'From a distance, it's a comedy; up close, it's a tragedy.'
A rather famous line, and one that has personally resonated with me these past few years. That's my life as a civil servant in a nutshell.
From afar, I might look like a thug wielding the absolute power of public authority, but up close, I'm nothing more than a pitiful middle manager getting squeezed from above and trampled from below. It's true that Imperial civil servants wield tremendous authority. But when you look around, such civil servants are a dime a dozen. Yeah, it's dog shit.
What good is a prestigious family background or a high rank? Above me, there are dukes and ministers holding their ground. Even if you achieve the holy trinity of ability, heaven-sent luck, and connections to reach the pinnacle of the civil service, you still can't let your guard down. The Imperial Family exists above even that. And overthrow the Imperial Family? That's a perfect recipe for three generations of your family to have a forced reunion in the afterlife.
That's why life as a civil servant is so dismal. Superiors who only know how to squeeze you, peers competing for promotion, subordinates climbing up at a terrifying pace. In that situation, even if you handle your work well, you barely break even, and if you mess up, you naturally get beaten down. Ah, it's all so terrifying!
"Director. The Minister says if you don't get your ass over there right now, he'll kill you."
Case in point. My brutally vicious direct superior doesn't hesitate to make threatening remarks to a poor, frail civil servant.
"Tell him I deeply regret this incident and will resign."
"Didn't you use that one last time, sir? An inkwell went flying—it was no joke."
"Was that the one?"
I glance out the window. The howling rain and wind seem to express my shattered composure. Strange, weather manipulation mages are rare...
"Is he very angry?"
"Same as usual."
"So he's fucking furious."
Sometimes it's almost pitiful. With that much anger, he'll die young. The Deputy Director, who had been informing me of the Minister's current state, silently nodded at my small mutter.
Yeah, you've got it rough too, playing messenger.
"I'll be back. Summon all the Section Chiefs."
"Return alive, sir."
"Right."
Leaving the Deputy Director's send-off behind, I moved my heavy feet. Even though I'm a Director and not in a position where I have to come and go at someone's beck and call, the one summoning me happens to be the Minister. I really hope one of us—either that man or me—retires soon.
"How the fuck do you do your job!"
"I'm sorry! I'm sorryyyyy!"
The moment I trudged into the Minister's Office, shouting rang out, followed by an instinctive head-banging bow. Today was the same as always.
Well, shitty as hell.