"I appreciate your candor, Master, but I know there's more to what you're saying and also what you're worried about than you're letting off," she said plaintively. "Picked up on that from Thoma, did we?" Taegin chuckled lightly, rubbing the back of his neck.
He even looks like him when he does that, too. Strange… her thoughts trailed off.
"Well, given what happened with Irun a few months back, we're just trying to take as many precautions as we can to prevent something similar from happening again," he said, interrupting her already distant thoughts of Thoma. "I see. In that case, I can put your mind at ease quickly. The pain and struggles we all have faced because of his actions will not be repeated by my hand," she said, furrowing her brows in determination.
She's grown a lot, Taegin smiled.
"Good, I'm both glad and relieved to hear that. However, Pyle has told me he's noticed, on more than one occasion I might add, that you still rub your ears as if they were foreign to you. Does being half-dwarf affect you that greatly still?" he said, trying not to sound impolite.
She mulled over the words for a moment before answering, and shook her head. "No, but I do feel a little bit like an outcast here," she said, her tone dropping a little. "What do you mean an outcast? Has anyone not been welcoming to you here?" he asked, genuine concern in his voice. "No, no. Not like that. I mean, we have Nenvalur's people here as well as some of Master Pyle's," she began, glancing off to the side and down as she said it.
"But even with all the diversity in this place, I'm the only half-dwarf. No one here can really relate to being so different from everyone else by that much. The others all have things they can relate to, but I was all but born into slavery and servitude, and have been through a lot as a result," she sniffled, wiping away a stray tear. Taegin just listened quietly, and leaned his elbows on the table, folding his fingers together.
"I just don't feel like anyone here can really understand what it is I'm going through. Being the only different one in such a far-off place from my homeland, and training to become something I was likely never meant to be is not easy. I just wanted to be stronger, and less afraid. Now? Now, I have all these questions about my past; ones I'll likely never get answers for, that is," she said, tears running freely down her face.
Taegin pulled a handkerchief from the corner of the desk, and handed it to her. She wiped her tears away, and made sure her nose wasn't dripping anymore. "Keep it. You have more use for it now than I ever have," Taegin said warmly. "Thank you, Master," she said in a stuffy voice.
"If it is of any consolation, I would like you to know that you're not alone when it comes to being different, as you so put it," Taegin began. "There are those here who have housed secrets for decades, ones they will likely take to the grave. Others have intricate pasts of their own. Irun, as shitty of an example as it is, was half-Harutian by blood and nationality," he continued.
I would've never guessed that. He didn't look even remotely Harutian to me, she thought.
"However, that didn't stop him from integrating fairly well with everyone around him. Yes, he was a hot-headed junior, but whether he admitted it or not, I could tell he cared deeply for his comrades, and they for him," he said. "But then why did Irun betray us all? It makes no sense if he was as integrated as you say he was," Meliss asked.
Taegin paused for a few moments. "Evil is a strange thing," he began after a few breaths. "It can lead some to embrace it as their own to fulfill a need one thinks they have, or force others into hiding forever behind a veil few get to see behind; frayed and scarred for the rest of their lives," he said, reaching into his jerkin, and pulling out a pendant similar to Bernar's.
Meliss looked at it carefully, noticing the intricate pattern like a metallic vine wrapped around a golden sphere that swirled at its center. Then, without another word, he took the chain off from around his neck, and placed the pendant on the table.
Wait, what the…? She thought, looking up from the table.
"Surprising, isn't it? What a little evil will push someone to do," Taegin said with a warm smile, his voice no longer raspy. His voice wasn't the only thing that had changed, however, as the wrinkles of his skin had disappeared, making him look more like he was in his thirties than his actual age. His ears, now pointed like Siraye's, helped to smooth back his steel-colored hair. Nevertheless, the pendant couldn't hide everything, as the scar on the left side of his face remained.
By the Graces, he's handsome. Waaaait, no. No. NO! She thought as her intrusive thoughts began to whirr.
"Y-you're an elf?" she said, trying her best to keep her tone hushed and calm. He chuckled, and nodded his head. "I am, and full-blooded at that. However, that is not important right now. What is important is that you understand that we're all outcasts in our own ways, some of us are just better at hiding it than others. Still, that should be no reason for you to feel left out in any way," he said, putting the pendant back on and reverting his features back to normal.
"Why did you do it? Why hide who you are?" she asked, after shaking her head clear of racing thoughts. "Why? Why does anyone do anything, I wonder?" he asked, putting a finger to his chin. "My reason was to protect my family, though that is not a story for today, let alone one I'm allowed to say at this current point in time," he said, conclusively.
The Master has a family? Gods above and below, how much do I not know about this man? Actually, how much does anyone know about him? She thought, rubbing the back of her neck.
"In any case, I just want you to know that what you're feeling in regards to that is normal. Pyle, I heard, already told you what you needed to know about training, so I won't say it again here," he said, leaning back in his chair.
"Is that why you brought me here? To show me this?" she gestured to the imaginary pendant on her own body. "A little trust and a change of perspective can go a long way, don't you think?" he asked with a wry smile on his face.
A change of perspective, huh? Oh, Thoma, she thought, immediately seeing his smiling face in her mind's eye, bringing up feelings she'd ignored for some time.
"Thank you, Master, for trusting me with that secret. I'll keep it safe, so don't worry about that," she said, getting up from her chair and bowing in respect. "I'd hope so, for both our sakes," he said, that same warm smile from before across his face again.
But why does it look… pained, or forced this time? she thought.
"Oh, Meliss?" Taegin called out from behind his desk, just before she opened the door. "Yes, Master?" she turned to face him once more. "I'd recommend talking to Edryd. I feel that conversation might prove… helpful, if nothing else," he said, the same, pained smile on his face again. Meliss nodded her agreement, feeling another small shift in her emotions. "I will. Good evening to you, Master," she said, closing the door behind her.
That's going to hurt. I'm so sorry, Thoma, Taegin thought, looking up at the ceiling and pushing a heavy sigh through his cheeks.
As Meliss walked down the cool, stone halls, she went over everything she had seen. Tagin's reveal as an elf had certainly shaken her, forming a small bubble of anxiety where the secret lay.
Gods above and below, my mind is absolutely full of questions. Why did he entrust me with a secret of that level, anyway? She thought, scratching the back of her head.
She continued down the halls, and out into the courtyard that separated the male from the female dormitories. As she stepped outside, she noticed that there was still some time before the sun was fully down, the golden light shining on the distant, titanic mountains. "Beautiful, isn't it?" a familiar voice snapped her out of wherever her mind had taken her.
She turned to see Edryd who was seemingly about to go for an evening walk alone, dressed in a loose-fitting linen shirt with drawstrings near the base of the neck, and trousers that didn't resemble pajamas nor formal attire.
"Yes, it's quite beautiful. I don't think I'd ever get tired of seeing a good sunset," she said, looking off towards the mountain range. "Well, I know a spot where we can see it better, and the best part is that it's not that far from here. Wanna go?" he asked in an unassuming tone.
Helpful conversation, right? She thought, recalling the Master's words.
"Of course. By all means, lead the way," she said, taking the extended arm held out before her. They made idle conversation about mundane and benign things like the weather as they walked a little ways toward the cave where Thoma had slain the ochelons, taking the path that shot off to the right. The path bent and weaved between countless gold and orange-leaved trees, accenting the light of the afternoon sun. "It's just over here," Ed pointed just ahead of them to a massive, lonely rock.
"How did this thing get here?" she asked, staring up at the massive boulder that seemingly surpassed the height of the trees. "No one but the Master knows that, and he won't tell us how or why this thing is here," he said, shrugging his shoulders. "He did show us these, though," he pointed to what looked like hand-holds and steps carved into the stone face with mana.
"Come on, we've gotta get up there," he said, pointing upwards. "Up there? Are you sure?" she asked, glancing at him with a raised eyebrow. "Would I lie to my best friend's girlfriend?" he said, mimicking her expression.
"Tell you what, since I've done this a lot, I'll go first. If you don't want to climb it, you don't have to, but at least shout your decision up to me, okay? That way, I'm not going to be sitting up there alone and confused as fuck," he said playfully, patting her forearm that was still linked around his. "Don't worry, I'll let you know," she chuckled heartily.
I haven't laughed like that in months, she thought.