Chapter 276: Return to Daily Life
A week after the Chicago Avengers incident, the political firestorm that had rocked the nation was finally cooling down.
Some conspiracy theorists even claimed Robert was Stalin reincarnated, plotting to overthrow American democracy and establish a communist dictatorship.
What amazed Ron most was how many people actually believed this nonsense, which made him once again question the American education system's emphasis on self-esteem over actual learning.
Don't be fooled—although the United States leads the world in technology, the level of scientific illiteracy among ordinary citizens is staggering. Even today, millions still believe in flat Earth theory and constantly try to "prove" it through increasingly bizarre methods.
In Sheldon's words, it was intellectually insulting.
"Howard, can you double-check the equatorial mount on the laser? We need to lock onto the Sea of Tranquility."
"Sure thing."
"Sea of Tranquility? There's actually a place called that?" Ron mumbled through his Cheetos. Tonight, these four nerds planned to bounce a laser off the moon, and Ron, having nothing better to do, had tagged along to watch the spectacle.
"It's a region on the lunar surface. That's where Apollo 11 landed," astrophysicist Raj explained.
But he wasn't looking at Ron. Instead, he was peering intently through his telescope at the apartment building across the street.
"Hey, Raj, I've told you before—if you want female companionship, just mention you're from a wealthy Mumbai family. You'd have women lined up around the block instead of resorting to this creepy voyeurism."
"I'm not being a voyeur!" Raj protested, blushing. "I was just watching their TV through the window. 'The Good Wife' is on—I'm totally addicted to that show."
Ron rolled his eyes. "Fine, maybe you don't need dating advice. I've got a cousin named Michelle who throws great parties."
"Party? I love parties!" Raj agreed excitedly, then caught himself. "Wait, what did you just say?"
Raj shrugged, deciding not to pursue Ron's confusing statement.
"Hey, guess who else wanted to see this experiment?" Leonard announced without waiting for an answer: "Penny."
"How did you know she's interested in lunar exploration? Though I'm sure the retroreflector that Armstrong left up there meets Penny's aesthetic requirements for sparkly objects."
"Sheldon, it's not just Penny. Most women have an instinctive attraction to shiny things," Ron corrected. "There was actually a viral Reddit post about this phenomenon called 'The 16 Ways Women and Ravens Are Identical.' If you're interested, it might help your dating prospects."
"Really?" Raj's eyes lit up. If you didn't count one-night stands, he was the only one of the four who'd never experienced a meaningful relationship.
Even Sheldon had been pursued by women attracted to his tall, lanky physicist aesthetic.
"Absolutely true. The guy who wrote it was some pickup artist named Tucker Max. Supposedly brings home a different woman every week. The original post got millions of upvotes before the mods deleted it for being too accurate."
"I need to find that thread immediately!" Raj exclaimed.
"Send me the link when you do," Leonard added. He didn't have the spare cash for premium Reddit access, so he'd gladly freeload off Raj's research.
Ron looked puzzled. "Why didn't you invite Penny up here?"
"I don't know. Things have been weird between us since last time."
"Did she break up with you?"
"She didn't break up with me!" Leonard jumped up like someone had electrocuted him. "We're just exploring different relationship paradigms."
"Dude, you got dumped."
Three days after Ron left for Chicago, Leonard and Penny had ended things. Leonard still couldn't pinpoint exactly why, but Ron knew the truth: no matter what happened, these two were destined to end up together.
Ron suggested, "You should invite Penny up. This could be the perfect opportunity to patch things up."
"Great idea, I'm on it!" Leonard didn't wait for Ron to finish before bolting downstairs.
But Ron hadn't anticipated that moments later, Leonard would return with not just Penny, but also—as a bonus feature—some guy about Ron's height.
Ron facepalmed in embarrassment. He'd forgotten about that subplot: Penny's new boyfriend, Zack.
Though calling him a "rebound hookup" would be more accurate.
Ron tried to ignore Zack, but Zack, like he'd discovered a fascinating new toy, immediately gravitated toward Sheldon with an endless stream of questions. To salvage the situation, Leonard awkwardly but politely began explaining their lunar laser ranging experiment.
The explanation was primarily for Zack's benefit. Penny, after all, came over daily for free food, so her scientific knowledge actually exceeded that of most people.
But Leonard never expected that when he described how they'd send a laser pulse to the moon and measure the return signal, Zack would ask that classically moronic question:
"I have another question. How do you know it won't explode?"
"Explode? What explosion? The laser?" Leonard was baffled.
"No, the moon."
"Sheldon, take a deep breath," Ron quickly intervened, physically restraining Sheldon before he could unleash a devastating intellectual beatdown.
Fortunately, the awkwardness didn't last long. The laser experiment concluded successfully, and Penny quickly departed with Zack. His performance had left her feeling genuinely embarrassed, especially in front of Leonard.
(End of Chapter)
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