First challenge!
SPIKE PIT!!!!!
Harry steps forward, gulping as he stares at the spike pit below, then glances at the stepping stones in the middle.
I wonder how the hell they even set this up—there's not a single support pillar in sight.
"A bit far... Guess I'll have to jump with everything I've got."
He backs up for a running start, sprints, and leaps—
His jump lands him squarely on the first stone.
"UOHHH! Contestant #666 has successfully jumped to the first stepping stone! Most previous contestants failed right here!!"
"Heh, easy as—"
He doesn't finish. Something feels off—he's losing balance.
He looks down and realizes:
'Motherf—IT'S FUCKING ICE!!!'
His foot slips. He scrambles to grab the edge, but it's slick ice—his hands slide uselessly.
"AHHH SHIT!!!"
"HARRY!!"
Hearing his name, he looks toward the stands—Peter, Gwen, and... Emmu?
Peter's face is full of worry, shouting his name.
They're being threatened, and I'm about to die?
No fucking way I'm accepting that!!!!!
He swings his fist and punches straight into the ice stone.
His hand sinks in and sticks.
"Ah..."
The entire crowd and the announcer are stunned.
"NO WAY!! CONTESTANT #666 JUST DID THE IMPOSSIBLE! JEFF, REPLAY THAT AND UPLOAD IT TO YOUTUBE RIGHT NOW!!"
Harry grits his teeth, using the stuck fist as leverage to shift his weight.
At just the right moment, he yanks his hand free and leaps to the next stone—
And like before, he punches hard into the bottom of the next ice platform.
"Holy hell, Harry's that strong??" Peter mutters, shocked that someone who's not even a hero or villain yet has monster-level strength.
"Like a damn gorilla," Gwen comments casually.
"Why does everything get weird the moment I hang out with you guys?" Emma glances at Peter and Gwen.
"Don't ask me," Peter dodges, eyes back on Harry.
After several desperate moves, Harry clears Challenge 1! He's panting heavily, staring at the next obstacle.
Ahead of him: a long, narrow pole leading to the finish—but it's so thin you have to balance perfectly.
Sounds easy... if not for the middle-aged Indian dudes bathing in curry sauce down below.
"..."
*Who the fuck designed this? I just wanna talk.*
"Oh! It's the boy!"
"Eh? I thought it was a girl—I was hoping for a girl!"
"Even if it was, it wouldn't be your turn!"
They start getting crude.
"THIS IS CHALLENGE #2: BALANCE BEAM! FALL AND YOU'LL GET A FULL MASALA BATH WITH THESE FUNNY INDIAN DUDES! NO RACISM HERE!"
That's some next-level racism, you jackass!!
Suddenly, two iron balls attached to chains appear out of nowhere and lock around his wrists.
"???"
"TO MAKE THE GAME MORE EXCITING, WE ADD CHALLENGES! ANY COMPLAINTS, CONTESTANT #666?"
"ARE YOU PEOPLE FUCKING INSANE???"
"GOOD! NO COMPLAINTS—GO!"
Gritting his teeth, he inches forward, legs trembling on the narrow pole.
*The iron balls are insanely heavy—my arms are gonna snap!!*
"Hey kid! Eat some curry!"
"He's so pale—does he use skincare?"
"Blah blah blah—"
"Grrr..." He grinds his teeth so hard they might crack.
He's almost at the end—
Then his foot slips.
"Ah..."
He looks down—his crotch is about to slam into the pole.
"NUH UH!!!"
With every ounce of strength, he clamps his legs around the pole, spinning like a helicopter blade.
"UOHHHHH!!!!"
He swings both chained arms toward the finish—and because the iron balls are so heavy, they pull him forward.
Talk about logic!
Thanks to that, he clears Challenge #2.
"WOOOO!!!!"
The crowd roars. Harry, exhausted, yanks the chains off his wrists.
"Two... two challenges down!! How many more..."
"98."
The announcer's voice echoes, nearly making him faint.
THIS IS STRAIGHT-UP MURDER!!!
"F" Gwen whispers.
"You even know that one?" Peter raises an eyebrow.
"You say it all the time?" Gwen scratches her head.
"I don't remember ever saying that..."
"Ummm guys? Harry's getting chased by raging bulls right now—maybe worry about him?" Emma points down.
Harry's sprinting, but a bull rams him into a wall—miraculously, he's still alive.
"I believe in him," Peter says with a small smile.
"AHHHH SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!!" Harry screams.
"...maybe."
"OUHHHHH!!!" Harry grabs the bull's two horns with an iron grip and vaults onto its back.
The bull bucks wildly, trying to throw him off.
BAM!
One punch slams straight into the bull's skull—like a sledgehammer dropped at bullet speed.
"You're my bitch now," Harry growls.
The once-raging bull suddenly looks like a chibi cartoon character, all wide-eyed and docile.
"OHHHH?!! CONTESTANT #666 JUST TAMED A NEW POKÉMON!!!"
"Forward!!" Harry commands.
The bull charges. Mid-sprint, Harry rips a steel pole from the ground and spins it like a war club.
"FUCK THIS SHITTY GAMESHOW—I'M TEARING THIS PLACE APART!!"
The next wave of death traps and serial killers waiting ahead?
Smashed.
The bull barrels through them. Harry swings the pole like a baseball bat, cracking masked faces left and right.
He's a goddamn war god now.
Then—
A massive killer grabs the bull by the horns.
"?!?!"
With one heave, the giant hurls the bull into the air.
Harry leaps clear just in time.
"BULL-KUN!!!!"
He watches in horror as the bull splashes into the water below and then crocodiles tear it apart in seconds.
"You... YOU'RE GONNA PAY!!!"
Harry charges.
Fists fly—left, right, uppercut—pummeling the giant killer into the ground.
"CONTESTANT #666 HAS CLEARED 23 CHALLENGES!!
NOW WITHOUT HIS BULL—CAN HE KEEP GOING?!?"
***
"Hey, running out of people to drag along, so you picked me?"
"Yup."
"I'm gonna punch you."
"Come on, Lee, one trip won't kill anyone!"
A group of three—two girls, one guy—walked together.
They rarely went out in public. America could be… discriminatory.
But staying cooped up at the school got boring, so they got permission and left.
Yes, they were mutants.
So who were they?
Bobby, Kitty, and Lee.
Hero names: Iceman, Shadowcat, and Jubilee.
"Is this the place? Damn, it's packed. Already don't wanna go in," Lee said, clearly annoyed.
"Come on, Lee, it's just for fun. No one's dying."
"Annoying."
"Don't be like that! Bobby, say something!"
"Huh? She's right. I'd rather hang with my brown bear than come here—ow! Why'd you hit me??"
"Stupid Russian! At least play along!"
Bobby adjusted his ushanka and looked at the two pretty girls in front of him.
Kitty had a cute ponytail, super diplomatic—like a capybara.
Lee was a rebellious tomboy, always holed up in the lab, so she had dark circles under her eyes.
Sounded cool, but to him, both were super annoying. He'd rather chill with his pet bear and drink vodka.
"What're you thinking?" Kitty flashed a threatening smile, jabbing him with her elbow.
"N-nothing, ma'am!"
"Good!"
Cute my ass—she's terrifying!
Meanwhile, Lee was lost in chemical equations. She didn't care much about anything else.
"Look! There's a gap! Hurry up, you two!!"
Kitty dragged them through the crowd.
And by some logic, they ended up with the best view.
Bobby, Kitty, and Lee stared at the obstacle course and froze.
Wow. Going all out. Straight-up murder on live TV?
"Normal people enjoy this now?" Kitty asked, confused.
"Beats me." Bobby said.
Lee didn't speak, but she felt someone watching them.
From the side.
She turned—and saw two people staring.
Peter's group.
"...do I know you?" Lee asked.
"No?"
"What's with the question mark?"
"Don't overthink it."
Lee and Peter talking drew Bobby, Kitty, Gwen, and Emma over.
"...hey, watch the show," Peter pointed down.
The three mutants narrowed their eyes, suspicious but followed.
They weren't weak. No fear.
Lee watched the contestant struggling through the course.
Then a wrestler blocked him. The guy ripped off his shirt, revealing a chiseled body.
For some reason, the camera zoomed in on his face. The screen showed Harry.
Lee froze.
A handsome guy—sharp jaw, smooth short hair, double eyelids, eight-pack, flawless skin, total heartthrob, blah blah blah (description slightly exaggerated, don't take it seriously).
Basically… way too hot.
"Oh, he's young. Probably one or two years younger than us," Kitty said.
"Pretty masculine. Kinda wanna befriend him for no reason," Bobby added.
Then both turned to Lee.
"...huh?"
Lee was blushing. Nosebleed.
...?
Something's wrong here…
Bobby and Kitty's eyes widened.
"NO WAY?!"
"IT CAN'T BE—LEE?!!"
Lee jumped, staring at them.
"W-what??"
"Oi oi oi! What's with that face??" Kitty grabbed Lee's cheeks and wiped her nosebleed.
"What do you mean??"
"You're asking?! Your face is exactly like a girl in love! And from you—the girl who never leaves the lab!!"
"What are you talking about??" Lee shouted.
"Then look at him," Bobby said.
Lee turned to Harry on the screen—and blushed again.
"HOLY SHIT! LEE'S FALLEN IN LOVE!!!"