Chapter 304: The Round Table Knights' "Plastic Surgery Face Paralysis" Incident
Back in Fuyuki, after Gawain brazenly hung up on the call, a flicker of worry passed over Lancelot's face.
"Um… was it really okay to just hang up like that?" he asked cautiously. "You know Master is unbelievably petty. What if he holds a grudge later…?"
"We'll deal with it when he gets back."
Gawain waved the concern aside with gorilla-like confidence. "By then this whole thing will be old news. The internet forgets fast! That's something Master himself said, remember?"
The big red ape's twisted logic almost sounded convincing at first—but the more Lancelot thought about it, the more wrong it felt.
"Ex—calibur! Ta-da ta-da-ta-da ta-da~!"
Right then, Lancelot's phone rang again.
"Don't answer!"
The gorilla immediately slapped a paw down on the camel's hoof.
"You idiot camel, if you pick up now, that means my 'bad signal' excuse gets exposed! Don't answer it!"
Lancelot snorted coldly. "Who are you calling a camel?!"
'So… you're not denying the 'idiot' part, huh?'
Tristan glanced sidelong at the two bickering knights.
As annoyed as Lancelot was with Gawain's insults, he didn't push back. After all, they were all in this mess together. If Shinji really pressed the issue, none of them could escape.
"Ex—calibur! Ta-da ta-da-ta-da ta-da~!"
And so, the three knights sat in silence, listening to the ringtone blare again and again, waiting for Shinji to either lose patience or move on.
But apparently, their Master had plenty of free time—and an even stronger mule-like stubbornness. For the next several minutes, he cycled through all three of their numbers, refusing to give up until one of them picked up.
"This is endless…" Tristan sighed helplessly. "Maybe we should just admit it. Master's overseas right now—he can't exactly order us around with a Command Seal from that far away."
"What's done is done. No way we're giving in halfway."
Gawain stood firm. "Just wait. Master's busy with the film festival. He doesn't have time to keep chasing us."
Sure enough, as if to prove him right, after failing to get through to Tristan's phone one last time, Shinji finally stopped calling.
With a deep exhale, Gawain shoved his phone back into his pocket.
"Phew~ Crisis averted. Remember: it was bad reception. We didn't ignore him, got it?"
Clearly afraid of being sold out by his companions later, he made sure to hammer the "official story" into them.
Lancelot rolled his eyes so hard they nearly popped out. Like hell he'd ever confess something that would get him punished too.
He stood up and dusted himself off. "Enough. Let's disperse. Sitting here won't help, and we've got another shoot coming up anyway."
"I'm going to grab some water."
Gawain stretched, preparing to leave as well.
But just then—Diarmuid walked out from a nearby room, phone in hand.
"There you are," he said calmly. "Master's calling. For you three."
"Tell him we're not here!"
Lancelot answered without hesitation.
Tristan and Gawain both nodded frantically in agreement.
Diarmuid, of course, already knew exactly why they were acting like cornered animals. He'd heard plenty about the "glorious achievements" of these three clowns.
Still, with a rueful smile, he held out the phone.
"No use trying to run. It's a video call. The camera's on."
The moment he said that, their faces drained of color.
At first, Diarmuid had been puzzled as to why Shinji specifically insisted on a video call. But seeing the knights' horrified expressions, he instantly pieced it together.
To his credit, Diarmuid covered both the lens and the mic with his hand, shielding them for a brief moment. Then he leaned closer and whispered a warning:
"Answer him. If Master really loses his temper, he might call for the Knight King herself… and in that case, you'll be facing a tag-team of Excalibur and Excalibur Morgan."
Immediately, both Lancelot and Tristan's imaginations ran wild—conjuring the vivid mental image of themselves being reduced to ash by alternating blasts from the holy sword and the cursed one.
And, true to knightly tradition—better the comrade than me—they both turned their heads in perfect sync to look straight at Gawain.
Gawain clicked his tongue as the other two knights shoved the phone at him.
"You caused this mess, so you deal with it," Tristan said flatly.
"Fine, fine, I'll answer."
Gawain grumbled, stepping forward. "What's the worst that can happen? Same old yelling, big deal…"
The moment he accepted the phone from Diarmuid, Shinji's face filled the screen—and so did the ear-splitting roar.
"GAWAIN! You hung up on me just now, didn't you?!"
Watching Gawain's constipated-looking expression through the camera, Shinji all but exploded.
Scratching the back of his head, Gawain forced an awkward smile.
"Me? No way, Master, I'd never hang up on you…"
"…"
Shinji's eyes narrowed, glaring at him through the screen like twin drills boring straight into his skull.
Gawain's smile wavered, turning shifty. "Uh… seriously, it was just… bad signal, that's all…"
"…"
Shinji didn't answer. He just stared silently at him, daring him to keep digging the hole deeper.
And Gawain, dense as ever, actually rose to the challenge.
"M-Master, it was really just… too… la—"
He deliberately cut his words short, pretending the feed was lagging.
Not stopping there, he froze his face in an exaggerated, slack-jawed expression to make it look like a glitched video frame.
After all, cameras these days didn't have the best resolution—you couldn't really tell if someone blinked or not.
"…"
Watching the "frozen frame," Shinji raised an eyebrow.
"Gawain."
"…"
Now Gawain switched to the silent statue technique.
"Gawain!" Shinji barked.
"…"
Still stiff as a board, like he was in a staring contest with the lens.
Shinji opened his mouth to tear into him again—when suddenly, he noticed something on the screen.
Behind Gawain, a man holding a camera strolled into view.
The man spotted Gawain, his eyes lit up, and he immediately raised the camera.
"Gawain, stop pretending your screen froze." Shinji sighed. "Someone's alrea—"
Click!
The shutter snapped.
"??! (Japanese swearing)"
Shinji's face twisted in panic. A reporter who didn't even bother asking questions and just snapped away? That wasn't a real reporter. That was a paparazzo.
And when paparazzi got pictures of celebrities in compromising moments… well, that was nothing but bad news.
"Gawain! Look behind you! It's paparazzi!"
Right now, the Round Table Trio were already under a storm of bad press. If more photos like this got out, their reputations would be well and truly annihilated.
"Stop acting, damn it!" Shinji's voice grew more frantic as he watched the paparazzo hammer the shutter. "He's taking pictures like crazy!"
But on camera, Gawain still didn't move—thinking Shinji was trying to trick him into dropping his "frozen frame" act.
"I'm not lying! LOOK BEHIND YOU, YOU BRAINLESS GORILLA!"
Maybe it was Shinji's uncharacteristic desperation that finally got through, but Gawain cautiously rolled his eyes sideways, trying to peek behind him.
Just in case it was a trap, he even made his eyeball twitch step by step, "lagging" along the way.
But no—Shinji wasn't lying this time.
By the time Gawain's line of sight shifted, he caught the paparazzo dashing away, clutching his camera like it was a holy relic.
On the other end of the call, Shinji's lips trembled with fury.
The studio was too crowded with civilians for Servants to act, and paparazzi were sly—they definitely already had a buyer lined up.
"GAWAAAAINNNN!"
"Master, the feed's… too… laggy… hanging… up…"
Sensing doom, Gawain killed the video call on the spot. No way he was staying connected for the incoming explosion.
"Bloody idiot! You useless gorilla! You son of a—!!"
From Venice, Shinji's furious howls echoed once more into the void, cut off by the dead screen.
◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆◇◆
And just as Shinji expected, The very next day, Shūkan Bunshun dropped a bomb on their website—a photo of Gawain pulling what looked like a full-on nerve spasm, accompanied by the sensational headline:
"[Round Table] Member Gawain Suspected of Botched Plastic Surgery—Facial Paralysis?!
The article itself? Total nonsense. A mountain of wild speculation, all written with one goal in mind: drag Gawain through the mud.
Naturally, the tabloids pounced. Within hours, every gossip rag in Japan was plastered with "analysis" and "commentary" based on Bunshun's hit piece.
"Idol Gawain Overdid the Knife—Facial Muscles Reportedly Necrotic!"
"Botched Cosmetic Surgery Leaves Gawain Permanently Paralyzed?!"
"Behind Plastic Surgery Gone Wrong: Twisted Humanity or Moral Decay?"
"Johnny's Quality Plummets—How Dare They Debut a Malfunctioning Mannequin?!"
"Surgery with Caution: Paralysis Brings Two Lines of Tears～"
—And on it went.
The hashtags followed soon after.
For several days straight, the number one trending topic on Japan's entertainment charts was "Gawain Paralysis", with "Plastic Surgery Cautionary Tale" stubbornly clinging to second place.
If not for the fact that the Venice Film Festival was just about to wrap up—awards ceremony imminent—Shinji would've flown straight back to Fuyuki to personally drag that gorilla back into the Throne of Heroes, then returned to Italy in time for the closing ceremony.
"Damn that Gawain! When I get back to Fuyuki, I'm gonna kill him!"
Shinji's curses carried down the red carpet of Venice's closing ceremony, echoing even as he walked arm-in-arm with Cloris.
"Watch it."
Cloris gave a light hop to dodge the splash of water Shinji's careless step had kicked up, then smacked him on the arm with a scowl.
Today's weather was merciless—Venice was drenched in heavy rain, and the festival's guests had no choice but to brave the storm on the carpet. Staff scrambled to hold umbrellas overhead, but even so, Shinji and Cloris were already half-soaked.
And now, Shinji was stomping puddles in his temper. No wonder Cloris blew up.
"Sorry, sorry," Shinji muttered quickly. "I just… lost it for a second."
"Then why not just control the PR?" Cloris huffed. "Don't tell me that agency of yours doesn't have the resources."
"That's the problem," Shinji groaned. "Sure, the scandal's brought in plenty of haters… but it's also attracted a ton of new female fans. Johnny's won't throw away that kind of engagement."
"What." Cloris tilted her head.
Shinji rubbed his temples, exasperated.
"In their words—'Even paralyzed, he's still so handsome, this man really was born for showbiz!' Or, 'It's not like he's paralyzed all the time, he still looks great when he smiles on TV!'"
"…If it's working in your favor, why the long face?"
"You don't get it!" Shinji clenched his fist in frustration. "He's supposed to be a proud Knight of the Round Table—getting labeled as paralyzed from plastic surgery is the ultimate humiliation! It's like grinding grain naked—you lose your dignity and everyone laughs while you're at it!"
"…I don't really understand your Japanese idol industry," Cloris admitted after a long pause.
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