He dug his hands and feet into the holes provided and began to climb with expert agility. "See you at the top," he said, turning as much as he could to show her a toothy grin. When he was out of sight above the canopy, she began her own ascent. "I'm coming up!" she shouted, almost forgetting to do so before making the climb.
The moss that had grown in the handholds of the rock was both a blessing and a curse, as her hands weren't getting cut up but her feet felt like they could slip at any moment. Reaching the top, she saw his hand extended out to her and took it. The pair grunted as they pulled on each other to reach the top, but he forgot to lessen their force when she reached the ledge, causing her to fall on top of him. "S-s-so sorry! I sh-should've… uh…" he stammered, realizing her chest was now pressed against his bare stomach.
Glick mouths, dead babies, grandma's wooden leg! Just think of something gross, please! Wait, grandma's fake leg did look a little like a pe… his thought's trailed and his face contorted into one of shock and disgust.
She chuckled and brushed a lock of hair from her face. "What's with the face? Am I too heavy for you?" she asked playfully. "Y-you know d-damn well that's n-not it," Edryd said, fighting for his life. "I know, dummy. I'm just teasing you," she chuckled, pushing herself off of him and out of the awkward position as her hand passed over his pelvis.
Thoma, please don't kill me and ignore this transgression of brotherhood, Ed thought, sweat pouring down his cheek as he imagined his best friend finding out about their situation.
Getting into a seated position, she looked at the colorful, leafy ocean before her, accented by the golden rays that bore through the distant clouds. "Alright, I've got to hand it to you, Ed. This really is beautiful," she said, pursing her lip and nodding her head slowly as she looked around. "Y-yeah. It really is, isn't it? I feel like this is something the Master must have used back in the day to woo the ladies," he said awkwardly, shifting into a similar seated position.
"Woo? You mean, courting?" she asked. "Y-yes. Courting. Uh-huh!" he nodded sharply a few times. "I guess I wouldn't know much about that. All I've known, since before Thoma anyway, was just one noble or other ordering me to do things I didn't want to. I learned more about being physical than emotional back then, so it's always been difficult for me to deal with things like that," she said matter-of-factly.
Edryd's face soured. "Those bastards would do that to you? It's a good thing you met Thoma, then! Well, about as good as it could be, given the circumstances back then and all," he said, scrunching the corner of his mouth into his cheek.
"That's just it, though, Ed," she began, but paused for a breath. "I… I'm grateful for him, and everything he's done. Truly, I am. He's shown me so much love, care, and attention that I don't know if I deserve, much less whether I could ever repay it. By the Graces, I'm not sure I'd even know where to start," she said, shaking her head and looking away.
"But…" he said, looking at her distant expression. "How did you know there was a but? Are you reading my mind?" she asked, finally turning to face him. "No, but your teary eyes are telling me much more than you realize," he began.
"Thoma, believe it or not, is a totally useless fucking crybaby when he's distraught. I know a dejected, hopeless look when I see one, and yours, right now, is no different than his," he continued, thinning his lips and tilting his head a little to the side.
Cheeky little shit, she thought, allowing herself a half-chuckle.
"Fine. There is a but, but I don't know how I can even say this without sounding like a worthless worm," she said. "Just get it out of your system, then. It's what we do all the time, but we've resorted to the extreme, unbridled use of profanity to ease the release of those pent up feelings," he said, chuckling lightly while she wiped away a stray tear. "Second time today," she said under her breath, while Ed watched her closely.
She took a moment to gather her thoughts, breathing deeply before she began to speak. "I-I almost feel that mine and Thoma's relationship was more out of convenience than anything genuinely romantic. The longer he's away, and the more knowledge I gain about myself, and the world around me, the less I feel attached to him," she said, tears rolling down her face.
Ed whistled critically, and took in a deep breath through his nose. "Now that was not what I was expecting," he said, running his fingers through the side of his hair. "I know, okay? I know how that sounds, but I swear, it doesn't have anything to do with him," she said, her tone far more laced with anger than anything else.
"I didn't say anything. I was actually gonna let you explain that one. This is my best friend we're talking about, after all," he said calmly. "Thank you. I mean it. It's just, ever since that first day in Coltend Castle, I knew he was different. The way he looked at me was genuine, kind, and cute as hell," she said, recalling his face as they left the castle.
"But when I saw him again up in the North on our way to Fangsdalr, and sat behind him on the horse, it just felt right. I couldn't explain it, but it was like there was a light at the end of the tunnel of shit I had been through in my life," she paused, plucking a stray leaf from her hair. "What happened, then? What has changed since he's gone to Caegwen?" Ed asked.
"It's difficult to explain. Maybe during this time away from each other, I realized that my past would always be there and that being with me wouldn't be worth his time, or love, for that matter. I know he says he loves and misses me in his letters, and that he can't wait to come home but… I just don't feel it's right for me to do that to him. He's pure, kind-hearted, and strong-willed like no other, but I can't do that to him. I can't ruin his life like that. My past is too damaged for that to work out well in the long run," she said, tears flowing down her cheeks and onto her lap.
What the fuck did I just get saddled with? This isn't just going to hurt him; it's going to break him, Ed thought, putting a hand on her shuddering back to help ease her sobbing.
"Listen, I know Thoma better than most. If he says that he wants to be with you, he does. There isn't much that could change his mind. I know that, and he knows that," he began, gazing off into the distance. "Then what the hell do I do?" Meliss asked between a pair of sobs.
"I don't know much about love, or anything romantic for that matter, but I do know this: Fighting a one-sided battle isn't going to be fair for anyone. If you truly don't feel the same way you did before and you don't see a way back or out other than ending things, then so be it. But, whatever you decide to do and however you decide to do it, the only thing I will ask of you is that you let him down easily," Edryd said with a heavy heart.
Meliss paused for a few moments, taking it all in and letting her emotions run freely for a little while. The sun began to creep behind the peaks of the mountains, casting their final, dying rays upon the golden countryside.
"I have to let him go, Ed," she finally said with a single, firm nod as if hardening her emotions. "I have to make sure he lives a life that he deserves, even though I don't think I'm a part of it anymore," she said, wiping away a stray tear with the back of her sleeve. Edryd shook his head. "You're an idiot if you think you're not going to be a part of his life anymore," he said, letting the words hang in the silence between them.
"You think he'll try to keep me in his life?" she asked, a half-scoff leaking through her teeth. "If you explain what's going on in full, I'm sure he'll be understanding, even if it breaks his heart. That, however, doesn't mean that he'll just expel you from his life, no. If I know Thoma as well as I think I do, he'll find a way to be your friend, even knowing he'll never be with you romantically," Edryd explained, giving her a warm smile and shaking her shoulder.
Meliss sighed heavily, and shook her head. "By the Graces, this is about to hurt, isn't it?" she asked. "Yeah. Yeah, it is," he replied, giving her a thin lipped smile. "Will you help me write it, then? You know him best, and I think it would be helpful to have it written properly, rather than having me word-vomit all over a piece of parchment," she said, a tinge of resignation in her voice, as if she had already succumbed to the numb feeling she once used so often.
"Of course I will," he replied with a heavy nod.