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Arriving at the Yamanaka clan compound, Shikaku pounded hard on the front door of the Yamanaka household:
"Inoichi, get up right now!!!"
Yamanaka Inoichi, who had been peacefully cuddling his wife in the middle of a pleasant dream, snapped awake in an instant.
"Shikaku?"
Had some major crisis hit the village?
In a surge of alarm, Inoichi unceremoniously shoved his wife aside, snatched up the nearest clothes, and bolted out of the bedroom.
"???"
His wife, nearly flung off the mattress, sat up slowly with a dazed, utterly confused look on her face.
Inoichi yanked the door open and began pulling on his clothes while already heading toward the exit, not forgetting to call out:
"What happened in the village? Is the front line in serious trouble?"
He had one pant leg on and was dragging the other behind him like a limp flag. After a couple of steps, he realized Shikaku wasn't following.
Turning back in puzzlement, Inoichi found Shikaku frozen at the doorway, staring at him with wide eyes and an open mouth.
Right then, Inoichi had managed to get only one leg into his pants—the other leg still clutched in his hand. He wore just an undershirt, while his outer jacket and jonin vest hung crookedly over his shoulders, half-on at best.
Anyone could see he was in a genuine panic.
"What's wrong?"
Inoichi glanced downward and finally registered that his pants weren't even properly on. No wonder there was an uncomfortable draft in a very sensitive area.
Running around half-dressed in the dead of night—his lower half was bound to feel freezing.
Shikaku's expression began to twitch. He seemed to be fighting something back, struggling valiantly, but in the end he lost the battle. One hand braced against the wall for support, the other clutching his stomach, he doubled over and roared with laughter.
"You—you're seriously trying to kill me with laughter? Isn't your backside feeling nice and breezy right now? Hahaha, I can't breathe!"
"..."
Inoichi's face turned beet red in seconds. His nostrils flared as he breathed heavily through his nose.
"No, no, wait—brother, let's talk this out! Don't swing! Ah—not the face!! Damn it, you actually hit me?!"
"I'm hitting back, obviously."
Are you two completely out of your minds?!
Brawling at the front door in the middle of the night without even finishing getting dressed!
Inoichi's wife stared in speechless disbelief at her now black-eyed, swollen-faced husband, then at Shikaku sitting off to the side nursing his own bruised cheek and wincing with every breath. She truly had no idea what to say.
"You bastard, you didn't hold back at all!!"
Shikaku's eyes bulged in outrage.
Inoichi crossed his arms tightly and snorted.
"Who told you to come pounding on my door in the middle of the night just to mess with me? You made me charge outside with my butt hanging out. Lucky it was dark and nobody saw—if I don't beat you, who else am I supposed to hit?"
"You…"
Shikaku felt his blood pressure shooting through the roof. One hand pressed to the back of his head, he jabbed a finger at Inoichi and bellowed:
"You still have the gall to hit me? If it weren't for Ino, would I have gotten an earful from Lord Advisor?"
"What does Ino have to do with any of this?" Inoichi frowned, then winced sharply. Ouch—that really hurt.
"What does it have to do with her?" Shikaku rubbed his sore face and grumbled:
"Your daughter has started obsessing over someone else day and night."
"???"
Inoichi's face filled with giant question marks. That's all?
He was well aware that his daughter had always had a crush on Sasuke.
He had never tried to interfere. If she liked the boy, fine—let her have her feelings. It wasn't like she and Sasuke were ever going to end up together anyway.
Certain lessons in life had to be learned the hard way, through personal experience.
Compared to most parents, Yamanaka Inoichi was fairly progressive and understanding.
He lifted the teacup from the table, took a slow sip of the hot tea, and replied nonchalantly, not particularly bothered:
"I already know all about it. She's liked Sasuke since she was a little girl. As someone who's been there myself, how could I possibly stand in her way?"
"..."
If only it were Sasuke she was fixated on—that would still be easy to handle.
Shikaku rolled his eyes so hard they nearly disappeared.
"Sasuke? Sasuke's nothing special. The person your daughter can't stop talking about now is our very own Assistant Lord. Shikamaru sent a letter saying Ino's behavior has been really strange lately. I went to ask Lord Advisor about it just now, and as a result I got completely torn apart by him. And you—you lose it and punch me just because I laughed a couple of times."
"Wait—hold on, give me a second to catch up…"
Inoichi suddenly felt a pounding ache at his temples.
Wasn't Sasuke the one his daughter was supposed to be in love with?
When had it switched to the Lord Advisor?
"Hiss..."
Inoichi drew in a sharp breath and muttered under his breath:
"Ino's got good taste, huh? Finally figured out that Sasuke's just a handsome shell with nothing inside, and now she's set her sights on Lord Advisor. That judgment… she really takes after her old man."
"Pfft!" Shikaku sprayed tea across the table—thankfully it was only tea and not blood. He was utterly floored by Inoichi's response.
Sure, compared to Kazuki, Sasuke might be good-looking but ultimately hopeless, but as her father, don't you think saying something like that is wildly inappropriate?
So apparently I'm the only one actually stressing over this.
"Get lost, you idiot."
The more he dwelled on it, the angrier he became. Shikaku couldn't resist—he delivered one solid kick to Inoichi before spinning around and bolting.
A loud series of crashes and bangs erupted as furniture toppled, followed almost immediately by Yamanaka Inoichi's furious bellow:
"Nara Shikaku!! That jerk—I was only joking. Did he really have to react like that?"
Inoichi clutched his aching waist and let loose a string of curses.
As a father, he was naturally worried about this sudden shift in his daughter's affections. He wasn't some clueless fool.
He'd only gone along with the conversation to tease a little, never expecting Shikaku to explode like that—launching a kick straight into his kidney.
"Yamanaka Inoichi, are you trying to demolish our house in the middle of the night? Should I borrow some Inuzuka dogs to help speed up the destruction?"
"Honey, hear me out—it's all that bastard Shikaku's fault! He kicked me flying, that's why everything got knocked over. I wasn't trying to wreck the place. You have to believe me—don't hit the face, ow!!!"
The following day, inside the Hokage's office, Kazuki gazed at the two heavily bruised men with an odd, almost amused expression.
"You two got drunk and decided to settle things with fists in the middle of the night?"
Neither Yamanaka Inoichi nor Nara Shikaku were the hot-headed type.
Yet here were these two normally calm, highly intelligent men, standing side by side in the Hokage's office looking like mirror images of each other—faces mottled with black, purple, and blue bruises. Inoichi's injuries seemed worse; he was walking gingerly, one hand braced against his lower back.
It's your fault!
Inoichi shot Shikaku a murderous glare. Shikaku promptly turned his head away, pretending not to notice.
"Lord Advisor, I've prepared everything you asked for…"
Izumi hurried into the room carrying a bag. The instant she caught sight of Shikaku and Inoichi, she froze in shock—the bag slipped from her fingers and thudded to the floor.
"You two sirs, what happened to you…"
"Ahem—we took a nasty fall last night."
Inoichi coughed awkwardly as he explained: "Fell pretty hard. Broke quite a bit of furniture in the process."
"..."
Shikaku joined in with a cough of his own:
"I fell too—smashed our living room tea table. My wife gave me an earful afterward."