Luki remained still.
'When did things get like this?'
It had all started with a simple bath... okay, simple probably wasn't the right word for it, but it still shouldn't have reached this level of awkwardness.
Lili was going through a difficult time. And just like a nurse helping a patient who could no longer bathe or take care of their own needs, this was something that had to be done. It was humiliating and embarrassing for both of them, but unavoidable.
Someone had to do it.
So Luki did what he thought was right.
He tried to make it as unawkward as possible by staying silent, being quick and precise, while still careful enough not to hurt her. Nothing more than necessary. Nothing beyond what the situation required.
That was all.
At least, that was what he told himself.
'Let me be selfish... Take. It. Off.'
The words repeated in his mind.
How was he supposed to respond to that? To these feelings?
Logically, the answer should have been no.
Even though feelings had developed between them over the past few months, something normal when you go through life-and-death situations together, they simply hadn't reached that level of intimacy, the level of romance.
Speaking of romance, there was also Hestia.
Luki already belonged to someone else. Doing this would mean betraying her trust.
But then he looked at Lili.
She could barely hold herself together, having mustered all the courage she possessed just to make that selfish request, even knowing it was something extreme, emotional blackmail, something that could end everything between them. Seeing that, Luki couldn't find the same resolve to refuse her outright.
This wasn't about desire. He wasn't being driven by impulse or thinking with his body, making a decision he would regret later.
As harsh as it was to admit, she was right when she said something...
Lili wasn't attractive enough to provoke that kind of reaction from him.
Her height wasn't really an issue, Hestia was small too, and short women often had their own kind of charm.
But malnourished, cursed, exhausted, and worn down, whatever charm Lili might have had was gone.
What remained was a fragile shell, filled with fear and uncertainty.
And that was the real problem.
Feelings.
From a logical standpoint, it was simple. In the six months Luki had spent in this world, three had been with Hestia, and three with Lili. By simple math, both occupied an equal space in his life.
But feelings didn't work that way.
No matter how much you tried to explain them with logic or reason, they couldn't be reduced to numbers. They simply existed.
And somehow, without him realizing when, Lili had carved a place inside his heart.
She had become someone precious.
Precious enough for him to risk his life to save her.
Precious enough for him to step out of his comfort zone just to make her comfortable.
Precious enough to make him hesitate over doing something he hadn't even done with Hestia.
'What do I do?'
While he didn't want to betray everything he and Hestia had built together and all the feelings behind it, he also didn't want to hurt Lili even more than she already was, but doing so would mean hurting the other woman.
Luki couldn't form a clear line of reasoning. He just stood there, staring at Lili with unfocused eyes.
While he remained trapped in his own chaos, someone else was still waiting for an answer.
And after a long time of waiting, she took his silence as one.
Lili's shoulders sank.
Her gaze drifted away from him and settled on the water. Her reflection shifted with the movement. The tension she had been holding slowly faded, replaced by something heavier.
— I see… — she said quietly, tears forming in her eyes.
There was no anger in her voice. Only disappointment, whether directed at Luki or at herself.
— I'm sorry. — She gave a weak smile. — That was stupid of me.
Luki's breath caught.
— Lili, that's not it, it's just-
— It's fine, Luki-sama. — She shook her head and wrapped her arms around herself while turning slightly to the side. — I knew it was impossible. I just… forgot for a moment.
She looked down.
— You don't have to do that. You never did. You've already done more than anyone ever would for someone like me. Let's just pretend none of this happened an...
Lili continued speaking, as if putting an end to the whole situation, but Luki was no longer paying attention to any of it.
'Someone like me.'
The words hit harder than she probably intended.
Luki watched her closely. Her hands trembled slightly as she drew her arms in, trying to make herself smaller, less noticeable, as if that would make things easier.
It wasn't hard to understand why.
Gathering enough courage to confess feelings while like this, sick and ugly, only to be met with silence. Anyone would break under that.
The fact that she didn't cry and runned away said more than tears ever could. Either she was resilient… or she had expected this outcome from the start.
She stayed quiet, hiding behind her thin arms, her expression caught between pain and acceptance.
Luki felt his stomach tighten.
Watching her try to hide from him, avoiding his gaze as if she didn't want to be seen like that, made something shift inside him.
It wasn't just embarrassment. It was shame. The kind that came from believing she had crossed a line, from thinking she had asked for something she was never meant to want.
Luki didn't love Lili the way he loved Hestia. That much was clear.
But that didn't mean his feelings for the Pallum were meaningless.
She wasn't someone he protected out of obligation anymore. She wasn't a burden he carried simply because he was stronger. Somewhere along the way, she had become someone he genuinely cared about.
And caring meant being affected.
So what were you supposed to do when you saw someone you cared about on the verge of breaking?
When staying silent, staying "right", was hurting them more than any wrong choice might?
'To hell with it.'
The thought came suddenly, rough and unpolished.
'I'm still young. Making mistakes is normal.'
He wasn't a god. He wasn't a hero meant to always choose correctly. He was just a man trying to navigate something he didn't fully understand, in a place where tomorrow wasn't guaranteed.
'…I'm sorry, Hestia.'
The apology wasn't spoken. It wasn't even clearly formed. It simply lingered, heavy in his chest.
With that thought, Luki lifted his head and slowly stepped back. The water shifted around his legs, the sound cutting through the silence of the cave.
That movement caught Lili's attention.
Without realizing it, she raised her head to look at him.
— Luki-sama...?
He didn't answer.
Luki simply kept walking, his steps steady as he moved away from the lake, until his feet left the water entirely.
For a brief moment, Lili thought he was leaving.
The thought sent a wave of terror through her chest, not fear of death, but of losing him. The idea of being abandoned by him hurt far more than any wound or curse ever could.
But then, to her surprise, Luki stopped.
Without looking back, he reached for his armor.
Clang.
A piece fell to the ground.
Clang.
Another followed.
There was no ceremony, no hesitation. He didn't bother placing the equipment carefully or treating it with the respect he once had.
One by one, the metal plates were stripped away and discarded, hitting the stone floor with dull, hollow sounds.
Seeing this, and understanding what it meant, Lili's eyes slowly began to shine.
With some difficulty, Luki finally freed himself from the last pieces of metal covering his body. Once the armor was gone, he reached for the gambeson beneath it.
As he pulled off the upper part, the smell hit him immediately. Only then did he realize how bad it was and how long it had been since he'd taken a proper bath.
Slowly, he removed the lower part as well and tossed it onto the growing pile at his feet.
With the gambeson gone, there was nothing left.
Luki stood with his back to her, completely naked.
For a moment, Lili didn't realize she was staring.
His body was fully exposed under the dim blue light of the cave, without armor or cloth to hide it.
She could see his back clearly now, strong and muscular with well-defined muscles. Dirt clung to his skin in uneven patches, mixed with dried sweat.
His shoulders were broad, his posture straight. Below that, his legs were strong and well-defined, what was expected of someone who can run so fast. Even standing still, he looked ready for anything.
His long hair fell loose down his neck, tangled and unkempt, strands sticking to his skin. His elven ears, once again freed from their prison called a helmet, began to stretch unconsciously like any other limb.
Lili swallowed.
Seeing him like this made Lili feel conflicted. Part of her felt guilty for having pushed him into this, for knowing that he hadn't done it because he wanted to, but because he couldn't bring himself to hurt her.
At the same time, she couldn't deny the quiet relief and happiness settling in her chest. She had asked, he had stayed and still did it, and that alone meant more to her than she was willing to admit.
That realization only made the guilt settle deeper.
Then, slowly, Luki turned his head.
Their eyes met.
Lili's breath caught as she looked at him. Her eyes shone with a range of emotions, but mostly anxiety and anticipation. Luki's gaze, on the other hand, was steady. There was no hesitation in it anymore, only determination.
He didn't need to say anything, and neither did she. In that moment, words would have only gotten in the way.
Then he turned fully toward her and began to walk.
Lili's face burned instantly. She turned her head away in a panic, her heart pounding wildly, because Luki didn't bother to hide anything as he moved.
'It's so big…'
A moment later, she heard the water shift.
Luki stepped into the lake and began walking toward her, slow and deliberate, the ripples spreading around him as the distance between them closed.
After a moment, when she sensed he was close enough that the water must have reached his waist, Lili slowly lifted her gaze again.
Luki was standing right in front of her.
Silent. Only a few centimeters away. Looking down at her without wavering.
Lili swallowed hard as she met his eyes. His gaze didn't shift even for an instant. Maybe now that things had gone this far, he no longer felt the need to hold anything back, not even his restraint.
That realization made her chest tighten.
Feeling more exposed than ever under the intensity of his stare, Lili instinctively wrapped her arms around herself, turning her body slightly and hiding her front, her face burning with embarrassment.
— Lili...
— Luki-sama...