So yeah.
I died.
And no, it wasn't cool. No blaze of glory, no final words, no epic anime outro. One second I was alive — tired, old, but breathing — and the next… nothing.
I do remember my past life.
It was... eventful, I guess?
I fought in a war. Made it out in one piece, more or less.
Found peace in dumb stuff like anime, manga, and binging shonen while eating microwave noodles.
Was it a great life?
No.
But it was mine. And I was still in the middle of it.
So imagine my surprise when I wake up to this.
An endless white void.
No sky, no floor. Just… nothing. And yet, somehow, everything. The kind of place that makes you question whether you still have pants on.
I looked around, blinking, trying to grasp the scale of it. It was huge. Quiet. Empty.
Then it wasn't.
A pulse ran through the void like a heartbeat. The air shimmered, and space itself cracked open like glass.
Out of the break slithered a shape.
A dragon.
Not like Shenron, no. This one was… different. Older. Bigger. More real, somehow. The kind of dragon that didn't grant wishes — it gave commands.
Massive, with scales that shimmered like galaxies and eyes that held the weight of stars. It looked at me. Not through me. At me.
I stood there like an idiot. "Ah," the dragon rumbled, its voice echoing in all directions and none. "A new soul. And right after Finn, too. This is going to be interesting. Get up."
I blinked. "...Who the fuck is Finn?"
The dragon snorted, actual stardust spilling from its nostrils. "No one important. Yet. And language, please. This is a sacred place."
I squinted. "Where is here, exactly?"
The dragon tilted its head. "Call it… the Transfer Chamber. Where lives are sorted. And yours, my spirited little mortal, has been tagged for relocation."
"Relocation?" I repeated. "I'm not dead-dead?"
"Technically? You're done with your old life. But lucky you, I'm in the mood for reincarnation."
My heart sank. "Reincarnation as in... 'start over as a beetle' kind of thing? Or...?"
"Oh no," the dragon said, grinning now — which was terrifying. "I'm sending you somewhere fun. Think of it as a game. A challenge. A reset."
I didn't like that tone.
"...Where?"
The dragon chuckled, and it wasn't the comforting kind. It was the "I'm a cosmic being and this is hilarious to me" kind of chuckle. "Which world indeed," it said, tail lazily coiling around itself. "This will decide your fate."
With a flick of one massive claw, two gigantic spinning wheels materialized in the void.
They dropped from the nothingness like a broken game show.
Each one glowed with bizarre symbols, names, and even a few... memes?
I stared.
"Is this… like a fanfic or something?"
The dragon gave me a mischievous grin that made my skin crawl. "Oh, come on. Spin the wheel. Let's see which reality you're headed to."
Because obviously spinning a wheel decides the metaphysical direction of your soul. Cool. Normal day.
I walked up to the first wheel. The symbols shifted and shimmered like a bad acid trip, with names like "Super", "GT", "AF", "Heroes", "Online MMO Version", "Abridged", and — God help me — "Live-Action Movie."
I took a deep breath and gave it a spin.
It whirled violently, like a blender set to "cosmic soup," until it slowly ticked to a stop. A glowing golden word appeared in front of me: "Dragon Ball Model: All"
I blinked. "All?"
My eyes narrowed. "What does that mean? All what?"
The dragon actually laughed now — a deep, rumbling, galaxy-shaking sound. "Are you familiar," it said, clearly savoring every word, "with GT, Dragon Ball Z Abridged, Dragon Ball AF, Super, Heroes, Xenoverse, the Card Game lore, the cellphone game timelines, and the multiverse tournament arcs that make no sense whatsoever?"
My brain stalled. Then the meaning hit me like a truck.
Or more accurately, like a truck full of filler arcs crashing into a timeline that never had a chance. "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me."
"Nope," the dragon said, voice filled with way too much joy. "You'll be experiencing all of it. Canon, non-canon, fanon, and whatever else some fanfic writer cooked up in their basement. The whole Dragon Ball buffet."
I took a deep breath, tried not to scream, and muttered: "It can't get worse."
The dragon leaned down, grinning. "It could've been the SCP Universe. Or Evangelion. So… count your blessings."
Then another wheel dropped next to the first — this one filled with faces. Hundreds. Maybe thousands.
Every Dragon Ball character you could imagine, from Raditz's hair to Zalama's eyebrows.
This was it. My identity.
I hesitated.
Then, with the strength of a man who accepted nothing made sense anymore, I reached out and spun it.
The wheel turned.
And turned.
And turned.
And finally stopped.
I read the name.
I closed my eyes.
I opened them again, just in case I was hallucinating.
"…Yamcha."
The dragon blinked.
"…What did you do in your past life?"
The dragon tilted its head at me, amused. "Are you okay?"
I just stood there. Still. Silent. Staring at the glowing word above the wheel like it was a death sentence written in Comic Sans.
"…Yamcha," I repeated numbly. "I got Yamcha."
The dragon nodded slowly, voice gentle like it was talking to someone who had just learned their pet exploded.
"Indeed. Classic Yamcha."
I didn't respond.
He leaned closer. "You're… blinking a lot. That's normal. Internal screaming, is it?"
Still no answer.
"…Would you like a moment? Maybe a—"
"Yamcha!?" I finally snapped. "You gave me Yamcha?! Out of EVERYONE?!"
The dragon looked entirely unapologetic.
"You spun the wheel."
"Spin it again!"
"No."
"Please!"
"No rerolls. That's divine policy. Besides, Yamcha's an underrated pick."
I pointed at the wheel, seething. "I saw Gogeta fly by like five frames before it stopped! You couldn't even give me Yajirobe? At least he has snacks!"
The dragon gave me the cosmic equivalent of a shrug. "You got Yamcha. Human. Desert bandit. Pro baseball player. Dead by episode five."
"Thanks! That really helps."
"Hey, on the bright side," the dragon added, trying to sound encouraging, "at least you're not Chiaotzu."
I dropped to my knees. "I fought in a war. I survived a war. I watched all of Naruto. I deserve better than this."
The dragon's claws tapped the edge of the void. "And yet... Yamcha."
I looked up slowly. "Is there at least… a cheat? Some power-up? Something to help me not explode five minutes in?"
The dragon's grin widened. "Ah. Now you're asking the right questions."
Another Wheel, came to realty, as the Dragon smirked.
The dragon turned to me, a hint of amusement in its gaze. "Oh, looks like the Wheel of Powers is fixed. After a certain someone broke it."
In the multiverse, a particular version of Charlemagne—suddenly sneezed, causing a ripple of energy to spread through the air. The dragon cast a sidelong glance at him, clearly unimpressed.
"Alright, spin the wheel and see what powers you'll get," the dragon said, gesturing to a new wheel that materialized beside me.
I looked at the wheel, and my heart raced. It displayed an array of incredible abilities—from the powers of The One Above All from Marvel to broken techniques like Full Counter and even the abilities of Grand Servants from Fate/Grand Order. Each one was more enticing than the last.
"Come on, come on…" I muttered under my breath, hoping for something truly epic.
I spun the wheel, watching the colors blur together. It slowed down and finally stopped, landing on the word System. My brow furrowed. "System? What type of System?"
Before I could ponder it further, the wheel spun again, landing on another word.
I stared at the new term. "Wait… Cultivation System: Mode Ki? Like those Chinese web novels and comics?"
The dragon nodded enthusiastically. "Exactly! You'll be able to cultivate your ki, growing stronger over time just like the heroes you know from those stories. You'll have access to various techniques and transformations, making you a formidable opponent."
I just signed as he spoken. "Will, it instead so bad..... Why are you quite".
The dragon, for once, went quiet.
Suspiciously quiet.
Like "your dog knocked over a vase but is pretending to nap" kind of quiet.
I narrowed my eyes.
"...Why are you quiet?"
The dragon coughed, clearly hiding laughter behind a claw. "Oh, no reason. Just thinking how poetic this all is."
"Poetic?! I just got isekai'd into Yamcha and my only upgrade is bootleg Daoist yoga!"
"It's not bootleg," he said, mildly offended. "It's a fully integrated Cultivation System: Mode Ki™, with multiversal optimization, cosmic synergy, and self-aware snark engine."
I blinked. "…Snark engine?"
The dragon grinned, way too pleased. "It has a built-in companion modeled after a certain Great Sage. With… extra flavor."
As he spoke, the air shimmered again — and something popped into existence behind me with a cheery jingle:
["Heeey, host! I'm Sage-Pai, your new partner in suffering spiritual growth and not exploding like a loser!"]
I turned slowly.
Floating there was… was that a glowing, bobbing chibi spirit orb with a smug anime face and a tiny pair of aviators?
["We're gonna have a great time! I'll guide you through cultivation stages, insult your progress, and make sure you don't die before the first arc ends!"
"Probably."]
"…I hate you already."
"Great! That means we're bonded!"
The dragon chuckled again, clearly thrilled with himself. "Well then. You've got your body, your world, your fate… and now your system."
I sighed. "Can I at least get a manual?"
["No. That's part of the journey."]
["No worries!" Sage-Pai chimed in. "I'll yell helpful things at you in life-threatening situations!"
"Like 'DUCK' or 'THIS ISN'T A FILLER ARC ANYMORE'."]
I ran both hands through my spectral hair, already regretting everything.
"So just to recap…" I muttered. "I've been forcibly reincarnated into a character who dies like, immediately… I'm stuck in a world that includes every possible Dragon Ball timeline, including Abridged… and my only edge is a cultivation system voiced by a sentient TikTok filter."
The dragon gave me a cosmic thumbs-up. "Correct. Best of luck, Yamcha 2.0. May your path be enlightening—"
"And short," Sage-Pai whispered.
"—and not immediately fatal."
The void cracked.
My vision filled with golden light.
And then—
[SYSTEM INSTALLATION COMPLETE
Host Identity: Yamcha – Earthling (Early Z Timeline)
System: Cultivation System – Mode Ki
Spiritual Core Initialized. Meridians Stable. Snark Engine Online.
Launching... Dragon Ball: All Model]
To be continued
Hope people like this Ch and give me power stones