Chapter 173: Huh?!
Most of the time, a dream will not give you a real feeling, and after waking up you cannot truly experience the emotions from within the dream.
Of course, there are exceptions.
For certain special dreams, even after waking, the emotions in the dream can still be felt.
For example, when being pinned down and beaten, wanting to fight back but finding that your body won't move, and then finally using all your strength to swing a hand or kick a foot—at that moment the dream ends. Or the sensation of falling from high above, the weightlessness jolting you awake from the dream.
For Ram, that unforgettable, realistic dream left a deep impact on her.
The feelings it gave her upon waking were truly shared experiences, and so, in her interactions with Natsuki Subaru, the events in that dream left her with regret.
Change.
The more time Ram spent with Natsuki Subaru, the more she realized that unconsciously, she had been devoting too much attention to him.
Ram looked at the stunned Subaru, kneeling before him, her palm still resting against his cheek.
This action gave Ram a sense of relief.
Yes—that relief.
It felt as if, from the moment she had received that blank letter, something inside her heart had gone missing. Even when the explanatory letter later arrived, that sense of emptiness was never filled.
She didn't know why, but together with that realistic dream, it felt as though something important had been lost, making her unable to calm her heart during that time.
Only when she saw Natsuki Subaru did that restless heart finally find peace.
Though she always felt that something was missing, at the instant she looked at Natsuki Subaru, she had this inexplicable feeling—that no matter what, he would surely make everything better.
This unfounded feeling filled her heart and mind.
Now, seeing Subaru's abnormal emotions, Ram didn't know what kind of feelings drove her to do all these things for him.
Come to think of it—what position did Natsuki Subaru hold in her heart?
Even if she was gentle, she shouldn't be acting this way toward him. And yet, these actions didn't feel wrong. On the contrary, she seemed to even enjoy this sense of relief.
"From now on, Ram will seriously think about how to punish the troublesome Barusu later. So, during this time, Ram won't be able to hear anything."
Seeing Ram say such an expressionless yet absurd line—one that made people want to laugh or complain—Subaru, for some reason, felt a bit of courage.
"Honestly… I don't deserve to be treated so gently by you, Ram…"
Subaru paused, bowing his head so that Ram wouldn't see the unwillingness and the tears swirling in his eyes.
"In the end, I still haven't made any progress…"
Mocking himself, Subaru slowly began to speak of everything regarding Rem. He softly recounted the moment he met the sisters, the memories of their time together, and the friendship forged through hardships.
Finally, he spoke of how his own choices had led to Rem's disappearance. As everything spilled from Subaru's mouth, the room fell silent… That silence itself became an unbearable torment for him.
Slowly lifting his head, Subaru looked at Ram's expression. Her face had not changed at all. And it was precisely that complete lack of change—that nothingness—that became Subaru's greatest pain!
"Say something, Ram… Anything… Even if you have to lie to me… At least let me—"
"Barusu really is scum."
"Hah?!"
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