Ritsuka POV
"And the survey says:" the light show died down, revealing his prize, "another bowl of Mapo tofu!!" He sucked at impressions, but he had a feeling even Steve Harvey would forgive him after seeing the steaming bowl of disappointment before him.
[Bruh. ]
[ACinnamonRola: Even the FATE system doesn't want Gudao to keep summoning evil servants anymore. ]
[I'mJustABill: How many bowls of Mapo Tofu does that make? ]
[I lost count. We need a Mapo Tofu counter. ]
[GudakoBot: Fuck no. :Popuko Middle Finger Emote: ]
[Why such hatred for a dish? What did it do to deserve such treatment? ]
[CasCu: It's better if you don't know. ]
Mash walked up to the bowl and gingerly picked it up from her shield, then she took the bowl to a line of pots nearby. She lifted one of the lids and slowly dumped the contents into one of them, the liquid heat making plopping noises as it filled the container.
Finally, she closed the lid and stacked the dirty dish on top of the ever-growing pile of dirty dishes nearby.
Sighing, he sent a glare at the shield in front of him.
It's been an hour since he finished his first bowl of Mapo Tofu, and for some reason after that one bowl appeared, no other servants answered his plea.
He had so much mapo tofu that even the summoning room, with its tall and wide dimensions, was starting to reek of it.
A few of his servants sampled the dish, curious about its taste after he described it.
Many of them immediately regretted taking a bite and started coughing and hacking from the pain.
But none had it worse than Jalter, who, despite being a woman who manipulated flames, was hit by the spice worse than everyone else.
The gasping noises she made him fear he was going to have to resummon her again, but thankfully, she managed to recover quickly after he ordered Emiya made a quick trip to the kitchen to bring a carton of milk for everyone to wash out the taste of mapo tofu.
Yet despite the constant failures, he never gave up and kept trying to summon more servants.
At first, he thought the food summoning was just a coincidence, but that theory was thrown out the window when he asked Emiya to project some swords to use as catalysts. All that did was just spawn different variants of Mapo Tofu for some odd reason.
Some Mapo Tofu varieties were green, some were a more vivid red, and a few came with rice. As neat as these different varieties were, the problem remained, something was preventing them from summoning more servants.
That was when he decided to call in Da Vinci, so she could do an inspection of the FATE system.
And once again, he was left disappointed.
Despite the damage from the explosions, the FATE system was doing fine. Hearing that just made him wonder if his Mapo Tofu summoning was just a rash of bad luck.
"If the FATE system was alive, I think this would be its way of saying it's done for the day," Mash said while still looking a bit flushed from the Mapo Tofu she ate earlier.
Unlike the others, Mash actually managed to finish a bowl, albeit with great difficulty.
"Mash is right Gudao-kun, while it's not ideal, you did manage to recruit many new servants to help our cause. So cheer up! You can always try again later."
I was afraid of that, but I guess it can't be helped, thank you for your time Da Vinci. Alright, We'll postpone the servant summoning for the rest of today then."
[No!! Please!! We still haven't gotten Jeanne, Marie, Mozart, Sasaki, or Saint Georgios!! ]
[Eon_Red: Don't forget Elizabeth. ]
The familiar ding sound of TTS rang out, drawing everyone's attention to the glowing orb floating in the air.
[GudakoBot: "Singularity 1 Complete!! Dispensing awards." ]
["For completing the First Singularity, here is your Hundred Years' War of the Evil Dragons Badge." ]
A bright spotlight shone in front of him. A glint caught his eye and he instinctively reached out to catch the sparkling piece of metal out of the air before it hit the ground.
Opening his palm, he saw a familiar symbol, the same symbol he had seen on Jalter's flag. It was an ornate dragon symbol carved in what looked like a yellowish lime-green gemstone. The outlines surrounding the badge were made of obsidian glass and after turning it around, he noticed the base of it was made of solid steel.
Like the previous badge he received, it felt warm to the touch, but it also felt paradoxically cold in some areas.
He felt something warm and soft press on his back.
Jalter was leaning on him from behind, but she didn't seem to notice or care that one of her breasts was touching him, as she was more focused on the badge resting on his palm.
She squinted her eyes, "is that my emblem?"
"Y-Yeah, every time I clear a singularity, I get a badge. " He tried his best to ignore how her heartbeat had had synced with his and fished out the badge case in his pocket.
He opened the case and carefully slotted the badge into the indentation that was shaped like it.
"Two down, six more to go I guess." Although he had no idea why his powers were giving him these badges aside from making a joke about him being on a really messed up pokemon journey.
He also didn't know what would happen after he collected all eight badges, and he chose to not ask that question aloud this early into the journey.
He closed the case and turned to his servants, "you guys wanna see my badges?"
A few of them nodded, and he stepped away from Jalter's soft bosom and handed the case to Emiya, who after taking a brief moment to analyze the badge, passed it over for the others to see.
[HippityHoppip650: I still find it bizarre that Gudao's second badge is a dragon. No dragon type Gym leaders in any known region offer lower level badges. Heck, the Blackthorn Gym won't even allow trainers attempt to challenge the gym leader if they have less than seven badges. ]
[I mean, it's not that surprising. The reason why we award dragon badges late in the circuit is because dragons are powerful creatures who demand respect. It will be a stain on Blackthorn Gym and other dragon type gyms to accept battling and losing to mediocrity.
Gudao, on the other hand, has proven time and time again that he has the character, the will, and now the strength to confront a dragon. So although the dragon badge is his second, it's not insulting to any of us. ]
[GudakoBot:New emote packages have been unlocked!!
Orleans Package(Full)
Preview:
WazzupHomiesMarie
*Closeup of Marie's face with sunglasses.*
PunchSaintAnimated
*Animated chibi image of Saint Martha holding her dukes up in a boxing stance while moving back and forth in an arch pattern.*
GREATESTCOOOOL
*Closeup of Gilles de Rais laughing.*
SumanaiSadge
*Siegfried with a sad expression that has a caption that reads: Sumanai.* ]
[ :PunchSaintAnimated emote: ] x34
[:WazzupHomiesMarie:] x632
Martha made an unsaintly noise when she saw her chibi emote.
She took a deep breath, and whispered something under her breath, "This is my penance. I must endure."
But she was too far away to hear, so he couldn't make out what she said, but somehow he knew she was blaming herself again.
He was going to have to correct that flawed mindset later.
[IliekQTthings: Ugh, this is one ugly emote. :GREATESTCOOOOL emote: ]
[ShortShorts_QUEEN: Yeah, not much of a reward tbh. It feels more like a punishment to have to see that face again. ]
[GudakoBot: Due to completing the Orleans singularity at a significantly higher difficulty than it should have been, an additional emote package has been unlocked.
Septem package(Partial)
Current emotes unlocked:
- Umu
*Closeup of a blonde woman smiling with her eyes closed. The woman looks like an uncorrupted King Arthur.*
- WindowToVenus
*A closeup of the back of someone's red dress. At its center, the dress has a window that exposes soft, pink butt cheeks for the whole world to see.*
- Padoru
*A stylized chibi blonde character in a Santa Claus costume. She is dragging a bag of presents behind her.*
More emotes will be unlocked during key moments of the next singularity. No stream goals required. ]
[Umu? What the heck?]
[GroundHippowdon: Saber emotes? ]
[Dunno. She looks a little… off. ]
[GARcher: (-_-) ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): What the fuck is this?!! :WindowToVenus emote: ]
[Heart0f6old: That there is what we in the business refer to as: "booty." ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): :eye roll emoji: I know what "booty" is Gold. What I am asking is, why is there a window at the back of a dress? And most importantly, GUDAKOBOT, WHY DID YOU INCLUDE SUCH A LEWD EMOTE INTO GUDAO STREAM? ]
[GudakoBot: :Shrugging Pikachu Emote: ]
[Fashionista: Such a bold design would work better as lingerie than an actual dress. ]
[Wasn't Venus the second planet in Sol? ]
[MashuMellows: Venus was actually the name of the goddess most well known for presiding over the domain of love and beauty. The planet was named in her honor. ]
[Mighty1Oak: I'm not much of an astronomer, but I do recall the planets of Sol are Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune. With the planet Pluto getting demoted to dwarf planet in recent years. ]
[MashuMellows: Yes, that is correct. Most were named after the Roman Gods. The exception being Earth, as its name relates to Gaia(the greek goddess), Terra(Roman Goddess), and of coarse, the name is also a reference to 'dry dirt'. ]
[It's too early for christmas, but a new christmas emote is always welcome. ]
[Bethany_Brawler: You guys actually celebrate Christmas? ]
[Christmas is surprisingly one of the few direct holidays both worlds celebrate on the same day of the year. ]
[Bethany_Brawler: By any chance do any of you know of our lord and saviour Jesus Christ of Bethlehem? ]
[SonyaYampers: if you mean before Gudao's stream? Then no, we didn't. The word "Christ" in Christmas, for us, has always been a word with no meaning.
A lot of our world's history had cataclysmic wars that always ended with libraries getting burned or destroyed.
Etymology in our world was in shambles in some areas until Gudao arrived and started showing us clues that helped us fill in the gaps of what we were missing. ]
[Bethany_Brawler: I see… ]
"Excuse me, but can someone tell a girl without access to the stream what's going on? You've all just been standing around, looking at your screens or brooding in silence for the past five minutes." Da Vinci was pouting at him, and he let out a nervous chuckle.
"Sorry Da Vinci. I'll fill you in, the stream was just giving chat some new emotes as a reward for completing Orleans. And from there, someone was asking about the names of the planets, and we all just got a bit into the discussion."
Da Vinci's pout went away, and she nodded, satisfied at being included in the group.
The loud ding of TTS rang once again, and this time it brought news that made him drop all his current line of thoughts.
["Game Mode unlocked.
From now on, all members of Gudao's stream can play the following games:
Super Smash Brothers
Minecraft
All you have to do is type: !gamemode and the title of the game they wish to play. For Smash bros, you have to type 64, Melee, Brawl, 4, or Ultimate for the specific copy you wish to play.
Servants can now play with Gudao, each other, or if they wish, with chat.
Yes, you heard that right.
Both Minecraft and Super Smash Bros have limited inter-dimensional internet access capabilities.
So have fun.
Note: This mode is only available within the halls of Chaldea. It will not work elsewhere. "]
His eyes nearly bulged from his sockets at what he heard.
"Wow, your powers are so accommodating, Gudao-kun. Now it lets you play games with your audience and your servants? How fascinating!"
Da Vinci let out a sigh, "I feel so left out, I want to smash with you too~" The kind of smash Da Vinci is alluding to doesn't sound family friendly, not at all.
[Yes Da Vinci, we know you do. ]
"Minecraft? Super Smash Brothers? Excuse me, but the throne isn't giving me any information about these games."
He felt a strange urge of excitement at the idea of playing games with his servants, and so, he tried his best to come up with a good answer to Martha's question.
"Oh, minecraft is a game that gives players the ability to explore a vast, open world made entirely of blocks. You can mine resources to craft tools that will help you build things. It's fun by itself, but it's more fun if played with other people, and based on what GudakoBot said, we will be able to play together."
"So it's a game for children?" Martha asked with a tilt of her head. She didn't sound dismissive or mocking, she was genuinely curious about them.
"Well, it's the intended audience, but older adults also play it. You can literally build almost anything in that space, and while there are limitations, your imagination and creativity is still given a lot of room to play around with." Martha seemed to be interested, although it really depends on her when she plays the game whether she'll continue or not.
"How interesting… What about Super Smash Brothers?" It was Jalter who asked a question this time.
"It's a fighting game where you can control characters from the Nintendo company and other third parties in a battle royale." He has only ever played the first four games, the fifth one he never heard of. Was it a game from the future?! Oh man, now he's getting all excited!
A dismissive scoff from Carmilla blunted his excitement a bit, "childish games about manual labor and pointless fighting? How boorish. Forgive me, Master, but video games are not something I'll partake in unless you force me to with a command seal."
"Ah, it's alright. You guys don't have to feel pressured to play, it's just an optional feature, like TTS or… the Potshots."
He can't say he's fond of the latter feature. It's a helpful tool, sure, but he hates that his chatters, many of them his childhood heroes, put themselves in danger for his sake.
They've been with him for years, so the last thing he wants is for them to get hurt or worse, which is a bit late considering Jenny getting slashed in the face.
[GudakoBot: Dispensing final reward. ]
Mash's shield glowed, and a single ring of light rose into the air. It spun and spun until it exploded in light, revealing a treasure chest.
The wooden chest slid down the sloped shield, until it came to a stop with a thump.
Pretty much the same scenario with the storage container like last time.
He walked toward the chest, then he flipped the latch that opened the chest with a creak.
Clothes?
He bent over, reached into the chest, and pulled out a red hoodie. A very specific red hoodie with a very familiar and distinct symbol etched into the chest.
[A TEAM MAGMA UNIFORM?!! ]
[Ms.Roxanne: It would seem GudakoBot has a cheeky, if poor taste in humor. ]
[GudakoBot: I'm not the one who makes these gifts, I'm just the delivery gurl. ]
"Senpai, what is that?"
"It's a team magma uniform." He inspected the hoodie and whistled when he saw how high quality it was..
"What's a Team Magma?" Da Vinci asked, "are they like those Team Rocket guys?"
"Yeah, they are. They are from the games that came out in generation three, the era of the game boy advance. The Teams Aqua and Magma are the Evil Teams the protagonist encounters in their pokemon journey. Team Magma's single goal is to expand the world's landmass so that they have more room for real estate."
Da Vinci, who grew a pensive look on her face after hearing the information, "and how did they plan on doing that?"
"By awakening the super ancient pokemon Groudon, a pokemon that was said to have created the landmasses in their world." it was still kind of silly that he was explaining pokemon lore like it was real history and people were actually taking him seriously.
Because now there's real proof that this fantastical world actually exists.
"Wait a minute, don't the Pokémon humans live in a world that still has plenty of wilderness left?"
"Yeah." He knew what da Vinci was going to ask, but interrupting her would be rude.
"So, why are they going out of their way to capture a primordial force of nature to create more landmass if they already have a ton of wilderness to tear down and cultivate?"
What was the reason again? Oh right, he remembered.
"If I recall correctly, Teams Aqua and Magma were environment protection organizations at first. Then they later made the switch to eco-terrorists with dreams of grandeur. In Team Magma's case, they couldn't legally get past the strict environmental regulations of the Hoenn Region. "
"Of course, it's always the pesky government that gets in the way." She placed a finger under her chin, "Another question, did any of them account for the disastrous effects that altering the ocean's sea level would incur?"
"I mean, in the games, they were shown to care too much about their idealistic dreams than the short and long term effects their actions would cause."
"You also mentioned Team Aqua, what was their plan?"
"Oh, they had a similar plan, except they wanted to expand the seas by using the super ancient Pokémon Kyogre. The Pokémon who created the seas and oceans in the Pokémon world."
His conversation with Da Vinci was interrupted by Martha, who looked mortified at the topic of discussion, "So there were real people out there who were actively trying to unleash a biblical flood on an entire world… just so phantasmal can have more places to live?"
"Yeah pretty much. But it's okay, the International police managed to arrest them before they could manage to recreate what happened in the games." He told her, and Martha looked a bit relieved when he told her that.
Oh neat, the uniform is actually cooler on the inside. So that's how they could wear these things inside volcanoes.
"To flood the world and kill millions for the sake of beasts, it is not just evil, it is asinine. If these fools who think themselves God had tried to pull this kind of stunt in my time, I would have hunted them all down and planted a forest of impaled corpses for all the realm to see!" Lord Vlad declared in an offended tone.
[(•᷄- •᷅ ) ] x564
[Dan-TheMan donated 100 bits ]
["While I agree that Team Aqua and Magma got off lightly, impalement is not a legal method of execution our world uses anymore, but I understand and respect that it's your preferred method of execution Lord_Impaler.
Btw, Pokémon aren't beasts, they are our friends." ]
Lord Vlad humphed, "so if flooding a world is not enough to warrant death, what will?"
["The death penalty is a very controversial subject in both our world and yours(at least in the modern age) so it's rarely implemented. Of course, lethal force is still authorized during Evil team busting operations, but once prisoners are captured, the legal system takes over.
Prisoners are given the option to reform and reintegrate into society after serving their prison sentence.
Those who do reform are put under probation for decades, until they eventually are left alone. Those who refuse, will remain incarcerated for as long as they continue to refuse to change.
However, those who somehow manage to revert to their old ways after being pardoned or are on probation, are exiled deep into the wilds with no Pokémon, in an area that lacks apricots so they cannot make poke balls to catch Pokémon with. It is the preferred method of dispatch for heinous criminals for all regions.
Pokémon aren't dumb, they will know you are an outcast and will specifically target you if they see you alone that far into the wilderness with no Pokémon of your own.
The criminal's death or survival is dependent on their nature. The Pokémon that live in those areas will all know that the humans dumped there are bad humans, so criminals are forced to make self reflections about themselves as people before they can even attempt to befriend the local wildlife." ]
[CasCu: Exiling criminals into the hostile wilderness filled with phantasmals? Wow, color me impressed. Exile isn't even legal in most places of the modern era, and exiling a criminal in an area where they can get mauled to death even less so. ]
[Dan-TheMan: That's what Gudao said when we told him about it, and yeah, it is. But in our world it's the most politically safe one to implement, since we are literally returning a person to nature and let them handle their own fate. ]
"What's to stop the criminals from forging their own nations in the wilds and coming back to conquer you?" Lord Vlad pressed, clear interest and curiosity in his question.
["Great question. The answer is simple, the wilds are not just plain wilderness like on Earth, they are essentially their own Pokémon led states. Our governments do have agreements with the leaders of some of these mini nations to exile criminals to.
If a criminal gets to a certain threshold of power, the leader, or Alpha, will step in.
Many of them are centuries old, and will easily be able to see into their hearts and judge them to see if they still hold malice.
In any case, if somehow all these failsafes, well, fail, then that's the job of a champion and Elite Four to put them down if they do return. Though such an occurrence is so rare, it has only happened a handful of times over human history." ]
"Fascinating… so I take it the leaders of these two organizations, Aqua and Magma, have been exiled? " Lord Vlad asked.
["No. They both willingly chose to redeem themselves by dedicating the rest of their lives to help the community after they serve their sentence. They are still alive inside Hoenn's Maximum Security Prison to this day. "]
The disappointment in Lord Vlad's face was self-evident, "A shame, but it is your world and your rules. I have no jurisdiction over you. So I shall say nothing more."
"This uniform is so cool, it's a shame the group who wore them were dumb. Say, Master, are you going to wear these?" Jalter immediately jumped into the conversation again after Lord Vlad finished speaking and showed him some booty shorts.
He shook his head, "no I won't, unlike the games, these uniforms represent a group that actually terrorized people. They went around committing crimes like stealing people's Pokémon. So no, I won't."
"In that case…" Jalter took the hoodie from his hands and suddenly, her clothes glowed, and at the same time the Magma outfit glowed as well.
The light faded, and to his surprise, she was now dressed up exactly like a female team Magma grunt from Omega Ruby.
Well, for the most part. The under cloth that most Magma Grunts and admins wore was absent, so her well toned belly was fully visible.
The booty shorts fit snugly on her, and the cloth barely covered her long, pale legs.
"Woah, this is nice! Say, Master, can I keep it?!" Jalter's eyes were sparkling as she started observing her new clothes.
"Ok." He just accepted it. He should deny it to her, but she looks so happy in those clothes.
[Of course Gudao is okay with Jalter wearing a terrorist's drip. :Eyeroll Emote: ]
[GroundHippowdon: Ngl, I cannot blame Gudao on this one, those booty shorts look dangerous on Jeanne. ]
[Fashionista: It truly is a shame that Team Magma were such idiots. They really had a good style in uniform. ]
"How do I look?" suddenly Jalter nervously asked a question he has heard thousands of times before.
"It looks good on you Jalter." And he meant it. She really pulled off the look well.
Jalter's radiant smile nearly blinded him, the sheer joy she exuded made him pause, because at that moment, she looked exactly like Jeanne.
Unbeknownst to him, the surrounding women were all staring at the scene with envy.
"I don't know Master, the uniform seems to be a bit goofy looking if you ask me." Emiya threw his two cents at the fountain, and cracked the Jalter's smile into a frown.
He eyed Emiya, who was giving the Avenger servant a smug grin.
"I mean, not really? It's one of the best Evil Team uniforms. If you really want to see goofy, then you should see Team Galactic's uniform."
Emiya raised a brow, waiting for him to show proof.
And proof he shall provide.
He went to his wristband and quickly looked up Team Galactic on the archived internet, then, when he found the image he needed, he presented it for all his servants to see.
The looks on their faces were priceless.
"I stand corrected. That is atrocious." Emiya looked like he was trying to stay serious, but the light smile on his face showed what he actually thought.
"And it gets worse, apparently, in real life, this look is mandatory for all lower level grunts of Team Galactic. Which means everyone had to dye their hair a cyan color and get a bowl cut on top of dressing up in those silly uniforms." He told his servants, and many of them gained a grimace on faces.
[Gible_Archeologist donated 100 bits. ]
["For the record, while we in the Pokémon world also think their uniforms are goofy too, do not be fooled. These goofballs were all hardened criminals who were organized, disciplined, and were a major antagonistic military force that plagued Sinnoh years ago. "]
"And what did they plan to do? Unleash a legendary Pokémon to remove all tasteful fashion from your world?" Kriemhild said with a sarcastic tone.
"Actually, their Leader, Cyrus, pretty much decided he hated the universe and wanted to use the power of the creation trio, the legendaries who have dominion over space and time, to restart all of reality… while everyone was still living on it."
Hearing this, his servant's levity changed, all of them now staring at the image of the Galactic grunts more seriously.
[CasCu: You know, as much as I love ripping into how soft you kiddies are, you're all still hardy sons of bitches compared to most modern earth humans.
The kind of shit master is talking about is stuff that only happens in ancient legends, and yet, you guys deal with it on a constant basis. ]
[Hate to break it to you, but legendaries on our side don't exist as far as we know. ]
[CasCu: really now? Your legends aren't real? You sure that's the case? For all we know, your world has a moonlit world as well, working behind the scenes while all of you remain ignorant of it. ]
[The possibility exists, but it's unlikely until a legendary reveals themselves to the public. ]
[Hool4hHoops: Dumbasses have no idea, hehehe. ]
[HeavelyDivinePearl: Humans in our world have eyes, but they refuse to see Mt. Tai. ]
[Eon_Red: Hoomans are dum dums. ]
[Mew_TheSecond: Ignorance is a human's best friend. Familiarity is the blanket that helps them avoid seeing the ugly truth. ]
He was about to close the image, when a thought crossed his mind.
Da Vinci noticed his sudden pause, "something on your mind Gudao-kun?"
"I just realized that in some messed up way, if Cyrus actually succeeded, he would have unleashed his own version of the Incineration of Humanity on the Pokémon world. " Well, it's not a 1:1 scenario, because he doubted whatever is happening with the incineration has anything to do with restarting the universe from the beginning.
[Dragon's-Iris: Ah, shut up, shut up, shut up! I don't wanna hear it!! ]
[Gible_Archeologist: (O_O)]
[Gudao always knows how to say the most disturbing, and terrifying things at times. ]
[Great, now I'm not gonna be able to sleep at night after hearing that comparison being made. Thanks Gudao.]
[GudakoBot: Enough yapping, time for the last reward!!
Potshots and TTS have been upgraded!
Servants can now access Potshot Redeem and Text-to-Speech features!! However, servant chatters, keep in mind that you will still have to pay bits to use them, just like everyone else.
You can convert real money or goods into bits, or if you're broke bitch, you can earn bits by doing tasks in Chaldea or by babysitting chat when Gudao is either sleeping or… indesposed. ;)
Existing servants will be given a sum of bits if they took part in entertaining or educating chat during the Fuyuki and Orleans Singularities.
Remember that the same etiquette rules apply to you, so don't go making your Master's mission harder, or you will be barred from this privilege.
All rewards have been claimed. ]
Great. Now his servants are added to the list of people who can get hurt, even when he isn't actively putting them in danger.
"Woah, neat! So that means I can unleash an angel upon my enemies too?!" The sheer excitement in Jalter's voice was electrifying, and it dampened his negativity.
[Frisky1intheFlowers(MOD) donated 100 bits ]
["I think it's time I bring up some unfortunate news. Due to the incident with Officer Jenny when Kream was fighting Siegfried, I will be temp-banning her from rejoining the stream in the near future. "]
[GudakoBot: JennyPD-16528 has been Tempbanned.]
[I suppose that's fair. ]
[GudakoBot: Banlist rules: Anyone who negatively impacts Gudao's journey(attacking allies, Gudao, or exposing Gudao to danger, etc.) will have their name permanently displayed for all to see, even after being unbanned.
Anyone who is banned from watching the stream will be cursed, unable to see or hear about the stream, even through other mediums such as UTube or even through word-of-mouth. The same applies to your purchased merchandise.
The only exception being seeing the banlist rules, which will be the only thing people on the banlist will see when they try to log into the stream.
Changing your username or making a new account means nothing, I will know it's you.
If you want to see the list of shame, type: !banned-list. ]
[That's genuinely terrifying. ]
[Uuhhh… Isn't this technically a form of doxxing? If you get banned, all it would take is for someone to expose your identity is to show you an Fou Plushie and ask if you can see it. ]
[GudakoBot: You Pokémon folks and your doxxing. Just don't get banned, and you'll be fine. Also, if anyone tries to intentionally ban themselves… well, I'll leave that as a surprise. :) ]
[Thanks, I feel so much better, GudakoBot. ]
[GudakoBot: Btw, due to the behavior and actions of Chat last singularity, from now on, only Elite Four level trainers and above will be allowed to redeem Potshots in the next singularity.
To mitigate chaos, potshot redeems will also now need a majority vote for them to execute. 1 bit = 1 vote per person, damage will be split between voters equally. First choice to reach 100 bits will be executed, excess bits will be refunded.
For the sake of fairness, just like in the pokemon games, servants and normal chatters will take turns when using potshots, but servant redeemers will not require a voting system yet due to their low numbers. That is all. ]
[That's fucking bullshit!! ]
[Well, it's only fair. ]
[No it's not! I didn't do shit!! Why should we get all punished for something only one person does?!! ]
Looking over the change of rules, a sense of relief washed over him. At least now his pokemon chatters will be in less danger.
While they might not agree about this, this was for the best.
He's going to try to find a way to disable this feature somehow.
[Frisky1inTheFlowers(MOD): Incidentally, I just got a new job. So I won't be able to monitor Chat as actively as I used to. ]
[Huzzah!! ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): LET'S GOOOO!! NO MORE FRISK!! ]
[Frisky1inTheFlowers(MOD): Don't worry Iono-chan, you'll still see me quite often. ;)
That being said, I apologize for leaving so abruptly everyone but my employer is very insistent that I remain focused, so I will unfortunately miss some fun times. However, fear not, for there will come a time when we will all meet again with more frequency. ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): You have a job? Lol. What do you even do? ]
[Frisky1inTheFlowers(MOD): What's this? Curious about your future husband's economic stability? Then you have no need to fear. My employer rewards competency handsomely, and I just so happen to be very handsomely competent.]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): Lol sure, whatever you say flower boi. With you gone, we can finally have some wholesome sanity around here!! ]
The universe, as if taking Iono's declaration as a challenge, decided to say "bet."
Suddenly, the an ominous tune started to emit from the Chat's camera orb.
In the corner of his eye, he could see his chat had sped up to unbelievable speeds.
[BB Channel is raiding with a party of 10,000]
[Frisky1inTheFlowers(MOD): Oh dear. ]
[ཐི༏ཋྀཐི༏ཋྀ The Moon Butterfly has come to spread her Moon Cancer ཐི༏ཋྀཐི༏ཋྀ ] x 2165
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): Whahh!! ]
[ཐི༏ཋྀཐི༏ཋྀ The Moon Butterfly has come to spread her Moon Cancer ཐི༏ཋྀཐི༏ཋྀ ] x1228
[A raid?!! But I thought other channels couldn't raid into Gudao's stream!! ]
[ཐི༏ཋྀཐི༏ཋྀ The Moon Butterfly has come to spread her Moon Cancer ཐི༏ཋྀཐི༏ཋྀ ] x2306
"Master… you need to uninstall Twitch, now!"
Emiya's panicked voice startled him, "Emiya? What's wrong?!"
"Uninstall Twitch, quickly! It's a shame about the pokemon world, but they are too far gone. We need to save ourselves."
"I can't. That option is greyed out, so I have no control over it." He had explored the menu during the long stretches of walking during the Orleans Singularity. He had zero control on a lot of the Twitch user settings. So he couldn't do what Emiya asked even if he wanted to.
Suddenly, the familiar ding of TTS rang out, and rather than the usual robotic voice, the voice that spoke was, to put it bluntly, human.
But that wasn't the shocking part, what was shocking was the username that had donated bits to his channel.
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD) donated 100 bits ]
["Too late Nameless-san!! Because no world or barrier can hold me! The lovely butterfly of the moon...BB, the newest, cutest, and most degenerate moderator has returned!! " ]
His eyes widened in shock, "BB, is that you?!!"
"Master, please don't tell me you know her." Emiya was pleading with him to say no, sadly he was going to have to disappoint him.
"Yeah, she's like Frisk, one of the viewers of my old stream."
Emiya's hand smacked his own face in a facepalm, "this day just keeps getting worse, and worse."
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): Hello Gudao!! Yes, It's me!! It's good to be back!! ]
[ElectricalStreamerIono(MOD): Oh Arceus, not another one. AND she's a MOD too?!! ]
[PsychicMoostache(MOD): I should not be surprised, yet I am. ]
"How are you still alive? The incineration of humanity killed everyone."
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): Well, its rather difficult for the incineration to burn me when I'm an entire World Line away. And for the record, I do not qualify as "alive" by organic standards, because I am hyper advanced artificial intelligenge from an alternate world! a world where the moon is actually a giant, ancient supercomputer called "The Moon Cell." ]
"Uhh…." he looked at Kiyohime, who nodded much to his surprise.
"She's not lying. Everything she said is completely factual, despite its absurdity."
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): Yay, I got Kiyohime's seal of approval!! ]
[Mighty1Oak: Goodness, a moon sized supercomputer?!! How marvelously fascinating!! ]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): @ Burning_Jealousy Just for that, I will tell you all of Senpai's favorite hentai tags! Just gimme a moment, I'm going to look through his computer. ]
The temperature of the room suddenly got colder.
Wait, no, it wasn't the room that colder, it was his body.
His heart started beating as if he had been running for miles without stopping.
"BB don't you dare!!" His voice cracked as the anxious, and panicked words came rushing out of his mouth.
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): "Hmmm, let's see…. Your hentai folder is still called Hentai? Senpai is careless as always…
Vanilla sex? Boring.
Oh? I see your Samui folder has gotten bigger. …no Raikage in sight.
Exhibitionism… normally I'd say it's pretty wild of you Senpai, but considering the things you and Xochi-chan did in the summer, it's not surprising. Oh, and it's also all vanilla. ]
His breath hitched, and his heartbeat started to thrum in his ears.
'She saw?!! She fucking saw?!! How?!!'
[( ˶óᯅò) !! ] x243
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): HEY BITCH! YOU WENT TOO FAR. MOD OR NOT, YOU SHOULDN'T BE EXPOSING GUDAO'S PRIVACY!!! ]
"Master, who is this Xochi-Chan?" Jalter's voice held an edge that he had only heard when she was in France.
The whole room was now anticipating his answer.
"My ex girlfriend…. " he admitted.
"... Senpai had a girlfriend?" yes Mash, he did. He was anticipating this day would come, and that he was going to have a lot of uncomfortable questions he was going to have to answer.
Although he never expected it was going to be revealed this way… in front of everyone.
"Oh my Gudao-kun. Doing naughty things with your ex-girlfriend in public, I never expected that from you…" Da Vinci teased, and the jab actually hit him harder than normal.
Goddammit BB!!
["Your tastes haven't changed since we last met. How disappointing. Where's the good stuff, senpai? The corruption, the incest, or the NTR?!!" ]
"What kind of guy do you take me for BB?!!" he said with mild panic at even being associated with those tags.
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): The kind that gets pushed around by women stronger than you, but it seems you've grown more of a spine since the last time we met. Oh well, we'll have plenty of time to get reacquainted from now on. ~]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): Hey!! I'm talking to you @ Best_Kohai-BB(MOD), who do you think you are? Waltzing into our stream with your stupid unannounced raid like you own the place?! ]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): :SmugBB Emote: ]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): And what are you going to do about it Iono-chan? ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): Pory-Squad move out!! Ban this bitch!! ]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): Oh what cute little ducks. So these are Porygon 2's right? How adorable. Yoink.~ ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): …What did you do? ]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): I was attacked by a group of wild Pokémon, so I caught them. ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): Those weren't wild, they are MY porygon2s!!! (◣ _ ◢) ]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): Not anymore! ]
"BB, return those porygons you stole back to Iono. NOW." He said with an authoritative voice.
He didn't even care that his private life got exposed anymore, he wasn't going to let Pokémon theft happen in his stream.
["Hm, why should I? You can't really do anything to me Gudao-Senpai, I, on the other hand…" ]
The intercoms inside the summoning room crackled with static, which immediately put everyone on edge.
"...can definately do something to you.~ " BB's voice echoed in the room.
All of his servants immediately drew their weapons and formed a perimeter around him.
All of them were glaring at the surrounding room's ceiling.
"Goodness, what a dangerous entity you have summoned Gudao-kun." Da Vinci said in a teasing tone, but there was a hint of fear clearly present in her tone.
Then, another ding rang out and to his servant's relief, it was a familiar username.
[Frisky1intheFlowers(MOD) donated 100 bits ]
["That's enough teasing BB, you made your point. Now please, kindly return Iono's Porygons to her and stay in the confines of Chat. You of all people know what happens if you meddle too much right now. If you don't, I'll tell Hakunon.~ "]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): Frisk… ]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD) donated 1 bit ]
["Cheh, no fair involving Hakunon senpai you damn dick wizard. Fine. I'll return your next fling's pets back. " ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): They're back!! Wait… they evolved?!! ]
["Congrats Iono-chan, you are now the proud owner of the first and ONLY Porygon-80085 in the multiverse!!" ]
[Mighty1Oak: A NEW PORYGON EVOLUTION?!! ]
[Heart0f6old: 80085? That just spells boobs. ]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): Indeed it does Ethan-Kun! And now, Iono-chan will know what it's like to have them! ]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): FUCK YOU. ]
[Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): Sorry Iono-chan, I'm already taken. Well, I'm bored now. I'm leaving. Until next time! :BB Peace sign Emote:]
[Electrical★Streamer_Iono(MOD): GTFO. ]
[This summoning session is so fucking cursed bro. ]
✦✧✦
Kriemhild POV
"My Accomplice, I apologize for the bother, but will you be needing any assistance?" She asked her accomplice, who looked like he had just gone through a marathon of running. Which is to be expected, considering the unknown entity that crossed the barriers between worlds with no issue.
They hadn't allowed him to move even a single step away from where he was until Da Vinci could confirm Chaldea's system's were not completely compromised.
Thankfully, the entity known as BB only seemed to be playing with them, as if they were mere toys. While her presence was unnerving, they at least had some forms of deterrence from the other mod in the stream.
"Oh, no I'm done for the day. Is there something you need?"
"If you don't mind, I will be taking my leave. I wish to spend time with my husband."
She felt bad, she still deeply owed him for everything he's done for her, and here she was, being selfish again.
Her Accomplice smiled, "It's alright, go have fun with Siegfried. You two deserve it."
A bubble of excitement rose from her stomach, "yes!! Thank you!"
With his blessings given, she joyfully grabbed Siegfried by the arm.
Her sudden action caused him to flinch, "Kriemhild?!"
She narrowed her eyes at her husband, "Shut up, and come with me Siegfried," a sweet smile tugged at her lips, "you, and I have a lot of catching up to do~."
The big lug's face started to flush, "O-Ok."
She didn't give him a chance to think, started to drag him out of the room.
However, before she got far, a voice stopped her in her tracks.
"And where do you think you're going?" Emiya's voice cut through the lingering unease BB left behind.
His piercing golden-brown eyes bore into her, his arms crossed and his face stern. For some reason, she felt like she was being scolded by her father.
"To spend time with Siegfried?" she answered him, still confused about what he wanted.
"Not yet, you won't. Today has been hectic, and while I'd normally go rest somewhere to mentally recover from the absolute insanity I just witnessed… I have a feeling I won't see you again for the next few days if I do that. So I'm going to remind you now."
His eyes narrowed, "you owe me Kriemhild, and you gave your word to pay me back for helping you kill Fafnir." He uncrossed his arms, "And guess what? The piper has come to collect."
Her heart sank as those words reached her ears. In her excitement, she had nearly forgotten, she still owed Emiya. He might look different, but this was the same servant who had committed a heroic sacrifice to make up for her selfish actions.
The archer servant walked calmly towards her, his approaching form made her heart race.
Before he could reach her, Siegfried, being the lovable idiot he was, stepped between them.
"Emiya, I-" Siegfried tried to argue, but Emiya cut him off.
"Keep your heroism to yourself, Siegfried. This is between me and your delinquent wife."
"And if I don't? What will you do, Archer?" Siegfried manifested his blade, which made Emiya raise a brow.
By now, everyone was staring at them as if it was some sort of spectacle.
She sighed, "Siegfried, he's right. This does not involve you. Stand aside, now."
She would be damned if she allowed Siegfried to take responsibility for her actions, again.
Siegfried stared into her eyes for a moment, before he just sighed in resignation, "I understand. I'm sorry for getting in your way."
He steps aside, giving Emiya a clear path toward her.
Emiya snorted then continued to walk toward her, before she realized it, he was already in front of her.
He was shorter than Siegfried, but he still towered over her.
What was he going to ask of her? He wouldn't stoop as low as to demand she give up her body to repay her debt, would he?
"Show me your hands, palms facing up," her face felt warm, and she felt powerless, but she complied with a frustrated grunt.
Emiya stared at her hands with a pensive look, like he was staring at a cut of expensive meat.
"Hm, as I thought. Despite the fact that you wield a sword, you have no callouses."
She was starting to get annoyed, "of course my hands are soft, I was royalty! It's only natural that my hands are this soft!"
"Hm, it's not ideal. But I guess it will do."
Debt owed or not, she was getting sick of his vague wording "If you're going to use my body, just say it already. The sooner we get it done, the sooner I can spend time with Siegfried."
Emiya rolled his eyes, "please, don't get the wrong idea. I'm not so desperate for a woman's touch that I would stoop as low as going after another man's wife."
"Wait… then how are you going to make me pay you back?"
She jumped when Archer placed his hand on her shoulder, and sunk to her eye level.
His intense gaze made her shrink in fear.
If he's not going to ravage her, then what is he going to ask for?
What he said next, threw her, and every spectator watching, for a loop.
"Congratulations, you've been hired to become Chaldea's official and ONLY dishwasher for the duration of your stay."
Did she hear him right?
"Come again?"
Archer took his hand off her shoulder, and smirked at her.
"What? Disappointed I'm not going to do something to you? You need to lay off those modern romance novels, Kriemhild."
Fucking asshole was playing with her anxiety like it was a lyre!
"What's with that look? I'm not cruel enough to deprive a married couple from rekindling their love after years of not seeing each other." He stepped back and made a shooing motion, "so go, have fun the rest of the day and night with your husband."
His joking attitude vanished, "but next morning? Wash up, report to the kitchen, and get ready to start your shift. If you're even a second late, I'll add toilet cleaning to your assigned duties."
Disgusting, but acceptable.
"Is that it?"
"Yes. That's it. I need Gareth cooking, not washing dishes, so you will repay me by working for me. Don't worry, Gareth will train you tomorrow. So rest assured, your hands will stay nice and soft for your husband."
With his peace said, Emiya walked away, leaving her and Siegfried alone like he promised.
To demand royalty to dirty their hands… just to wash dishes.
She supposed it was a fitting punishment.
But she feared it wouldn't be enough.
With her constitution as a servant, she would be able to handle the strain of manual labor with ease.
Honestly, how hard can it be to wash some dirty dishes?
_______________________________________________________________________
Kriemhild's fate
_____________________________________________________________________________________
New Chatters:
Dan-TheMan: The young Interpol Board Member from "What do we Do?" interlude.
Fashionista: Claddia from Pokemon Legends ZA.
Best_Kohai-BB(MOD): Hello!! BB here!! From where? It doesn't matter. Some of you are wondering, "why am you here?" Because, the author, the desperate simp he is, wanted me in his FGO account. So when he promised I would show up on chat early if I graced his account, I did. But the greedy pig tried to cheat me by demanding another copy!
Honestly, I was tempted to not answer, but I really wanted to show up, so I did, and now here I am!! Don't worry, I'll take good care of Chat, you can trust me~
__________________________________________________________________________________
AN: Hope you guys enjoyed this week's chappie. I still need to work on Septem a bit more, so I might have a few more chaldea chappies before we head into Septem proper.
Also guys, reminder that sometimes I forget to include reactions in chappies, because I am human. It's pretty easy to lose myself in text sometimes.
Anyways, thank you so much for reading and I'll see you next week.