"Over time I started falling behind in terms of physical development. The initial growth was probably beginners' luck. Ekalabya was building muscles like crazy. A few times I even thought I would get kicked out of the group but Ek encouraged me to try different methods of exercise. Every time I failed he made sure I didn't start spiralling. It was also his idea to push me towards basketball. And I cannot be grateful enough for that. It was like a new road was paved for me. I am where I am because of him." He let out a heavy breath.
"Watching you today kinda motivated me to start working out in the gym after almost a year. But the very first setback plunged me back into those painful memories. Still there I was getting ahead of myself trying to show off."
"The fact that you tried to overcome your past is the proof of your actions. Some people can't even get there. It's unreasonable to expect to get over things with a snap of your finger." Olivia said.
Koushik could feel the confidence in her words like they were not a consolation but a belief that stem from experience.
"Still..." He lowered his eyes feeling conflicted.
Everything she said was true, he knew it too but he could not bring himself to believe in it no matter how hard he tried. He did not trust that he would get past his trauma and every little failure reinforced that idea. He wished he could handle his fears as calmly as Bikram or deal with them head on like Rishi but all he could manage was envy their qualities standing on the side.
"You look like a sad Bolognese right now." Olivia rested her chin on her hand.
"A what?" Koushik asked in confusion.
Olivia showed him a picture on her watch. A little white cute fluffy furry dog.
"You're calling me a dog?" Koushik sprang up.
Olivia nodded with utmost seriousness.
"How can you call me a dog?" Koushik gasped.
"Why can't I?" Olivia raised an eyebrow.
"Dogs are cute."
He wanted to ask if she was trying to insult him but he became speechless after hearing the next part of her answer.
'She compared me to a dog... But said dogs are cute... Does that mean...' his eyes widened and he blushed.
"Sick?" Olivia asked.
Koushik gave her a confused look.
"You're red." Olivia pointed at his face.
Koushik glared at her, "That's because of you."
"What did I do?" Olivia asked flatly.
"You... you called me a dog. I mean you called me... cute." Koushik felt exasperated.
'Is this really Olivia? Or an imposter! It must be the latter! She can't be calling me cute.'
"Did I?" Olivia asked.
Koushik felt like punching her but he recalled how strong she was and resisted the urge. He nodded.
Olivia thought for a while and said "I didn't call you cute. I said you look like a dog which is cute."
Olivia said it in such a serious manner that anyone would think they were talking about an important matter. Koushik could not decide between laughing and crying. Did her words not mean what he said? She called him a dog and she said a was dog cute so didn't that stand for he was cute?
He was wrong. In her eyes he indeed resembled a Bolognese because of his thick messy hair hanging over his upturned face. She also meant it when she said dogs were cute but that was to the response of him feeling insulted by her comment. According to Olivia, calling someone a dog should be anything but an insult.
Koushik felt like a series of equations passed through his head when he came to that conclusion.
"You must really love dogs to relate them to humans as usually people would use dogs as a form of insult rather than a form of compliment." He said.
"I do." Olivia looked straight into his eyes and nodded with such conviction.
Koushik was stunned for a moment. It was the first time Olivia said something about herself that did not require by her duty. It felt really private like he learnt something about her, not as the School Captain but just Olivia, his deskmate. He hoped it was the first step to getting to know her for real. At first he only wanted to get along with her but now he felt like she understood him in a way that even his bandmates did not.
"Do you always become serious when dogs are mentioned?" He smiled.
Olivia shrugged. She looked at Koushik's face out of the corner of her eyes. It was still a little red but he had stopped sniffling and the hoarseness was much better.
'He has finally calmed down.'
"I also came to tell you about something else," Olivia said.
Koushik straightened up and listened attentively.
"Someone took a video of you making a mess out of yourself at the gym and it should have already been published in the school forum by now."
"What?" Koushik jumped to his feet in panic.
Olivia showed him the unofficial school forum on her watch. It contained a video at the top with several hundred comments under it. Most of them were malicious comments directed not only towards Koushik but also Antariksha.
"So I really sullied our group's name? I should have known that I'd create trouble whenever I'm alone." He slumped on the ground dejected.
Olivia saw his eyes tearing up again.
"I'm sorry." She said softly.
Koushik looked at her in confusion.
"I kinda told off those guys at the gym for mocking you and they might cause trouble for you using this incident. I'm sorry for the unnecessary trouble."
Koushik sighed. He could feel her sincerity even though her expression remained the same throughout their conversation.
"It's not your fault. Rather I should thank you for standing up for me when you had no reason to do it. It's my fault for being so worthless. If only I could do things a little more efficiently I wouldn't have constantly caused trouble for us. Bikram and Rishi work so hard to maintain our group's image but I just ruin their efforts with my clumsiness." Koushik turned his head away and muttered softly.
"Ah, sorry. I'm dumping my emotions on you again. You should go away. You don't need to listen to my ramblings. I just feel a little down, that's why I'm babbling. I'll be fine after some alone time. I'm an idol after all I can't indulge in sadness for so long. I should spread happiness among people." He fidgeted with his fingers.
Olivia stood up. Koushik stared at her for some time and sighed.
"Right. You should go now... Bye." He squeezed out a small smile and said reluctantly before looking away.
"Do you want to restore your group's reputation?" Olivia enquired.
Koushik who had thought that Olivia left when there was no sound from her for some time spun his head around hearing her voice. Maybe it was more for she was still there rather than what she said. After he got over his initial surprise he recalled what she said and nodded his head vigorously.
"Then get up and get ready to fight."
Koushik asked dumbfounded "How?"
"I'll help you," Olivia promised.
Koushik was about to refuse when Olivia spoke.
"I played a part in this so I'm also responsible,"
Koushik wanted to tell her that she did not need to do that and she was not at fault but seeing her serious and determined gaze he could not say that. Something inside him told him to believe her. He did not know why but he wanted to follow her. He felt that with her help he could restore his and the group's reputation. Maybe it was just the aura of the school captain, a leader. She had a presence which could make people unknowingly depend on her and follow her guidance.