〜Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline〜
Watching Uncle B blowing up streets everywhere, Emiya Shirou turned his head with a stiff expression:
"Illya, to be honest… does the Einzbern family still have enough cash reserves?"
One pier, two streets, plus a department store. Just thinking about the total amount made his vision go dark. How much money would they have to pay in compensation?
He now understood why the Holy Grail War had to be conducted in secret. Aside from keeping it hidden from the public eye, it was simply because they couldn't afford to pay for all this damage!
Gilgamesh, standing to the side, frowned slightly upon hearing this… Why did that sentence sound so familiar, as if someone had said it to this King before?
"Don't worry!"
Illya stood up, hands on her hips, chin slightly raised, and said with a proud face:
"The Einzbern family lacks many things, but money isn't one of them! It's merely one or two streets; we can afford it! It's rare for Berserker to be in such high spirits; he can even run errands for me now!"
"The problem is that his high spirits are taken out on me!"
Cú Chulainn pointed at the screen, looking like he wanted to cry but had no tears left.
"Why is it that all other Servants just retreat in defeat, but when it comes to me, I die directly? Hey!"
"Uh…"
Red A lowered his head in thought, then said somewhat suspiciously:
"Maybe because you are a Lance-r?!"
Upon hearing this, Cú Chulainn's facial muscles twitched slightly:
"Are you serious?"
Although I have the Battle Continuation class skill, Battle Continuation isn't for seeking abuse! I've practically mopped the entire street clean with my body.
Thinking of this, Cú Chulainn looked at the screen with a sense of melancholy. He somewhat missed his demonic sword; descending as a Saber class must be very different.
He felt the overwhelming malice from that world directed at him… No wonder that world doesn't have All the World's Evil; it turns out it all came for me!
.....
[ When Uncle B returned to the castle fully loaded, he handed a mysterious Holy Grail that looked like an electric kettle to Illya.
Illya looked at the mysterious object in front of her and immediately shouted at Uncle B: "What is this, Berserker? I clearly asked for Eneloop batteries!"
Having waited painfully from day to night, Illya, both angry and annoyed, slapped the "electric kettle" to the ground, smashing it right onto the forehead of Brother Dog lying on the floor.
It immediately began to emit a dazzling white light. Then, the lid of the "electric kettle" opened, and a mysterious creature that had appeared before crawled out.
However, judging by the towel on its head and the steam rising around it, it seemed to be soaking in a hot spring…
Under everyone's dumbfounded gaze, it took out a red battery and threw it down: "With this, the wish is granted, meow!"
Then, with a pop, it disappeared along with the kettle.
Still in a daze, Illya stared blankly at the battery on the floor and muttered: "This isn't an Eneloop…" ]
[ .....]
『 Viewers of Countless World 』
"This… is actually the Holy Grail??"
Everyone stared at the Holy Grail on the screen that was suspected to be an "electric kettle," instantly feeling messy in the wind… If you gave me a cup for drinking water and called it the Holy Grail, I'd believe it! But how does this thing look anything like a grail?
Moreover, this had to be the cheapest wish they had ever seen. Asking for batteries and only getting one?
Everyone knows controller batteries require two! What use is just one battery!
That wasn't the cruelest part. The cruelest part was that it gave a different model, COMPLETELY UNUSABLE—!!
.....
〜Type-Moon World, Fourth Holy Grail War Worldline
"This…"
Watching his daughter wish for just a battery, Emiya Kiritsugu, the old father, was left speechless and froze in place.
Daughter… is it possible that this wish doesn't require the Holy Grail? You just need to turn around and order the maids, and this wish could be fulfilled in minutes.
"hmphhahahahaha, you should feel fortunate, Emiya Kiritsugu!"
Gilgamesh laughed with great delight.
"Don't forget, a corrupted Holy Grail is imbued with endless malice, and the way wishes are granted becomes evil…"
Gilgamesh felt that the Holy Grail of that world was the biggest pleasure-seeker; it was quite interesting! Even a wish for a battery could be turned into such amusing entertainment.
Although it was interesting, Gilgamesh still looked somewhat disdainfully at that "kettle-shaped" Holy Grail. After all, its appearance was just too cheap!
Emiya Kiritsugu silently lit another cigarette for himself, resolving even more firmly to chop up that broken cup sooner or later. Keeping it around was just a disaster.
Except for the one in Solomon's world that truly granted wishes, not a single Holy Grail was reliable!
.....
[ Following Berserker's completion of the errand mission, Fuyuki City grandly held a new round of the Holy Grail Grand Prix. The spectator seats were filled with citizens watching the excitement.
Artoria complained slightly on the side: "Really, is it car racing this time? What do they take a sacred duel between knights for?"
Emiya Shirou didn't think it was that bad: "This isn't so bad. We don't have to fight until the sky goes dark and the earth splits. Isn't that better!"
Although somewhat displeased, Artoria still nodded: "That is true, but…"
As for the Servants' racing cars, they were also decided by a sacred lottery! ]
[ .....]
〜Type-Moon World, Fourth Holy Grail War Worldline
"Racing?!"
Irisviel's eyes instantly lit up, the corners of her mouth curving up wider and wider, her excited appearance just like a child who received their favorite toy.
"Kiritsugu, I want to participate, I want to participate!! I'm the best at this racing stuff."
At this moment, the Madam had never thought she would look forward to the Holy Grail War so much, provided… IF ONLY IT COULD BE LIKE THE HOLY GRAIL WAR IN THE VIDEO!!
Iskandar's eyes were also eager for action:
"It seems quite interesting. Shall we have a go as well?!"
Having experienced the Madam's driving skills, Saber's face instantly turned pale, and her voice became stuttered:
"Maybe, maybe another time!"
Irisviel's driving skills involved drifting continuously through corners on rugged, steep mountain roads. It could be said that the person was running in front, and their soul was chasing from behind…
〜Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline〜
"So this time we're playing with racing cars?"
Tohsaka Rin was stunned. You guys really have to compete in everything unrelated to combat, don't you!
"Unfair, this is absolutely unfair!"
Illya shouted with dissatisfaction, arms crossed over her chest:
"Tell me, with Berserker's size, what car can he fit into?"
Moreover, even if there really was such a car, do you think Berserker, a mad warrior, can drive? I have every reason to believe you are targeting me.
Emiya Shirou looked at Berserker's massive frame and went through all the cars he could think of in his mind…
Come to think of it, there really wasn't a single car that Berserker could fit into the driver's seat of.
.....
[ After a round of drawing lots, the respective teams received the racing cars meticulously prepared by the organizer, Father Mapo Tofu.
Tohsaka Rin and Archer drew a pink convertible sports car—GetMoney!
At this moment, Tohsaka Rin was facing the camera with a look of elegance: "Hehe~ We will do our best, fair and square! Please cheer for us!"
But in the next second, she leaned close to Archer, revealing a villainous expression: "No matter how dirty the means, we must win!"
"I absolutely must get first place!" Cú Chulainn also shouted with imposing momentum.
And in front of him stood a racing car shaped like a rocket. The massive engine symbolized that he possessed formidable firepower!! ]
[ .....]
〜Projection of All Worlds〜
"Wait—isn't this Brother Dog? How is he alive again?"
Seeing the confident Cú Chulainn, an ominous premonition rose in everyone's hearts. Could it be that they are going to persecute Cú Chulainn again?
.....
〜Type-Moon World, Fourth Holy Grail War Worldline〜
Meanwhile, Tohsaka Tokiomi watched his daughter's face-changing act, his heart filled with despair:
"Elegance, REMEMBER TO BE ELEGANT—!"
Rin… what have you experienced in these 10 years to completely throw away the elegance of a prestigious mage family?
You can do this kind of thing secretly, but don't say it out loud!
〜KonoSuba: God's Blessing on This Wonderful World〜
"SO COOL—!!"
Kazuma stared at Cú Chulainn's ride with shining eyes. As the saying goes, the roar of an engine is a man's romance.
At this moment, Kazuma was deeply captivated by this car. You might not ride it, but you must own it!
Darkness hesitated to speak:
"Kazuma, if you're talking about that four-wheeled steel carriage, I advise you to give up… As far as I know, the two front wheels of a normal carriage wouldn't be so close together, because it would be inconvenient for turning."
Kazuma stared longingly at the screen and answered without thinking:
"But it's handsome! Besides, I didn't say I wanted to drive it."
He wasn't stupid. As the only one with a brain in the entire team, how could he not see it? But this Brother Dog might be out of luck again.
However, did he offend the organizer? Or is he truly unlucky? To be the one who drew this car.
.....
[ Meanwhile, Shinji and Rider's team drew a lady's bicycle. Matou Shinji could only sit aggrievedly in the basket: "WHY DID WE DRAW A BICYCLE—!!"
Medusa, wearing a professional cycling suit, looked serious: "Don't worry, my Riding skill is A+. Go, Pegasus!"
Compared to them, the even unluckier Shirou and Saber team drew a kiddie ride—Lion!
Emiya Shirou was instantly dumbfounded: "A toy?!"
They saw Artoria sitting on the kiddie ride with a happy smile, looking completely natural.
Artoria smiled and waved at Emiya Shirou, then suddenly, the kiddie ride she was sitting on stopped. She extended her hand to Emiya Shirou: "PLEASE GIVE ME 100 YEN—!"
Emiya Shirou complained speechlessly: "Wait, I have to insert coins?" ]
[ .....]
『 Viewers of Countless World 』
"Hahaha, a lady's bicycle, and a kiddie ride that doesn't even count as a car. Just forfeit directly."
Looking at the kiddie ride—Lion—that required coins, people from other worlds laughed until they cried. By the way… how are you supposed to race with this?!
.....
〜Type-Moon World, Fifth Holy Grail War Worldline〜
Gilgamesh also looked at Emiya Shirou in front of him with a face full of ridicule, laughing with immense pleasure: "Hmph hahahaha, Mongrel! Do you have enough coin in stock??"
A kiddie ride, it's hilarious! Leaving aside the movement speed, the key is that you have to insert coins to move. You'll go bankrupt in minutes!
Listening to Gilgamesh's words, Emiya Shirou felt like a boomerang had hit him.
He subconsciously touched his trouser pocket. He had to admit, his reserve of coins might really be a bit insufficient.
.....
( Translator-kun: Folks, for those who dont know 'Brother Dog' is a fandom nickname for Cú Chulainn. It's a play on his title, 'TheHound of Culann,' and is meant affectionately. It's not meant to be an insult to the Lancer. )