It was family affair week before Dominic, Matteo, and Leo left for that weird convention, so we have been doing so much this entire week; the baking was just the tip of the iceberg.
It felt so good for us to be doing all of this, but I know why…we were doing it.
Just in case.
I gulped.
Just in case, the convection goes bad, but…I don't wanna think about that.
I don't need to think about that.
Everything will be fine.
I know it will.
I pushed the feeling down and started smiling again.
Let me be happy.
"I am not getting in the water," Dominic said.
We were all outside, and trying to teach this grown-ass man how to swim.
"Dominic, you are 38, and do not know how to swim. That doesn't concern you at all?"
"No, why would it?" Dominic said back to Leo, who rolled his eyes.
Isabella and Leo were already in the pool, swimming around, and Matteo was sitting on one of the chairs outside.
"Ryder's going to leave you and find a man who can actually swm," Matteo said.
"Why are we lying on my name right now?"
"To get your grown ass fiance into that fucking pool," Matto said, laughing, and Dominic started pouting.
I grabbed his hand. "Don't pout, baby, you are too old to be doing that," I said, hugging him.
"Are you going to get in the water?"
"Yeah, I have my cast wrapped and all of that."
"Are you gonna take your shirt off?"
I nodded.
"I'm in."
I started laughing.
"Right, okay, let's put sunscreen on you then," I said, and he nodded.
"Daddy, are you getting in the water?"
"Yes, he is," I said, and Dominic nodded nervously.
"I, uh. I don't think my arm can get wet."
I rolled my eyes. "Dom, you take a shower every day, stop being a weirdo," I said, pulling off his shirt for him.
Oh, this sexy ass.
"What?" he asked me with a flirty smile.
I pulled him closer to me, and I started to whisper, "You are lucky, so very lucky that we are outside."
I pushed him back with a smile.
I grabbed some sunscreen and started to lather my grown ass man up.
I put it everywhere and pushed him every which way to make sure he didn't burn.
"Baby, baby, I think I'm good," he said, laughing.
"Skin cancer is real, baby, and you are so pale, you need more," I said, rubbing it on his face like he was a child.
Part of me just wanted to oil my man up, but I also don't want him to burn.
"Okay, you are good now," I said, taking off my shirt.
"You want help with sunscreen?" he smiled at me.
"I got it," I said as I started to put it everywhere.
"Damn shame," Dominic said as he gave me a flirty smile.
"Okay, pool time."
"Baby," Dominic said, and I started to walk toward the pool.
I grabbed his hand and started pulling him towards the water. "I can't, I can't," he said as he started shaking his head. "What if I drown?"
"You are too big to drown," I said and started to walk towards the water.
He stopped.
"Dominic, I am not going to play with you right now. I don't know why you are scared, but you need to calm down. You are not going to drown; we are all right here. All you need to do is stand up, do you hear me?"
Dominic nodded, and I started to walk him until we finally reached the bottom of the pool.
"See, all you need to do is stay right here."
"This is the most scared I have ever been in my entire life. What if I drown?"
"Stop asking me that and come on, help me, I dont wanna get my cast wet," I said. It was wrapped, but I just needed Dominic to stop being afraid.
"Dad, you are a grown man, this is embarrassing," Isabella said, swimming over to her dad.
"I was never taught how to swim," he muttered.
"I know, dude, but you are too old," Isabella said as she climbed on her dad's shoulders.
"What are you doing?"
"Trying to have some daddy-daughter time, now get away from the edge so I don't bust my head," Isabella said, and Dominic slowly started to walk towards the middle of the pool.
I walked back over to the steps and got out.
"Ryder?"
I turned back. "I am going to watch you guys from right here. I am not going anywhere," I said, and I watched as Dominic looked at me nervously.
I didn't want to interrupt daddy-daughter time.
Matteo stood up, "Do you want a towel?"
"Yeah, I was gonna just lie out."
"I'll join you."
The two of us laid the towels down on the cement and sat down.
"Dom's giving me a mean mug right now."
I looked over. I smiled, he so was.
"Baby, fix your face," I said, and he gave me a fake smile.
"Dad, at least try to put your head under the water."
"That's not fucking happening," Dominic said.
"Dom, be nice," I called out.
"She's not being nice to me."
"You'll live. Isabella, why don't we try one thing at a time? We can try head under the water next time, maybe actual swimming, and then maybe one day we can go to the deep end," I said, talking to Dom like he was a child.
Isabella laughed as she stood up on Dominic's shoulders.
He grabbed her feet frantically. "What are you doing?"
"Trying to do a back flip."
"You're what?! You better not, Isabella, I swear to god…"
She cut her dad off. "I'm not, I'm not, I am just jumping, calm your ass down."
Isabella jumped into the water and swam back over to her dad.
"Can you reapply sunscreen for me?" matteo said, and I nodded.
I reached over for the sunscreen, put some on my hands, and started to put it on his back.
"How are you feeling?"
"Fine, how about you?" I asked.
"No, like how's the medicine and all that treating you?"
"Terrible, but it's fine," I said back to him.
"When's your next doctor's appointment?"
"In a day or two," I said, and Matteo nodded.
"Do you want me to get your front too or not?"
"I got it," He said, and I nodded.
"How are you and Leo?"
"He still hates me."
"I would too."
"Yep, hard to forgive someone like me," he said, staring at the pool.
Leo had been doing laps this entire time.
"Do you still like him, or do you like the idea of him?"
"Both, I like the idea of having someone, well, having him because of what we had, but also I feel the actual feelings coming back, like the normal ones. And I feel physically and emotionally attracted to him even after all these years," Matteo mumbled.
"Interesting."
I switched my position to lie down on my stomach as I straight-up oogled Dominic.
"God, he looks so sexy."
"I know he's probably thinking the same about you," Matteo said.
"You flatter me."
Isabella was splashing him as he yelled at her, and it was so funny and so cute.
And those tattoos, and his body, and the water. God, I feel like I'm in heat right now.
Let me calm my ass down.
I am also going to count my going to the pool as my physical therapy for the day, because trying to get Dominic to the pool was enough work.
"Ryder, come get my back in," Isabella called out. "I wanna get out, and I don't want my dad to get out."
"Why can't I get out?"
I stood up, guess who is on babysitting duty now?
"Dominic, come catch me, baby," I said.
"What?" He asked, getting closer, and with all the strength I had, I jumped right onto him.
He frantically caught me as I laughed.
"Hi, baby," I said with a smile.
"What are you doing?" He said, still holding me.
"Trying to keep you in the pool as long as possible."
"I'll stay in here all day if you're here."
"Get your gay ass away from me," I said, and he let me go.
He smiled.
"What? You look good in your swimsuit."
"Or do you just like me in shorts?"
"That too," he said, and both of us started to laugh.
He walked over to me in the water and hugged me.
"I am gonna miss you."
"Miss me when?"
"When I am on my trip."
"You are saying that like you are gonna die," I said, and he just smiled.
Not reassuring at all.
"I won't die, I can't have someone taking you from me." He looked at me. "Would you get reengaged if I die?"
"Why would you bring this up?"
"Just answer it."
"Despite us being fake-engaged for like a month, I do love you a lot, and I don't really know what I would do with myself if you died."
"That doesn't answer my question," Dominic said in this sexy tone of voice.
"I'd get engaged to your brother, the less hot version of you."
Dominic gave me this weird look as I started to laugh, "dude, I am joking. I don't know what I would do, and I don't really wanna think about that right now, especially with you and this damn convention coming up."
He rubbed my back. "Right, right, I am sorry, baby. I'll make sure to haunt your future husband."
I smiled at the word husband. "I'm sure you will," I said as I kissed his forehead.
After a while of standing in the water, talking about bullshit, we finally got out.
"What do y'all want for dinner?" I asked.
"We can do DoorDash, because I don't want you stressing over that right now." I smiled at Dominic, "Thank you, baby."
"Is everyone fine with bbq?"
There were no objections. "I am gonna get the family thing and a bunch of drinks, no objections because I am the one paying for it." Right.
After we cleaned everything up out here, Dominic and I headed upstairs.
"Get out, I am going to shower," I said to Dominic, who was sitting on the closed toilet.
"We can shower together."
I rolled my eyes.
I turned on the shower.
"No complaints this time around, I see," Dominic said with a smile.
"You aren't getting anything from me right now, I hope you know."
"Just seeing you naked is enough."
"That feels somehow dirtier than sex," I said, and I turned around as he raised his eyebrows at me.
I took out my French braids and grabbed shampoo and conditioner. She needed a good wash, I fear.
"I like your hair like that."
"Thank you, you aren't going to like it in a second when you have to help me wash it," I said, taking off my swimsuit and getting into the shower.
Dom quickly followed. "Just tell me what I have to do and I got that shit."
"Well, start by backing up, I don't wanna feel your dick while I am trying to get clean."
"My bad, my bad," he said, taking one step back and then stepping forward again. Right.
I put shampoo on his hands. "I need you to scrub, like, actually scrub."
"Wait, rub it together first, okay, now scrub," I said, and turned around as he started to scrub my hair.
"I need a nice lather, lots of soap."
"What does that mean?"
I turned back and looked at him. "You are pissing me…" My voice went quiet as my eyes dropped.
I quickly looked back up at him. And he raised an eyebrow at me. "I am not expecting sex from you at all. I respect your choices, but your nice ass is all in my face, what do you want me to do?"
"You're pathetic."
"I know," he said with a half smile.
"I want you to scrub so it's soapy," I repeated and turned around, trying to ignore Dominic the best I could.
He continued to scrub my hair as I washed my body.
"I'm really proud of you for getting in the water today," I said.
"Thank you!" Dominic said in this cheery voice.
"We are going to keep trying and hopefully get you at least doggy patting one day," I said, and he let out a long breath.
"I can't have my man's greatest weakness be swimming," I said, and I felt him grab my waist and turn me around.
"What are you doing?" I barked at him.
"I like it when you call me your man."
"You're so gay, get your hands off me," I said, pointing at him as he smiled.
He let go. "God forbid I be in love."
My heart warmed. "You are too old to be talking like that."
"Anything else, baby?" I must have smacked my head or something because the way he said that got me feeling brand new.
"Nothing, now, you can get out and get that brush I put somewhere."
Dick swinging and all, Dominic got out of somewhere, got my brush, and came back in.
"I am going to brush my hair, you shower while I do that," I said, and he nodded. "Yes, sir."
"You have a nice ass."
Dominic looked at me with a mortified look.
"What?"
"You're gay too," Dominic said.
"The O.G."
Dominic's face turned sour.
"What?" I raised my eyebrow.
"I feel jealous."
"About what?"
He licked the inside of his teeth, and his eyes became unreadable.
Sometimes I forget he's a mafia boss, and not just ANY MAFIA BOSS; he is the top mafia boss in the country.
When you get close to people and well fall in love, you lose the thing that keeps us alive, the ability to detect fear and danger.
I'm naked in the shower with this guy, detangling my hair.
He's a mafia boss.
"I should kill those bitches for touching you like that," Dominic said in this low voice.
"Well, I am with you now, daddy-o, no need to worry," I said, hitting him with my foot lightly.
His look was unfazed. "I'm going to kill them."
"Baby, it's fine."
"Yeah, but it's not," he said, pissed. "I don't like how you are defending those pathetic fuckers." he was seething through his teeth.
"I am not defending them; it's just that it's in the past now."
His nostrils flared. "Fine, I'll drop it."
"Good, and they didn't make me gay, Dominic. I have been gay."
"I know." Right, so why would we bring this up in the first place?
"And I doubt that place still exists. I acknowledge they hurt me, and I acknowledge you want to kill them, but it's in the past," I said, talking to him softly and slowly. The easiest way to get to a man I fear. "And that doesn't make you incompetent or a bad fiancé, it means you can help me recover and help me be better."
Dominic gave me a soulless look. "But I'm bad, I put my hands on. I hurt you…"
"Dominic! Stop. I don't know why you are overthinking so much right now, but it's okay. Calm down. Everyone makes mistakes, and I am not justifying what you did or what you are going to do, but make an effort to be better, and that's a win in my book. Now calm down, drop it, and finish cleaning yourself," I said as I finished detangling my hair.
I got out of the shower, grabbed a towel, and started twisting my hair.
I put on lotion and walked over to the room. I threw on some boxers, shorts, a t-shirt, and grabbed Dominic some clothes.
"I got you clothes, doll," I said, and Dominic gave me a small smile.
"Thank you."
I walked back into our room as Dominic followed.
"You like a little boy."
"Thank you, honey," I said, smiling.
He put his hands on my waist. "A cute little boy, though," he pulled me closer to him.
"I know you didn't mean it, but that came out very creepy."
He blinked slowly at me. "Your eyes are gorgeous."
"It's because they are evil."
"Seductive more than anything," he said and smiled at him.
I kissed him. "I love you, dumb ass."
"I love you too, now let's go eat some good bbq."
"Of course, of course, can't wait," I said with a smile.
Small moments like these.
Small moments like these that don't seem to matter in the long run.
Small moments that mean absolutely everything.