!!!Please listen to "Je Te Laisserai Des Mots" and "Experience" while reading this episode!!!
Bakugo
My eyes widened in shock after what Deku said, and my body froze like a stone.
I tried to make sense of what he was saying, but my brain rejected everything, as if it didn't want to understand.
Finally, one of the countless questions running through my mind came out of my mouth.
"w-Wha-...no,wait. What do you say, Deku?"
I was shaking Deku's shoulders, shouting louder and louder as if I were trying to make him hear me.
"You...c- can't... YOU CAN'T DO THİS TO ME. CAN YOU HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING?"
He wasn't looking at me. WHY ISN'T HE LOOKING AT ME? DID HE EVEN HEAR WHAT HE WAS SAYING? WAS HE... REALLY GOING TO LEAVE ME?
I grabbed his by the hair and forced his to look at me, but before I could even see his face, he activated One For All and slapped me across the face.
"I despise you, Bakugo."
I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I no longer had the strength to hold them back. Every word that came out of his mouth felt like a knife piercing my heart.
I clutched my left breast tightly and tried to breathe, but the pain was so intense I didn't even notice the tears streaming down my cheeks.
"This is over, Bakugo. You can do whatever you want now. You're free to do whatever you want. I won't stop you anymore. I won't get in your way. You... will never see me again. It's over, it's all over."
Those were the words he said to me with his back turned. Then he left without even looking back once.
"Deku... Don't go."
I said it so quietly that even I could barely hear it.I wanted to ask him why he did this and beg him to change his mind. I wanted to so much... But... Something held me back and let him go.
He's leaving me too, just like the others...
He always hated me...
... I understand.
"As always, HE WAS JUST A PIECE OF SHIT, JUST LIKE THE OTHERS. WHY WOULD I NEED HIM? IF THAT COW THINKS HE CAN BEAT ME WITH SOMETHING LIKE THAT, HE IS VERY WRONG."
I AM STRONG AND I DON'T NEED HIM.
HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE WANTS.
"(crying sounds)"
I DON'T NEED HIM.
I don't need anyone.
***
I don't know how long I stood in that garden, but when people started arriving, I ran back to my room.
I was sitting on the floor, in the far corner of my room.
All of this that happened...What was it for?
To beat Deku...? No. For One For All...? I'm not even sure about that anymore.
I just wanted to be strong. Strong enough that no one could defeat me, that no one could hurt me.
Because that's what life has taught me. The weak are oppressed by the strong.
But now life is telling me that everything I've learned is wrong, I don't understand what it wants me to do anymore.
Deku keeps shattering all my beliefs. All this time... He's made me trust him without realizing it, I trusted Deku so much that I believed he wouldn't leave me no matter what I did. I'm such an idiot.
Of course, he would hate me, just like everyone else. He wouldn't want me anymore, he would just throw me aside like trash and forget about me.
I can't trust anyone, and I know what will happen if I do. I've lived this story many times.
I harshly wiped away the tears streaming down my face with the back of my hand, then hugged my legs and arms as if I were embracing myself, hiding my face which looked absolutely like a shit.
Even though I know all of this, why does my heart still ache so much?
As more tears streamed down my face, I whispered to him.
"Why Deku?"