STOP EVERYTHING!
You're probably wondering...
How is it that the Absolute Ruler of the Underworld is on such familiar terms with his Right Hand?
And why does the great Maou Lucifer call the Original Demon King "Father"?
Well, as you'll recall, Satan is God's antithesis.
So how exactly did he end up as God's antithesis?
Easy.
Before creating the angels, and even before creating humans, God had doubts.
Yes, doubts. So don't go believing that absolute nonsense about "God being perfect," because even He wasn't perfect.
So if Irina, Asia, or Xenovia ever tell you something like that...
Take it with a grain of salt.
Perfection is nothing but an empty word humans invented to name everything they wished they could be but couldn't.
So, because He had doubts, He created His other half.
His counterpart.
His advisor.
He was the one who invented the very concept of "duality."
And He gave him half of His total power.
Just think about it — if my father could effortlessly wipe the floor with the seven Princes of the Underworld and every Seraph at their absolute peak using only 20% of his total power...
Just how powerful was God?
Very.
Overwhelmingly so.
Even I, right now, at my own absolute peak, would be nothing but pathetic garbage next to God's full power.
Luckily for his enemies, he doesn't have it all.
Anyway, my father was born.
With full clarity of good and evil.
Granted free will.
Sooner rather than later, his counterpart realized he needed a name.
God named him Elohim.
My father spent the first two thousand years of his existence advising God.
Gaining wisdom. Gaining experience.
It was my father's idea to create the angels in the first place.
They thought it over, researched, compared results, debated the ethics of creating life (they debated because it was Elohim's literal job to challenge everything God thought), and plenty more besides.
And so, through God's tremendous effort and Elohim's frazzled nerves, the first angel was created.
Michael.
Being the first angel ever created, he became God's Right Hand and began learning directly from Him.
Elohim didn't mind that one bit.
In fact, he was the first to congratulate him, and the most enthusiastic about his future.
To this day, Michael still carries the same drive to fulfill his mission that Elohim first instilled in him.
Then, with growing confidence and Elohim's continued guidance, God created the three Seraphs who would become Michael's "direct siblings," and by extension, his direct disciples.
Gabriel, "The Angel of Children," and the most beautiful (and powerful) woman in Heaven.
Uriel, "The Fire of God."
Raphael, "The Angel of Healing."
Together with Michael, "God's Advisor," they formed the group that would later become known as the "Four Great Seraphs."
After them came the rest of the Seraphs, and all those legions of angels who would later be wiped out by their own brothers.
One day, Elohim, curious what it would feel like to have "disciples" of his own, asked his counterpart for permission to create angels so he could teach them himself.
God, seeing the curiosity in his counterpart, granted the request — after all, since he was a part of Himself...
What could possibly go wrong?
And so, through Elohim's titanic effort (it being his first time) and amid tremendous nervousness from both God and his dear friends the Seraphs, he succeeded.
Elohim had created an angel.
That day became historic in Heaven.
Celebrations erupted in every corner of the sky — angels applauded, archangels sang, cherubs launched spears of light like fireworks, and the thrones documented the day in the newly-founded "library"...
And the Seraphs...
Oh, if you could have seen them.
They were positively euphoric.
Screaming, jumping, kicking their legs — every last trace of the seriousness God had forced them to maintain in front of the other angels vanished, if only for that one day.
God was proud, just like Elohim, but unlike the rest of Heaven, the two of them maintained complete composure.
At a gesture from God, all of Heaven fell silent.
"Well then, Elohim," God said solemnly, drawing the attention of every angel present.
He was about to ask the question everyone had been waiting for!
"What will you name your new disciple — the new brother to everyone gathered here?" God continued, gazing at the newly-created Seraph with something like paternal instinct.
Yes — a Seraph! That's exactly what this new angel was.
Elohim struck a thoughtful pose, looking down at the swaddled baby in his arms — twelve small white wings, hair as white as snow, eyes gray as storm clouds, an unmistakable sign that this little angel was going to be exceptionally hyperactive.
Silence reigned over Heaven.
Not a single soul dared to so much as breathe.
They simply watched.
Waiting, expectant, for the name of their new little brother.
Then, every heart in Heaven skipped a beat at once.
Elohim, their spiritual advisor and second Father, was about to speak!
"This little one shall be named Lucifer — 'the Morning Star' — because he has illuminated the paternal love I so longed to experience, which God has granted me this very day!" Elohim proclaimed, solemn joy in his voice, lifting his newborn angel — now disciple, no, his "son" — high into the air.
3... 2... 1...
"Whooooooooooooooo!" all the angels shouted in unison, launching countless spears of light skyward in place of fireworks.
"LET THE BABY SLEEP, YOU BUNCH OF SAVAGE BEASTS!" Gabriel roared, unleashing her aura with brutal force, sending every angel except the Seraphs flying away as fast as they possibly could.
"Gabriel, I think that was a bit much," Michael said, a giant anime-style sweatdrop forming on his head.
"It wasn't too much at all — I just happen to think it's a sin to interrupt a baby's sleep," Gabriel said, arms crossed, annoyed.
"No wonder they call her 'The Angel of Children,'" Metatron whispered to Remiel.
"Did you say something, dear brother?" Gabriel asked innocently... while forming a spear of light... already bigger than an Imperial Star Destroyer from Star Wars.
Yes, that big. And in just a few seconds.
"N-no, I d-didn't s-say a th-thing, d-dear s-sister," he stammered, shaking like a leaf.
"That's what I thought, dear brother. That's what I thought," Gabriel said calmly, dispelling the spear.
"Would you like to hold Lucifer for a moment, dear daughter?" Elohim asked, approaching with the now-awake baby, who was finishing a bottle of milk from Michael's own special reserve, which he'd gladly handed over for the sake of his dear little brother's wellbeing.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!" Gabriel squealed with delight, taking little Lucifer into her arms. He'd just finished his milk and was staring intently up at her face.
"Oh, he's just adorable!" Gabriel squealed, tickling little Lucifer's belly, who giggled happily in response.
Everyone watched the little one with pure tenderness...
Until the unthinkable happened.
"Mama," Lucifer said cheerfully, pointing at Gabriel, and every single one of them — Gabriel, the other Seraphs, God, and Elohim — froze in stunned silence at the sudden, unexpected burst of intelligence from Elohim's "son."
The reactions varied wildly.
Gabriel turned red. So red she looked like a lantern.
Michael was frozen solid — if this had been an American cartoon, his jaw would have hit the floor.
Raphael was on the verge of hysterics, not sure whether to cry from sheer emotion or laugh at Gabriel's expense.
Uriel's eyes were wide as saucers.
The other Seraphs looked exactly the same as Uriel.
God stood there thoughtfully, staring intently at the newborn.
And my father...
THUD
Had fainted clean away from the emotion of it all.
Years passed, and those years turned into centuries.
Little Lucifer grew up, and became a Seraph in every sense of the word.
Elohim had taught him everything he knew, and Lucifer looked up to him as his Father, loving him even more than God Himself.
By then, Lucifer had become the joy of Heaven, wandering around looking for anyone he could help. The angels respected him deeply, and would often come to him seeking spiritual guidance, which he happily gave. When his own wisdom wasn't enough, he'd go to his father for help, and Elohim always supported him without fail.
One day, Elohim started thinking.
He was so deep in thought that God actually began to worry.
Days had passed, and his other half hadn't moved a single muscle.
Hadn't even blinked.
Worried for the wellbeing of his best friend, brother, and advisor, God sent Lucifer to find out what was going on.
Lucifer, upon learning of his Father's state, flew as fast as his wings could carry him to find him.
"Father, are you alright?" Lucifer asked, clearly worried.
"Lucifer, I want to ask you something, and I want you to answer me as honestly as you can," Elohim said.
Lucifer grew nervous.
There were very few times his Father ever got this serious.
You could count them on one hand.
"Of course, Father. Anything," Lucifer said, recovering his composure.
"Would you like to have siblings, the way the other Seraphs do?" Elohim asked, direct and to the point.
Lucifer thought it over.
After a moment, he answered.
"Yes. I would like to have siblings," Lucifer said honestly — because no matter what he might have said otherwise, he'd always felt a pang of envy watching the closeness between God's other Seraphs.
"Then so it shall be," Elohim said.
A while later, Elohim went to God and laid out his wish.
God agreed, and granted him permission to create angels, since — surprising as it might sound — creating them was exhausting work, and He needed the time freed up for a new project.
The [System].
God had set his sights on creating humanity, and he needed a [System] in place to carry out miracles on Earth.
So the task of creating angels fell to his counterpart, Elohim.
Besides...
What could possibly go wrong?
And so, Elohim began creating angels.
First, he would create Lucifer's direct siblings, and only after that, the rest.
Elohim created six direct siblings, spacing out their creation so the older ones could grow up and later look after the younger ones.
A piece of advice God himself had given him.
Then, one day, Elohim got to work.
Through tremendous effort, and with Lucifer fretting anxiously over his Father's wellbeing the whole time, his first sibling was born.
Beelzebub, "The Angel of Nature."
Then came the others.
Asmodeus, "The Genius of Heaven."
Leviathan, "The Angel of Cold," and the second most beautiful (and powerful) woman in Heaven.
Belphegor, "God's Rest" (the angels sometimes thought God and Elohim were actually the same person, and to avoid confusion, they just called them both "God").
Amon, "The Angel of Elegance."
Mammon, "God's Guard" (this particular Seraph stuck to his Father like gum — by his own words, it was "in case an enemy ever tries to attack my Father, I'll be right there to defend him").
Together with Lucifer, "The Morning Star," they became known as "The Seven Heavenly Princes."
After that, more angels began to be created, and by Elohim's grace, fully 50% of all the angels in Heaven were born from him.
There were simply too many angels.
They had to expand all seven circles of Heaven just to fit them all.
And then, out of nowhere, the day arrived.
A day that would forever mark the lives of God and Elohim.
And of all their children.
God decided to create humanity.
But first, he had to put the Earth in order.
It was nothing but a mass of volcanic rock, shrouded in darkness and shadow.
So God said: "Let there be light."
He imbued a sphere with sacred power.
Elohim, seeing that the planets throughout the galaxy would eventually collide with Earth sooner or later, created the laws of orbit, rotation, revolution, and all those other things I honestly can't be bothered to explain.
Giving rise to the sun, and scattering the darkness.
But the darkness was too vast.
So Elohim, as God's counterpart, decided the darkness wasn't evil — it was necessary for the course of life to unfold.
And so God separated the light from the darkness, and Elohim created a small satellite that reflected the sun's light back down onto the Earth, creating light within the darkness.
The time when God's star appeared came to be called "day."
And the time when the darkness returned, lit only by Elohim's mirror-satellite, came to be called "night."
God named the star "the sun."
Elohim named the satellite "the moon."
And that was the evening and the morning of the first day.
Then God said: "Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, to separate the waters from the waters."
God split the waters of Heaven's floor apart and cast them down toward the earth.
Elohim, seeing that the water would simply return to Heaven, created the laws of gravity and physics, forcing the water to stay bound to the Earth.
The water, rebellious, evaporated and tried to make its way back up to Heaven, so God gathered the evaporated water together, forming clouds and rain as a way of renewing it. For its disobedience in refusing to follow its Lord's commands, He sentenced the water to repeat the same cycle over and over again, until the End of Time.
And that was the origin of the water cycle.
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Children, just in case it isn't obvious — don't you dare go mentioning any of this to anyone.
This is a secret only a handful of people know, and it must never come to light.
If this secret ever got out, faith would practically vanish from the face of the Earth.
And don't you dare cite this explanation if this topic ever comes up in your studies.
Odds are no one will believe you, and they'll just write you off as crazy.
So, with nothing more to add for now, let's continue...
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