"I think…maybe I wasn't meant to be forgiven." Ren said in a quiet voice. "That whatever I'd done in the past brought me here. And that I don't deserve to forget it…"
"It's hard for me to answer that." Eva responded. "If forgetting is a punishment…or a blessing."
Silence fell between them.
And something touched Ren's back, forcing him to flinch.
The ghost-like steed stood there, the cracks in its form glowing faintly. It leaned forward, its snout grazing between his shoulder blades. Not forceful. Just enough to say it was time.
Ren was surprised by how present the gesture felt.
"Yeah, you're right. Can't sit here any longer." He muttered.
The horse huffed—a low, steady exhale that brushed against his cloak. Like the sigh of a long lost friend. It nudged Ren again, more gently this time, waiting for him to stand.
Ren reached out slowly, resting his hand on the side of its ethereal form.
"Thanks," He said in a soft manner. "For not letting me stay down too long."
Eva watched, the faintest smile touching her lips.
The steed remained still under his hand, dipping its head almost in a bow, before it stepped back from the two of them. When they reached the front steps, Ren looked over at Eva.
'This feels wrong…' Ren thought. 'She shouldn't enter. If The Mother were here. What if she takes her again? I can't let that happen. Not if I have the choice to do so…'
"Actually, Eva…" Ren muttered. "You should stay here. I'll go in alone."
Eva tilted her head in confusion.
Even with her closed eyes, he could feel her gaze pierce him.
"I just…" Ren gestured toward the chapel. "If she sees me first…Maybe she'll focus on me. If one of us were to get hurt in there, it should be me, right?"
Eva didn't answer.
The wind pressed against her midnight dress, fluttering the hem around her knees. Her lips had parted, then closed, as if searching for words to cut through the weight in the air between them.
"I…hate that you talk like that," She finally whispered.
Ren did not expect the sharpness in her tone.
"I hate that you think your life is something to bargain with," Eva went on, voice trembling. "That if pain needs to be handed out. It should be yours. Like it's what you deserve…Made for it."
She stepped forward.
"You're not some…sacrificial piece, Ren. You're not a shield. You're not a blade…Or whatever else you think this world decided to turn you into. You're…you're a person."
Ren turned his gaze away from her.
"You don't even know who I was," He murmured, his voice quivering with sorrow. "What if I was made for it? What if everything I've done, everything I will do, is just more proof that the only thing I'm good at is being broken, so someone else doesn't have to be?"
She reached up and touched his face with cold, soft hands. "Then let me be the one who breaks for you, just this once. Let me walk through the door first."
"No." His answer came too fast, a little too sharp.
Eva didn't pull her hand back.
"Then don't ask me to wait out here while you go in and get torn to pieces."
"I'm not asking you to wait," Ren said softer this time. "I'm asking you to remain who you are."
The wind had died down. All that remained was the faint creak of the chapel doors.
"I don't need saving…I know what I'm getting myself into." He stepped closer to the doors. "I know there's no telling what's waiting in there, but—"
"That's why you shouldn't go in alone…" Eva whispered, unable to accept his mindset.
He closed his eyes, steadying the ache in his voice.
"If she sees both of us. If she thinks I trust you. She'll use it." He exhaled to maintain his composure. "That's why I'll face her…alone."
Ren placed his hands on the door handles and pulled with full force. The doors slowly opened. Inside was pitch black, silent—but a chill rolled out, sending shivers down both their spines.
"Please…let me do this alone."
Before she could respond, Ren walked into the darkness. Alone.
His voice dulled, but she faintly heard his last words.
"I promise…I will come back…"
The darkness had swallowed him whole. Blackness pooled thick at his feet like oil. Cold air blew past, as if a constant reminder to tell him he was all alone.
'Why did I tell her to stay? Because I thought I'd be noble?' He took a step forward, wrapping his cloak tighter around himself. 'I mean…I didn't want her to get hurt. But…I don't want her to see me scared again. I want to be strong. Yeah, that's it. Someone that she can depend on.'
Feeling threatened by the silence, he reached for the dagger. Fingers touched the hilt—and stopped. The cloth that once wrapped it was gone. The blade itself was no more than a jagged stump of iron. He pulled it from the sheath nonetheless, holding it in front for protection.
'This was stupid. I should've let her come with me. I should've let her stand beside me.' Ren tried to control his breathing, to push the thoughts out—but they wouldn't leave.
Her words echoed inside him.
'You're not a blade…'
He kept hearing it. The way her voice trembled, the way her hand stayed on his face.
'I know I'm not…But I want to be…I want to be able to defeat any threat before me.'
'You're not a shield…'
'But I want to protect myself. I want to protect what I value.' His grip on the dagger tightened. 'And to do that, I have to be brave…to push forward even when I'm scared.'