Chapter 228: Armed Robots VS Hugging Robots, Rocket Wizard: Nobody Knows Robots Better Than Me!
New Jersey.
Hofstadter House.
Chuck and Monica, carrying the already discouraged young Howard, arrived at Leonard's house and rang the doorbell.
"It must be my package! Leonard!"
"What? It's your package, not mine!"
"Whose house is this? Who's the host? Who's the guest?"
"I'm curious about that too!!!"
A haughty, self-righteous, and childish voice came from the other side, along with a frustrated, indignant, and helpless childish voice.
"Let me guess, the friend you're introducing me to definitely isn't named Leonard~"
Before even seeing the person, Howard heard the voice, and his clever little brain immediately guessed that Chuck was probably introducing him to the owner of that haughty, childish voice.
"You'll thank me later,"
Chuck said seriously.
It was only because Director Randy Fischer, who was known as the dynamic duo alongside Chandler, wasn't there that he would have burst out laughing.
This is because it's one of Detective Monk's classic quotes. Whenever the obsessive-compulsive Monk corrects something he disapproves of, and this affects others and draws disapproving looks, he'll say this.
The truth is, no one ever thanks him afterward, except himself.
It's a classic example of being oblivious.
Just then, the door opened, and Leonard and Sheldon stood there, one after the other.
"Chuck!"
Leonard exclaimed with great surprise.
Young Sheldon involuntarily took a step back, his eyes filled with wariness. "It's not my package... why are you here again?"
"Let me introduce you to a friend."
Chuck went straight to the point, letting Howard Jr. in and introducing him to the group. "This is Monica's cousin, Howard Wolowitz. I think you two could be friends."
"I don't need friends."
Young Sheldon glanced at Howard Jr. and announced the result. "Besides, not just anyone can be my friend."
"..."
Even though Howard Jr. knew that the most sensible thing to do at this moment was to go along with it and get rid of this incredibly troublesome and annoying guy, he was still young and inexperienced. He had always been considered the smartest brain in his family, and he couldn't stand being looked down upon by his peers!
The key was that the other party wasn't even a pretty girl!
This was absolutely unacceptable!
"What? Didn't you come to Earth to make friends?"
Howard Jr. directly mocked, while imitating the classic gesture from the movie E.T., extending his finger to touch Sheldon Jr.'s finger.
Leonard burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?"
Sheldon frowned at Leonard, who waved his hand dismissively, then looked at Howard and shook his head unfazed. "I won't touch your finger."
"..."
Howard's lips twitched, and he couldn't help but look at Chuck.
That line sounded so familiar.
Monica turned away, trying hard not to laugh.
"Are you serious?"
Howard, seeing Chuck's expressionless face, could only suppress his inner grumbling and looked at Sheldon suspiciously. "Can't you tell? I'm Elliott, and you're E.T. from outer space."
"And the kind and cute one at that,"
Leonard added quietly.
Howard chuckled, then extended his finger again, touching it with Leonard's, who also extended his. Both of them chuckled.
Monica couldn't help but look at Chuck; these two were truly best friends.
"You're Elliott, and I'm E.T. the alien?"
Young Sheldon still didn't get the joke, but having seen the E.T. movie, he bluntly corrected him. "Do you have an older brother or sister?"
"...No."
Young Howard's smile faltered, and he said self-deprecatingly. "I'd like a younger brother or sister, but unfortunately my dad won't allow it. He abandoned his wife and kid and left us."
"That's a shame."
Young Leonard immediately looked at his interesting new friend with pity.
Hmm, it seems the more tragic his experiences, the funnier he becomes, just like the amusing Chandler!
Young Howard shrugged and smiled at Young Leonard, indicating he was fine, secretly thinking, "Why isn't Leonard a pretty girl?"
Since his father abandoned his wife and kid and left home, he had used this self-deprecating joke at least ten times, but never successfully, to the point that he was almost giving up on it.
"What's there to regret?"
Sheldon said bluntly. "Younger siblings are terrible, it's best if they're not here. Your dad is really smart."
"..."
Howard's lips twitched. Although he could use self-deprecation to gain some sympathy, it didn't mean he could accept Sheldon saying that. He glared at Sheldon for a while, only to be met with Sheldon's open stare. He could only sullenly mock, "In your alien eyes, this might really be a smart dad~"
"You're not Elliott, and I'm not E.T. the alien,"
Sheldon corrected. "If you really want to use this as a comparison, I have an older brother and a younger sister, which is more like Elliott, only a super-intelligent version of Elliott. I have indeed fantasized about meeting aliens, but they're not friends with me. Instead, they come from distant interstellar space or even the distant future, traveling in spaceships, traversing the boundless space and even time, to this era and place, begging me, the smartest person in the world, to save the world!"
"Hahaha."
While Howard was stunned by Sheldon's arrogance, Leonard burst into laughter.
"What are you laughing at?"
Young Sheldon looked at him with displeasure.
"Aliens traveling through time to find you? The smartest person in the world?"
Young Leonard burst into laughter. "If aliens really needed to travel through time to find the smartest person in the world to save it, their first choice would be to travel to the far future, and their second choice would be to travel to the past to find our ancestors. Even if they didn't have the first or second choice, and came to our era, do you really think they would look for you?"
As he spoke, he gestured for Sheldon to look at Chuck.
Sheldon glared at Leonard, who returned the gaze smugly, chin held high. He was fed up with Sheldon's arrogance in their daily interactions, but whenever Chuck was mentioned, he always had the upper hand.
Seeing that Howard didn't quite understand the origin of the joke, he vividly explained Chuck's saying, "First, look to the future; second, respect the ancestors," right in front of Sheldon.
Howard immediately glanced at Chuck, feeling an overwhelming aura of dominance, and felt a deep regret that such a person couldn't be his friend.
"My package is almost here!"
Sheldon didn't dare provoke Chuck, and could only continue glaring at Leonard, who was using Chuck to rub salt in his wounds.
"You think I'm afraid of you?"
Leonard felt triumphant. "My hugging robot is absolutely not afraid of your armed robot that can't even keep your sister out of your room."
"What robot?"
Howard's eyes lit up.
Monica looked over curiously.
"My family situation... Chuck knows."
Leonard said somewhat embarrassedly, half-concealingly. "My mother is a bit emotionally distant. To help bridge the gap in my parents' relationship, I designed and built a hugging robot for my dad, so he can get a hug when he needs it."
"Are you sure this is the correct use of a robot?"
Howard, though hearing about this for the first time, immediately noticed the problem and made a suggestive connection.
"Huh?"
Leonard looked at Howard, puzzled.
"Of course not the correct use!"
Sheldon exclaimed. "Our bodies are fragile. Severe physical restraint affects brain function. The correct use of a robot should be to compensate for our physical deficiencies, acting as our mechanical bodyguard! Not as some kind of emotional hugging machine!"
"You're a real robot, so naturally you don't need emotions."
Leonard mocked. "If you ask me, why did you have your mother mail you that armed robot you assembled? Just go and fight my hugging machine yourself!"
He then explained the whole story to everyone.
It turns out the two boys were at home, and Leonard's father came to borrow the hugging machine his son designed to replace his mother's embrace again, because Beverly, the female version of Sheldon, was rather cold towards her husband.
Hmm.
Before Leonard had his three children, Leonard's father, Dr. Alfred Hofstadter, was relatively happy.
His wife, Beverly, took a scientific approach to having children, and all their marital relations were geared towards conception, prioritizing efficiency and effectiveness.
But now they already had three children—the experimental group, the control group, and the additional observation group were all complete—there was no need for any more children.
So Alfred's nightmare began: his wife Beverly proposed a once-a-year frequency and unilaterally and happily decided on it.
Even the legendary star-crossed lovers couldn't be more extreme.
Under these circumstances, Alfred's occasional borrowing of the hugging machine designed and built by his son truly makes him a good man.
After the hugging machine was borrowed, the two boys started talking about it. Young Sheldon said he also had a robot, and they quickly started arguing. Then, Leonard, who had recently made great progress in chess by constantly challenging Sheldon with Chuck's support, suggested they have a competition to see whose robot was better.
Feeling challenged, Sheldon naturally wouldn't back down and immediately called his mother to mail him an armed robot.
Now they were waiting for it to arrive so they could settle things once it arrived.
"I can be the referee,"
Howard said, very interested in the activity, raising his hand to express his desire to participate. "Nobody knows more about robots than me!"
"You?"
Sheldon gave Howard a disdainful look.
"It's me,"
Howard retorted. "When I get back, I'll design and build my own combat robot, and then I'll show you what a real robot is."
"Howard, you're really interested in this?"
Leonard, who already considered Howard a friend, asked curiously.
"Yeah."
Howard Jr. glanced at Chuck, who had already walked away with Monica. "I plan to be an astronaut someday, design and build spacecraft, and then go to space myself. You know Wernher von Braun, right?"
"Of course!"
Leonard Jr. said. "He designed the Saturn V rocket that took us to the moon! He's a legend!"
"He's my idol. I'll become an astronaut someday, an American hero!"
Howard Jr. said dreamily.
"Hmph."
Sheldon Jr. immediately let out a disdainful laugh.
"What do you mean?"
Howard Jr. looked at him unhappily.
"If you actually succeed, it means that humanity will be delayed by at least several more decades before we can colonize Mars!"
Young Sheldon said disdainfully. "It's precisely because NASA only has you guys—well, to quote my dad, space monkeys, and future space monkeys—that America's space program has stagnated, or even regressed, since Armstrong's 'One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.' By the way, you and Dr. Hodges from NASA are both Jewish. That's strange. Einstein was also Jewish. It seems that the smartest people are just exceptions, not a matter of ethnicity!"
"Take back what you said!"
Young Howard glared at him angrily.
"Don't get agitated,"
Leonard quickly pulled back the furious Howard. "Sheldon, you've gone too far."
"Where?"
Sheldon retorted confidently. "Three years ago, I helped NASA complete the mathematical calculations for reusable rockets, but Dr. Hodges from NASA, who gave a lecture at our school, said they couldn't build them, that their abilities couldn't keep up with my brain. Three years have passed, and NASA still hasn't achieved anything noteworthy. Now even someone like you wants to design spacecraft, become an astronaut, and an American hero. In another three years—no, I'm sure in another thirty years—we won't be able to colonize Mars!"
"You!"
Howard was nearly driven mad with anger.
Luckily, Leonard was there to restrain him, otherwise, regardless of how much taller Sheldon was than him, he almost wanted to hit him.
The doorbell rang again.
Leonard went to open the door and called out, "Sheldon, your package!"
"Great!"
Sheldon quickly came over to sign for it.
Howard Jr. watched from the sidelines, and once he saw what the so-called armed robot looked like, his annoyance vanished instantly. He sneered. "This is your armed robot? No wonder you couldn't even keep your sister out. Looks like you're just all talk and no action!"
"Take that back!"
Sheldon Jr. shouted, his eyes wide.
"Am I wrong?"
Howard Jr. keenly sensed something and immediately seized on this point. "What hands-on projects do you have that you can be proud of? I bet you can't even change a lightbulb at home!"
Sheldon Jr.'s lips twitched, his eyes twitched, and he glared fiercely at Howard Jr.
This reminded him of a time when the refrigerator at home made a slight noise, which his keen hearing picked up. He told his parents, but they didn't notice or care. Unable to stand it, he disassembled and cleaned the refrigerator according to the manual, only to find he couldn't put it back together. His father, George, yelled at him because hiring someone to fix it would cost a lot of money, and his family wasn't well-off.
So, Howard calling him a "theoretical genius but useless in practice" was something Howard found utterly unacceptable!
"That's great,"
Monica and Chuck had already left to tour the Hofstadter's house. Returning, they saw the three kids chatting animatedly and couldn't help but sigh.
"Yeah, it's good."
Chuck, with his excellent hearing, had already heard most of it. Seeing the system notification of double increases in points, he agreed with Monica's assessment.
Howard hadn't disappointed him.
(End of Chapter)
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