The body in my arms was very small.
At ten years old, Seo Hojin was small and youthful-looking, often mistaken for being two or three years younger than he actually was.
Warmth radiated from every spot where his body touched mine.
"Seo Hojin…"
"…Nng."
His eyes were so large they looked like they took up half his face, and they were staring right at me.
Exactly like the Seo Hojin I remembered at ten years old.
But right now, Seo Hojin should be 23. About the same size as me.
Which meant this was probably another trick of the system.
As I stared, frozen stiff, the child fidgeted his fingers with a troubled expression.
"Idiot."
In my lowered line of sight, the young Seo Hojin sighed deeply, almost resigned.
"Put me down first."
I gently lowered him to make sure his feet touched the ground and knelt, holding his shoulders. The one disguised as young Seo Hojin lightly brushed off my hands.
Even if I found it suspicious, I couldn't bring myself to speak right away, struggling for words. But he spoke first.
"I'm your guide here."
"What?"
"This is your subconscious. I've taken the form of the most deeply imprinted figure from your buried memories."
"…You're the Seo Hojin in my memories?"
I squinted suspiciously at him.
"…Think whatever helps."
He added offhandedly, like he didn't expect me to believe him anyway, then began walking away.
"Seo Hojin—no."
I quickly followed behind him and asked,
"Why that form? Why ten years old?"
"Because that was when your guilt and sense of responsibility were deepest."
"…A bit articulate for a ten-year-old, don't you think? Seo Hojin wasn't like that."
The one claiming to be Seo Hojin didn't respond. He only walked faster.
I hurried after him.
"Then why'd you run off?"
"…I wasn't planning on guiding you face-to-face. Just wanted to help from a distance."
"Why? You said you were my guide."
"Because seeing me in person might shock you."
He wasn't wrong.
The moment I saw his face, my first thought was that something bad must have happened to my brother. That was still weighing on me.
My mind was spinning. He glanced at my expression, then turned his head away, pretending to be nonchalant.
"I know what you're worried about, but nothing's happened to the real Seo Hojin. So wipe that look off your face."
He was probably right. This must be the Seo Hojin that emerged from my subconscious.
If not, there was no way the real, foolish Seo Hojin would know exactly what I was thinking.
"Just trust me and follow. I'll help you get out of here alive."
"..."
I stared at him for a moment, then reached out and pinched his cheek. I could feel the soft, warm skin unique to children beneath my fingers.
"Wh-What…?"
Then I stretched it long.
"Agh! That hurts!!"
He slapped my hand weakly, pouting. I let go reluctantly.
"…You're warm."
"What are you saying?!"
The way his eyes narrowed in anger—he looked exactly like young Seo Hojin used to when he threw tantrums.
He glared at me before turning abruptly and climbing the stairs.
"I don't get why you even came here in the first place."
"What do you mean?"
"Just handing yourself over to Min Jiheon. What if he's tricking you?"
Apparently, he shared all my memories as well.
At the top of the stairs, we could see into the windows of abnormally connected buildings, revealing people working inside.
"I didn't trust Min Jiheon."
Seo Hojin, walking a step ahead, looked back at me.
I just didn't have a choice.
I thought I was facing death. I would've grabbed even a rotten rope if it meant survival.
'Though that's not the only reason.'
To figure out the state of my body and find clues to my lost memories, Min Jiheon seemed like the most appropriate person. And when he said, "things you can't understand are tightly entangled, and that's what caused all this," it seemed plausible.
That's why I didn't resist.
Still, I didn't feel like pouring all these personal justifications out in front of him.
There was still a sliver of doubt in my heart, and even if it was just an appearance, he was wearing Seo Hojin's face.
"…Hmm, maybe this form wasn't the best after all. Too many restrictions."
But he shook his head knowingly and sighed deeply, like he already understood everything.
Then he waved his hand, and the buildings began rippling like waves, returning to their original places. A rhythmic vibration echoed around us.
Even after witnessing such an unbelievable scene, he simply pouted, turned to face me directly, and locked eyes.
"Anyway, you shouldn't stay here too long. Don't you hear it? That sound?"
"Sound?"
"A heartbeat. Thumping, like a heart."
As he snapped his fingers, cracks splintered across the wall, and the ceiling split open. A dry, cold wind brushed my cheeks.
"Hold tight."
"Come here!"
The ground beneath us surged upward in jagged formations. Afraid he might fall, I grabbed his tiny hand.
The little guy's eyes widened, and he smiled faintly.
"That sound you've been hearing is your real heartbeat—"
Before I knew it, we were high in the sky.
He raised his free hand and pointed. There, pulsing at a steady rhythm, was a bright red heart.
"—That's your heart."
At this point, I felt like I'd seen it all.
The giant, truck-sized heart throbbed faintly in the air.
"It's still beating, but the longer you stay here, the slower it'll get. You need to get out quickly."
He snapped his fingers again, and the ground slowly descended, lowering us gently onto a rooftop. The building returned to its normal shape.
I followed him down through the rooftop door.
"…Your heartbeat's really weak."
"You must have some idea why. You do, right?"
So it really was because I hadn't listened to the system.
I remembered the chaotic messages that had flashed before I fell into the subconscious world.
The letters had glitched, but they seemed related to quest failure or some kind of loan.
"Well, the whole Shining Star mess didn't help either. The penalty and quest success clashed and caused a huge error. And most of all…"
"..."
"You were suspected."
[Character 'Seong Jiwon' is suspicious of the player.]
As he listed the reasons, they all felt undeniable.
'I really messed up, huh.'
Everything had gone against the system's intended direction.
"Keeping the world you're in right now stable takes a lot of power. But because of all the errors you created, the system's energy got divided, and that strain is being passed on to you. That's why you're in pain."
"..."
All that, from just a few mistakes?
The system felt incompetent. My mind was already busy thinking about how I could continue going against it or if it was better to just play along.
"…Min Jiheon told me to find what he's suppressing."
"That damn bastard…"
"Did you just curse?"
"…No?"
The young Seo Hojin shamelessly turned his head away. I almost flicked his forehead out of disbelief, but instead, I just squeezed his little hand tighter.
He continued walking toward a path that was gradually filling with people.
"PD Seo, where are you rushing off to?"
"Huh?"
"Oh, PD-nim! Hello!"
Familiar people began calling out to me.
You'd think they'd be curious about the kid beside me, but it was as if they couldn't see him at all.
"Why isn't anyone talking to you?"
"Because they can't see me. The subconscious version of Seo Hojin isn't visible to the broadcast station people."
"Why not?"
"Because you didn't want the company people to know about me."
The corner of my mouth twitched faintly.
"Ah! There you are."
In the lobby of the broadcast station, there was a huge digital billboard I'd never seen before.
The screen buzzed with static before displaying a video.
The first scene showed children dancing.
Then it cut to me behind the camera, arms crossed, brows furrowed in disapproval.
A face I often wore when things didn't meet my standards.
The scene changed again—this time to me in the smoking area, taking a puff as a man handed me a shopping bag.
["Haha, this is a holiday gift… Please take good care of our trainees."]
["Hmm."]
With a cigarette in my mouth, I turned the gift bag I'd received upside down and shook it out onto the floor.
Bills fluttered down. A few loose notes scattered in the air, drifting in all directions.
[What do you think you're doing?!]
[Well, you said it was a holiday gift. I was curious, so I took a look.]
I neatly straightened the bag and handed it back to the man.
[Here~ take it back nicely.]
[You—you think you'll get away with this?]
[Oh, absolutely. I always have.]
It had really happened.
Being a PD, there was no shortage of people who came begging to be featured on the broadcast or asked for more screen time.
Even though I always responded firmly, and despite the widespread rumor that "bribes don't work on me," people never seemed to give up. They all tried their luck at least once.
The small kid watching the footage next to me squinted his eyes and muttered,
"Not surprising, but your personality is really something…"
"..."
Even if he was just a manifestation of my subconscious, it was still a little embarrassing to see that.
Then, suddenly, the system window that had previously only appeared to me popped up on the screen.
Ding!
[A portion of your memory has been unlocked.]
[Hi, I'm Song Jion! Please take good care of me!]
And then a face appeared—someone who looked like they were in their late teens.
A low-ranking trainee, Song Jion.
She was from a small agency, and while lacking in talent, she was full of ambition. I remembered how the company had put immense pressure on her.
[PD-nim, I really… what should I do?]
She didn't cry out loud, but tears silently streamed down her face.
Even though I hadn't done anything special for her, rumors spread that her agency had bribed me to rig the results in her favor.
[Why are you still with a company like that?]
Putting talent aside, the situation was just pitiful.
It seemed like it'd be better for her to become one of those "targeted by the evil PD" types—someone who garners sympathy from viewers through manipulative editing.
[…I don't know either. I don't know what to do.]
Her gaze, cast downward, was full of gloom.
[First, pull yourself together. Take a moment and rethink things.]
Back then, while pretending to give advice, I was mentally calculating my next move.
How to make the best of it—for both her and myself.
—But it's not like she was the only trainee like that.
"Well, I watched it."
Turning my body slightly, I asked,
"Why are you showing me this? Feels like a waste of time."
Uncrossing his arms like I had, the kid finally spoke.
"Because this is the turning point."
"Turning point?"
"Watch."
As soon as the words left his mouth, the screen on the large display changed. The kid looked straight into my eyes and said,
"Things probably started to go wrong from here."
"...?"
A bad feeling crept slowly up my spine.
On the screen, I appeared—fishing through my cigarette pack in front of the smoking room.
[PD-nim!]
At that moment, a sharp voice rang out.
I was already irritable at the time, and I scratched my head roughly and turned toward the voice with a smirk on my lips.
The screen slowly panned to reveal the speaker.
[Oh?]
It was the very same trainee who had hurled a curse at me the day before I ended up in this strange world—
[What brings you here?]
—The contestant who placed fourth in the survival show.