Chapter 307: Illya: So Embarrassing! (////▽////)
The crimson coat fluttered in the wind, the black vest clung tightly to her small frame, and the silver-haired girl holding a bow in one hand gazed calmly ahead.
She might look like a petite, flat-chested loli, but the aura she carried was something even many adult women could never hope to possess—mature, alluring, and strangely untouchable.
When this silver-haired girl appeared on the television screen dressed in the iconic Archer's red clothing, her cold and refined expression staring straight at her foe, the sight alone made Shibamatsu and the others catch their breath.
Up to this point, Shinji Matou's works had introduced no shortage of beauties—especially in the Fate franchise. Every heroine with a name could easily score above 80 on any beauty scale.
Illya, naturally, was one of these special actresses. On screen, whether in the movie adaptations or the dramas, as long as she wasn't forced into some deliberately "ugly makeup," she would boldly display her unmatched cuteness and charm.
But this Illya… was nothing like the loli they had known before.
It wasn't that she was less cute or less beautiful. On the contrary, in Archer's red, she was breathtaking—radiant in a way utterly different from her usual magical-girl sweetness. Now she radiated sharp elegance, tinged with a womanly allure.
"Could it be… that these flashy, impractical battle outfits really do make women even more beautiful? Just like those tight-suited heroines in other tokusatsu shows?"
Fujita muttered to himself.
He wasn't entirely wrong. Tight suits could be cruel if the body didn't fit, but if the wearer had the right figure and presence, the effect was stunning—nothing less than eye-catching perfection. Just look at the superheroes in Western comics.
Sure, shooting in such skin-tight costumes was absolute torture for the actors, but the studios kept insisting on them. Clearly, tight suits were a good civilization.
Of course, put them on the wrong person, and the result could tumble straight into the uncanny valley.
That's why "buyer's show vs. seller's show" existed in the first place.
What made Illya look so dazzling on screen right now wasn't just the costume—it was her aura.
Not the innocent magical girl.
Not the twisted yandere loli.
But something else—cool and mysterious, touched with just the right measure of mature charm.
Those who knew the Fate/Kaleid Liner Magical Illya plot would recognize Shinji's trick. This portrayal was meant as buildup—for the fan-favorite "Kuro" who was about to make her debut.
The audience, of course, knew nothing of the future story. They were simply bewitched by this Illya.
"She isn't just a magical girl anymore… She's more like a magician. Or perhaps more accurately—"
A single image flickered in Shibamatsu's mind: a fairy from the old legends of Britain.
But he quickly shook his head.
"Impossible. There's no way Shinji would know of a being lost to legend. I'm overthinking it."
Shibamatsu didn't understand how Shinji had captured Illya's aura so perfectly. What he did understand, however, was this: both he and every other fan of Magical Illya hadn't waited in vain this week.
Unlike movie trailers, TV drama previews usually revealed only the tiniest slivers of information—just enough to keep viewers hooked.
Even though the narration in the last preview hinted at the existence of "Dark Illya," her actual screen time had been less than a single second. Just a fleeting crimson silhouette.
Fans who slowed the footage down frame by frame had seen nothing but a blurry red outline.
Which meant that until this week, the existence of Dark Illya had been kept under absolute secrecy. No one knew what she would really look like. At best, they could only speculate.
Despite the efforts of fan artists who had tried sketching Illya in Archer's outfit before, the real thing appearing on the TV screen was on a completely different level.
The reason was simple: no one had expected Shinji Matou to go this far with the design. Not only were her snow-white legs completely exposed, but even her upper body had been turned into a midriff-baring cut.
Is this really something I'm allowed to watch for free on the children's channel?!
That was the collective outcry from countless viewers. Many of them seriously wondered if Shinji had bribed the entire censorship committee. Otherwise, how in the world did this costume pass inspection?
After all, ever since the new millennium, Japan's broadcast standards have only gotten stricter. Tokusatsu productions, terrified of stirring trouble, had been covering their heroines up more and more.
Just look at Commissar's role as Carmilla's human form. Sure, that black gothic dress looked gorgeous—no one could deny that—but it was also absurdly conservative.
Forget thighs—she was already in black stockings, but even her calves were hidden!
What kind of scam is this?! You know why people call them "hai-socks," right?! And you're only giving us a glimpse of the ankle? How's anyone supposed to get hyped over that?!
Shinji Matou, that sly fox, had clearly studied the psychology of his audience down to the bone. The moment Dark Illya's outfit appeared on screen, he had everyone hooked. Viewers were so dazzled that even the cliffhanger rage from last week was temporarily forgiven.
Illya herself, however, had only one word for the design (and she stressed it heavily):
"Shameless!!"
"Too… too… too embarrassing!!"
Face buried in a pillow, Illya's muffled voice was soaked with shame. She was convinced her burning cheeks were hot enough to scorch her silver hair black.
"Mm~ I think it looks great, though," Shirou said casually, clearly pleased with the costume. "It really has a lively, youthful energy. No wonder Shinji had to personally run all the way to Tokyo to make sure it passed review."
Of course, Shirou also had a secret reason to be delighted. Archer, after all, was one of his possible future selves. Seeing his little sister wearing his future self's outfit stirred a strange, proud feeling in him. Any big brother would feel the same way.
Unfortunately, Illya was not amused. She bared her teeth at him like a hissing kitten.
"Onii-chan! I misjudged you!!"
"Eh? Hahaha~" Shirou scratched his head, laughing awkwardly.
Tonight, Illya had deliberately skipped watching the episode with her friends, sneaking home instead. The reason was simple: she couldn't bring herself to face them while wearing such a scandalous costume.
"I mean, Illya… this was just your first appearance. If you're already like this, what are you going to do once that role becomes a regular? Planning to stop showing up to the set altogether?"
Illya puffed her cheeks and retorted:
"That's Kuro's business. What does it have to do with me, Illya?"
"..."
'But you're literally the same actress…'
Shirou's eye twitched. He hadn't expected his little sister to be this good at dodging responsibility.
'My sister… has gone astray.'
While the siblings glared at each other, someone who had been quietly watching the TV finally spoke up.
"Oh my, that outfit looks adorable Kawaii"
"…Hm?" ×2
Both Illya and Shirou turned their heads in unison, their expressions instantly wary.
"You… what are you plotting?"
"Mother, don't tell me…"
Knowing all too well their mother's mischievous streak, a terrifying thought flashed through their minds.
"No way, right?" ×2
Sure enough, Irisviel narrowed her eyes with a bright, playful smile.
"Fufu I was just thinking… I'd like to try that outfit on too. It looks fun, and I wonder how I'd look in it"
"..."
For just a moment, the siblings imagined it.
Irisviel, squeezed into the dangerously tight crimson Archer outfit, bouncing lightly into the air—
Riiiip—!!
Shreds of fabric fluttered to the ground.
"Nope! Nope nope nope!!"
Illya flailed her hands frantically, her voice rising in panic.
"Mom, if you wear that outfit, you'll definitely end up stark naked in the end!!"
Illya could accept herself in the costume—her petite figure didn't exactly leave much to scandalize, at worst giving her a slightly delinquent vibe.
But her mother? With that figure, combined with her ditzy personality and utterly hopeless athleticism… there was no question. In Irisviel's hands, the outfit would 100% transform into an "auto-disintegrating cloth shredder."
If she ever stepped outside in it, she'd be arrested before she even made it to the crosswalk!
"Ahem! M-Mom… maybe you should… talk it over with Dad first. I think, uh, he might give you a chance."
Shirou, ever the tactician, figured that if it were his father, there was no way he'd object to Irisviel trying on something outrageous—at least in private. Whether it ended with Irisviel admitting the outfit was unwearable outdoors, or Dad being bedridden from overexertion… well, that wasn't Shirou's problem.
Ahem, ahem!!
"Let's just keep watching TV, okay? This is Illya's rare moment in the spotlight."
Irisviel tilted her head innocently. "Spotlight? You mean she looks… bright?"
"…." ×2
The siblings had nothing left to say. No matter how they answered, they'd be wrong.
Boom! Boom!
Thankfully, the television itself came to their rescue, pulling Irisviel's attention back.
On screen, Dark Illya's clash with Saber was anything but mild—the intensity of their battle was leagues above anything Magical Illya had shown before.
Veteran viewers could instantly recognize it: this was the flavor of a true Fate Servant duel.
And with Illya now wearing Archer's mantle, the fight carried an even sharper edge, dripping with a sense of déjà vu.
"Unbelievable! After all these years, Shinji finally made our dream come true!"
Fate veterans like Shibamatsu had tears streaming down their faces.
"Finally—Saber and Archer are having a proper fight! This is the matchup we old fans have been waiting for since forever!!"
As two of the most protagonist-flavored Servants in Fate/stay night, people had always wondered: who was stronger, Arturia or EMIYA?
But across all three story routes, fans never got their answer.
Now, at last, Shinji had used Magical Illya to fulfill that long-cherished dream.
Only—
"Hmph. The only reason you fought me to a standstill is because I wasn't in my full state. You agree with that, don't you, Archer?"
At Saber's sharp question, Archer sucked in a long breath, barely restraining his fury.
"I understand your logic, but that doesn't excuse you tormenting me like this!"
His red eyebrows twitched violently as he glared at the mountain of empty plates stacked before him.
For a chef, was there anything more terrifying than a big eater?
Yes—two big eaters.
And even worse?
Two big eaters who both went all out.
Naturally, Archer snapped.
"Damn it all! Are you two bottomless rice-devouring kings trying to send me back to the Throne of Heroes through sheer kitchen overwork?!"
<+>
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