Chapter 275: Magical Obaa-san
Under the dazzling night sky, vibrant bursts of fireworks lit up the heavens one after another.
However, if someone were to observe the spectacle with a high-powered telescope, they'd quickly realize—those weren't fireworks at all. What filled the sky were rapid-fire volleys of magical attacks.
Crimson and azure. Two figures danced through the air in an intricate ballet of teleportations, high-speed dodges, and explosive clashes of magic.
"Yaaahhhh—! Why the hell are you attacking me?! Did you forget this is supposed to be a joint mission?!"
The girl clad in red yelled out in frustration, but her staff never once paused as it rained spells down at breakneck speed.
"Oohohohoho~! This kind of simple mission is child's play for me alone! You're the biggest obstacle to getting it done!"
Came the smug reply from the blue figure, who cackled like a haughty queen while retaliating with twice the ferocity.
Thus unfolded the chaotic skirmish of Rin and Luvia—two magical "obaa-san" already past the tender age of seventeen—recklessly unleashing a storm of magic upon each other in the night sky.
What's that? You're asking why seventeen counts as "obaa-san" (middle-aged lady)?
Well, as any mage worth their mana knows, the career lifespan of a mahou shoujo (magical girl) is notoriously short.
Typically, the term "shoujo" refers to girls aged seven to seventeen.
Of course, in the modern age, the definition's gotten a little fuzzier—heck, some cheeky ones might still call themselves "girls" well into their twenties and no one bats an eye.
But "magical girl" is a special case. Given the job's sheer absurdity and overwhelming cringe factor, once you're past your "chuunibyou" (middle school delusion) phase, you no longer count as a "shoujo." No matter how you dress it up, you're officially a mahou obaa-san.
Well, alright—if you're defining "magical girl" purely as a profession, then sure, there have been a few thirty-five-year-olds running around in ribbons and frills.
But in the case of Rin and Luvia, two ladies who do know the meaning of shame—at least in theory—flitting around in floaty costumes under the moonlight should be utterly mortifying.
—Usually.
Anyone with the slightest knowledge of Miss Tohsaka or Miss Edelfelt would understand immediately—once these two get fired up, forget frilly outfits. Even if they were decked out in lacy see-through lingerie, they'd still be brawling non-stop for three days and nights straight.
Against this kind of combat-crazed ojou-sama, even magical tools start to reach their limit.
After shielding Rin from a particularly nasty blast, the crimson staff Ruby finally had enough. With an audible clink, it outright refused to activate the Class Card.
Same thing happened on the other side. The azure staff Sapphire buzzed and went limp in Luvia's hands, also refusing to power up her transformation.
"..."
"..."
And just like that, the once-explosive battle in the sky ground to a halt, wrapped in a heavy, awkward silence.
"Oi oi! Ruby!"
Rin knocked her staff with the card, grumbling. "Why aren't you responding? Come on, do something! Ruby!"
The only reply she got was the staff raising its little hands in an exaggerated shrug.
"We've honestly had it with you two."
"Wha?!" ×2
Neither of the young ladies realized the severity of the situation just yet.
"You weren't entrusted with us to beat each other up, you know?"
"You're supposed to use us to complete your mission, remember?"
"But instead, you waste our power on your petty catfights— You've got your priorities seriously backward!! Enough is enough!!!"
As the two magical staves delivered their righteous tirade, both Rin and Luvia shrank back, visibly wincing.
Not that they didn't know using magical tools for personal grudge matches was wrong—but when tempers flared, all logic got blasted out the window. The only thing that made sense in that moment was pummeling the other into submission!
Ah yes, the shining pride of modern magical women.
Faced with such unreasonably selfish Masters, the two magical staves decided—
—to be selfish for once themselves.
"For now—" ×2
Before their overaged magical girls could even react, the staves leapt from their palms at lightning speed.
"—let's take a little break!" ×2
With a flash, the magical girl costumes that adorned Rin and Luvia vanished into glittery particles. A second later, the two spell-slinging heiresses began plummeting from the sky.
"AHHH!! I'm falling!!"
"Damn you, Sapphire! I won't forget this!!"
Screaming like over-the-top cartoon villains, the two high-class mages fell like meteorites toward the ground.
In the original manga and anime, there was a brief argument between the girls and their staves before they actually dropped—but that was classic 2D logic.
In live action, dragging that moment out would've just broken immersion.
Sure, Rin and Luvia could have used levitation magic to slow their fall, being mages and all. But if that were the case, then there's no way they'd be crashing down in such comical fashion.
And Shinji Matou—who directed the scene—wasn't about to invite plot holes just to squeeze in one more joke. He wasn't that desperate for laughs.
So instead, he simply had the girls drop straight out of the sky, a clean and simple gag.
—Simple for Shinji, maybe. But for the ones on screen, it was maximum embarrassment.
Smack
From behind the screen, Rin Tohsaka buried her face in her hands and let out a long, suffering sigh.
"Just go ahead and laugh already. Don't hold it in."
"Ahaha—sorry, Rin—haha!"
Arturia waved a hand in apology, her shoulders trembling with suppressed laughter.
Rin, doing her best to maintain her composure, added, "I knew it was going to be like this when we filmed that scene. Think of it as a little fanservice."
Compared to that suggestive opening earlier, this quarrel-filled scene felt almost relaxing.
Not because she didn't care—but now that she was mentally prepared (and had already taken the worst hit at the beginning), Rin's mood had somewhat stabilized.
It also helped that Arturia was doing her best to hold back her laughter, giving Rin the comforting illusion that maybe she hadn't made a complete fool of herself.
But the same could not be said for the rest of the room.
"Pffwahahaha! This is hilarious! I had no idea Shinji Matou had such a gift for comedy! Hahahahaha!!"
Aoko Aozaki was practically rolling on the couch, laughing so hard she almost sprayed her half-eaten chips across the room.
Her less-than-elegant behavior wasn't scorned by anyone in the club—because honestly, everyone else was laughing just as hard.
Watching Rin and Luvia frantically use magic to slow their fall, only to crash into the dirt in a crumpled mess anyway, was just too much.
Most viewers would laugh at the scene itself. But magus? They got to laugh at the people involved too.
After all, the Edelfelt family held considerable influence in the World of Magecraft, and the Tohsaka name had seen a huge publicity boost thanks to Shinji's recent promotional efforts.
To see those two prestigious ladies—live-action, no less—faceplant so epically, knowing it was based on a true story… It was like watching the school idol fumble through a slapstick comedy sketch. Equal parts surreal and satisfying.
So it wasn't just about the comedy—it was the sheer joy of seeing those particular actresses making fools of themselves.
Aoko couldn't even breathe properly from laughing, collapsed over the couch with a string of "ow ow ow"s, eyes glued to the screen in anticipation of even more ridiculousness to come.
<+>
If you want to see more chapter of this story and don't mind paying $5 each month to read till the latest posted chapter, please go to my Patreon[1]
Current Chapter In Patreon: Chapter 335: Taiga Fujimura's Nighttime Adventure[2]
Link to the latest chapter: https://www.patreon.com/posts/141555111?collection=31097[3]
https://www.patreon.com/collection/31097?view=expanded[4]
[1] https://www.patreon.com/collection/31097?view=expanded
[2] https://www.patreon.com/posts/141555111?collection=31097
[3] https://www.patreon.com/posts/141555111?collection=31097
[4] https://www.patreon.com/collection/31097?view=expanded