Chapter 227: The Numb Rocket Wizard - Troublemaker! You Annoying Bastard! Don't Come Any Closer!
"You think this is something I could influence?"
Ross was also stunned by his little cousin's outrageous screen name. Hearing Chandler's sharp retort, he finally reacted and asked the soul-searching question to the group that had been doubting him.
"..."
Everyone was speechless.
Although, with Chuck's reminder, they gradually realized Ross's somewhat abnormal psychological tendencies, compared to little Howard, it seemed like nothing.
The student surpasses the teacher, but this is not the way to surpass.
How old is little Howard?
This can only be described as a natural gift!
"I misspoke—my screen name is Rocket Wizard. You know, from Wolowitz... sounds like wizard."
Little Howard was caught off guard by Chuck and, seeing that he was about to be in trouble, quickly tried to make amends.
"Yeah, yeah."
Chandler couldn't help but complain. "We know that apart from actual wizardry, there's no way to explain this unscientific physiological phenomenon."
"..."
Little Howard looked at Chandler with a strange expression, who never followed the expected path of sympathizing with him and always managed to make sharp criticisms, his teeth itching with resentment.
"My most admired hero is Wernher von Braun, and I want to be a rocket engineer when I grow up—the first Jewish astronaut."
Little Howard looked at everyone, especially the increasingly disdainful looks from the three beauties, and tried to make one last effort. "So sometimes my screen name is Rocket Man."
"Don't explain, we can see that."
Chandler patted Little Howard on the shoulder, his criticisms unstoppable. "Although you're small, your obsession with big things is no less than Chuck's OCD, but no one can blame you—who doesn't like big things?"
"..."
Little Howard was completely dumbfounded, because in a way, Chandler's criticism was indeed correct. For example, in online games, the Rocket Wizard's favorite female game character was always the tallest, most Amazonian warrior woman.
"Hey bro, I get you."
Joey, standing on Howard's other side, patted him on the shoulder and winked.
"Joey!!!"
Monica yelled.
"Sorry."
Joey didn't dare show any more friendliness to the younger generation, gave Howard a 'good luck' look, and looked away.
But the sound of a live football broadcast could be heard coming from inside his jacket.
Yes.
That's right!
He was watching the football broadcast at Monica's grandmother's funeral.
Monica heard it too, but she didn't care about such a trivial matter at the moment. She looked at her little cousin seriously. "Howard, go to your mother. She's already very sad. You don't want her to be even sadder, do you?"
Howard could only smile awkwardly and walk away to find his mother.
"Good Lord."
After her flamboyant little cousin walked away, Monica complained to everyone. "What's going on here! If this keeps up, our family will become a laughing stock again."
"Huh?"
Ross was immediately defensive. "What do you mean, 'again'?"
"Chuck, what do you think we should do?"
Monica gave Ross a look that said, 'You have the nerve to ask?' and then looked at Chuck with concern.
"He's influenced by his environment. He just doesn't have enough friends his own age. We should introduce him to someone his own age."
Chuck said.
"A friend his own age? You mean Leonard?"
Monica suddenly realized. "Leonard is indeed a very suitable friend, and Howard does lack friends. It's also because his aunt is too overprotective of him..."
"Is this a typical example of someone with natural talent who also works hard?"
Chandler couldn't help but tease.
"No, I'm talking about Sheldon."
Chuck interrupted their obvious discussion.
"..."
Everyone stared at Chuck speechlessly.
They had all met Leonard and Sheldon Jr. and were deeply impressed by their distinct personalities. If they had to choose one to introduce as a friend to the children, the only choice would be Leonard Jr., not Sheldon Jr.
Was this out of affection or hatred?
"Chuck, it can't be that bad, can it?"
Monica smiled wryly. "Howard's still young. Even if he has some bad habits... there's no need to treat him like this."
"You don't believe me?"
Chuck looked at Monica.
"It's not that I don't believe it..."
Monica quickly explained. "It's just that it's really a bit hard to believe. I still think Leonard is more suitable."
"You're wrong,"
Chuck said. "Sheldon is more suitable for Howard. If Leonard were to get to know Howard and become friends with him, Leonard would only be corrupted by Howard. The reason is simple: children, especially teenagers approaching puberty, are naturally interested in sex. They have no resistance to Howard's flirtatious and perverted charm. Only the asexual, prematurely mature Sheldon can perfectly resist this flirtatious and perverted charm, and can even have a reverse influence and correction."
"That makes sense,"
Chandler joked, "but I still feel like you're making Howard miserable."
"You're wrong,"
Chuck bluntly corrected. "My main goal is to make Sheldon miserable; making Howard miserable is just a side effect."
If he had just teased Sheldon like this before, embarrassing him, the system would have already given him a double reward of points. But now, there was no response, indicating that Howard, like Leonard, didn't have Sheldon's unique qualities.
Therefore, introducing Howard to Sheldon was primarily to make him miserable.
Thinking this, Chuck, ignoring everyone's speechless gazes, added, "I'll personally introduce them as friends later."
Yes.
Then Sheldon would know who brought Howard into his life, and as someone who could easily be added to Sheldon's enemy list in the future, the problematic Howard had the ability to make Sheldon feel incredibly frustrated.
"Having a friend like you, Sheldon's life is truly complete,"
Chandler quipped.
The others exchanged strange glances, but their eyes were full of agreement. Although they hadn't had much contact with Sheldon, their limited interactions allowed them to quickly grasp his essence: he always found a way to annoy everyone, yet no one could really argue with him.
And since Sheldon met Chuck, and from the 'funny stories' they'd heard from Leonard, they'd come to the same conclusion: Chuck always found a way to annoy Sheldon, and Sheldon couldn't retaliate.
It was like two extremes; after a clash, Sheldon's awfulness seemed to lessen considerably, becoming 'moderate, peaceful, and complete.'
The funeral, being for someone who lived a long life, was uneventful.
Except for Monica's father, who, as the son-in-law, truly took the celebratory funeral style to the extreme. Upon discovering Joey listening to the live football broadcast, he immediately called everyone else to gather around and listen, occasionally exclaiming in surprise at the game's progress—it looked like a game being watched at a sports bar.
"Howard, we need to talk."
Monica and the others approached Howard Jr.
"Okay."
Howard Jr. knew he'd been caught, so he abandoned his craftiness and meekly agreed, but couldn't help pointing at Chandler and pleading with his cousin. "But could you ask him to leave?"
"Hahaha."
Everyone was taken aback, then burst into laughter.
"...Of course."
Chandler's lips twitched as he strode out with an exaggerated gait, muttering, "If one of me leaves, there are a thousand more of me!"
Howard Jr. watched Chandler leave, a sigh of relief in his heart. He couldn't stand Chandler's sarcastic remarks; he knew Chandler's tendency to constantly roast him was unbearable. Although he guessed Chandler's last remark implied Chuck was a million times more difficult than himself, he knew his cousin's relationship with Chuck and Chuck's status, so he wisely refrained from asking Chuck to leave as well.
Otherwise, he felt the conversation would be pointless, as he was essentially dead in his cousin's eyes.
His cousin definitely wouldn't care about him anymore, let alone pay attention to him, which was not the situation he wanted.
It wasn't that family ties mattered, but rather that his cousin Monica's two best friends were just too beautiful and attractive.
"Howard, you must have very few friends, right?"
Monica glanced at Chuck, then began to give her little cousin some psychological counseling.
"Yeah."
Little Howard stood there obediently, a wry smile that wasn't so repulsive. "You all know, I have to wear gloves to school. My mom's afraid I'll catch germs from others. Plus, I'm pretty smart, so where would I get any friends?"
He glanced at Ross, his eyes full of sincerity, and said, "From childhood to adulthood, maybe only my cousin Ross is my only friend."
"..."
Ross's face darkened. Facing the condemning gazes of the crowd again, he couldn't help but shout, "Don't drag me into this! I'm not your friend!!!"
"Sigh."
Little Howard shrugged. "Okay, I can finally confirm it completely. I don't have any friends."
"That's so sad,"
Monica said unemotionally, then got straight to the point. "Didn't you say Chuck is your idol? How about you ask him to introduce you to a friend?"
"Great!"
Little Howard's face lit up with joy, and he flashed that perverted smile again. "The reason I admire Detective Chuck is because he has so many friends~"
"Monica, stop!"
Rachel and Phoebe, as best friends, immediately sensed something was wrong and quickly pulled Monica away from Howard, who was about to explode.
Howard also sensed something was amiss, shrinking back and backing away, looking at Monica with a wronged expression, his eyes full of: "What? Can't I even speak the truth?"
His admiration for Chuck stemmed from this.
No matter how his cousin Ross rewrote Chuck's story, with his intelligence and focus, he easily extracted the key elements and grasped the crucial point he wanted: Chuck was very capable. Then, after the timely rescue of the brilliant Amy, the news media bombarded him with gossip, and he clearly understood the key point: Chuck had many beautiful girlfriends!
"What kind of friends?"
Howard didn't dare look at his cousin Monica, looking expectantly at Chuck.
"You'll like them,"
Chuck said seriously.
"Really?"
Howard Jr. was even more excited. "When are we going?"
"We can go in a bit,"
Chuck said. "As long as you're ready."
"I'm ready,"
Howard Jr. said solemnly, with an expression of someone ready to go into battle.
"Okay,"
Chuck nodded, and together with Monica, they drove Howard Jr. away.
"Can I take a picture with you?"
In the car, Howard Jr. felt closer to everyone and asked expectantly.
"No."
Chuck bluntly refused.
"..."
Howard Jr.'s lips twitched, then he put on a sly, servile grin. "Then can I tell someone that you're my good friend?"
"Who can you tell?"
Chuck asked expressionlessly.
"...Tell the friend you're introducing me to later."
Although Howard Jr. always maintained a humble attitude, he still felt deeply uncomfortable with Chuck's overly blunt words. He admitted he had no friends, and after a self-deprecating remark, a sudden sense of foreboding washed over him. "By the way, the friend you're introducing me to should be a pretty girl, right?"
"By most people's standards, he's handsome."
Chuck nodded.
"He?"
Howard Jr. completely lost his composure, his voice rising uncontrollably.
"He's definitely his aunt's son."
Monica, sitting in the passenger seat, couldn't help but mock her younger cousin, noticing the change in his voice.
Her aunt, Mrs. Wolowitz, was known for her distinctive voice.
"Does he or she make any difference to you?"
Chuck retorted.
"..."
Howard Jr. really wanted to yell, "How can there be no difference?"
But after a few seconds of eye contact with Chuck's piercing eyes in the rearview mirror, he swallowed back his pent-up anger.
Okay.
Thinking about it carefully, although he was reluctant to admit it, the point wasn't the pronoun, but whether they were attractive or not...
The car fell silent.
After a long while, young Howard opened his mouth, weakly trying to close the distance. "You know, I'm actually going to be a scientist someday."
"A rocket scientist?"
Chuck replied noncommittally.
"...Yeah."
Young Howard was stunned for a moment, then nodded with a smile. "I like science, although I mainly like mechanical engineering, but I admire aerospace engineers like Wernher von Braun the most, so becoming a real rocket scientist in the future is indeed perfect! Thank you, Chuck, you helped me find the right direction in science."
"Well said, don't say that again."
Chuck nodded.
"...Excuse me, what did you say?"
Young Howard was caught off guard again, unable to follow Chuck's train of thought, and could only stare at Chuck with a bewildered look.
Didn't you ask me if I wanted to be a rocket scientist?
Then he seemed to understand something, and the corner of his mouth twitched again.
"Rocket scientist," literally meaning a scientist who studies rockets, has a figurative meaning in the United States, implying that something requires extremely high intelligence to accomplish.
This is a compliment!
But just as any good word takes on a different meaning when spoken by Chandler, "rocket scientist" can also carry an ironic connotation, like saying "it doesn't take a rocket scientist" to do something simple.
At this moment, young Howard understood the profound meaning behind Chandler's parting words, "One me is gone, but there are thousands upon thousands more."
"You misunderstand."
Chuck explained. "The friend I'm introducing you to later is quite intelligent. If you tell him you want to be a rocket scientist, you won't be able to make this friend."
In young Sheldon's eyes, the term "rocket scientist," a compliment in the eyes of ordinary people, was utterly derogatory.
For young Sheldon, who aspired to study theoretical physics and uncover the ultimate mysteries of the universe, a rocket scientist in the literal sense was no different from an engineer or technician—respectable, but hardly intellectually ambitious.
"..."
Young Howard was completely dumbfounded.
Leaving aside Chuck's constantly shifting train of thought that left him completely unable to follow, just the sliver of information Chuck revealed about his upcoming friend suddenly gave him a clue.
It was bound to be a super troublemaker! A super annoying person!
If he had the courage to shout out his true feelings, it would definitely be: "Don't come any closer!!!"
However, facing his cousin Monica, who was still clenching her fists and wanting to have a serious chat with him, and Chuck, who always managed to surprise him, he remained extremely quiet, his face displaying only a humble yet stiff smile.
(End of Chapter)
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