Episode 156: First Mission: Cat and Dog War
『 At this moment, Elder Chen from the Small Chicken Island Coast Guard appeared by the roadside. Seeing the robot's destructive actions, he immediately shouted to halt it.
"Damaging public property incurs a five-hundred-yuan fine!"
The robot and Seven simultaneously turned their gazes toward Elder Chen. Immediately, the robot unleashed a laser, sending Elder Chen flying.
"Ouch~"
A cry of alarm echoed from the screen.
Having neutralized the threat, the robot retracted its instruments into its body.
With another outstretched hand, a yellow laser beam locked onto Seven.
Witnessing this, Seven was first stunned, then his expression sharpened.
He brought two fingers together.
"Focusing my spirit, I command the scissors with my Qi!"
At the wedding venue, the scissors Seven had left behind were enveloped in a blue light. In a blink, they sliced through the host's hair.
The scissors spun and circled in the air, while the robot, unwilling to be outdone, repelled Seven with a laser.
Simultaneously, the scissors severed one of the robot's arms.
Seven stood stiffly, scissors in hand, but finally, his strength gave out, and the scissors clattered to the ground.
"I... I can't go on." Seven collapsed.
The robot stared at its severed arm, advancing step by step.
Just at this critical juncture...
"Wait! Hold on! First, tell me, who am I? Why are you trying to kill me?"
"According to recorded data, you are—"
The yellow light in the robot's palm surged, but it couldn't finish its sentence.
A flash of blue light, and a masked woman with a ponytail and a long blade, with a single strike, decapitated the robot! 』
『 .....』
〜Dimensional livestream, Chat Room〜
[ Umaru Doma (Himouto): "Who? How did she just chop off its head so quickly?" ]
[ Najenda (Akame Ga Kill) "Who is this person?" ]
[ Haibara Ai (Detective Conan): "This is a true assassin; the previous one seemed more like a joke." ]
[ Amber (Genshin Impact): "What an amazing big sister." ]
[ Aogami Pierce (A Certain Magical Index): "A beautiful and powerful young lady." ]
[ .....]
『 Seven stared at the newcomer, his face suddenly filled with shock.
But in an instant, the surprise transformed into anger.
"At least let it finish speaking before you slice it up!"
Seven fumed internally, muttering to himself.
"How do you have a Killer League badge?"
MeihuaShisan's words carried a chilling edge as she turned her blade, pointing it directly at Seven.
"Killer League badge? Could she be talking about that thing?"
Seven's mind raced, and his eyes instinctively darted to the badge on the ground.
"Not speaking? Then prepare to meet your end."
Seeing Seven remain silent, MeihuaShisan lowered her head and uttered coldly.
"Mission failed, self-destruct sequence initiated!"
Just then, this message rang out from the remaining head of the robot.
"This is bad."
Upon hearing this, MeihuaShisan vanished in a flash.
Seizing the opportunity while MeihuaShisan was gone, Seven scrambled to his feet and lunged for the assassin's token that had fallen to the ground.
At the moment the robot self-destructed, a colossal mushroom cloud erupted from the ground with a thunderous roar. Amidst the billowing black smoke, Little Flying Chicken tugged at Seven's waistband, desperately fleeing the epicenter of the explosion. 』
『 .....』
〜Dimensional livestream, Chat Room〜
[ Umaru Doma (Himouto): "It self-destructed in the end?" ]
[ Oyama Mahiro (Onimai): "What a shame, that robot must have been very expensive?" ]
[ Seven (Scissor Seven): "Hey, hey, hey, I was almost blown to bits, and you're worried about how expensive that guy was?" ]
[ .....]
『 The night was deep.
Little Flying Chicken perched atop a telephone pole, his head wrapped in bandages, looking somewhat comical.
"Hey, wake up, stop dreaming!"
Dai Bo kicked Seven in the waist, then slapped Seven's still-unconscious face several times.
"It was just a haircut. How did it turn into another major explosion?"
Seeing Seven open his eyes, Dai Bo hopped to the ground and casually tossed him a steamed bun.
"The mission's botched, so it's steamed buns for dinner tonight!"
Dai Bo announced in a cold tone.
"If you don't eat it, I won't be polite. These steamed buns actually taste quite good."
"Perhaps I'm truly starving?"
Upon hearing this, Seven immediately squatted down without a word.
Then, in three swift bites, he wolfed down the steamed bun.
After the meal, Seven paced to the edge of the rooftop, his face filled with melancholy.
"Dai Bo, how do you think one can find those Killer League members?"
Seven gazed at the night sky, his eyes full of confusion.
"Mysterious organizations like the Killer League have always sought us out. To actively seek them? There's no way."
Dai Bo said, one hand in his pocket, the other toying with his tie.
"However, if you can squeeze into the top hundred of the assassin rankings, many assassin organizations will naturally rush to find you, vying to recruit you."
After speaking, Dai Bo meticulously tied his tie, tidying his appearance slightly.
"Let's just become assassins. You can be my manager, and I'll strive to break into the top hundred of the assassin rankings!"
Seven clutched the token in his hand, his eyes sparkling.
He then tucked the token into his pocket, put on his hat, and turned to look at Dai Bo, his expression resolute.
At this moment, the bottom of the screen displayed their current identities.
⟦ Seven ⟧
" Senior Hairstylist "
" Skill: Command Scissors with Qi "
" Assassin Ranking: 17369th "
"I appreciate your ignorance. I've already rented the Grand Spa Salon downstairs. From now on, that will be our base for assassin missions."
Dai Bo turned and pointed at Seven.
⟦ Dai Bo ⟧
" Grand Spa Salon Owner "
" Skill: Invent Gadgets "
" Assassin Ranking: ?th "
"Besides, I even got you a new pair of scissors. They can cut through anything, no matter how strange."
Dai Bo turned and pulled a brand-new pair of scissors from his pocket, tossing them to Seven with a whoosh.
Seven caught them steadily, looking down at the scissors in his hand with a curious expression.
"Just a moment, I'm putting up the couplets now!"
Dai Bo shouted to Seven as he put up the couplets. Once they were in place, Seven pushed open the salon door, and the warm light inside instantly spilled out.
At dawn,
Seven, Dai Bo, and Little Flying Chicken stood in unison at the salon entrance.
"Hey, beautiful lady, would you like to come in for a hair wash?"
Seven, holding his scissors, smiled and asked Director Jiang, who was walking by with her hands behind her back.
"We also have special services, hehehe!"
Dai Bo chimed in at the opportune moment, adding fuel to the fire.
"Hmph, what a bunch of idle good-for-nothings!"
Hearing this, Director Jiang paused, scrutinized Dai Bo and Seven from head to toe, contemptuously tossed out a remark, and then walked away without looking back.
Seven and Dai Bo exchanged glances, the atmosphere momentarily awkward. 』
『 .....』
〜Dimensional livestream, Chat Room〜
[ Paimon (Genshin Impact): "It seems like they do come across as a bit perverted." ]
[ Seven (Scissor Seven): "I'm not a pervert, how could I be a pervert?" ]
[ Dai Bo (Scissor Seven): "Alright, alright, stop embarrassing yourself." ]
[ Chika Fujiwara (Love Is War): "Perhaps what they said was a bit off, it doesn't look like an indecent place." ]
[ Yu Ishigami (Love Is War): "Hehehe, sometimes it's not what it seems!~" ]
[ Chika Fujiwara (Love Is War): "Huh?" ]
[ Miyuki Shirogane (Love Is War): "Ahem." ]
[ .....]
『 The scene shifts.
A cold wind howled. Under the moon, several cat figures quietly appeared on the rooftops.
"Tomorrow, we'll have to fight those mad dogs!"
A cat wearing sunglasses and thick clothes said slowly.
Behind it, four younger cats stared at the leader cat's back.
"Any good ideas?" The leader cat wagged its tail continuously, turning to ask its four companions behind it.
"I've calculated, surrendering is simpler!" At this moment, a small cat behind it, counting on its paws, pretended to calculate and said.
Upon hearing this, the leader cat flicked its tail, and with a "meow" of agony, the small cat was sent flying.
"How about we give them some cat poop coffee to try?" Another younger cat, seeing the previous scene, proposed in a moment of quick thinking, but was also mercilessly flung away by the leader cat's tail.
The remaining two younger cats trembled with fear.
"Hmm..." At this juncture, the third younger cat was about to speak,
But it was swatted away by the leader cat's tail. "Meow, I haven't even said anything yet!" it wailed in mid-air.
Only one cat remained on the rooftop.
"I found a small card on the ground! The kind they throw at hotel entrances!"
"It's not one of those 'swim and fitness, learn more' ones!"
This last younger cat hastily pulled out a card, speaking at a rapid pace.
The leader cat was about to flick it away as usual,
"This seems to be an assassin's information! We can send it to deal with the dog leader!" Seeing the tail about to sweep, the small cat was so scared its body almost twisted.
It frantically covered its face with the card.
Unexpectedly, the leader cat didn't swat it away but took the card and examined it carefully.
"Assassin Seven?" The leader cat saw Seven's contact information and some introductions on the card. 』
『 .....』
〜Dimensional livestream, Chat Room〜
[ Yukinoshita Yukino (Oregairu): "This cat, is it standing?" ]
[ Dai Bo (Scissor Seven): "What's so strange about that? I'm a rooster." ]
[ Dai Bo (Scissor Seven): "In our world, this is quite normal." ]
[ Yukinoshita Yukino (Oregairu): "Alright." ]
[ Yuigahama Yui (Oregairu): "Then, what about the little dogs?" ]
[ Dai Bo (Scissor Seven): "Of course, they exist too." ]
[ .....]
『 Soon, the leader cat directly contacted Seven.
"As a professional assassin," Seven said with a serious face.
"First, move your foot, then we can talk."
"You're stepping on my tail," Seven hadn't even finished speaking when the small cat hurriedly interrupted.
"My apologies!" Seven quickly moved aside.
The small cat lifted its tail, which had bristled from being stepped on.
"As a professional assassin," Seven continued to emphasize his professionalism to the cat boss,
"I never question the reasons for a mission."
But before he could finish—
"Before dawn, the Dog Planet's headquarters."
"Our target is the Dog Planet's leader!"
The small cat deftly handed over a photo with its tail.
Seven took it, guaranteeing,
"No problem, before dawn, I'll finish him off!"
"Oh no, I don't want you to finish him off, I just want you to blind him!" the small cat hastily corrected.
"Alright! Then he'll become a blind dog!"
Under the moonlight, Seven and the small cat's silhouettes stretched long, reflected on the silver ground.
The scene shifts.
Doggy Command Center.
Seven glanced at the two dogs standing guard there, and without a word, tossed them a bone and a sausage...
Then, he slapped a book onto the face of the guard dog.
"The defense is so tight, I need to come up with a plan!"
Seven hid under a tree, pondering with their head down.
Then, he swiftly pulled out the Street Fighter Chicken egg, transforming into a yellow-haired stray dog.
With a sly grin, Seven stealthily intended to slip through the main gate.
As Seven walked, he noticed the guard dog beside him staring. He quickly crouched down and crawled forward.
Seven peered into the Doggy Command Center.
"What are these silly dogs doing up so late, not sleeping?"
"Wow! Every single one looks fierce!"
Seven looked at the energetic Dog Planet inhabitants, momentarily at a loss.
"But it won't stop me, as long as I quietly..."
Seven was dreaming when a red ball suddenly smacked him in the face.
The red ball bounced off his face and onto the ground.
Seven angrily picked up the red ball.
"Which stupid dog threw a ball at me?"
"Huh?"
Before Seven could finish, a pack of Dog Planet inhabitants charged at him.
In an instant, Seven was entangled with the dogs.
After the Dog Planet inhabitants retreated.
Another frisbee whizzed through the air.
"Who threw it this time?"
Seven stood up, holding the Frisbee, and asked loudly.
"A frisbee?"
Seven looked at the frisbee in his hand.
His eyes scanned around.
He saw another pack of dogs rushing towards him.
"No! Don't bite! Don't bite there!"
Seven's shrill cry echoed.
After the Dog Planet inhabitants dispersed again.
"Again?"
Seven felt another red ball coming.
He skillfully leaned back, dodging the red ball.
Then, with various agile dodges, he avoided all the incoming projectiles.
Finally, Seven lay on the ground.
"Oh dear, this place is too dangerous! I almost lost my dignity!"
"As a professional assassin."
"This won't stop me. At worst, I'll just lie down and crawl all the way."
Just as Seven was crawling on the ground, three Dog Planet inhabitants suddenly appeared above him.
At this moment, these three Dog Planet inhabitants were looking down at Seven on the ground.
"What are you staring at! Haven't you seen someone lying on the ground before?"
Seven, seeing these dogs staring at him, grumbled disdainfully.
Then, Seven suddenly sprang up with a powerful carp jump.
"Hey!"
Seven looked around.
He crossed his arms, beginning to carefully observe his surroundings.
"Hmm?"
After a quick glance around, he seemed to realize something, then abruptly turned to look at the three Dog Planet inhabitants behind him.
Seven squatted down.
Shaking his head, he first looked at the large blue dog sitting in the middle, then shifted his gaze to the two younger dogs holding swords and knives beside it.
"Could this guy be the leader of the Dog Planet?"
Seven looked at the dog leader sitting on the chair, arms crossed.
Seven pulled out a photo from his embrace and studied it carefully.
The photo showed a scrawny little dog holding a microphone, then he looked at the one on the chair, with eight-pack abs, wearing sunglasses, a muscular dog leader so strong he could be two Seven.
"The art style seems a bit off."
Seven muttered to himself.
The bodyguards standing on either side of the dog leader unhesitatingly pointed their weapons at Seven, who was kneeling on the ground.
"My two esteemed leaders, can we talk this over nicely?"
Seven quickly raised his paws in surrender, speaking.
At this moment, a photo drifted to Seven's feet, and he casually kicked it aside.
"What's your name? Why haven't I seen you before?"
The dog leader looked directly at Seven, asking with a serious expression.
"My name is Xiao Fenggou (Little Mad Dog)."
Seven's mind spun several times before he managed to blurt out this name.
"All Dog Planet inhabitants have the surname Wang. Where did this name Xiao Fenggou come from?" Wang Daidai, holding a long spear nearby, immediately questioned.
"Xiao Fenggou is a nickname! My real name is..."
Hearing Wang Daidai expose his lie, Seven broke into a sweat, frantically trying to remember what his real name should be.
"It's Wang Feng (Mad Bark)!"
Seven had a flash of inspiration and reported the name.
"You're Wang Feng?"
The dog leader crossed his arms, looking at Seven with a confused expression.
"That's right, Wang Feng."
Seven said decisively, then stood up.
"If one day, I'm old and destitute!"
Seven suddenly blurted out two lines of a song, and the scene instantly fell silent.
The two younger dogs holding weapons stared at Seven as if he were an alien.
Seeing the awkward atmosphere, Seven simply took a large step forward.
"Please keep me! In your embrace!"
He took a step towards the dog leader, but a dog's paw "thwack" clamped around his neck.
"All Dog Planet inhabitants know, there's only one Wang Feng here."
Saying this, Wang Feng tightly squeezed Seven's neck...
Seven was so scared he couldn't even breathe. Under his yellowish-brown dog skin, his tongue hung out, looking as if he were about to suffocate.
At this moment, Wang Feng's introduction also appeared in his mind... 』
『 .....』