He didn't want to tell this story.
He had been running from it for years and even now, the thought of it made his stomach sink and his heart ache.
However, since he couldn't return the same words, since he couldn't tell Somnus I love you, he felt he had an obligation to explain why.
If he couldn't do even that much, then how could he expect Somnus to believe in his feelings at all?
"Wait, Shen," Somnus interrupted gently. "You look pale. You don't have to force yourself if it hurts to talk about it."
Even now, Somnus's voice was full of concern. It was so gentle that it almost broke him.
This was someone who always put him first, who cared for him so deeply.
And he, what had he ever done in return?
He had just basked in that warmth and taking comfort from it, never daring to reach out and give something back.
If he wanted things to change and if he wanted to stop running around in circles, then he had to take this first step himself.
