This poem was written at 3:13 pm April 16th 2023. This poem was written when I was feeling euphoric and thinking of self-harm. I will admit it is not the best but I was not having the best of days. Enjoy the poem.
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Oh, Spirit of the Leaves
Are you bothered by the breeze
Or does it make you feel better?
Oh, Spirit of the Trees
Spread your roots inside me
Let me make you feel better
I used a dull blade, to scratch the itch I didn't have
Taking pride in blood, to distract the clouding in my head
Why can't I trust them? Why can't I trust me?
I think but I'm not sure who I am
I leech on the happiness of those around me
But that doesn't make them angry?
Causing discomfort that they find endearing
Please can something feel real to me
I thought we were lonely together
but to them together alone
Even her optimistic eyes can't see
How you can deal with the waste that is me
Take away my strings
Let me relieve this fake me
I used my cracked nails, to shred the fear of autonomous bodies
Living through the strings on another's back
Skin holds me here
It will release me
The dirt will hold me
It is just as unreal
The new me hates me
The old me forsakes me
Nothing is certain in the eye of the storm
But getting caught is garentee
The old me ate me
My spirit set free
The open wounds littered around me
Open the shell for your me
Oh, Spirit of the Leaves
Are you bothered by the breeze
Or does it make you feel better?
Oh, Spirit of the Trees
Spread your roots inside me
Let me make you feel better