Chapter 276: Aoko: "You're Trying to Kill Me With Laughter!"
It wasn't until Rin—hair a tangled mess—climbed to her feet and started tracking down Ruby's magical signature that the laughter in the clubroom finally began to subside.
They had no choice. If they didn't stop, someone might literally pass out from lack of oxygen.
The moment of calm was sorely needed. After all, everyone was sure this wasn't the only gag scene in Magical Illya.
Unfortunately, the spotlight shifted. The story moved away from everyone's new favorite comedy duo—Rin and Luvia—and onto the actual protagonist: Illyasviel.
A wave of disappointment passed through the room. So far, the first episode had been divided into three story beats:
1. The opening: Rin and Luvia screw things up at the Clock Tower and get exiled to Japan's Fuyuki City.
2. A quick dive into Illya's everyday life, setting up the story's peaceful backdrop.
3. The legendary sky duel and ultimate humiliation of Rin and Luvia at the hands of their own magical staves.
As anyone could see, the first and third parts had been comedy gold—especially due to Rin and Luvia's constant bickering and over-the-top antics.
Illya's scenes, while cute and a bit whimsical, just didn't pack the same comedic punch.
At least… not at first.
That all changed the moment Ruby—the same mischievous magic wand that abandoned Rin mid-air—dropped into Illya's life.
Now this was entertainment.
Of course, due to content regulations, the original scene of Illya and Shirou sharing a steamy moment in the bath was completely axed from the live-action version.
Let's be real—there was no way they could show a fully nude Illya on screen. Not even with censorship fog, magical sparkles, or glowing light beams.
The censors wouldn't allow it. Parents definitely wouldn't allow it.
And most of all… Kiritsugu Emiya, the final boss of doting dads, would absolutely not allow it.
So, that infamous bathtub encounter was rewritten: Illya, walking down the hallway, stops as she notices strange magical lights in the sky (courtesy of the magical obaa-sans), and looks up, curious.
Meanwhile, Shirou sneaks up behind her, planning to tap her shoulder and startle her a bit—big brother fun and all.
But before he can land the scare—
BONK!
A magic wand crashes from the heavens and slams into his face.
The clubroom erupted in a fresh wave of laughter.
Aoko's eyes squinted into little crescent moons as she pointed at the screen, wordlessly wheezing at Shirou's hilariously warped expression post-impact.
"Classic," someone muttered through laughter.
"Comedic gold," another snorted.
Because let's face it—nothing makes people laugh harder than someone else's bad luck.
But it didn't end there.
Ruby, having tried to land gracefully into Illya's hands, completely missed when the startled girl instinctively dodged.
Still, this energetic wand wasn't about to give up on its new magical girl.
In a voice that was somehow sweet, bubbly, righteous… and just a bit too sugary, Ruby began her enthusiastic self-introduction—like a magical girl merchandise salesman at full throttle:
"Nice to meet you! I am the wand of love and justice—Magical Ruby-chan~!"
"You've been chosen as the next candidate for magical girlhood!"
"Come on! Grab the wand!"
"Join me in fighting the (subjectively) evil forces of darkness!"
To sum it up: "Form a contract with me and become a magical girl!"
Illya's response was instant, deadpan, and glorious:
"This thing… is way too suspicious."
Who could blame her?
Ruby might have looked like a cute little wand, but her voice sounded like a middle-aged man trying to sell candy outside a van. It was deeply unsettling.
At least Kyubey, the sketchy magical creature from another franchise, tried to pretend to be a cute mascot. Ruby? Ruby just went full uncle mode and didn't look back.
Unfortunately, even though Illya had clearly noticed something was off about Ruby and had already started to grow wary, she still fell for the wand's act and ended up forming a contract to become a magical girl.
Then again, the show is literally called Magical Illya. If she didn't become a magical girl, it'd be like Naruto deciding not to be a ninja and just opening a ramen shop instead.
But just as Illya transforms into a magical girl for the first time—
Enter Rin Tohsaka, looking like she just came back from a war zone in the Middle East.
"I've finally found you, Ruby~"
With her fists clenched tight and cracking ominously, Rin was clearly ready to send that wand straight to the Counter Force for punishment.
"Wait—what is that outfit… pffft—HAHAHA!"
From beyond the screen, the clubroom audience doubled over again, unable to hold back their laughter at Rin's utterly ridiculous appearance.
But the comedy duo of Rin and Ruby wasn't finished.
Upon discovering that Ruby not only refused to return to her, but had also signed a contract with a random loli off the street, Rin slammed the wand against a wall in frustration.
Not satisfied, she started furiously squeezing Ruby's staff head, as if she were trying to crush it like a stress ball.
"You've got a lot of nerve, Ruby!" Rin growled through gritted teeth. "If that's how you want it, then I'll discipline you until you beg to change owners!"
"Ohoho~ So passionate, aren't we?"
Ruby replied in her usual cheeky tone.
"You sure do love being a magical girl, don't you?"
"LIKE HELL I DO!!" Rin exploded. "It would be better to commit suicide if you are seen like that!!"
Standing beside her, Illya—still in her own magical girl outfit—deadpanned, "So… should I commit suicide now?"
That line sent the young magi in the clubroom into a full meltdown. People were howling with laughter, some with tears in their eyes, others clutching their stomachs like they'd been stabbed by comedy itself.
And just when it seemed like the energy might finally die down, the show doubled down again.
Seeing that Rin still refused to give up, Ruby could only encourage Illya to deal with her.
After all, if the root of all problems is people, then the solution is obvious: just eliminate the person.
"Illya," Ruby instructed smoothly, "say 'You jerk' and swing the wand at her like this."
"You jerk."
Illya, mimicking Ruby's demonstration, swung the wand while shouting the line—
ZAP
A beam of light shot from the wand's tip, engulfing Rin in a burst of smoke and sparkles.
"WHAT THE HECK DID YOU JUST MAKE ME SHOOT?!"
Illya's voice cracked with panic as she turned to Ruby.
"I simply responded to your inner voice, Illya," Ruby said proudly.
"'I'm never giving up this wand. Go home, you overaged twin-tailed weirdo!'—that's what you said."
"I DID NOT SAY THAT!!" Illya yelled, horrified. "I NEVER SAID ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!"
But Rin, emerging from the dust cloud like a prehistoric cavewoman, clearly wasn't buying it.
"Who are you calling an overaged twin-tailed weirdo!?"
"I swear it wasn't me!!"
BOOM BOOM BOOM!
Rin unleashed a barrage of magical blasts like bullets from a Gatling gun. At that moment, she wasn't a magus—she was the Terminator.
And Illya? Just another target for elimination.
"PWAHAHAHAHA!! 'Overaged twin-tail'—I can't, I seriously can't!"
The room exploded with laughter again. The sound was like popcorn in a hot pan—nonstop and explosive.
Several viewers were physically bent over from laughing too hard, gripping chairs and tables to keep from falling.
Shibamatsu was already slumped against the wall, wheezing like he'd just run a marathon.
Aoko? She was flat on the floor, rolling back and forth like a cat in a sunbeam, completely defeated by the hilarity.
Even though the full premiere of Magical Illya wasn't over yet, the club's reaction made one thing absolutely clear:
This tokusatsu adaptation was off to a glorious start.
<+>
If you want to see more chapter of this story and don't mind paying $5 each month to read till the latest posted chapter, please go to my Patreon[1]
Current Chapter In Patreon: Chapter 335: Taiga Fujimura's Nighttime Adventure[2]
Link to the latest chapter: https://www.patreon.com/posts/141555111?collection=31097[3]
https://www.patreon.com/collection/31097?view=expanded[4]
[1] https://www.patreon.com/collection/31097?view=expanded
[2] https://www.patreon.com/posts/141555111?collection=31097
[3] https://www.patreon.com/posts/141555111?collection=31097
[4] https://www.patreon.com/collection/31097?view=expanded