When we arrived back at the guild, everyone who had fled from my earlier statement had returned. I gave them a disapproving glare, and they all responded by smiling; it seemed I had a lot of shameless siblings.
Setting Gajeel down in a random corner, I ripped a metal light fixture from the side of the wall and tossed it to him, letting him regain his magic power and heal. Yawning, I walked behind the bar, grabbing a barrel storing our most potent alcohol, though as I did so, Mira 'accidentally' backed into me.
"Fufu, oops, sorry big bro." Looking back at me with a faint smile, Mira leaned down, accentuating her rear that was pressed against my crotch, causing my face to twitch as I raised my hand, before lowering it while shaking my head. 'Slapping her butt right now would have the opposite effect.'
"You don't seem all that sorry to me." Grunting, I pushed Mira away, causing her to chuckle while I lifted the barrel, downing nearly half of it, before placing it back; just as I did so, my world turned dizzy. "Y-Yeah, p-perfect." Stumbling out from behind the bar, I walked, well, more like trying not to fall, towards a corner of the guild, where I plopped down on the curved bench.
'Ahh, nothing better than falling asleep drunk.' Yawning once more, I used the wooden table as a blanket and rested my head on my arm while closing my eyes, drifting to sleep… Unfortunately, I didn't sleep for long at all.
"Hahaha, guess whose back!!" "Why do you always have to be so loud, Natsu? They can clearly see us." "Please don't start arguing, you two, we just returned home." Hearing the most rambunctious and noisy trio, plus Happy, entering the guild, I groaned in annoyance and tried covering my ears; I just wanted to sleep right now.
"So this is your guild, Erza?" "So big and fancy." "Yeah, I've heard about Fairy Tail, never realized you guys were so wealthy." Those three voices were somewhat familiar, but currently, I was too drunk to remember who they were, so I just ignored them, easy to do when they weren't obnoxiously loud like a particular trio.
Getting accustomed to the increased noise, I closed my eyes again, slowly drifting to sleep, only for the bench to subtly tremble. "There you are, big bro, how have you been? Your injuries healing fine?" "You know they're healing fine, Lucy. He's not even wearing bandages. Hell, he might've never worn any." "Hehe, yeah, his healing capability is absurd, still, I wanted to make sure. He is still human."
Having been stopped from sleeping for the third time, I heaved a deep, defeated sigh as I dropped the table while sitting upright, giving Cana and Lucy a silent look before sighing again. "I'm hic f-fine." "Ohh, is that alcohol I smell? Haha, genius, big bro! Mira! I want a barrel of rum!" Grinning, Cana leaped to her feet, yelling while approaching the bar, leaving Lucy to chuckle and shake her head.
"Haa, such an alcoholic… Well, I guess I'll join her." As Lucy followed after Cana, joining her, I glanced around at the loud and lively guild, which had previously been relatively calm, and sighed. Any chance to fall asleep had been lost; now I was forced to be drunk and awake. "Fuck it. I'll just drink until I pass out."
Wobbly, standing up, I returned to the bar, passing Natsu, who was standing on the table, giving a detailed reenactment of his fights to the guild. Grabbing the barrel I'd drunk half of, I downed the rest of it and crushed it on my head, which seemed to do the trick as I ended up passing out behind the bar, enjoying a deep slumber.
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A week passed after everyone from Akane Beach returned to Magnolia. During that time, they learned about the situation regarding the magic council, or lack thereof, not that I particularly cared, though I wasn't dense enough to know that their presence would and had caused a significant change in Fiore.
Nothing had quite reached Magnolia, but I've heard of numerous rumors of people being kidnapped and smaller guilds being attacked, causing quests regarding Dark Mages and Guilds to skyrocket. I may have been the face when it comes to destroying Dark Guilds and Mages, but the Magic Council did just as much as me, if not more.
Currently, Erza was leading her old friends, including Simon, out of Magnolia, since apparently, they wanted to do their own thing; I didn't know any more, as I honestly didn't care.
While playing chess with Elfman, which had lasted for too long, Erza returned, and, as if a sign from the heavens, Vijeeter was thrown through the table, knocking everything over. "The Flame King reigns supreme! Haha." Glancing at Natsu, who was standing at the top of the stairs leading to the second floor with a flaming crown atop his head, I could feel my face twitch.
"I was about to win, dammit!" Yelling angrily, Elfman lunged at Natsu, transforming into one of his beast-souls. "Another challenger? None can match the might of the Flame King!" 'You weren't about to win, though, Elfman?' While Elfman and Natsu fought on the stairs, Erza approached, and without a word, she suddenly hugged me.
"Thank you for saving Simon, big bro." "You're welcome." "Simon also wanted me to relay his thanks for saving his life." "Don't really care." She sighed and shook her head as she retracted the hug. "Do you know what happened to Jellal?" Raising an eyebrow at her question, I shook my head, causing her to furrow her brows before nodding. "Hopefully, he drowned in the ocean."
"A-Anyway, big bro, I wanted to thank you for helping me." Erza's voice lowered while a faint blush crept onto her cheeks as she awkwardly averted her gaze, only for Lucy, who happened to half walk by, to push her into me. While Erza released an adorable squeal, I caught her and placed her on my lap. "You don't need to thank me, Erza."
Eyeing Erza, she slowly nodded while subtly leaning into my embrace, only for Mira to suddenly appear standing before us. "Fufu, well, well, well, if it isn't the turd of Fairy Tail, trying to seduce big bro with pity?" Although Mira was smiling, her words didn't match her expression, causing me to sigh as it was pretty clear the two of them were about to fight.
"Tch, the hell did you call me, you stinky demon!?" Standing up quickly, Erza stared Mira down while their chests pushed against each other, fighting two different battles at once. "Stinky? Anyone would smell when by you." "So the maid is talking back? I'll need to train your obedience again." "Oh, PLEASE do! I've been such a BAD girl." Flashing me a smirk, one that further angered Erza, the two slammed their foreheads together while continuing to spout insults.
However, while the two were in a heated conversation, Cana sneaked between the two and calmly sat on my lap with a bottle in hand, causing me to look down at her, to which she offered her alcohol. "Just a sip. A small one." "I-I'm good. Thanks, though." As we finished speaking, I looked back up, only to see Erza and Mira staring firmly at Cana, who smiled. "Not going to fight anymore?"
"What do you think you're doing, Cana?" "Just sitting." "On big bro's lap?" "Yeah, it's pretty comfy, his muscles are like the perfect pillows." As if to make her point, Cana moved my arm and rested her head against my bicep, causing them to look rather unamused. "You sure you should be doing that, Cana? Rumors might start; you wouldn't want that." Mira's 'advice' falls on deaf ears as Cana dismissively waves her hand.
"Ah, no need, big bros' lap has been my spot for a long time, since before YOU TWO even joined Fairy Tail." Now, if I were truly dense like a certain loud, fiery brat, then I'd be oblivious to what was happening, but I wasn't; I knew exactly what was happening and that Cana had basically just thrown down the gauntlet. She was openly challenging Mira and Erza, telling them that in this game to win my heart, she held an undeniable advantage.
"You know, I just remembered, but wasn't I the first one to ever call you big bro? I even showed you around Magnolia, too." Oh, Erza and Mira did not like Cana's attacks, not one bit; the change in their expressions was so apparent that even a blind man would notice. "Remember when you won me that stuffed teddy bear from that mallet game? What about the snow globe from that dart game? Oh, wait, didn't you threaten the owner because you lost? Or was that the mallet game?"
"Anyway, so many memories we have, big bro. What about you two? What memories do you have with him?" Innocently smiling, Cana looked at Mira and Erza, who were both seemingly on the verge of exploding. "This. This isn't over, Cana!" Gritting her teeth, Mira shot Cana a glare before turning around and walking away, her usual light steps heavy and aggressive. "I have some things to do." Glaring at Cana, Erza requiped into her Heavens Wheel armor and exited the guild.
'Damn… Impressive.'