Although she never called, it wasn't long until they stumbled into each other again. They did work together after all. It was a late shift, Friday night, and Alice realized she wasn't the only one at the restaurant who had developed a soft spot for Arvid. In fact, Therese, or Tessie, had stood hanging by the bar for what felt like the majority of the night. Tessie was in her mid-twenties, Alice guessed, like Arvid, with a winning smile and blonde hair in an effortless claw-clip up-do. It wasn't as if Arvid was glued to the spot behind the bar either, but somehow, she noticed, every time he was behind there Tessie seemed to be too. Why was she even noticing this?, she wondered, annoyed. Besides, maybe they were just work besties or whatever.
"Excuse me?", a voice called and drew her out from her pondering.
"Yes, how can I help you?", she said in her somewhat obnoxiously positive work voice, approaching the table in the corner.
The man who had called her over was probably in his thirties, and sat with a group of friends who had been over-served beer since after about 10pm.
"We're having a bet going over here, how old are you, darling?"
Alice felt her eyebrows draw together before she remembered to ease up, not drop her smile.
"Eighteen", she answered swiftly, "Can I get you anything else?"
Two of the guys high-fived and laughter rose up from the table.
"Your number then, my limit is eighteen", the man smiled and she had to hold back an eye roll while she thought of how to shut him down.
"She's working and can't help you with that", a steely, clear voice said from beside her and she turned, surprised, to see Arvid glaring unimpressed at the group of guys, "Now if there's nothing more you want I think it's time to call it a night."
"Oh the bartender is kicking us out, boys", another one said, "Guess that means no more beer either."
"You guessed correctly", Arvid responded flatly.
The men slowly got up and started to put on their jackets. Alice had anticipated more of a dispute.
"Hey!", the same first man said in her direction and took a step closer as Arvid started to stack up the beer glasses, "I'll probably be nearby if you change your mind. The place next door."
When Alice went to assist Arvid with the rest of the glasses he gave her a searching look.
"What'd he say to you?"
"Um... Just that he might be around if I change my mind."
Arvid sucked in one of his cheeks and bit into it.
"When do you get off today?"
"One, why?"
"It's crazy how they let eighteen year old students work that late", he muttered.
"Well, it's a Friday", Alice shrugged, a little offended at the age remark.
"I'd like to make sure you get home safe, is that alright?"
"... Sure. It's just... you really don't have to."
"You heard him, Alice. There's the off chance he's waiting for you outside."
Alice hadn't even considered the possibility but nodded ascent, a little distracted by that same way he had said her name again, the semi-exasperated yet familiar drawl in his tone.
When it was nearing one however, she regretted having agreed. Arvid was cleaning up behind the bar and Tessie had gone from flirty touches on his arms to full on hand contact with his chest, pinning him against the bar surface.
There didn't seem to be a thought of Alice, or of following her home, in his mind as Tessie tilted her head back and laughed at something he said, so she grabbed her stuff, signed out from the shift and left. A little childish, perhaps, but wouldn't it have been worse to walk up to him and tell him she was leaving only for him to shrug and say whatever? Plus, a lot of people were still in the street, and she didn't feel particularly unsafe.
To her surprise, Arvid caught her before the next tram was due, his scarf tossed untidily around his neck and with a rather pissed off expression on his face.
"I thought you agreed you wouldn't walk out alone", he said, a little out of breath and she realized he must have really hastened to catch up with her.
"Sorry, it was nice of you to offer, I just... you seemed caught up."
"Caught up?"
"With Therese."
"What?"
"Oh come on, Svartling. I didn't want to keep you from scoring pussy."
"Jesus, Alice, language", Arvid snapped, taken aback from the sound of the word coming off Alice's lips.
"Please, don't admonish me like some kid. You heard me tell them I'm eighteen, right?", she snapped back.
"Yeah I heard you, and I'm sorry I had to. Scum, all of them, harassing a barely legal waitress."
"It was nice of you to help me out, although I would have been fine, just like how I made it fine to the tram on my own."
As she said that the tram rolled in and they got on it together, still both with an air of annoyance.
"You shouldn't take risks with these kinds of things. And I wasn't planning to score anything tonight, so don't feel bad."
Alice huffed slightly, shrugged.
"Cool. Well, what if I was? He wasn't too bad, the beer dude, I'll never know what I missed with him."
Why had she said that? She hadn't sounded much like she was kidding either. Was it that she suddenly felt the need to prove to him she wasn't a kid anymore? That she wasn't estranged to sex? That's when she noticed he was doing it again, biting down on his cheek, and his gaze had turned a little glassy.
"What is that?"
After another couple of seconds he snapped back out of it.
"What's what?"
"It's like you go somewhere, you tune out."
"I don't know what you mean. You do as you like, Alice, you see who you like, you go home with who you like, you deal with things however you like, that's none of my concern. I just want you to know you can always tell me, ask me, if something happens at work. Don't be proud, and know there's no ulterior motive. Tell me if someone makes you feel unsafe, or any of your friends at work for that matter. I have a little sister, as you may be aware."
That made her feel a little guilty. Of course, she had felt weird, uncomfortable, in front of those men - and Arvid, with his tall stance and eyes that had the ability to look like they kept thunder at bay had, in fact, been a blessing.
"Thank you Arvid", she said earnestly, "You're much nicer to me than I deserve."
After what I did to your little sister. She thought the words hung in the air.
"You should know that I don't hold you responsible for anything that happened in the past."
They had reached her stop, and she was grateful, because this wasn't a tram-conversation.
"You should. I've been horrible."
"Don't you remember what I said last time?"
"Sure. I think about that every day", she admitted a little bashfully, "But it's not just that. I denied it ever happened, I shut Liv out completely, I never asked her how she was, how what happened had affected her. I was cold towards her throughout all of first and second year, I got really drunk once and I said some awful things about her while she was just trying to help me get home s- safe."
Alice's voice barely carried.
"I don't mean to be dramatic or a martyr or lay this on you but I think I'm at like, the deserves to die probably point of shitty behavior", she got out with a choked laugh.
Ashamed, she turned from Arvid. Arvid was considering what she had said, he already knew about the drunk-thing, he knew what she had said to Liv, Thomas had told him at some point. What he got stuck on was her last sentence.
"Alice, look at me a sec."
At this point she was curling into herself slightly, shaking her head, still facing away. Arvid walked around instead, to face her.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for doing this right now", a shake went through her and she swallowed with difficulty, then gasped for more air and cursed.
"Hey", he murmured, "Listen, you need to breathe. Look at me and breathe, please."
Slowly, she did as he said and relaxed the grip she had had on her head with her arms somewhat, let her panicked, pale green eyes find his.
"You don't deserve to die. Can you just nod in agreement for me?"
To his immense frustration she simply kept staring straight at him.
"Can I... can I..?", he held his hands up towards her.
This time she gave a nod and he put his hands on her shoulders, felt her go lax, occasionally tense up again whenever a sob went through her. Were they sitting on the ground? Was he sitting with her hoisted up in his lap on the cold pavement? It seemed so.