I ended up spending pretty much the rest of the summer inside of the time compression room, which meant my summer was probably about a month longer than everyone else's, just studying, researching and working on building my latest project with the occasional bout against Paddy to get some exercise in. I briefly wondered how old I was now, four-plus years' worth of use of this place should have added up to quite a lot of time. If I'd guess I was biologically sixteen, maybe sixteen and a half. Hard to tell.
I'd probably be around eigteen before my seventh year. That was gonna feel a bit weird.
And then September first rolled around and life returned to the castle. I didn't bother going down to the opening feast, as had been my habit since the second year here. There really weren't any point of me going down there, I had no interest in the first years coming in and Paddy could cook a better meal then all the elves at Hogwarts thanks to his frequent trips into the normal world to observe cooks there practice their craft.
Knowing that Paddy was well aware of what molecular gastronomy was still had me smiling, he didn't call it that of course, but that was what it was, only with a magical twist at the end. The result could be both interesting and explosive, and highly profitable in one instance. I smiled a bit at that memory as I carefully adjusted a dial on the microscope to get a closer view of my work.
I started my Monday bright and early, went through my classes of the day and then retired back to my room without anything in particular happening. Tugwood had been eying me over the shrubbery during glorified gardening class but hadn't approached. A surprising development. Probably meant there was something coming down the pipe for later, or she might have given up. One could hope. I ruthlessly stopped down on the little voice in the back of my head that insisted that it felt good to have a pretty girl fawning over me.
I was thankfully distracted by someone almost kicking my door off its hinges. "Hey, watch the door!"
"Eh, stop your bellyaching!" Lys distinct voice called out to be before the blond dwarf stomped her way into my workshop. I noticed that she'd forgone her usual ponytail in favor of eight tick braids that bounced against her back as she walked. They actually looked pretty good on her. She was holding a simple wooden chest with iron fittings in her hands.
"Easy to say when it ain't your door," I complained.
Lys was unrepentant and didn't even deign to give me a look as she stomped over to one of the tables around where I was working and setting down her load before turning to me. And stared.
I waved. But not with my hand.
"What the effin hell are those!?" She cried out and pointed towards the four tentacle-like things that were projecting out from under my robes on my back. They were a bright white color and while they mostly looked like traditional tentacles, save the lack of suction cups, they did end in what could be generously called a hand, in truth, it was just a fleshy looking disk with three knoblike one-inch 'fingers'. They were about as thick as a woman's arm at their thickets and could extend to a length of about ten feet thanks to an expanded space located in the thin backpack-like harness under my robes.
"They are my Squidwards," I told her proudly. "Like em?"
"Hell no!" Was her emphatic reply.
"Aw come on, they are awesome!" I said enthusiastically and extended the Squidward's out to their full length and made them wiggle around me.
Lys looked disgusted. "Don't do that."
"Come on, give us a hug!" I said gleefully, advancing on her slowly.
Lys darted away from me with a shudder. "You touch me and I'll shove that glowy orb up your backside, don't think I won't!"
"Oh, kinky, my safe word is Bandersnatch!"
"That's disgusting!" The half-dwarf hissed while slapping a tentacle away with a wrench she had produced from somewhere. Hammerspace? Hah!
I stood up straight and polished by fingernails against my robe in a mock dignified manner. "I've been known to partake every now and again."
"You think you're funny, but you're not," Lys told me darkly.
"I'm hilarious!" I told her confidently. "You should have seen your face."
"I'll show you your face after I've shoved my fist through it!" She threatened while waving her wrench at me.
I looked at it dubiously before smiling. "I don't think you can reach that high."
"Perhaps I should aim for something lower then." She growled trustingly.
I gave her a smug smile and wiggled my Squidward at her. "You have to get close to do that. Come on. Give daddy a hug."
"You… are a pig." She stated flatly.
I puffed out my chest. "Oink!"
Lys gave me a flat unimpressed look that girls everywhere had given to boys through the ages to underscore what a disappointment they were. "Do you have to be such a… boy?"
I nodded enthusiastically. "Things get confusing if I don't. And I don't want the government to force a sex change on me."
Lys gave me a dubious look. "What are you babbling about?"
"Not important, those horrors are a long way away. Be grateful." I said in mock horror.
We kinda just stood there for a few moments, quietly, while Lys gave me a flat expressionless look. Then she just sighed. "You're cracked in the head."
"Right down the middle," I confirmed agreeably.
What are those things for anyway?" Lys asked after a few more moments of silence.
I shrugged. "I figured they'd come in handy if I needed to handle cursed items, poisonous substances, and venomous animals. Better to melt them than blow a hand off… or worse." I shuddered. "Anyway, you can't tell me you've never wished you had an extra pair of hands when you'd tried to do something finicky?"
Lys looked reluctantly interested. "Do they have to look like that?"
"Not really. I just figured it would creep people out." I told her honestly causing her to roll her eyes at me.
"You are unbelievable." Lys groaned in defeat before moving a bit closer and grabbing one of my Squidward.
I chuckled lightly. "You really need to learn how to unbend, Shortstack."
"Don't call me Shortstack, idiot," Lys grunted absently
I smircked at her "No can do!"
Lys just sighed again. "Whatever you say, Beanstalk. How are you controlling these things anyway?"
"With mah MIIIIIND!" I exclaimed enthusiastically while putting my forefingers to my temples.
Lys paid my antics no mind. It seems I hit the saturation point "Uhuh, but really…"
"That's pretty much it; I just used the broom charm on it," I told her. I shrugged my shoulders again and made my squidwards wiggle about me with a thought.
Lys looked at me questionably. "The broom charm."
"Well, it's more the broom control charm. It's perfect for these sorts of things. A fuckin' amazing thing really. There really isn't a broom charm that isn't ridiculously useful." I smiled nostalgically. I remember the first time I read about the broom. I'd almost squeed. That first scene, god, it was so amazing. "Up!" I giggled insanely.
Lys looked frustrated at me. "What are you talking about?"
"Seriously?" I asked her incredulously, at her nod I face-palmed. "You haven't ever thought about how you steer a broom?"
"Yes, you steer it," Lys responded flatly.
I briefly considered that she might be fucking with me. Didn't look like it though. "Unbelievable… don't tell me you think you steer it by pushing on the shaft…"
Lys shrugged, looking indifferent. I rolled my eyes and sighed. I suppose I deserved that. "What is the first thing that the flight instructor tells you to do when you start with the broom?"
Lys merely raised a questioning eyebrow, "What does it matter?"
I studied the shorter girl for a moment before pursing my lips. "You are being intentionally obtuse and difficult, aren't you?"
"Maybe…" Lys responded languidly.
We eyeballed one another before I nodded resolutely. "Well played."
"Thank you." She said primly.
"Okay, back to my exposition. A broom is of course controlled by one's mind. The first exercise has the purpose of teaching the child how to focus on the broom correctly, after which controlling a broom is easy. In my case, I just applied the same charm to these fellas in conjunction with a simple animation charm. Very simple in the face of it. Though I discovered that moving them and moving myself was a bit much to ask for so I gave it a rudimentary mind of its own so I could simply communicate my intent and it does the rest." I explained at length. I admit, I was rather proud of that last part, and I once again congratulated myself for having the foresight to study how they made magical paintings. Best idea I ever had and it was one that just kept paying off! I was starting to think there was nothing that couldn't be improved by just adding a mind to it. Now I just needed to figure out how to create a Genus Loci and I'd hit the apex.
Lys frowned thoughtfully. "I didn't know it was possible to do that. I've never heard of anyone else being able to directly send something to an enchanted object like that."
"The sorting hat." I reminded her.
"No one knows what charms the founders used on that thing." Lys countered immediately. "They never revealed the secret."
I nodded with a smile. "Indeed… well, not while they were alive that is." At Lys dubious look I continued. "Tell me, have you heard The Tale of the Three Brothers?"