Her incompetence, weakness, even despair, were all witnessed by the child.
She hoped that Guoguo would be innocent and pure, that she would grow up slowly, and forever remain as unaware as she was in her childhood.
But she also knew that growing up is inevitable. Sooner or later, she would learn everything, the humiliation and incompetence of her mother, and how every moment of calm was lived under that humiliation.
Being so sensitive and precocious, she could not keep it from her for long.
She felt sad, a tightness in her chest, her eyes stinging.
Perhaps the reason she didn't want Guoguo to know these things was not only for Guoguo's sake, but more for herself, out of a pathetic sense of self-esteem. She didn't want her child to discover how incompetent her mother really was. Every parent hopes to be seen as a hero in their children's eyes, not like her, a captive caged by another man from beginning to end.
