Contrary to my own expectations, I did not miss the second day of class.
I wasted the rest of the previous day instead of studying; at most, I dedicated half an hour to history, and I only did so because I got tired of watching an anime that I got hooked on at the beginning.
I couldn't find anything I wanted to do besides watching anime and occasionally playing a game. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't study or read.
Reading has been my favorite activity since I started high school, and I'm not just talking about manga, but light novels too. Although I've read most of them online and for free.
This inability to do anything interesting led me to go to sleep early for the first time in a long time, and to get up excessively early as well.
That's why I'm going to class now when there's practically no one here except for the people who come to study, are super early risers, or have things to do at clubs. Well, more than a class, I'm heading to a much more welcoming place.
"Uahhhhh…"
I yawned as soon as I finished putting on my school shoes, covering my mouth as soon as I felt the urge.
Damn, now I'm sleepy… That's the fifth time I've yawned since I woke up. I'm going to faint in class.
Apparently, eight hours of sleep is nowhere near enough for my body. I either slept ten hours, or I slept five; aiming for the middle ground is a heretical pursuit.
I left the entrance right after yawning. The place I wanted to go wasn't far from class, which wasn't very encouraging since I'd have to walk halfway across the school to get there.
There was no one in the hallway except for two girls in the distance, and much to my dismay, I couldn't hear a thing from that distance. It's in moments like these, when I have nothing better to do, that I like to eavesdrop on what other people are talking about.
The good thing was that those girls were walking in my direction and I was walking in theirs, so we were bound to cross paths eventually. Besides, they were talking rather loudly, so I was able to hear them sooner than I expected.
"…they should release another video already, after what they've done to me." The girl on the right sounded a little disappointed and downcast. In contrast, the girl on the left even sounded cheerful.
"I just want to see my Luka again!"
"But they've killed Ivan, and you don't care!"
I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about, but being girls, they were probably talking about a foreign live-action show or some Korean series. I doubt they'd actually killed anyone in real life.
The point was that they were discussing a series I didn't know, whatever it was, so I didn't have much to take away from that conversation other than their tones of voice and reactions.
The girl on the right's exaggerated reaction was amusing.
I have a few characters I really like, though they're not that amazing. I still haven't found a series I absolutely love. It makes me think I can't form strong bonds with any series or character.
Right now, I couldn't make a top list of my favorite series or games because I wouldn't have anything to highlight. I know I still have a lot to watch and play, but I've been playing video games since I got a tablet when I was six, and watching anime for six years.
When I start questioning my favorites, I'm essentially questioning my tastes. Maybe I don't have favorites because I don't know how to appreciate what I see, because I see it just to see it, not to feel it.
It's ironic, because as a kid I loved Fire Emblem, and I even downloaded a few pirated copies to play on my tablet. Now I couldn't care less. It's like I never even touched it.
"…"
"…"
"…"
I crossed paths with the two girls who were talking earlier, looking at the ground as usual, so I couldn't tell what expression they had now that they were silent.
The contrast between how they were talking before and now not talking at all was stark, but I suppose every conversation eventually comes to an end.
"Well, I'm very sure Luka is going to win!"
"No, Till is going to win!"
They resumed their conversation, or rather argument, a while after we'd crossed paths. They were far enough away that it was a little difficult for me to understand what they were saying, partly because they were no longer facing each other. About five meters apart.
…
Putting their stupid argument aside, I was already near the stairs, just passing by my class.
I could leave my bag and go upstairs, so I wouldn't have to carry it, but it would be very strange to leave it there for almost half an hour and then come back as if nothing had happened, and I don't rule out the possibility that some in class might take advantage of that to pick on me.
Why not just stay in class? I'd rather go in when everyone's busy, and that way I avoid having to hold back the urge to melt like ice cream every time someone comes in. Besides, if what I wanted was to avoid class, going in just to drop off my bag was pretty counterproductive.
To avoid that fate there was a perfect place at the top of the stairs; the 'fourth floor' of the institute next to which I had spent so much time of my life, time equivalent to an hour meant for eating in which I only ate my words.
As long as no teacher catches me, I'll be perfectly fine.
This area had everything you'd expect in a club: chairs, tables, even a bookshelf. Mind you, I haven't looked inside yet.
Unfortunately, I couldn't use anything that was there, as that would make me extremely easy to spot.
Wait a minute, if I go to the bottom…
There wasn't much space to play with, but it was enough to put two tables side by side. I took advantage of the fact that no one was around to move a chair to the back and try sitting in it, hoping the angle would be right enough to completely hide me.
And I can see the whole hallway. How cool.
As expected, the attempt was futile.
Well, I guess I'll have to sit on the floor. Not so cool.I might bring a cushion one of these days .
Defeated, I sat back down with my back against the railing, leaving my school bag to one side.
There were still 20 minutes before classes started, so I had just under half recess to kill time. Time in which I had absolutely nothing to do.
Or well, almost nothing to do.
I don't really feel like reading, but oh well.
From my bag I took out a book, but not just any book, it was the second volume of Ivy Sense.
While I was at home completely lost yesterday, she asked me to bring it to her via LINE. That was the first time I'd ever spoken to her on my phone. Before that, the need had never arisen, and I certainly preferred to avoid it. Ironic, considering my intentions.
Did I really want to read it at that time? No. Not only because I wasn't particularly keen, but because whenever I thought about the series, the ending haunted me. Only when I stopped thinking about it could I enjoy what was good.
And even though I didn't want to, I opened the manga and started reading. I read a page, then one or two, and then I didn't want to read any more…
I closed the manga, unable to concentrate on it. I needed to make a great effort to read the words, and not because I was illiterate, which I may seem to be, but I'm not. I think.
There was something holding me back, and this time it wasn't the end, that didn't really matter to me. I couldn't explain it, but something repelled me in the same way that two like poles repel each other on a magnet.
It wasn't the first time it had happened to me, nor the second, nor the third. This was the reason why I couldn't read.
I was angry about the absurd amount of things, both manga and novels, that I had pending, but I couldn't overcome that force no matter how much I pushed.
Defeated once again, I put the manga in my backpack, and sitting on the floor almost like a vagabond, I waited for 18 of the 20 minutes to pass before class started.
It was when there was at least a minute left before the bell rang that I went down to class. This time I wasn't so lucky getting down from the fourth floor, since many people were going up to their respective classes. I don't know who paid any attention to me, although I didn't care as long as I wasn't late.
I was the only one there coming down, so I had to stay very close to the edge of the stairs to have a chance of passing.
I managed to get out of that sea of noise and into my classroom seconds before the bell rang. It wasn't going to be the end of the world if I was a couple of minutes late, since the bell is just when the teachers start heading to their respective classes; it's not the moment you absolutely have to be there.
That's why I went in without any hurry, beyond the urgency I imposed on myself to sit down as quickly as possible. I also adopted, as a precaution, the brilliant and ingenious technique of looking at the floor and avoiding raising my head, which in my mind seemed infallible.
Of course, since I couldn't see people's eyes, I didn't know if they were really looking at me or not, and that made this strategy completely useless, since the goal was to make me believe that nobody saw me, not to actually achieve it.
Furthermore, entering in such an unusual way could only attract more attention.
Thank God my seat isn't at the back of the class anymore.
I sat down in my seat perhaps a little more hastily than I should have, as I still had to leave my bag hanging on the side of my seat.
And you don't have to be very clever to imagine the position I had to assume while sitting down to be able to take the handle off my shoulder and pass the bag under the table to the place where I had to hook it.
All of this made my second day get off to a relatively terrible start, in my opinion. The only good thing about it was that I didn't have time to think about anyone because of the embarrassment I was feeling.
That was until I had time to recover as much as possible.
Today I didn't even look at Otsuki when I came in, let alone say hello. It's not like I could, with how little security there still is.
I wonder what Otsuki was thinking of me at that moment, walking into class last instead of first. The time I went into class was somewhat similar to my old schedule, except I left half an hour early.
As for her, there were still many things that worried me, although only one of them was stuck in my head; Hina and Tsukiyomi.
Since I haven't been able to talk to her, I have no idea if she's told them anything about me being in class. As far as I'm concerned, she can keep quiet forever. If I move to the Bahamas, they'll never know I'm going to class again. It's the perfect plan.
Although I don't feel like moving.
I'd have to swallow this worry until recess, and until Otsuki decides to come up to the fourth floor. It's not like she's coming with me directly; she'll have to let them know first.
But if they already know, would it be necessary to do it? No, wait a minute, I can't assume Otsuki is going to come with me. What if she doesn't show up and I'm left alone for the whole recess? Actually, it wouldn't be so terrible. But what am I saying? It would be awful.
The doorbell stopped me from dwelling on the many other possibilities. Who was to say I'd be on the fourth floor? It was possible I'd lock myself in the bathroom again. A small possibility, but a real one.
The bell may have distracted me, but with the habit I've developed in class, I doubt I need to say how much I learned there.
When I get home, I should start deleting tabs in my browser; I have too many things I don't plan on looking at. I don't even know why I opened them in the first place.