"I'm home…! Oh, right," I remembered that my father still wasn't home. He said he would dedicate fewer hours to work, but I see that some things can't be changed.
As far as I know, he doesn't work as much on Saturdays anymore.
Working Saturdays is excessive enough if you work Monday to Friday. And the calculations indicate he already works the required 40 hours. Will he go in on Saturdays to work overtime then? I'm not so sure. Something smells fishy.
I went straight up to my room, not just to drop off my bag, but mainly to change into pajamas. It's not like I have anywhere else to go besides my room.
Another thing I had to do was get the exams out. The school requires our parents to sign them to ensure we're not hiding anything, so making sure I don't forget to show them to my dad is essential. I speak from experience.
I can imagine what she's going to say. That it's okay. That I can get my grade back later.
Nothing ever happens.
Seeing the notes as I pulled them out made my heart sink, as if I hadn't already seen those numbers. As if they hadn't fallen at my feet. I threw them to the side of my desk, scattering them apart.
I fell face down on my bed, rolling a little to end up on my side, facing my room. It was a familiar sight.
"…"
I'd have to go downstairs to eat.
Even though I'm not hungry.
"…"
The atmosphere was quieter than usual. Just because he was home alone most of the time doesn't mean there couldn't be any noise. It was like white noise.
Static.
"…"
The feeling was similar to a strident silence.
It exerted unbearable pressure on my head.
"…"
Now he should be hearing noise; or rather, someone. Poison oozing from his mouth.
"…"
If not now, then in dreams.
I was in the yard. Alone, reading under a tree.
The breeze that caressed my side relaxed every muscle in my body. If I wasn't careful, I would fall asleep.
People outside were minding their own business. Some were playing with a ball on the soccer field, or the basketball court. There were even people on the tennis court. These are private cases; most people are just wandering around and talking. Almost all the benches were occupied, too.
Even if they were empty, I would have chosen to come here.
The novel I was reading was long; I need to make some progress, even if it's just a little, whenever possible if I want to finish it.
Anyone who saw me sitting there as they passed by would think I was a social recluse, an outcast, but they couldn't be more wrong.
I have chosen to be here.
And besides, I have friends in class, it's just that everyone is doing their own thing right now.
'I wonder if they'll come to say hello,' I thought.
I was alone, but it was a great morning.
Especially for being in class.
I won't deny that I'd be more comfortable in the park instead of here. There shouldn't be anyone here at this hour, and I can continue enjoying this weather for as long as I like.
For autumn, the sun was shining quite brightly, another reason why this place was perfect.
I even saw a cat hiding in the bushes. It was black, with green eyes.
If I were heartless, I'd get up and tell him to go to hell just for that. However, I'm not a brainless idiot who believes in things like bad luck.
If I have to walk under a ladder, I will. If I want to take an umbrella inside the house, I will. And if I see a black cat with green eyes, I'd like to pet it if possible.
Bad luck is nothing more than the excuse people use when things go wrong. It just so happened that everything arranged itself in such a way that it ended up happening, and unable to blame anyone, we blame something. Bad luck.
People aren't generally 'lucky'; rather, they participate in an endless chain of events, either occupying the winning or losing position. And this position, whether we want to believe it or not, is chosen.
Ringgg!
The bell rang, announcing the end of recess.
I got up from my seat, still holding the novel. In my haste, my phone fell out of my pocket.
We decide when we participate in the chain of events. Wait a while and it will turn out well. Wait longer and it might even turn out better. Do it as quickly as possible and it might not turn out well.
Of course, not everything in this chain is uncertain. If you arrive late to work, you'll certainly be in a bad position within the chain. But you don't usually blame your bad luck. You will if it's the traffic's fault, but what if you took too long in the shower? Or spent too much time on your coffee? You'll rarely take the blame yourself. That's why you'll think, 'It was inevitable.'
Even when we're right, we're capable of blaming luck.
And what a shame it is when that luck takes credit for others.
I went to pick up my phone, and its screen turned on without me touching anything.
A boy was huddled next to a wall, his back against it, his hands clutching his head.
It was a video.
The hairs on my body stood on end one by one, sending a shiver through my entire body. A drop of cold sweat trickled down my forehead.
I stepped hard on the phone, breaking the screen and ending the video.
I looked around.
There was an absurd number of people in the courtyard. One might reason that it was because of the bell, but even then, so many people wouldn't have been entering the building.
Everyone had their phones out.
An inexplicable terror invaded my body, making my face resemble a blueberry.
Given the absurd situation, I was lucky that no one was looking at me. Even so, it was impossible not to feel pressured by the crowd.
I slipped into the group of students heading for the door. Immersed among them, I would go unnoticed without any effort.
I would have to shout to get their attention.
A video.
I realized then that everyone had their phones out for the same thing: watching a video.
When I realized what they were seeing, a large space opened up between me and the students. Of course, this space was circular, and I was in the middle.
Now, everyone was looking at me.
And not out of the corner of their eye like they usually do. Right in the eyes.
I braced myself for them to say something. The usual. I was used to it. Their comments would come pouring down, but I'd already brought an umbrella for them.
This time the rain was coming from the front, not from above.
*Flash*
A girl took a picture of me.
Moments later, I was left with no clothes at all; I lost my school bag too. The only thing I had left was my novel.
Oddly enough, my private parts didn't exist; I was just a wall of skin. That didn't matter much, though, since the real problem was that I was naked in front of the entire school.
Following the first flash came a hundred more. I could hear most of them laughing as they took pictures of me, without saying a single comment about me.
They just laughed.
He was petrified in the center of the circle.
It would be useless to try to escape; there was no opening through which to do so.
I couldn't escape.
Their laughter grew progressively more canned, monotonous. The glare ruined and diluted the sunlight streaming down from the sky. The only thing that didn't change were their smiles when they saw me.
I shrank in the middle as much as I could, so that I would be seen as little as possible… No, to ignore people as much as possible.
They didn't exist for me, this wasn't happening.
It's too absurd.
That can't be possible.
It's a dream.
From the crowd, a girl stepped forward.
Another step. And another.
Until he stood in front of me.
I remained curled up in a ball, crouching down. She was forced to crouch down as well.
"Believe it or not, this is your present."
Her voice rose above the background laughter. It was shrill. Ruthless.
"More than one person will have the video saved. It's scary the methods people use to protect what they consider treasure. Who knows if they've already uploaded it to the internet."
The sound of a notification.
Then another, and another, and another.
Comments, likes, shares.
All for the photos that people were taking of me.
"You look pathetic. The whole school feels sorry for you. Why do you think the teachers treat you so well? You don't do your homework and they don't say anything, you mess up your exams, and they'll probably just tell you 'it's okay.'"
The flashes eventually stopped, but people kept laughing. Their bonds grew stronger as they laughed and laughed. An unforgettable moment for everyone.
They had already shared this moment until they were stuffed, now they had to enjoy it.
"Don't you consider yourself lucky? People pity you. And because they pity you, they're going to leave you alone. They're going to treat you like a little kid. They're going to make the rest of the school year easy for you. Just because you're you."
People lost interest. In an instant, all their laughter stopped. They had their usual neutral expressions again. And one by one they turned away, leaving me alone with that girl.
That girl, who probably felt sorry for me too.
"They're going to leave you alone."
Countless graffiti appeared on the ground.
Those were the words I was waiting to hear.
'Human waste.' 'Monster.' 'Sexist.' 'Kill yourself.' 'Leave class.' 'Nobody likes you.' 'Liar.' 'Wretch.'
Written in black ink, all over the wooden floor.
I thought,
Why do I have to be so unlucky?