"PD-nim, are you feeling sick or something?"
"No… I'm fine."
I hurriedly answered as I fiddled with my phone.
Pushing the discomfort to the back of my mind, I changed my wallpaper back to the default.
The assistant director looked at me worriedly, but I ignored it, turned on the computer, and checked the situation again.
The file I had been working on was still intact.
And the date still read January 14th, 20XX.
"...This is seriously weird. Is something going on?"
"Hold on."
I opened a portal site and searched for my name.
Next to the three characters "Seo Hoyun," a familiar profile popped up.
A photo from a production press conference with a mic in hand, and the words "PD at QBS."
"...Wow."
I could feel my heart pounding wildly as I typed in "The Dawn."
Only unfamiliar book titles and song names appeared.
I searched each member's name in order, but only unrelated people with the same names showed up.
The idol group "The Dawn" that I knew had completely vanished.
'This is insane.'
Roughly raking my hair back, I messed it up completely and stood up.
"Where are you going? To the director?"
"No. Don't worry about me, just carry on."
"...Okay."
I grabbed only my phone and left the office.
Everything was exactly as I remembered.
As I walked quickly through the halls filled with exhausted broadcast station employees, a few familiar faces greeted me.
'…Did I come back?'
But that couldn't be true—my memories of coughing up blood and rolling around on Min Jiheon's floor were still way too vivid.
Looking at the reflection in the black phone screen, I didn't see the face of a 24-year-old idol.
Dark circles from sleepless nights hung down to my chin, my skin was dry and lifeless, and my lips were cracked and bleeding.
Instead of a soft, shiny face, I had the sharp-edged one I remembered from my days as a PD.
"PD Seo! Hello!"
"…Ah, yes. Hello."
I bowed slightly while keeping my eyes glued to my phone.
I searched for Seo Hojin's contact, hesitating before I pressed the call button.
The ringtone dragged on for a while, but the call didn't go through.
I bit at my chapped lips as I fell into thought.
This must be the world Min Jiheon described—the realm of my subconscious and memories.
He said if I could find and identify the tangled mess inside me, I could get out of this world…
Wandering the same spot with an anxious face, I suddenly saw writer Lee Jiseok—who had worked with me on a previous program—returning with some staff, chatting loudly with a coffee in hand. When he saw me, he grinned and spoke.
"PD Seo, let's take a smoke break."
"Ooh~, PD-nim, let's go go!"
"..."
People around us chimed in and egged me on.
"I actually quit smoking…"
I muttered as I patted my chest and felt the shape of a hard box. I opened my jacket, reached into the inside pocket, and found a lighter too.
Was this world showing me what I subconsciously wanted? Or was it just a part of my memory, bringing up what I used to carry?
Clamping my mouth shut, I tried to make sense of it. The writer looked at me with sleepy eyes and said,
"Wow, you really quit, huh."
"..."
I clicked my tongue inwardly but didn't add anything and simply followed them toward the smoking area.
Stepping outside, I was greeted by the biting, dry scent of winter.
I glanced up at the clear sky, contrasting the chilly air.
'How do I get out of here?'
Min Jiheon's words echoed in my head. If I summed it up, he was basically saying not to get too attached—just wrap things up and leave quickly.
There wasn't anything in the broadcasting station that could emotionally trap me.
I'd always dreamed of leaving early, of escaping the station entirely.
I didn't know how much time had passed in reality, but all I had said to Seong Jiwon was that I was stepping out to see my manager. Now I was passed out at Min Jiheon's place—before the aftermath caught up with me, I needed to finish things fast and get out.
"...Whoa!"
I had a cigarette between my fingers, spinning it rather than smoking it, as I tried to organize my thoughts. The voices of chatting staff gradually died down, and their gazes turned toward me.
"…PD-nim, have a good talk."
"We'll get going!"
As I watched them scurry off, I raised an eyebrow—then saw who had approached and understood why.
A perfectly trimmed bob that ended at her chin, a small and skinny frame, and yet a vibe that said she was not to be underestimated.
"You're still a chain-smoker, huh."
It was Kim Heeyoung.
"..."
Please let this be just a memory.
If this is a manifestation of my subconscious, isn't it a bit pathetic?
I resisted the twitch in the corner of my lips.
"Knew I'd find you here."
It felt strange hearing her familiar tone again after our breakup.
"…Why are you here?"
"I used to work here too, you know. Why wouldn't I come? I had something to tell you. Also, why haven't you been answering your phone?"
If I hadn't misread the date, it had been a long time since we broke up.
And yet she suddenly came looking for me? All the way to another network?
Kim Heeyoung sighed and naturally pulled a cigarette from her back pocket, her expression clouded with something heavy.
"…PD-nim."
"Ugh, what's with the formal tone. What?"
Sensing something strange, I took a chance and asked,
"What's our relationship status right now?"
So many bizarre things had been happening—I had to ask, just in case.
But before I even finished the question, Kim Heeyoung kicked me in the shin. It wasn't real life, but it hurt like hell.
"You bastard! Don't be sarcastic! Are you mad that I showed up after our breakup?"
"No, I wasn't trying to be sarcastic—"
"You really are the worst, you know that?!"
Ah, so we really were broken up.
Exactly the same.
I rubbed the spot where she had kicked me.
Kim Heeyoung, clearly furious, stood there breathing heavily with a red face.
"God, you jerk. I came because I was worried about you, and this is what I get? You're really gifted at disregarding people's feelings and making them suffer. You cut everything off like it's nothing."
"…You say that like I was the one who dumped you."
"What's the difference? Technically, you were the one who ended it!!"
That wasn't quite accurate.
She was the one who said we should break up. I was the one who almost got slapped.
But I didn't feel like starting another argument, so I kept my mouth shut.
She let out a long sigh and waved her hand like she didn't even want to think about it anymore.
"Whatever. That's not what I came here to talk about. You had a show that just ended, right?"
"Yeah."
That one.
The idol trainee survival show.
The one where I tried to eliminate Seong Jiwon and failed—that show.
I nodded, and Kim Heeyoung continued.
"Our network is planning a very similar show. …I took a look, and it's basically a copy of yours."
"Ah."
Yeah, I'd heard rumors back then.
Copycatting a hit program was basically routine in this industry.
I shrugged like it was nothing.
"I already heard."
"You did? Did you see the proposal?"
"A little?"
"And you're not pissed?!"
It did bother me, a little.
"It won't be more popular than mine anyway."
I answered nonchalantly, but Kim Heeyoung, despite it not even being her business, got even more worked up and snapped the cigarette she had just taken out.
"Hey, don't you care at all what people say?!"
"About what?"
"They're calling you, like, a demon editor. Aren't you even upset about that?"
I took a moment to think.
It was true I had done some pretty malicious edits.
It was a method to make the show pop.
I didn't really feel wronged.
"…Not really? Ack!"
This time, Kim Heeyoung smacked me on the back.
"You! Seriously! It drives people crazy when you don't explain anything! Everyone just assumes you're the bad guy!!"
"So what? It's not like I did it with some evil agenda. It was just for ratings."
"Don't give me that crap! And it's not like you do that to just anyone! Do you even realize how many of those kids would've ended up nobodies if it weren't for your editing—!"
Suddenly, Kim Heeyoung cut herself off and brushed her bangs away from her eyes.
"…Forget it. Yeah. I guess I'm not the one who should be saying this."
So unnecessarily sentimental, as always.
"Noona."
A word I would've only said inwardly if I were still Seo Hoyun of The Dawn—but I said it out loud.
Kim Heeyoung simply lifted her gaze to look at me, with no real reaction.
"Don't worry. I'm doing just fine."
Then I looked away from her eyes, and noticed—beyond her, in the distance—someone staring straight at me.
"What? What's wrong?"
She asked, seeing my eyes widen in shock.
But I didn't hear her at all.
I brushed past Kim Heeyoung and took a few steps forward. The person flinched, then quickly disappeared behind the building.
"...!"
"Hey, hey! Where are you going?!"
"Wait!"
I shook off Kim Heeyoung's hand grabbing my shoulder and sprinted toward the spot where the figure had vanished.
Creeeaaak—!
Then something bizarre happened.
The previously flat brown sidewalk tiles cracked and began to ripple and tremble.
"…What the hell?!"
"...!"
I nearly tripped but regained my balance and looked up—just in time to catch sight of the small figure slipping through an emergency door.
"Hey!!"
Rumble…!
Craaaack!
Calling out, I rushed toward the emergency exit.
Right then, with a loud boom, the building next to me folded in half.
Not just the building—the entire ground lifted into the air and stacked up like a giant square block covering the sky.
"This is insane…"
I stopped in my tracks, stunned, just staring at the unnatural scene.
But people around me continued their conversations, sipping drinks and going about their business like nothing happened.
That's when it hit me.
This couldn't be real.
'Like hell I'm back.'
Staggering, I caught sight of my reflection in a building window and snapped back to focus. I flung open the emergency door and bolted down the hallway.
Familiar faces turned wide-eyed and called my name, but I didn't have the energy to care.
"Hey! If they catch you, you're dead meat!"
That brat kept running just far enough ahead to taunt me, and I was determined to catch him.
I shouted, and he flinched in surprise. Then I saw him turn the corner at the far right end of the hallway, so I pivoted immediately. I wanted to reach that spot before he could.
I knew this broadcasting station's layout like the back of my hand.
Bang! I threw open a door leading to the emergency stairs and descended rapidly, opening the third door on the way.
Crash—!
Piles of boxes filled with documents toppled over at once. Some floated as if gravity didn't apply, others bounced wildly, blocking my path.
As if the world itself was trying to stop me from reaching him.
Papers sliced at me like blades, and boxes slammed into my body.
But I ignored the pain and picked up the pace, chasing the figure climbing the stairs.
I hadn't seen more than his silhouette and the back of his head, but I was sure.
"Seo Hojin!"
At my call, he seemed startled and stumbled on a step. I didn't miss the opportunity—I closed the distance and caught him just before he fell.
He was unbelievably light.
"You okay?!"
"...Uh,"
I grabbed his shoulders, turned him toward me, and lifted his face with both hands.
I had suspected, but facing him directly made my heart sink with a thud.
Soft, chubby cheeks covered in peach fuzz. A round little head. A body far too small for his age…
"I-I'm okay…"
"...!"
It was 10-year-old Seo Hojin.
And suddenly, Min Jiheon's warning echoed in my head.
"Whatever shows up—don't get charmed."
'Fuck…'
I couldn't help but curse.
His thin lashes trembled as he slowly looked up at me with big, dewy eyes, filled with moisture.
"…I'm okay, hyung."
How the hell was I supposed to not get charmed by that?