arm and, in one smooth motion, threw Svin to the ground. Now Svin had his arm pinned behind his back, which hurt a lot.
"How? When?"
Svin had no idea. Toru let go of him and crouched down to talk to him.
"You get desperate too quickly. You're letting that wild part of you take control. If you allow that to happen, then you're just fighting like a mindless animal."
Svin lay down on the ground. "I know. Sometimes it's hard for me to concentrate..."
This boy looked frustrated. This was due to the constant internal conflict that Svin has. It's as if his beastly side and his humanity are fighting to see who takes control. As a result of this conflict, Svin sometimes feels that he has lost his identity. He stops recognizing himself as a human when he lets himself be carried away by his inner self. Gray is someone who usually calms that side of Svin, because just thinking about her made Svin feel calmer. Although now things are different. Besides, Svin has never told anyone this.
Toru reached out his hand to Svin to help him stand up. He accepted it and stood up.
"Then let's continue. If you are disciplined, you will learn in time. Things don't happen overnight."
But Toru knew that when it came to Svin or Flat, learning would be extremely fast. After all, these two boys were geniuses of magecraft in their respective fields. That was the reality of the world of magus. If you were talented, you would succeed in most situations, but if you were incompetent, you would find it very difficult to advance.
A clear example of this fact is Waver. He did not rise to his position as Lord because of his talent with magecraft. Part of it was his luck, and part of it was his ability to bring out the talent of others.
Returning to training, this time Svin was more focused. He used a more human fighting style that combined different martial arts techniques. The first thing was to raise his guard with both fists in front of his face. He stared at Toru with narrowed eyes and launched into the attack.
Svin threw two quick boxing punches with his sharp claws. Toru easily dodged them by moving his upper body in response to Svin's hand movements. Then, to increase the difficulty and before receiving a blow to the face, Toru crouched down and kicked Svin's feet, forcing him to fall. Svin, however, like a cat, straightened his body before falling and landed on all fours.
In a span of two seconds, the two executed the same movements in succession.
Noticing that his punches were not working, Svin decided to change his approach. He jumped to kick Toru in the face, but the servant was already expecting this. Toru was going to use the same move of grabbing his opponent's limb and throwing him to the ground to immobilize him. However, Svin had fallen for the same trick many times before, so the moment Toru reached out his hands, Svin pulled his leg back and spun 360 degrees to use his other leg.
As expected of someone like Toru, he had obviously anticipated this. Having used the same move many times, Toru expected Svin to opt for a move that would conceal the flying kick. Toru was right every time, so Svin didn't stand a chance.
Toru grabbed Svin by the leg and prepared to throw him to the ground, but Svin wasn't going to let that happen. Regardless of whether Toru's grip had the strength of a mythical beast, Svin held Toru's neck with his other leg. It was a fairly quick move that made Flat jump in slow motion, celebrating Svin's first victory.
On the other hand, Gray knew that none of this was going to end well. Seeing Svin throw a sneak punch at Toru's face, it seemed that Assassin had no escape. Svin's lock was perfect, so the punch connected.
Svin hit Toru in the face and then raised his other fist to continue. In desperation, Svin didn't stop the punches. It felt like he wanted to prove something, but that desperation wouldn't let him.
After about fifty punches, Toru stopped Svin with his bloody hands that came out of the ground. The hands grabbed his arms and legs and pinned him to the ground.
"That was great progress," said Toru, with a small drop of blood falling from his nose. His face didn't have a single scratch, but it seemed that the blows had affected him a little.
"Amazing... finally."
He breathed heavily as his body returned to normal. For the first time in a long time, Svin managed to make Toru bleed.
"That was great, Svin! This time you beat him in twenty seconds! It's a new record!" shouted Flat, grabbing Svin by the arms as he dragged him close to the tree.
"You should call it a day, Toru." Approaching him, Gray took out a gray handkerchief and wiped the blood from Toru's nose.
While Flat celebrated Svin's defeat, Toru nodded. "I should, yes, but I don't think Svin wants to stop now. He managed to hit me, that must have lifted his spirits. He seemed down before, for some reason."
"Hm... sometimes it's good to clear your mind by doing all kinds of activities. Surely for Svin, training has become a way to free himself."
Looking at Svin, who was being teased by Flat, Toru nodded. "It's a good thing, in its own way. For now, Gray, wait in the shade of the tree. I'll be done with Svin in an hour."
"That's a long time... I want to talk to you more."
Toru, with his stone face, nodded. "Then join the training. Svin will like having someone on his side."
"That sounds good," Gray replied to the proposal, with a slight smile under her hood.
The next hour was devoted to a tough training session. At one point, Flat also wanted to join in, but he was sent flying by a kick from Toru.
***
When the training was over and they got off the train to go home, Gray hugged Toru's arm as they walked. Svin walked beside Gray, and Flat walked in front of everyone with his hands behind his head.
"And by the time the teacher realized it, his hair was already burning. That was my fault, really, but no one noticed."
"We all noticed it was you, Flat. I don't understand how you can continue to disrespect the professor like that. Karma will come back to haunt you someday."
"Don't say that, Le Chien. I didn't mean to do that. Although it was super funny to see theprofessor rolling on the floor."
Remembering the incident, Svin covered his mouth to stifle his laughter. He hated to admit it because he respected Waver, but that moment was undoubtedly very funny.
"See? You find it funny too," said Flat, pointing at Svin.
"Blasphemy. I would never laugh at the professor."
"But you're holding back your laughter."
"Lies and more lies. Shut up, Flat!"
The evening light illuminated the moment. Toru felt the warmth of Gray's embrace and the strange calm of this conversation between friends. It was as if the moment were in slow motion, where only he could appreciate the beauty of the moment.
"You two are a bit like Naruto and Sasuke. At least in the way you act."
Svin and Flat looked at Toru. It was very sudden for Toru, who usually remains very quiet during trips, to suddenly speak up.
"Naruto? Like that white thing with a pink spiral that you put on ramen?"
Toru shook his head at Flat's question. "Naruto and Sasuke were friends I had when I was a kid. The way they acted is similar to your attitude. Although sometimes it seemed like Naruto and Sasuke hated each other. I just hope you don't end up like them. That would be a shame."
Gray tightened his grip a little. "What happened to your friends?"
Svin looked at Gray and then at Toru, waiting for an answer.
"Due to circumstances in life, the two ended up fighting to the death, breaking the bonds of friendship and brotherhood that united them. I really don't know what happened to them after my death."
For a few seconds, everyone remained silent until Svin spoke.
"I'm sure I'll end up trying to kill Flat too. With how annoying he is, my patience is already a virtue."
"Hey... I'm listening," Flat replied, his voice cynical and depressed.
"If you want, I'll say it louder so you can hear it clearly."
At that, Flat and Svin began to argue as usual. Toru smiled slightly when he saw them, as he remembered those two friends he had in his childhood. However, he also remembered that in those memories, he was always distant from everyone.
But this time...
"I'm here... with them..."
Toru was more than a spectator.
"This is what I wanted..." Gray whispered so that only Toru could hear her. "To be here, like this," she looked up to meet Toru's eyes. "What about you?"
Before answering, Toru looked at this moment again. He saw his friends walking beside him and the bright sunlight shining on them. It all seemed like a dream or a sad nightmare. However, for Toru, it was more than that.
"I like this..." he replied to Gray in another whisper.
She hugged him gently and kissed him on the cheek. "Then let's live like this forever."
"... Nothing is eternal, Gray. Everything has an end. We couldn't live like this forever."
"Maybe not, but we could enjoy the moment."
That answer touched Toru's heart, and he remained silent, staring at the ground. It was about enjoying the moment, not getting stuck in the moment. Things and situations are fleeting, so the most logical thing was to enjoy those fleeting moments. Not to dwell on the past, much less try to relive it.
Without realizing it, Gray had given Toru an answer, one more step forward on this thorny path. It wasn't much, but it was enough for Toru to reflect on it.
"I see..." he whispered, watching Svin and Flat argue animatedly. "Maybe that's something I can do."
Gray let go of Toru's arm, but she took his hand. "Then let's not wait any longer. Come on," and she pulled him to walk faster. "Should we go buy something for dinner?" she asked Svin and Flat.
That stopped the previous discussion.
"I like pizza!" Flat suggested, smiling happily.
Svin nodded, but suggested something else. "Chinese food is good too. A good choice for dinner."
"We should choose something that's not too heavy," after all, Gray doesn't usually eat much.
"Let's buy pizza and have Svin order Chinese food."
Toru came up with an immediate solution and everyone agreed.
To everyone's eyes, this was a group of very good friends sharing moments with all the energy of their youth. No one would ever think that they all belong to the dark side of this world. Even so, it doesn't matter. Children have fun, play, and grow up.
Don't waste your youth. Enjoy it with your friends!
To be continued...