The air between them pulsed, thick with sweat, moans, and the heady scent of sex.
Tae was still flushed, sticky with release across his stomach, lips parted as he shifted slowly, deliberately off Joon's lap. Joon lay back, trying to breathe. But Tae didn't let the moment rest.
Instead, he crawled to the end of the bed and turned around on all fours, glancing over his shoulder.. eyes half-lidded, dangerous.
He pressed his ass back.
Directly against Joon's cock.
Joon's jaw clenched.
It was still hard, impossibly so, swollen and slick from everything they'd done already. And Tae, without a word, began to grind. Slowly. Sensually. Rocking his hips back, pressing his ass hard against the length of Joon's cock, not taking it in. Not letting him in. Just rubbing. Teasing.
Joon groaned, head dropping back, one hand gripping the sheets.
"Tae…"
Tae smirked. "You're still so hard," he whispered. "Fuck—you liked that more than you're letting on, didn't you?"
Joon's only answer was a ragged breath.
Tae started moving faster, hips rolling in tight, brutal circles, ass grinding against the underside of Joon's cock until it twitched helplessly against him.
"Look at you," Tae whispered, voice pure filth. "All that talk. All that dominance. But look how desperate you are now."
Joon tried to reach for him but Tae crawled forward suddenly, arching his back, dragging his ass along the entire length of Joon's cock before sliding down low, chest against the bed, keeping his ass up.
He looked back. "Want to spank me for it?"
Joon's hand came down instantly.
The sharp smack echoed, once on his ass, again on his thigh and Tae moaned, grinding even harder.
Joon's hand lingered. He kneaded one cheek roughly, then smacked him again, watching the ripple.
Tae started moving faster now, fucking himself against Joon's cock with filthy precision, each roll of his hips perfectly aimed to drag the sensitive underside of Joon's shaft through the mess of slick and sweat between them.
Joon was losing it.
"Fuck—Tae—what the fuck—"
"You like this?" Tae asked, reaching between his legs to stroke himself lazily, moaning into the mattress. "Bet you've never had someone grind on you like this. Rub their ass all over your cock like they own it."
Joon growled low in his throat, hands gripping the backs of Tae's thighs, spreading him, watching the way his cock fit between them like it belonged there.
Tae moaned louder. "You're throbbing," he gasped. "You're gonna cum, aren't you?"
Joon nodded, almost helpless.
Then Tae stilled.
And slipped off him again.
Joon choked out a breath. "Tae—don't—"
Tae turned around, crawling to the edge of the bed, lips red, eyes wicked.
He looked up at Joon, licked his lips, and whispered, "Cum in my mouth."
Joon's pupils blew wide.
Tae dropped to his elbows, ass still in the air, and dragged his tongue up Joon's shaft with deliberate slowness. He licked the head, sucked it in shallow then deep.. his lips soft, wet, greedy. Joon's hips jerked forward, his hands flying to Tae's hair.
Tae let him.
Even encouraged it, hollowing his cheeks, moaning around him, taking him deep again and again while Joon's groans turned to desperate, barely-coherent curses.
Then, just as Joon started to tense, that final tell.. Tae pulled off with a pop, eyes glinting.
"What's wrong, Joonie?" Tae teased. "You were so close…"
Joon's breath shuddered. "You're evil."
"Am I?"
Joon growled a low, brutal sound and grabbed him in an instant.
He yanked Tae up by both arms, dragging him backward, chest still pressed to the bed, until Tae's ass was flush against him again.
"No more games."
And then.. he slammed in.
Tae gasped, a full-body sound, raw and shocked.
Joon didn't let him adjust.
He pounded into him immediately, hard, rough, punishing, fingers bruising Tae's arms as he held them behind his back, chest pressed down, ass high, his cock driving in with a wet slap of skin on skin.
Tae cried out, again and again but it wasn't pain. It was pure, broken pleasure.
"F-fuck, Joon—"
"You think you can tease me like that?" Joon hissed into his ear, thrusts unrelenting. "Grind that pretty ass on me, make me moan for you—"
Tae moaned harder. "Y-yes—yes, I wanted to—"
"You liked it?" Joon shoved deeper. "You like making me lose control?"
Tae sobbed into the sheets. "Loved it—fuck—you feel so fucking good—"
Joon was losing it.
He let go of Tae's arms just to yank his hips higher, wrapping an arm under his waist to keep him in place, the other hand smacking his ass again so hard Tae jolted forward.
Then he leaned down, chest to his back, hips still slamming forward roughly.
"You wanted me to cum in your mouth," Joon whispered into his ear, voice shaking. "But now I'm going to fill your ass up instead."
Tae whimpered. "D-do it—"
Joon kissed his shoulder.
Then slammed into him one final time and came so hard he nearly collapsed, grunting in pleasure against Tae's back, arm wrapped tight around his stomach, hips grinding through the aftershocks, still trembling.
Tae came a second later, cock pressed against the bed, body convulsing, crying out Joon's name like a broken prayer.
———
The room had finally quieted.
The storm they'd made all gasps, sweat, bruising grip and moans had long passed, leaving only the warm, sticky silence of after. Their bodies tangled in the center of the bed, limbs too tired to separate, hearts still catching up.
Joon lay on his back, chest rising and falling slow, his hair slightly damp at the temples. Tae was half-draped over him, cheek resting against the solid warmth of his shoulder, their bare legs knotted beneath the covers. The air was heavy with heat, but Tae didn't care. He wanted to stay like this, a little too close. A little too attached.
He shifted up, propping his chin on Joon's chest.
"You're gonna regret letting me do all that," Tae mumbled sleepily, voice still rough. "You realize I'm never going to stop teasing you now."
Joon cracked a lazy grin, his eyes half-lidded as he looked down at him. "You already never stopped."
Tae smiled back, eyes crinkling. "Yeah but now I've got material."
"Dangerous."
"I'm very dangerous," Tae whispered dramatically, brushing his fingers through Joon's hair gently, lovingly before playing with the little strands near his temple. "Your life's never gonna be the same."
Joon laughed under his breath warm and low, his eyes closing as Tae's fingertips lingered across his forehead, brushing sweat-damp hair back. He looked so calm now. Softened. His dominant edge cooled to something tender.
Tae watched his expression shift, his face slowly smoothing out, lashes fanning against his cheeks.
"Are you.. falling asleep?" Tae asked, amused.
"No," Joon mumbled without opening his eyes.
"You're totally falling asleep."
"Not."
Tae shifted again, resting his chin squarely on Joon's chest like a possessive cat. "Should I let you? Or keep annoying you 'til sunrise?"
"You're already annoying me."
"You love it."
Joon gave a half-laugh, a soft huff through his nose but his voice was slurring slightly, slower than usual. His fingers slid lazily along Tae's back, a tired rhythm, but even that started to fade.
Tae looked at him properly now, at the curve of his relaxed mouth, the faint tension still lingering in his brows, like he was dreaming even as he drifted off.
He whispered, barely loud enough to be heard:
"You're kinda cute like this…"
No answer. Just steady breathing.
Tae smiled again, but this one was smaller, almost shy. His fingers moved to Joon's jaw, tracing his chin softly with the back of his knuckles.
"Don't leave me behind," he whispered, leaning forward, lips barely grazing Joon's collarbone. "Even if this gets messy."
No reaction.
He was fully asleep now.
Tae let his head fall gently against Joon's chest again, curling into his side like a small animal, hands tucked close beneath his chin. He closed his eyes with a quiet sigh.
"…Goodnight, dumbass," he murmured.
Joon, in his sleep, shifted slightly, unconsciously curling one arm tighter around Tae's waist.
And that was enough.
Tae pressed a final kiss to Joon's cheek.. a soft, lingering thing that barely brushed skin before slowly pulling away from the warmth of his body. Joon didn't stir. His breathing stayed even, chest rising and falling beneath the sheet tangled at his waist.
Tae sat up, naked, the cool air skimming goosebumps across his back. He rubbed his eyes, letting them adjust to the dim light that leaked in from the hallway. Around the room, quiet clutter. A folded blazer on the chair. A glass of water half-drunk on the nightstand. Joon's wedding ring on the dresser.
And beside the pillow, near Joon's outstretched arm.. his phone.
Tae's gaze lingered on it. Then dropped. Then returned again.
He bit his bottom lip, hesitant, heart ticking louder in his chest.
Don't. He told himself.
But something else inside him moved, a flicker of doubt, insecurity, maybe even jealousy and he leaned forward quietly, carefully lifting the phone from the mattress.
Joon didn't move.
Tae sat back down on the edge of the bed, the phone in his palm now. It felt heavier than it should've. He half-expected it to be locked, but the screen lit up with just a swipe. No password.
His stomach sank a little.
He hesitated, thumb hovering.
Then he went through his Messages.
He tapped slowly..
There, near the top of the list, was Ha-eun.
He shouldn't.
But he did.
A few new messages. Nothing out of the ordinary.. at first.
Ha-eun:
'Just sent you the video of Eun-woo doing his catwalk at daycare again! He added a spin this time.'
Ha-eun:
'Also, he keeps calling your cologne "Apple smell.".'
Ha-eun:
'I will take him to the indoor park tomorrow.. if you want to stop by after work?'
Tae's lips pressed into a thin line. His chest felt warm. And heavy.
More messages followed, spaced throughout the day.
Ha-eun:
'Joon.. I miss you.'
Ha-eun:
'I know this break was your idea, but can you tell me how long it's going to last?'
Ha-eun:
'I just want you to come home baby.. even if it's just for a while..'
Ha-eun:
[image attachment.]
Tae's heart kicked. He tapped on it before he could stop himself.
The picture wasn't explicit.. not really. But it didn't have to be.
She was curled up on the couch, knees drawn to her chest, loose sweater slipping off one shoulder. Her legs bare. The lights low and warm. There was a softness in her eyes, like she was tired, or lonely or waiting.
The caption read:
'You remember this sweater? The one you said made you want to stay in bed all day?'
Tae stared at the screen.
His breath caught somewhere in his throat, then slipped out shakily.
Of course she still wanted him. Of course she'd want to pull him back. She didn't know what Joon was doing when he wasn't at work. She didn't know her husband was in this bed, skin still warm with the imprint of someone else's mouth.
Tae felt something tighten in his chest, not anger. Not quite.
He didn't even know what it was.
Maybe just reality. Heavy and cold against his skin.
He blinked down at the photo again. Then locked the screen quickly.
The room was suddenly too quiet.
He set the phone back where he found it. Gently. Like it might break.
Behind him, Joon shifted slightly in his sleep, a soft sigh escaping his throat as he turned onto his side, his hand brushing where Tae had just been.
Tae stayed there for a moment longer, still naked, back straight, eyes distant.
Then he slowly laid back down, not tucked in, not curled against Joon this time just flat on his back, staring at the ceiling.
His throat felt tight.
The air felt colder.
And he didn't know why, but for the first time since they started this…
he felt like he might be the only one in the room wide awake.
Tae didn't remember when exactly he moved. It was slow, hesitant.. like he was afraid of waking Joon with every inch he closed between them.
But eventually, his arms found their way around Joon's torso, and his bare chest pressed close enough to feel every breath rising and falling beneath his cheek.
Joon didn't stir.
Tae's fingers dug into the smooth expanse of Joon's back, and his face buried against the dip between his collarbone and pectoral. The scent of him warm skin, a trace of sex, and faint cologne, made it worse somehow. Too real. Too good.
He squeezed his eyes shut.
He didn't mean to cry.
But the ache he thought he'd swallowed hours ago unraveled.. quiet, hot, and sharp at the edges.
Tears spilled against Joon's skin without a sound. He held his breath through it, jaw clenched, trying to will it down but it kept coming, the pressure in his chest too thick to contain. And the more he tried to muffle it, the tighter his arms wound around Joon's sleeping frame, desperate like he was holding onto something that might vanish.
At first, Joon didn't move.
But his breath shifted.
Slowed.
Then held.
He'd woken up.
And he was listening.
After a moment, Joon's hand stirred.. gently lifting, hesitating before settling carefully at the back of Tae's head, his fingers sinking into the mess of dark hair there.
He didn't speak right away.
Just pulled him closer, pressing Tae's face tighter against his chest like he could shield him from whatever he was feeling.
"…Tae." His voice was low, still husky with sleep. "Baby.. Hey… what's wrong?"
Tae shook his head against him.
His lips parted, breath shaky but no words came. Just more silence. More heat on Joon's skin.
"…You're crying," Joon whispered, tightening his arms around him. "Talk to me."
"I'm not," Tae murmured. His voice was soft, broken at the end. "It's fine."
But it wasn't. Joon knew it. He could feel it in the way Tae clung to him trembling, raw, and too quiet.
Joon leaned back slightly and reached down to cradle Tae's face in both hands. His thumbs swept under his eyes, wiping the tears that kept falling.
"Tae-hyun." His tone was firmer now, anchoring. "Look at me."
Tae's lips trembled. He tried to avoid it, tried to keep his eyes low but Joon's hold was gentle and sure, guiding his gaze up until their eyes met.
Joon's heart ached.
Tae's cheeks were damp, lashes stuck together, lips parted with uneven breaths he tried to hold back. His usual sharpness, stubbornness, the cool wit, the flirt, the guarded smirks was gone.
Just this. Just him. Raw and real and scared.
Joon leaned forward and kissed the tears from one cheek, then the other slow, reverent then pressed his lips to Tae's brow.
Tae squeezed his eyes shut again, letting out a broken sound that wasn't quite a sob. His voice finally cracked through it.
"I don't know what I'm doing," he whispered. "I didn't mean to get this—"
He stopped. Bit down on his lower lip hard, like the words were dangerous.
Joon cupped the back of his head again, his fingers threading gently through his hair.
"This…?" he murmured, voice soft. "You mean this—us?"
Tae nodded once, barely.
"…It scares me," he admitted, breath shaky. "How much I feel. How fast. How much I… want you. And it's not just sex. It hasn't been for a while."
Joon didn't move, didn't interrupt. Just listened, eyes steady, his own throat thick now.
"I don't like thinking about it ending. I don't like how real it's gotten. I don't like that I look at you, and forget I'm not supposed to."
The silence after that felt like it could shatter glass.
Then Joon exhaled, slow.
And he leaned in again, pressing his forehead gently to Tae's.
His hands framed Tae's face like it was something precious, something he was afraid of breaking.
"…You're not the only one, you know."
Tae's breath hitched.
"I try to act like I'm in control of this," Joon murmured, brushing his thumb along the line of Tae's jaw. "But every time you look at me like that, I forget everything I'm supposed to be loyal to."
Tae swallowed hard.
"And yeah," Joon whispered, lips barely grazing his. "It's terrifying."
Their eyes locked.. nothing playful now. No teasing. Just that bare ache of wanting someone you're afraid to lose.
Joon leaned in, kissed him softly, not hungry this time, not rough. Just… present.
"I'm still here," he said quietly against his lips. "Even when you're scared. Even if you cry. Even if I do."
Tae's breath stuttered.
He let himself fall into that kiss again, slower this time before curling back into Joon's chest, arms pulling tight around him again like he couldn't bear to let go.
And this time, Joon didn't fall asleep first.
He held Tae like he meant it, wide awake listening to every quiet breath that followed.
Joon's fingers moved gently through Tae's hair, slow and rhythmic, like the motion alone could calm whatever storm was still brewing in the man curled up against him.
Tae was quiet, breathing in soft shudders against his chest. But the tears hadn't stopped, Joon could feel the damp warmth of them, soaking into his skin, leaving trails where they slid from cheek to clavicle.
He kissed the top of Tae's head again.
Didn't rush him.
Didn't ask.
Just held him there, running his hand along his back in long, grounding strokes. And for a while, they stayed like that, hearts pressed close, breath shared, skin tangled.
But then, Tae's voice broke through the hush.
Barely a whisper.
"…I looked."
Joon blinked.
Tae shifted slightly, like he was ashamed to be saying it, his cheek still pressed to Joon's chest, voice tight and guilty.
"I looked at your phone while you were sleeping," he murmured. "I know I shouldn't have. I'm not like that. I don't do shit like that. Ever. I just…"
He paused. Swallowed.
Joon didn't move.. not yet. Just listened. Felt Tae's pulse thumping hard against his ribs.
"…It was right there," Tae whispered. "And I saw it didn't have a lock and I don't even know what I was expecting to find. I just… I don't know. I got scared."
Joon's fingers in his hair slowed.
Still, he didn't say anything.
Tae hesitated.
"…I read what she sent you."
A sharper breath now. Closer to a flinch.
"I shouldn't have. I know that. I'm sorry."
"Tae," Joon finally said, voice soft, even but Tae rushed ahead, needing to get it out before he lost his nerve.
"She misses you," Tae mumbled. "She asked when your break is over. She sent you a picture too. She looked really pretty."
Joon closed his eyes for a second, jaw tensing slightly, not in anger, but something closer to conflicted thought.
Tae's voice dropped to almost nothing.
"And I just— I saw that and I thought… of course he'll go back. Of course this is temporary. She's beautiful and kind and she still wants you. And you're her husband. You have a life. A son. All I am is—"
He cut himself off, like he couldn't bring himself to say it.
Joon's brows drew together.
He finally pulled back a little, enough to look at Tae, who tried to keep his eyes low, lashes wet and cheeks still damp.
"You're not just anything," Joon said quietly, tilting Tae's chin up. "Don't say that."
Tae stared at him. Eyes red, raw.
"But you will go back," he whispered. "Even if you don't want to. You'll have to. And you'll stop texting me when she's around. You'll stop staying late. You'll stop picking me up for no reason or sending voice notes or kissing me when no one's looking."
Joon's throat felt tight.
Tae's voice cracked.
"And maybe that's what's supposed to happen. Maybe that's fair. But I don't know how to go back to pretending like you didn't kiss me in your car or hold me like this or tell me I made you forget.. her."
Joon took a deep breath, letting it out slowly through his nose.
"Tae…"
"I keep thinking you'll forget me," Tae whispered. "Like this'll all fade and you'll get tired and move on and I'll just… I'll be the one who remembers everything."
His voice was shaking now, like he was barely holding it together.
"And I hate that I care this much," he admitted. "I hate that I checked your phone. I hate that I felt that jealous. I'm not this person, Joon. I've never been this person."
Joon's hand slid up to cup his cheek again, thumbing gently at the damp skin just below Tae's eye.
"I know," he said softly.
"And I'm sorry," Tae whispered again, breath hitching. "I just… I didn't know what else to do with the feeling."
There was a long silence.
Joon looked at him, gaze searching.. not angry, not hurt. Just quiet.
Thoughtful.
"…I'm not mad you looked," he said finally. "I probably should be. But I'm not."
Tae blinked.
Joon exhaled, then pulled him back into his chest, tucking his chin over Tae's head.
"If I'm being honest," he murmured, "a part of me… I don't know. I guess I liked that you cared enough to check."
Tae's breath caught in his throat.
"You didn't do it to catch me," Joon continued. "You did it because you were scared. Because you're in this. Because this means something to you."
Tae nodded slowly, arms winding tighter around Joon again, burying himself deeper.
Joon pressed a kiss into his hair.
"She's still my wife," he admitted, voice quieter. "We have a child. There's no version of this that isn't messy. But I'm not here because of obligation or guilt. I'm here with you because I want to be."
Tae squeezed his eyes shut again.
"I want to stay here," Joon added. "Not just tonight. I don't know what the hell I'm doing either, but when I'm with you, I don't feel lost. I feel like I'm finally letting something happen I've spent years pushing down."
Tae's fingers curled into Joon's ribs again, breath stuttering.
Joon softened his voice even more.
"And I won't forget you, Tae."
Silence.
"I don't think I could even if I tried."
Tae let out a breath, shaky and low.
Then he shifted, pressing himself up just enough to look at Joon again, their faces inches apart, Tae eyes still glossy.
"I still feel stupid," he whispered, nose brushing Joon's.
"You're not."
"I acted like some insecure—"
"You acted like someone who gives a damn," Joon said. "That's not stupid."
Their foreheads touched again.
Tae closed his eyes and let himself breathe.
It was terrifying but for the first time since he'd looked at that message, since he saw that soft picture and imagined everything he wasn't, he felt held.
Real.
Chosen, even if no one had said it yet.
"…I still want to punch something," Tae muttered, quieter now. "Like your phone."
Joon smiled, eyes creasing.
"I'll allow it."
Tae snorted softly. His eyes were still red, but the tension in his shoulders had started to ease.
And when Joon leaned forward to kiss his lips, slow, lingering, with no urgency at all.. Tae let himself melt into it, his hand resting gently over Joon's heart.
For now, he didn't need answers.
Just this.
Just him.
But deep down he was still not okay.
His mind was still racing with thoughts he didn't want to have.