Chapter 172: Don't Deceive Ram
"Did well?"
"Did you really think Ram would repeat it, Barusu? Don't get too happy. The fact that Ram can even praise you once for what you've done is already quite something."
With her arms crossed, turning her body away so she wouldn't look at Natsuki Subaru, Ram's lips curved ever so slightly as she slowly spoke:
"But the gentle Ram has still decided to give the utterly useless Barusu a bit of praise."
Saying so in her unique tone and manner, Ram praised Subaru while, as always, belittling him at the same time.
Only, she didn't know that her words could no longer reach Subaru's ears.
From the moment she had spoken that one line—"you did well"—the boy named Natsuki Subaru had turned into stone, as though he had been stared at by Medusa herself.
Neither of the two present was at fault for the situation becoming like this.
It was simply that one person's heart had already been crushed by a flood of negative emotions. Having never really stopped to rest, he was shattered completely by that single word of praise.
Yes—those taut, fraying nerves of his were snapped by that light, fleeting line. Now, Subaru's thoughts swirled like a storm inside his head, wrecking the fragile composure he had fought to maintain.
Who did well? Me? Did I do well? Who's praising me? Ah, it's Ram... why is it Ram?!
Anyone else could have said it, but not you, Ram! You of all people cannot say that!!
Subaru understood—it wasn't Ram's fault.
Rationally, he knew that. But emotionally, in his heart, he couldn't bear to hear praise from her.
Because that day, everything Ram had done—was all for the sake of Rem.
Ram should be scolding me instead... she must scold me! If I couldn't protect the person dearest to her, how could I possibly accept praise from her?!
"Hey, Ram."
His trembling voice made Ram blink in surprise. With a look of confusion, she turned her head toward Subaru, who had spoken.
And then she saw Subaru's empty eyes staring at her silently, unblinking.
"Barusu?"
"You can't praise me."
"Oh? Are you saying that you yourself think what you've done doesn't deserve Ram's praise? Hm... well, that does sound like something you'd think, Barusu."
"..."
Ram frowned. From earlier, she had felt that something wasn't quite right, and now that sense of wrongness had peaked. And it was then that Subaru's face before her turned agitated.
"You can't praise me! You have to scold me! Hit me! Even kill me if you want—but you must never praise me! I couldn't protect the person most important to you—how could someone like me deserve your praise?!"
"Barusu, you're being arrogant. With your level of ability, you're still tens of thousands of years away from being able to protect Lord Roswaal."
"Roswaal... is the one most important to you... I see... I understand now..."
"Barusu, you're acting strange. Since earlier, you've been spouting incomprehensible nonsense."
Hearing this, Subaru took a deep breath and forced an embarrassed smile.
"Sorry, senpai. I just woke up, so maybe I still haven't recovered from the nightmare. I must've startled you... I'm really sorry."
Ram studied Subaru's expression carefully, about to say something, but Subaru cut in:
"Sorry, senpai. Let's talk about this later. Right now, we have more important things to discuss."
Saying so, Subaru, with his silly grin, walked past Ram. But just before he could fully pass by, he felt his hand being grabbed.
Stopping in his tracks, Subaru looked sideways at Ram, who had seized his hand.
"Senpai?"
"What a disgusting expression.
If you plan to keep looking at Ram with that face, then Ram will have to turn you into a pig's head. At least that would look more pleasing than now."
Ram's malicious voice froze Subaru's expression stiff. None of the excuses that could have saved him came out of his mouth.
But Ram didn't care what Subaru was thinking. She roughly dragged Subaru back into the room and casually cast a spell that slammed the wooden door shut. The sharp sound snapped Subaru back to his senses.
But before he could make sense of what was happening, Ram's cold voice entered his ears.
"Sit on your knees!"
"Uh, Ram-senpai? May I ask—"
"Sit on your knees!"
"..."
Accepting his fate, Subaru sat on his knees. He carefully looked up at Ram sitting on the bed, legs crossed, displeasure written all over her face—like a queen looking down on him. For the life of him, he couldn't understand what he had done wrong.
In truth, he hadn't done anything wrong. But in his heart, with everything that had happened, Subaru believed that every single event had been his fault. So he sat there on his knees, enduring Ram's icy gaze without a hint of complaint.
In fact, he thought kneeling like this was far too light of a punishment. Funny—just recently he had been the one teaching Emilia, and now here he was in her place.
"Barusu, do you know what you've done wrong?"
Subaru hesitated a moment, then slowly shook his head.
"Hm. Ram doesn't know either."
"..."
Ram narrowed her eyes slightly at Subaru's blank face and continued.
"Ram truly doesn't know what you did wrong.
Perhaps you did nothing wrong at all. No—in fact, from the moment you stepped into the mansion, you've never really done anything wrong. When working, you were more serious and focused than anyone.
When studying, you hungered for knowledge more than anyone.
When exterminating beasts and saving the village, you risked your life more than anyone.
Someone like you wouldn't do anything wrong. But Ram doesn't like you putting on that fake expression when you face her!"
At that moment, Ram recalled the scene she had seen in her dream. She knew well enough that dreams were just dreams, and no matter how real they seemed, they couldn't become reality.
But seeing Subaru's expression now—just like in her dream—she found herself utterly unable to contain the anger welling inside her.
Under Subaru's confused gaze, Ram stood up and slowly walked over to him. Subaru stiffened as her raised hand made him close his eyes in resignation.
But what came wasn't a harsh blow—it was the warmth of her palm.
Opening his eyes, Subaru saw Ram's sorrowful face, and heard her soft voice.
"Don't deceive Ram. Ram doesn't want to have regrets..."
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