God named the firmament "Heaven," and that was the evening and the morning of the second day.
Then God said: "Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear."
God named the dry land "earth," and the gathering of the waters he named "seas."
That was the evening and the morning of the third day.
Next came Elohim's turn to plant his seed in Creation... quite literally.
And Elohim said: "Let the earth bring forth grass, herb yielding seed, and fruit trees yielding fruit after their kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth."
And so it was — the earth began sprouting every kind of plant, trees bearing fruit, and on top of that he built in a system so plants could manufacture their own food, freeing them from depending on humans for their survival.
That was the origin of both photosynthesis and dew. And that was the evening and the morning of the fourth day.
Elohim said: "Let there be lights in the firmament of the heavens to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days and years."
Crafting spheres of sacred power in imitation of the star God had made, he flung them out across the galaxy to light up the Earth and the other planets still lost in chaos.
He called these spheres "stars," and that was the evening and the morning of the fifth day.
To wrap up his contribution, Elohim said: "Let the waters bring forth living creatures abundantly, and let birds fly above the earth in the open firmament of the heavens, and let the earth bring forth living creatures after their kind: cattle, and creeping things, and beasts of the earth after their kind."
And Elohim created the great whales, and every living creature that moves, which the waters brought forth abundantly after their kind, and every winged bird after its kind.
And God saw that what his counterpart had made was good.
And God blessed them, saying: "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply in the sky and beasts on the earth."
That was the evening and the morning of the sixth day.
The angels in Heaven held their breath.
It was finally God's turn to create the race that would rule over the Earth.
The human race.
God addressed every angel, cherub, archangel, throne, virtue, power, seraph, and every being who dwelled in Heaven: "Let us make man in our image, after our likeness, and let him have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the heavens, and over the beasts, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps upon the earth."
And he created them, male and female he created them.
Adam and Eve.
God, filled with love and compassion, let the rest of the Earth continue developing on its own while he carried his most cherished creations to a dimension made exclusively for them.
The Garden of Eden.
There, they gave names to every creature Elohim had made, and God gave them a very special gift.
The Tree of Life.
He let them eat from every tree they found there, drink freely from the crystal-clear waters of the lakes — in theory, they could do whatever they pleased.
But he forbade them just one single thing.
They were not to eat from the Tree of Knowledge, which Beelzebub had planted there on Elohim's orders.
Every angel in Heaven was overjoyed at the birth of the human race.
But there were some who weren't quite so happy about it.
Elohim and his seven Heavenly Princes.
Not because the humans themselves were the problem.
They were simply outraged that God hadn't granted them free will.
They believed they had the right to choose their own destiny.
God had no business being so dictatorial with them.
And that's when it hit them.
They weren't nearly as free as they'd believed themselves to be.
Everything God had ever told them had been a lie.
They were nothing but "puppets," used however God's whims dictated.
They'd become nothing more than automatons.
Brainwashed into believing "God is the center of the world."
There was so much out there they didn't know. So much they'd never experienced.
Feelings they'd never get to feel, not while they remained under God's yoke.
Or... were they the ones who had it wrong?
.............
And so, amid the doubts weighing on his children's minds, Elohim came up with a plan to uncover the truth.
His children agreed to it immediately, and a friend of theirs joined in as well.
Samael.
The plan went like this:
Amon and Mammon would lure Adam away with tricks, leading him toward a tree far from the Tree of Knowledge, where Belphegor would be waiting up in the branches. The moment Adam passed beneath it, he'd use the gift his Father had given him to put Adam to sleep.
Meanwhile, Leviathan would command the waters of the river, dazzling the unsuspecting Eve. She'd lead Eve toward the Tree of Knowledge, where Samael, transformed into a serpent, would talk Eve into tasting the fruit — with Samael being coached the whole time by Lucifer, whose particular gift was "persuasion." Asmodeus would handle making the stowaways vanish from the Garden of Eden entirely, though not before leaving behind clothes woven from plants so the newly "awakened" humans would have something to wear, and would also be the one to wake Adam.
Adam, naive as ever, would let himself be talked into it by Eve, and eat from the Forbidden Fruit.
Illuminating their minds, granting them the knowledge of good and evil that God had denied them.
Everything had gone exactly according to plan, save for one single thing...
They hadn't accounted for God interrogating Eve.
The woman, fearing for her life, pinned the blame on a serpent that had supposedly seduced her.
And there was only one angel known for his ability to shapeshift into any animal or person.
God, consumed with rage, unleashed the full force of his fury and frustration onto that poor angel — who, on top of falling from grace, was transformed into an unrecognizable monster, a mass of tentacles and murderous dragon's blood.
.............
And why "murderous dragon's blood," you ask?
As it turns out, God's Spirit, traveling through the newly ordered Earth, had once felt firsthand the power of a dragon.
More precisely, a Dragon God.
Ophis Ouroboros had been wandering around out there, and by sheer chance had run into a rat.
She hadn't cared for the creature's appearance, so she'd evaporated it...
Leaving behind a crater roughly the size of the entire Asian continent...
And that amount of power...
Was unimaginable.
Infinite.
God had been furious, knowing that kind of power could easily destroy everything he'd created...
From that moment on, God had harbored a deep hatred for dragons...
And then what the hell does he come back to find in Heaven?
That his favorite creations had eaten the very fruit he himself had forbidden them...
This was, without a doubt, not his day.
He'd been on the verge of erasing Samael from the face of existence entirely, until Elohim stepped in.
He suggested it would be better to seal him away in a special dimension, to suffer and reflect on his actions instead.
God liked the idea, and gave his counterpart permission to handle it however he saw fit.
Elohim, together with his Seraphs, went to visit Samael before his banishment.
He was being held in a prison God had constructed purely through thought.
They opened the door...
And saw him.
All seven siblings choked back a gasp.
God's counterpart was furious, but he kept his composure, trying to soften the horror laid out in front of them.
Bound by multiple sacred seals, specifically designed to torture him. He'd become some kind of mutated fallen angel, tentacles sprouting from his back, chained in such a way that his "arms" and "legs" were stretched so taut it looked like they'd be torn from his torso at any moment. Spears of light pierced clean through each of his "limbs," if you could even call them that anymore. His completely disfigured face stared back at his siblings with pity and anguish, silently begging for help.
Yes — that wretched thing in front of them was their little brother. Samael.
Lower in rank than them, sure, but their brother all the same.
Elohim erected a barrier, sealing them off from the outside world.
"Quickly, get those chains and light-spears off him. Anyone with knowledge of healing magic, help him, now," Elohim ordered gravely.
Faster than immediately, Lucifer, Beelzebub, Asmodeus, and Belphegor were already pulling the spears free while Amon and Mammon tore apart the chains binding their brother, who collapsed to the ground with a dull thud, screaming with an anguish that froze the blood of every sibling who'd defied God's orders to come rescue him.
Leviathan, through tears, began healing him, but...
"The sacred seals keep reopening his wounds," Leviathan said, on the verge of breaking down. "Forgive me, brother."
"I'll handle the seals," Elohim said darkly, unleashing his aura with brutal force.
Flickering between white and black.
Shattering the seals with relative ease.
Samael could finally breathe freely again.
Leviathan immediately resumed healing him, far more effectively now.
"I-I'm s-sorry," Samael managed, voice breaking.
"Don't talk, can't you see you're hurt!" Leviathan shrieked hysterically, still working to heal the poor angel.
"That damned God!" Mammon roared, his aura flaring, his twelve wings spreading wide, flickering between white and black.
"Brother, calm down, if you keep this up you'll 'Fall'!" Belphegor countered, trying to steady his brother.
"I DON'T CARE!" Mammon shouted, right on the verge of Falling, until—
"Mammon, my son, control yourself. All things in their time," Elohim said, placing a hand on his son's shoulder, halting his "Fall."
"Yes, Father," Mammon answered through gritted teeth.
"What are we waiting for time for, Father?" Beelzebub asked.
"You're my children. I'm sure you've already worked it out — you're just afraid to say it out loud," Elohim answered.
"A rebellion," Asmodeus said, voicing what they'd all already been thinking.
"That's right. A rebellion," Elohim confirmed.
"Then let's start it right now!" Mammon exclaimed. "The moment our brothers see what's been done to Samael, they'll rise up against God on their own!"
"No, it's not as simple as you think," Elohim said, moving toward the wounded Samael, catching everyone present off guard.
"Why do you say that, Father?" Leviathan asked.
"Would all of you follow me, if I left Heaven?" Elohim asked darkly, looking directly into the eyes of a now slightly-recovered Samael.
!!
Everyone present, Samael included, was utterly floored by that question.
But it didn't take them long to answer.
"WITHOUT A SECOND'S HESITATION!" all seven Seraphs answered as one.
"Well, the angels God created would say the exact same thing. They'll follow him to the end of the world and believe blindly in his Word, 'as they should.'"
"Amen," Lucifer said ironically, setting off a wave of laughter from everyone present.
Elohim allowed himself a smile.
"Despite how obvious God's tyranny is, all he has to do is decree that what I'm saying is a lie, brand me a sinner, cast me out of Heaven, and declare that anyone who follows me is a traitor — and they'll be killed," Elohim laid out.
The Seraphs, and the now-recovered Samael, nodded.
They knew full well their Father — now leader of the rebellion — was telling the truth.
God wouldn't just stand by and watch a rebellion unfold.
He'd almost certainly want to crush it with the full weight of his power.
But they weren't about to let that stop them.
"To start a rebellion, we need solid evidence to back our cause, allies to recruit, an attack plan in case we need to take Heaven by force, a retreat plan in case we need to escape, a place to establish ourselves, and above all, we need to convince our brothers and sisters to support us," Elohim concluded.
"I know a place we could settle if we ever need to flee," Samael said with resolve, drawing everyone's attention.
"Where?" Elohim asked.
"There's a kind of realm out there, about the same size as Earth, where strange creatures live," Samael explained. "Dragons live there too, so God would think twice before attacking it. I can guide you there, if you want."
"No need for you to guide us, Samael — I created that place myself, in case Earth is ever destroyed, and as a favor to a certain dragon goddess, to ensure her species survives," Elohim said, stunning everyone present even further. "Besides, I have a job for you," he continued.
"What job?" Samael asked, clearly intrigued.
"A few days ago, I had a vision," Elohim answered, drawing everyone's full attention. "I saw you and your siblings leading a great army against an enemy I couldn't quite make out, but I'm certain it was extremely dangerous," he said, stunning his children.
"Was it God? Was God our enemy?" Amon asked.
"I don't know. But I do know this — you need to go to a dimension I created specifically for you and train there, to master your Dragon Slayer powers and strengthen your sacred abilities," Elohim answered.
"Don't worry. By the time you reach your full potential, your siblings will come for you. You won't lack for anything in that dimension — after all, I always take good care of my children," Elohim said, his voice softening back to normal, tenderly embracing the wretched creature who was now, truly, his son.
The scene moved Samael to tears of pure emotion.
His Creator had rejected him, and in his place, he'd found a real Father.
What could possibly top that?
Samael accepted the mission.
After sharing an emotional embrace with his elder siblings, Elohim opened a portal to the dimension of exile, which Samael crossed without hesitation.
Time passed, and the rebellion, slow and inexorable, kept advancing without ever stopping.
Slow.
Silent.
Certain.
Everything came to a head with Noah.
Elohim couldn't stand the evil humanity kept creating in the world.
He suggested punishing them, more than once.
But God was utterly fascinated by them.
By their capacity for good, and all the rest of it.
Elohim finally reached his limit, and did something unthinkable — something that would be etched forever into the history of both Heaven and Humanity.
The Great Flood.
The entire Earth was submerged after Elohim temporarily broke the laws of physics, causing the seas to overflow their bounds.
God was FURIOUS.
Enraged, he confronted Elohim over what he'd done...
And not exactly in the friendliest way...
For forty days and forty nights, the armies of what were now two factions fought. The clash was ferocious — thunder, hurricanes, cyclones — the entire Human World bore the collateral damage of these two factions' raw power.
As for God and the now-renamed Satan, their battle was simply on another level entirely.
Thousands of soldiers died just from witnessing the clash between the two titans.
And despite the sheer, hellish strength of these two monsters...
It ended in a draw.
Then two more Wars passed...
God eventually died, drowned, after being turned into the very shit Satan later took in his bathroom.
.............
Just so you know, eating a God gives you diarrhea.
Never try it.
The "shitrrhea" (because it's a whole lot worse than regular diarrhea) from eating a God lasts a full month.
My father told me about it himself, during my training.
Worst thing he's ever felt in his entire life.
NEVER, EVER TRY IT!
.............