Chapter 226: Little Howard's First Appearance - Who Can Be More Perverted Than Me?
"Joey, it's only because you refused to be the lead in that little movie. If it were someone else, they probably wouldn't have refused."
Chandler mocked while winking at everyone to pay attention to Ross's mesmerized gaze.
"Oh my God!"
Monica complained. "Can you please stop making that face? It's disgusting."
"...What face?"
Ross quickly lowered his head to compose himself, then glared at his younger sister with dissatisfaction. "You're always ragging on me!"
"Who else would she rag on if not you?"
Chandler teased. "Chuck, perhaps?"
He then imitated Chuck's expressionless face.
"Hahaha!"
Rachel and Phoebe couldn't help but burst into laughter.
"So what if I said he was?"
Ross said angrily. "I don't believe he had that expression the whole time!"
As soon as he said this, everyone looked at Monica, their eyes full of gossip.
"Why are you looking at me?"
Monica said irritably. "I don't remember."
"Oh my God!"
"So envious!"
Rachel and Phoebe immediately exclaimed with envy and jealousy.
"How is that 'oh my God' and 'so envious'?"
Ross said indignantly. "Shouldn't we be complaining about her getting more and more forgetful? I think she's just getting older!"
"You don't understand at all, do you?"
Rachel shook her head and looked at Ross with a smile.
"I see."
Phoebe nodded in agreement.
Monica brought some snacks to everyone and distributed them one by one.
"Where's mine?"
Ross called out.
"Oh, sorry, I forgot."
Monica retorted sarcastically.
Just as the siblings were bickering, the phone rang, and Monica happily took it out to look.
"Is it Chuck's?"
Rachel asked gossipingly.
"No."
Monica shook her head in disappointment, then gestured for everyone to be quiet. "Dad, what's wrong? What?!"
Ross was sneaking a bite of the snacks on the table while Monica was on the phone. Suddenly, he noticed everyone's eyes were on him. He stopped pretending and rolled his eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Ross! Grandma passed away!"
Monica said absentmindedly after hanging up the phone.
"What?!"
Ross was stunned for a moment, then dropped the snacks in his hand, pulled out his phone, looked left and right, and saw no missed calls. He then seized on the key point and exclaimed, "Dad contacted you first?!"
"..."
Monica, still reeling from the news of her grandmother's death, was jolted back to reality by these words, glaring fiercely at Ross. "Didn't you hear what I said?!"
"Yes, I heard it. Grandma passed away."
Ross lowered his head sadly, then asked his crucial question again. "It's not April Fool's Day, is it?"
"Even if it were April Fool's Day, would your dad joke about this with you?"
Chandler teased. "If he's that humorous and brave, I'd have to admit defeat and give him Chuck's humor crown."
"It's not impossible, though. My dad is quite humorous..."
Ross still couldn't accept it, and seeing Monica about to explode, he directly confronted her, shouting, "I just can't believe that Dad would notify you first, instead of me, about something so important!"
"You won't want to know the answer!"
Monica scoffed, grabbing her keys and heading out.
Ross quickly followed.
Monica drove Ross to the hospital, where they met their parents, who were already waiting outside the ward.
After a hug, they waited outside for the final moments to arrive.
Monica's grandmother had been on a ventilator for a long time; now that it had been removed, they were just waiting for her to be pronounced dead.
"Do you know why I love her?"
Everyone started talking about how good her grandmother was, and Monica smiled. "She always had a Werther's Original in her purse."
"Do you know why I love her?"
Ross chimed in. "She always told me first when something happened—just like Mom and Dad used to..."
"Oh my God!"
Monica snapped. "At a time like this, you're still thinking about Dad calling me first?!"
"Isn't what I said true?"
Ross retorted. "Whether it's Mom and Dad or Grandma, they always let me know first when something happens."
"Prince, not everything is about you!"
Monica glared at him.
Ross remained silent, just looking at his parents, who looked somewhat embarrassed, waiting for their explanation.
"Mainly because Monica has a car,"
Mom explained.
"Hmm."
As Ross's expression softened slightly, Dad nodded and spoke up. "I didn't think so before, but now I don't know why, but I always feel reassured knowing Monica has a car."
"..."
Ross's face darkened. He really wanted to ask, "Is this even about the car?"
At this moment, a nurse came out of the ward and gestured for everyone to come in.
"You two siblings, go in,"
Ross's mother said. "We need to call our relatives now. Your aunt and the others are still far away in Pasadena; we have to notify them."
"Okay,"
Monica and Ross agreed and went inside.
Peace Town.
Mountain villa.
"I know,"
Chuck received a call from Chandler.
"The funeral is in three days. Are you coming?"
Chandler confirmed.
"Yes."
Chuck nodded.
"Okay, I got it."
Chandler mimicked Chuck's tone, then couldn't help but tease. "It's best to come alone, don't bring Jane, otherwise if Ross's grandmother finds out that her grandchildren are so deeply involved with lesbians, she might just come back to life in shock."
Just now at the hospital, Ross and Monica went to see their deceased grandmother. While saying goodbye, their grandmother suddenly woke up, almost scaring Ross to death. They called a nurse and learned that this was a very rare occurrence, but she had indeed passed away.
"..."
Jane was next to Chuck, listening attentively. Hearing this, she couldn't help but twitch her lips, wanting to shout, "Monica and I are not like Ross's ex-wife Carol and Susan!!!"
But thinking of Monica sleepwalking with a knife, she held back the words.
Three days later.
Chuck attended Monica's grandmother's funeral on time.
"My husband left me, and now my mother has left me too! What did I do wrong?"
A loud voice wailed as soon as he arrived, its energy reminiscent of a professional mourner at a Southern Baptist funeral, but unlike a drawn-out voice, this one sounded more like a piercing scream.
Chandler and the others gathered around Chuck when they saw him approach. Seeing Chuck looking at the wailing woman, they quickly introduced her. "This is Monica's aunt, Mrs. Wolowitz—she's Mrs. Geller's sister. She lives in Pasadena. I heard her husband just left her. That's her son, Monica's cousin, Howard Jr."
Chuck followed their gaze and saw a little boy standing beside the large, wailing figure, head bowed, his expression not sad, but rather somewhat bored, his eyes darting around.
Monica, who was with her relatives, saw Chuck and came over. "Chuck, you're here."
"Yes,"
Chuck nodded.
"Monica, introduce me."
A short figure had somehow crept up to him, smiling at Monica as he looked at Chuck.
"Chuck, let me introduce you. This is my cousin, Howard Wolowitz."
Monica introduced them. "Howard, this is Chuck—no need for me to introduce you, right?"
"No, no."
Young Howard smiled obsequiously and extended his hand to Chuck. "Detective Chuck is my idol. I've heard so many of your legendary stories from Ross. It's so great to meet you."
Chuck didn't shake his hand, but just looked at the outstretched hand, expressionless, and said, "Since you've heard so much about me from Ross, you should know why I won't shake your hand, right?"
"Why?"
Young Howard was stunned.
He really didn't know. After all, Ross had shared some of Chuck's stories, but he couldn't reveal his own embarrassing moments.
Knowing the joke, Joey and the others chuckled softly, quickly stopping after attracting attention.
While there was a bittersweet feeling, it was best not to laugh too loudly.
"Hey, beautiful goddess, tell me!"
Little Howard's lewdness was ingrained in his DNA; though young, it was already showing. While other children's smiles were adorable, making women like Rachel want to hug and kiss them, little Howard's smile was unsettling.
"You should ask your cousin Ross,"
Rachel said with a look of disgust, gesturing for Ross, who approached with a dark expression, to explain.
"Ross, why didn't Detective Chuck shake my hand?"
Little Howard looked at his cousin.
"You have the nerve to ask!"
Ross was both angry at Chuck for bringing up the topic and at his little cousin for trying to flirt with Rachel.
"Oh, I see."
Little Howard's eyes darted around. "Is it like how my mom makes me wear gloves to school, to prevent other kids from passing germs on to me?"
"Anyway, it's not because I'm afraid of getting pregnant after shaking your hand."
Chandler couldn't help but taunt him.
Ross's face turned pale, then red. He had completely lost Chandler as a friend!
"Then what is the reason?"
Little Howard pretended not to understand the taunts and lowered his head sadly. "It can't be like my dad, suddenly running away from home for no reason, abandoning his wife and child, right?"
"..."
Everyone fell silent.
"Not bad acting."
Chuck interrupted the silence.
"What? He's playing the victim?"
Rachel, who had been a little soft-hearted, finally realized what was happening and stared at Little Howard in disbelief. "Playing the victim with something like this?"
"Wow!"
Phoebe exclaimed. "He's got real talent."
Hmm.
He has a bit of her flair!
"..."
Rachel, still reeling from the shock, heard Phoebe's words and, recalling Phoebe's usual antics of using her family's tragic past to elicit sympathy, suddenly realized that aside from the astonishing fact that "little Howard knows how to do this at such a young age," it didn't seem like such a big deal.
Little Howard's father had simply run away from home, abandoning his wife and child.
Phoebe's mother, however, had committed suicide, her stepfather was imprisoned, she herself had been homeless since childhood, and there were various unverified and true stories of misery—far worse than little Howard's.
"At least he didn't run away on Thanksgiving, and he wasn't trying to make out with your mother's pool boy before running off with your male piano teacher."
And of course, Chandler couldn't resist his usual self-deprecating humor.
"..."
Little Howard was dumbfounded.
He had hoped to gain sympathy by playing the victim, ideally receiving a hug and comfort from the goddesses, but who would have thought that his freshly baked "Where's Dad?" tragic story would lead to this result?
This is so illogical!
Fortunately, the group started walking towards the cemetery, and everyone moved along with them.
Little Howard looked left and right, then jogged over to Phoebe. "Sister, you have sad stories too, just like me, right?"
"How did you know?"
Phoebe watched his performance with interest.
"I can tell."
Little Howard was very proud, leaning against Phoebe and lowering his voice. "Otherwise, you wouldn't be such a good wife~"
As soon as he said this, his friends who had been watching him all along were stunned.
"Ross Geller!!!"
Monica shouted loudly.
"It wasn't me!"
Ross was also stunned by his little cousin's crazy actions. When he saw his sister yelling at him without regard for the occasion, and everyone looking over, especially his friends who knew the inside story, with their condemning gazes, he immediately became alert and quickly denied, "I never showed him those..."
"If it wasn't you, then who was it?!"
Monica didn't believe him at all.
Although young Howard seemed like a troublemaker, Chuck had previously pointed it out: few children are born bad; most are influenced by poor upbringing and bad role models.
Besides her always-mischievous older brother Ross, who else could have led young Howard astray, mistaking Phoebe for Ursula, the twin sister who starred in the adult film "The Good Wife"?
Just a few days ago, Ross was caught going against his friends' unanimous decision not to watch Ursula's films!
Who else could it be but him?!
"What's wrong?"
Monica's mother rushed over to ask.
"Nothing,"
Rachel and the others quickly covered it up.
This was a sensitive matter, especially in this situation.
"It really wasn't me!"
After his mother left, Ross explained, extremely frustrated. Seeing that no one believed him, he panicked and forgot his conflict with Chuck, pointing at Chuck and saying, "Ask him if you don't believe me! He can tell if people are telling the truth! Ask him, did I do this?!"
Everyone turned to look at Chuck.
"It's not a lie,"
Chuck said honestly.
"You heard that!"
Ross excitedly looked around at everyone.
"Howard, you said it yourself!"
Monica believed him and looked at Howard Jr.
"It can't all be Ross's fault..."
Howard Jr. hesitated.
"Can't all be Ross's fault?" Joey pondered. "So it's still Ross's fault?"
"Chuck said he wasn't lying—one possibility is that Ross wasn't lying."
Chandler never forgot to tease. "Another possibility is that he couldn't tell the truth either, like if Ross had become a sociopath?"
Everyone immediately turned to look at him.
Although they knew it was mockery, they couldn't help but think it might actually be true. After all, Ross's image in their eyes was becoming increasingly that of a psychopath.
"You!"
Ross was almost driven mad by Howard Jr., pointing at Howard Jr., speechless with anger. Hearing Chandler's teasing, he lost his footing and slipped and disappeared.
"Whoa, did he fall into a crack in the ground?"
Chandler exclaimed in surprise.
Everyone gathered around to look, only to find that Ross wasn't ashamed and angry, wishing he could disappear into the ground. Rather, they had unknowingly walked near the grave site, and Ross had fallen into the open grave without noticing.
"I'm okay, I'm okay."
Ross was quite frightened by the incident, and his anger vanished instantly. Before anyone could ask, he jumped up and reassured everyone.
"The second sign."
Phoebe, who always believed in the existence of spirits and that the dead liked to seek her out, pointed a finger to warn him.
"Quick, pull me up!"
Ross was almost scared to death and scrambled to his feet.
Adding to the incident in the hospital room where he said goodbye to his deceased grandmother, hugged her, and was frightened by her 'resurrection,' wasn't that the second sign?
"Tell me!"
Monica, seeing that Ross was alright, ignored him and focused on young Howard.
Her grandmother's passing was sad enough without this drama, but Howard's behavior at such a young age was clearly more serious.
"I needed to go online, and Ross's computer password was too easy to crack..."
Howard said weakly.
"What were you going online for?"
Everyone suddenly realized, and Monica pressed.
"To find my dad."
Howard paused for a moment, then said in a low voice. "I wanted to leave him a message, tell him to come home."
"..."
Monica was speechless, her expression softening. She opened her mouth to comfort him, but didn't know what to say. Rachel and Phoebe also came over, Phoebe patting Howard's head.
"Poor little thing."
"What's your screen name?"
Chuck suddenly asked.
"..."
Little Howard was smugly enjoying the company of beautiful women, nuzzling Phoebe's hand and inhaling her perfume, when Chuck's sudden question, like a bolt from the blue, made him instinctively blurt out his screen name.
Hmm.
What a direct and blatant guy!
The entire group fell silent instantly.
After a while, unsurprisingly, Chandler teased and complained: "If I were your father, seeing people with that screen name constantly leaving messages looking for me, I'd have stayed gone forever."
(End of Chapter)
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