"What do you mean, the records I asked for aren't here?" Tsunade snapped at the archivist behind the desk. "This is the records room, isn't it? Where else could they possibly be? Do they even exist in the first place?"
Her disciple's accusations had sent Tsunade down a veritable rabbit hole, to the records room dedicated to the ANBU's top secret documents, located in the Hokage Residence's basement. The moment Sakura had left her office, Tsunade had marched straight down there to verify her suspicions, only to find herself subjected to a good fisting by the thick forearm of bureaucracy.
"I apologise, Lady Fifth," said the archivist, pushing up her thick glasses with the heel of her palm. "I'm afraid the records concerning the night of the Uchiha massacre were expunged that very night, and all but one copy destroyed."
"Then get me that one!" said Tsunade irritably, banging her fist on the desk.
The archivist remained serenely indifferent to the Hokage's outburst. She merely took out a handkerchief and took off her glasses, slowly wiping off the spittle that she had been sprayed with.
"I'm afraid that's impossible, Milady," said the archivist calmly, putting her glasses back on her nose.
"Impossible?" Tsunade said coldly. "In case you haven't noticed, you're looking at the Hokage. Don't go telling me I haven't got the right clearance level, or so help me—"
"It's not a question of clearance level, Milady," the archivist explained politely. "Those records simply aren't here. The copy you've requested was sealed by order of the Third Hokage and handed over to Root for disposal."
Tsunade frowned.
That fateful night had marked the dissolution of the Root training division and the removal of Shimura Danzō as its head, so it wasn't as though it were particularly strange that he'd received a copy of his own dismissal notice… but why on earth had Sarutobi-sensei ordered the other copies destroyed, if it wasn't that important?
Obviously, getting Danzō to hand over those documents would be far harder than trying to wrestle Naruto away from his cup ramen, so it was pointless to even attempt it. Besides, asking would only alert him to the fact that she was prying into his shady affairs.
"Fine, then," snapped Tsunade. "Fetch me the records of all ANBU known to be KIA or to have gone MIA across the last nine years. Bring 'em to me as you find 'em."
The archivist tilted her head in acknowledgement and rose from her seat, vanishing into the gloomy depths of the long rows of filing cabinets behind her. A loud buzzing above drew Tsunade's attention: a particularly large fly kept bumping against the glass of the neon ceiling light.
The light flickered ominously.
…
Tsunade tapped her sandaled foot impatiently. What was taking that woman so long? A good five minutes had gone by already, when suddenly, the door to the corridor outside flew open with a bang.
"Lady Tsunade, I've finally found you!" Asuma's voice rang out behind her. "Forgive me, but this is a matter of life or death! Please, you must approve my request to take Kurenai and Team 8 on a search-and-rescue mission for Chiriku!"
Asuma and the Fire Temple monk Chiriku had formed a lasting friendship during their time in the Twelve Guardian Ninja group who protected the Daimyō, back before the organisation was disbanded. Since Chiriku had gone missing during the diplomatic visit to Manyū Village on behalf of the Land of Fire, Asuma felt honour-bound to check whether Kakashi and his students had overlooked some crucial clue.
"Look, Asuma, I know this matter is very important to you," Tsunade said calmly, swallowing her frustration. "But I can't send an entire team on a wild-goose chase when we're already shorthanded. Besides, the Fire Temple has sent a few men to search for him, so your help really isn't—"
Thump.
Tsunade and Asuma looked in the direction of the noise. It sounded like something had fallen to the floor, towards the back of the rows of filing cabinets. Asuma craned his neck, but he saw nothing particularly suspicious.
"Everything okay back there?" Tsunade called out.
No response. The only sound to be heard was the soft, omnipresent hum of the neon lights.
Feeling increasingly apprehensive, Tsunade walked around the archivist's desk and down the rows of filing cabinets, glancing left and right— and nearly tripped over something soft. She looked down and froze: the archivist lay before her, purple-faced yet still warm, her glassy eyes staring unblinkingly into Tsunade's.
"ASUMA!" yelled Tsunade. "ENEMY ATTACK!"
Without warning, the lights went out, plunging them into absolute darkness. The hum of the neon lights had vanished, the conspicuousness of its absence almost deafening.
"Hang on, I've got a lighter," said Asuma's disembodied voice. "Always knew smoking would save my life one day."
The snap of the lid popping open rang out, followed by the clicking of the wheel striking the flint, and finally the whoosh of the flame springing to life. Asuma's flickering face appeared briefly in the darkness, lit up by the flame dancing in his palm.
"There!" shouted Tsunade, hearing a noise coming from the other side of the filing cabinets she and Asuma were standing by. "I've got you now, you cowardly little rat!"
Tsunade's fingers curled into a fist. She summoned her Chakra Enhanced Strength and struck, sending the nearest filing cabinet skidding backwards. It toppled over the figure who had made the noise, crushing them beneath with a sickening crunch and a cry of pain.
"Gah!"
Asuma's lighter went spinning out of his grasp, casting twisting shadows before the flame finally went out, plunging them again into complete darkness.
"Asuma, talk to me!" shouted Tsunade. "Are you— ouch!"
Something had just pricked her in the neck; a bug of some kind, given the buzzing noise she'd heard moments before she'd felt its stinger. Within seconds, Tsunade started getting woozy.
"Poishon?" Tsunade gasped, her words slurring as her throat constricted and her tongue swelled.
There was no time to concoct an antidote. She needed to get out of here before the unknown toxin took full effect and her mysterious assailants finished the job. Without hesitation, she grabbed a filing cabinet, flexed her muscles, and hurled it at the ceiling with all her strength, piercing a hole through which the light of day streamed in.
Tsunade staggered, the effort hastening the poison's spread through her bloodstream. Her vision narrowed, and she crumpled into a heap beneath the falling debris. Relief surged through her mind as Guy's familiar face appeared before her, the last thing she saw before her consciousness left her.
The most reliable ninja under her command had finally returned from his mission!