Chapter 185: Tyson's Golden Tiger
"Ron, do you think it's a little scared of you?" Leonard cautiously peeked from behind.
"I noticed. I even thought I heard it purr. There must be something wrong with my ears." Ron scratched his head.
Leonard: "I heard it too. It's probably not your ears. To be precise, tigers are big cats, so purring is normal. Hey, Ron, look at his collar! There's something on it! It's a domesticated tiger!"
"Let's find his owner and return him. Maybe we can get some information about what happened last night? Maybe the other guys are with him?"
Ron approached the tiger. The tiger initially gave a few warning growls, but once Ron reached it, it immediately became as docile as a house cat, even rolling over for Ron to pet its belly.
But Ron didn't have time for pet tricks right now. On the tiger's collar was a name: Mike Tyson.
Was this Tyson's tiger? Ron vaguely remembered that Tyson did have a mansion near Vegas. Just then, he caught a whiff of something foul. He looked down and saw it was coming from the tiger's stockings. The crotch area had been torn, and it was stained with some crusty, unidentified substance.
Damn it! Who could be so messed up?
He used to think calling people "messed up" was strong language, but now someone was actually crazy enough to mess around with a tiger? Honestly, Ron wanted to see what this lunatic looked like.
Ring, ring, ring!
Ron's phone rang. It was Tyson. They had met once before at a charity boxing event in Atlantic City, and while their relationship wasn't particularly close, they had exchanged numbers.
"Uh, Ron," Tyson said, his tone unusually subdued. "Can you bring back my tiger? Your buddies are here..."
"Are you trying to blackmail me?" Ron's voice hardened.
"No, no!" Tyson quickly denied. "You left them with me yesterday. Did you forget? I swear, I took good care of your friends. They're just exhausted from yesterday and haven't woken up yet."
"Alright, I'll be there now," Ron paused. "By the way, I'll bring your big cat back too. What were the names of the friends I left with you?"
"Uh? I don't know their names, but one of them looks Indian, and yesterday he was..."
"Okay, I'll be right there." Unable to get any useful information, Ron cut off his rambling and hung up.
"Ron, how did it go?" Leonard asked with concern.
"There are two people over there. One of them is Raj, but I don't know who the other one is." Ron looked at Phil. "Want to take a road trip?"
They had all gone to Tyson's house together yesterday. Even if the other person wasn't the groom they were looking for, there should at least be some other clues.
"Absolutely," the three of them quickly agreed.
...
An hour later, at Tyson's sprawling suburban mansion in Henderson, Nevada, Tyson greeted them at the front door: "Ron, you're finally here."
As he spoke to Ron, his eyes kept glancing at the back seat of the car, where his tiger sat. It was funny – Ron had expected returning the tiger would be a hassle.
Unexpectedly, when Ron tried to secure it for transport, it was incredibly well-behaved and cooperative. It looked so well-trained that Ron couldn't help but feel a little sorry for it.
Who knows what this tiger has been through?
"Where are my friends?" Ron asked bluntly.
"This way, this way." Tyson hurriedly led them to a guest bedroom where Raj and Howard lay sound asleep on the bed.
"That's not Doug," Alan called out disappointedly. "Where's our Doug?"
"You mean that skinny guy?" Tyson suddenly realized. "He left with you yesterday. Didn't you know? Or maybe I can pull up the security footage and show you, Ron..."
"Let's take a look." Seeing Tyson's questioning expression, Ron agreed without hesitation.
They all went to the mansion's home theater, and Tyson played the footage from yesterday. Ron immediately understood why Tyson had looked so uncomfortable.
On the screen, Howard and Raj were each positioned behind a tiger, making rhythmic thrusting motions with their hips. They looked absolutely ridiculous, like some kind of twisted competition.
Ron stood to the side, actually applauding. During a break, he even pulled out two pairs of stockings and put them on the two tigers: one in black, the other in white.
Then Howard and Raj immediately went at it even more frantically. The surveillance footage clearly showed everyone present except Doug.
As for why the two tigers were so obedient? It was obviously because of Ron's personal tiger-intimidation show. Earlier in the video, he had gone into the tiger enclosure alone, armed with a Louisville Slugger baseball bat.
When one tiger lunged, he slid underneath it and struck it hard in the ribs with the bat. Then, when the other tiger attacked, he repeated the same move. He had beaten both tigers into submission, leaving them trembling in fear and allowing him to do whatever he wanted.
He now understood why the tigers were so terrified of him.
What the hell had he been thinking? If this video were uploaded to YouTube, regardless of whether it would go viral, it would definitely attract PETA and other animal rights groups. Though it wouldn't have much real impact on him.
Those bleeding hearts can only talk big, but what they're best at is being annoying as hell.
"Tyson, this video..."
Ron started, and Tyson immediately responded tactfully, "I understand, I understand, I'll delete it right away."
He completely lacked his former boxing champion swagger, and the other three guys were stunned.
What could Ron say? He couldn't exactly explain that the same intimidation tactics he used on the drug dealer this morning were also used when he went to collect "taxes" from the boxing champion, could he? And he had used German Shepherds for that, too.
God knows how much effort it took him to round up so many German Shepherds and get enough veterinary tranquilizers. It was all in a day's work for a dedicated tax collector!
"Also, send me this video of them 'playing games' with the tiger," Ron said with malicious glee. It looked like he had material for this year's office Christmas party.
"Ron." "Ron."
Raj and Howard finally woke up and stumbled out. Ron turned around and said, "So, how did tiger taste, warriors? Want to try something different next time? Maybe a lion?"
(End of chapter)
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