This poem was written at 1 a.m. April 13th 2023. I was feeling like a spectator in my own body. My surroundings were not real. Everything I felt was dampened to the point of nonexistence with only the dull hum of my old computer anchoring me. Enjoy the poem.
(〃ー〃)(〃ー〃)(〃ー〃)(〃ー〃)(〃ー〃)(〃ー〃)(〃ー〃)(〃ー〃)(〃ー〃)
Holy stardust scattered in my sky
It takes me away to a place I can hide away
From myself, from the me that isn't me
Space ticks as I let myself go by
This feeling crawling into me
Seeping cold that muffles part of me
Why don't I hate it?
Thoughts too loud to be mine
The gentle cut of apathy
Is this all I am?
Distant worlds call the me that pretends to be me
An Eye, an Iris, for Them, not Me
I spin this web of fate
separate the me from the me who wishes to be me
Temper time through thoughts that threaten true me
Taking time away from tonight's real me
Their me get to fake me
My me hates me
This feeling crawling into me
Seeping lies that makes a part of me
Why don't I hate it?
Thoughts too loud to be mine
The addictive cut of apathy
Is this all I am?
Distant worlds call the me that pretends to be me
An Eye, an Iris, for Them, not Me
I'm starting to feels less like their me
I fell the weak grasp on my humanity
Tickling the wisps left of my curiosity
Driving me to find the you that makes you
I want to know all that is you
All that isn't me
I want to know what breaks you
To see if I enjoy the way it breaks me
I want to know how to make me
Know the you who hates you
Feeling lonely in this cloud
Passion driving, I can't feel the wheel
I dream of stardust scattered in my mind
I'm not the me who made you
You're the you who made me
This feeling becoming one with me
Burning embers kindle part of me
Why don't I love it?
Thoughts too quiet to be mine
Where's the cut of apathy?
Is this all I am?
Gentle hazy stars fill my heart with strings
Why did the distant worlds stop?
Oh...
I'm just a doll
Is this the real me?