Marvel: Excuse Me for Being Blunt, But Everyone Here is a Noob
Pairing: Gwen, maybe Natasha
Novel Summary[Game + Marvel + Comedy + Invincible + Thrilling Read + Invincible + Anti-cliché + Not a Mary Sue]
In order to earn a base salary of 10,000, Lin Zhen is playing a large-scale virtual game called "American Comic World".
Little did he know that at the start of the game, he had already traveled into the real American comic book universe.
Nick Fury: Help! Every time I give Lin Zhen a mission, something goes missing: my cup, my new umbrella!
Black Widow: Lin Zhen said he had raised my favorability to 1000, and then dragged me to the room.
Homelander: Who is that kid in the building across the street? Why did he shoot a Crescent Slash at me?
Batman: Some jerk wearing a chicken-head mask with a middle parting pulled me out of the Batmobile and drove off without looking back, saying it was allowed by the planners...
Thor: Who is this kid? How come he just grabbed my Mjolnir and ran away?
Tony Stark: Don't even mention it. I just teamed up with Lin Zhen, and that kid sold my armor to the old man who collects scrap metal.
Lin Zhen: That's right, I did all of this. Forgive me for speaking frankly, but everyone here is a junior.
...
Note: [To avoid padding the word count and affecting the reading experience, completing tasks only grants experience points and does not update your level or attribute panel. That would be too superficial, so I won't do it that way. If you mind, please don't click. Thank you!]
Chapter 1: The Only Player in the Marvel world
[ Underwear Deposit. ]
[ Hater comments section, showing your chicken feet, aren't you? ]
[ Sugar daddies and sugar mommies, please go easy on me! ]
3:00 AM, the top floor of an office building in New York City.
The computer screen flashed red, and rows of "Password Incorrect" warnings covered almost the entire screen.
"Tsk, what a hassle."
In front of the desk, a man crouched like a chicken thief.
He wore overalls and flip-flops, with a chicken mask on his head. The chicken beak was upturned, and his eyes were so annoying that one look made people want to punch him twice.
Lin Zhen stared at the screen, silent for two seconds.
Then he pulled a silver USB drive from his pocket.
"High-end hackers often only need the simplest cheats."
Clack.
He plugged the USB drive into the computer.
The progress bar immediately began to climb forward.
Just then, the phone in his pocket vibrated.
Lin Zhen pressed answer.
"Yo?"
Fury's voice came from the other end of the line, suppressing his anger.
"Lin Zhen, where are you right now?"
"I'm already at the location. You can rest assured when I handle things."
As he spoke, he calculated whether the reward this time would be decent.
The last mission gave him a pair of stinky socks, and the description even noted them as "Throwable Weapon."
He still suspected the system was insulting him.
"Have you been exposed?"
Fury asked.
Just as Lin Zhen was about to say no, the office door suddenly opened.
A high-quality human male wearing a suit and a center-parted hairstyle walked in.
"Who are you?!"
The man shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Security! Help! Sec..."
Bang!
Lin Zhen stuffed his gun back into his pocket and calmly replied to the phone: "Not anymore."
The other end of the line was silent for two seconds.
"Return to headquarters immediately after the mission ends."
"Ok."
Lin Zhen hung up the phone just as the progress bar finished.
He pulled out the USB drive, and a mechanical prompt sounded in his mind.
[ Daily Mission: Steal Intelligence, Completed ]
[ Reward obtained: EXP + 100 ]
[ Mission Points + 3 ]
[ Time Bomb × 1 ]
Lin Zhen stared at the reward list, the corners of his mouth twitching under the chicken mask.
"That's it?"
This reward is too terrible!
He looked down at the corpse on the floor.
This NPC was made really meticulously—the blood spread rate, muscle spasms, and unfocused eyes were just like the real thing.
The game designer hasn't killed anyone, have they?
Lin Zhen clicked his tongue in wonder.
In fact, he was playing a virtual game called "Marvel world".
The recruitment ad was extremely tempting at the time.
[ Immersive Marvel world ]
[ Base salary of 10,000, performance bonuses extra ]
[ Equipment can be recycled, top-tier items all depend on drops ]
[ Start with one pair of underwear, all equipment depends on looting ]
Lin Zhen only saw the four words "Base salary 10,000" and signed on the spot. His posture as he lay into the game pod was more peaceful than being buried.
The money earned was faster than working in the adult industry.
However, after entering the game, he discovered a small problem.
This game has no exit button.
The system explained it very officially.
[ Game has encountered a BUG, currently fixing ]
[ The game pod will periodically replenish nutrient solution to maintain the player's physiological signs ]
[ Players can choose to exit; if the player actively exits, they will lose their job and base salary ]
[ Force exit? ]
Lin Zhen chose no on the spot.
Are you kidding me?
A mere BUG, and it dares to stop him from getting rich?
He was a man who swore to drink Black Widow's foot bathwater.
Before successfully conquering Black Widow, it was impossible for him to exit!
Just then, footsteps came from outside the door.
"There was a gunshot inside!"
"Hurry!"
"Seal the exits!"
Lin Zhen looked at the man on the floor, then at the time bomb the system had just given him.
Since he was already here.
Might as well use it.
He stuck the time bomb on the door, pulled out the map interface, and tapped his finger on the coordinates of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.
Teleport!
When the bodyguards rushed in, what they saw was a cold corpse and an activated time bomb.
"Mother f***er!!"
Boom!!!
...
S.H.I.E.L.D., Director's office.
Fury was bowing his head, reviewing documents, with a freshly brewed cup of coffee by his hand.
"Too bitter. Remember to add more milk next time."
A voice suddenly rang out.
The next second, a center-parted head was shoved into Fury's face.
The pen in Fury's hand snapped with a crack.
"Mother f***er!"
"This is the coffee I just brewed!"
He looked up abruptly, his single eye nearly widening into a double eyelid.
"It's not like it's a girl you just picked up. I'm not even grossed out by your saliva, and you're acting aggrieved?!"
"Lin Zhen!"
Fury stared at him, his face as black as if it had just been scraped from the bottom of a pot.
"How many times have I told you, don't steal my coffee, don't use my cup!"
"Okay, Director!"
Lin Zhen picked up the cup and took a sip.
Fury's mouth twitched.
"I said don't use my cup!"
"Director, you've already said that." Lin Zhen took another sip. "Director, brew me another cup."
Fury:...
Just as he was about to explode, Lin Zhen's gaze swept across the desk, and he suddenly saw the document title.
S.H.I.E.L.D. Funding Allocation Report.
He casually pointed to a few lines.
"Yo, Director, these few sums of money aren't right. And this—office chairs, down payment for a house in downtown New York City, and a purchase plan for a Rolls-Royce daily driver... Is this something our agency can use?"
Fury's hand slammed down on the document.
"What do you know? These are necessary expenses."
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
"Got it, someone is embezzling."
"Cough!"
Fury closed the document and stuffed it into the drawer, his movements too fast for a fifty-something-year-old Agent leader.
"This is a top-level matter I am personally in charge of, and every cent is compliant."
Lin Zhen nodded.
"Oh, you're embezzling."
Fury took a file from another drawer and pushed it in front of him.
"There is an important mission now."
"Director, don't change the subject. Are you embezzling?"
"Fine, I'll transfer you 10,000 dollars!"
"Oh my, Director, I didn't see anything just now!"
Lin Zhen happily stuffed the 10,000 dollars into his pocket, then asked.
"By the way, what's the mission?"
Fury took out a photo. The man in the photo was wearing a suit, had a mustache, and was smiling in a very punchable way. At first glance, he was either an Aquaman or a scumbag.
Lin Zhen's first reaction wasn't the mission difficulty.
It was that this NPC would definitely drop gold coins.
Fury tapped the photo.
"Tony Stark, Chairman of Stark Industries."
Lin Zhen tilted his head.
"A rich guy?"
"Very rich."
"Then you should have said so earlier!"
Lin Zhen sat up straight instantly.
Fury suppressed the urge to beat him up and continued.
"Three months ago, Tony Stark encountered an unidentified armed attack in the Middle East. The convoy was wiped out, and he went missing."
"I need you to go to Afghanistan immediately to confirm whether he is alive or dead."
"If he is still alive, bring him back."
Lin Zhen originally wanted to ask about reimbursement, but a system prompt suddenly sounded in his mind.
[ NPC Fury has issued a mission to you ]
[ Mission Name: Save Iron Man ]
[ Mission Goal: Rescue Tony Stark who is in Afghanistan]
[ Completing the mission will yield massive rewards ]
Looking at the four words "massive rewards," Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
This game claims to be able to recycle equipment.
If he could complete the mission and get a large sum of money, once he returned to the real world, he would definitely go on a high-end spending spree and thoroughly enjoy life.
If nothing else, a chicken leg rice from Sha County Delicacies must be arranged. If the reward is good, he might even be able to add a cup of Mixue Ice Cream & Tea!
"Iron Man?"
Lin Zhen touched his chin.
He couldn't quite remember what kind of superhero this was.
He had indeed watched a Marvel movie before, but most of his focus was on Black Widow, so he really couldn't remember many male superheroes.
"Lin Zhen."
Fury's voice turned cold.
"This mission is not child's play. Stark's identity involves the the military, industry, the weapons market, and many people you shouldn't know about."
"After you arrive, you cannot reveal your S.H.I.E.L.D.identity, you cannot act without authorization, you cannot trigger diplomatic disputes, and you absolutely cannot fire a Getsuga Tensho at Tony Stark..."
Lin Zhen felt terrible upon hearing this.
"Hey, make yourself clear. What do you mean by 'fire a Getsuga Tensho at Tony Stark'?"
"Am I that kind of person?!"
Fury replied: "Given your personality, it's possible."
Lin Zhen was speechless. Are NPCs this smart now?
He hadn't done it often in private, but he hadn't told anyone else about this!
"Ahem, don't worry. If I were to fire one, I'd fire it at Black Widow."
Fury: "o((⊙﹏⊙))o???"
"Alright, I'm off to work!"
The next moment, Lin Zhen's figure suddenly disappeared.
Fury: "Mother f***er, why are you leaving, my cup is still in your hand!"
"What the f***, why did my mouse disappear too!!!!"
Chapter 2: Listen up, you people down there, you have been surrounded by me alone!
Afghanistan, border desert.
The wind whipped up yellow sand, pelting the windshield of a beat-up pickup truck.
There were three people sitting in the car.
The driver had a cigarette in his mouth, the passenger in the front seat was holding an AK, and a man wearing a chicken mask sat in the backseat.
He looked down at the map interface, where a green dot was blinking.
[Mission Area: North of Gulmira, Ten Rings temporary stronghold]
[Target: Tony Stark]
[Current Distance: 7.8 km]
Lin Zhen was silent for two seconds, then patted the driver on the shoulder.
"Driver, can you drive a little faster? I'm in a rush to save someone, and I need to loot the corpses on the way."
Upon hearing this, the driver turned back, pressed his gun barrel against Lin Zhen's chest, and said in broken English, "Money."
Lin Zhen blinked.
"What do you mean?"
The burly man in the passenger seat shoved the gun forward.
"Toll fee, five thousand U.S. dollars."
Lin Zhen looked down at the gun barrel, then at the driver, and then at the passenger.
He understood.
This wasn't a taxi.
This was a robbery.
"Motherfucker, is this Grand Theft Auto? Do I have to pay protection money just to get in the car?"
The burly man frowned. "Money, or die."
Lin Zhen pulled Nick Fury's mouse out of his pocket and placed it in the burly man's hand.
"High-end stuff, same model as the S.H.I.E.L.D. Director's, smooth scroll wheel, first-class feel. It's not unreasonable to trade it for your five thousand."
The burly man stared at the mouse, stunned for a moment.
"Are you messing with me?"
Lin Zhen grabbed the barrel of the gun and wrenched it to the side.
Bang! The bullet pierced the roof of the car.
The next second, he lifted his foot and kicked the back of the passenger seat.
The seat, along with the man, flew out.
The car door was knocked open with a clang, and the burly man rolled into the sand, clutching his gun and spinning three times on the ground.
The cigarette in the driver's mouth fell out.
Lin Zhen sat in the passenger seat and picked up the gun.
"Now, am I the passenger, or the boss?"
The driver's throat bobbed. "You are the daddy!!!"
This time, it was Lin Zhen's turn to be stunned.
He laughed, "Motherfucker, you really are teachable."
The driver slammed on the gas.
The beat-up pickup truck sped off as if it were being chased by dogs.
Lin Zhen slung the AK over his shoulder and looked at the sand dunes in the distance.
This place looked a lot like an open world map he had played before.
Yellow sand, abandoned roads, black market arms, red-named monsters everywhere.
The only drawback was that there were no mini-map treasure chest hints.
But that wasn't a big problem.
The earliest way humans hunted for treasure was to beat up the people nearby and then rob them.
Ten minutes later, the pickup truck stopped behind a hillside.
In the valley in the distance, there was a temporary camp.
Tin houses, tents, oil drums, armed pickup trucks, and two heavy machine guns.
Beside the cave entrance in the very center, there hung a symbol of ten rings.
Lin Zhen squinted.
"Good grief, they even put a guild logo at the dungeon entrance. These guys are quite particular."
The driver whispered, "Ten Rings, very dangerous."
"How dangerous?"
The driver pointed at the camp. "They hijack arms, kidnap tycoons, and kill soldiers."
Lin Zhen nodded. "Then the drop rate should be pretty good."
The driver: "?"
Lin Zhen opened his inventory.
There wasn't much inside.
A pistol, a timed bomb, grenades, C4 explosives, Nick Fury's coffee cup, Nick Fury's mouse, and the stinky socks given from the last mission.
[Throwable Weapon: Stinky Socks]
[Effect: Small-scale biochemical interference, lasts 10 seconds]
Lin Zhen stared at the socks, lost in thought.
Although this system is shitty, it's consistently shitty.
At the camp entrance, two militants were smoking.
Lin Zhen poked his head out from behind the sand dune, raised the stinky socks, and aimed.
The driver's face turned green. "What are you doing?"
"Aggroing the mobs."
Whoosh! The stinky socks traced an arc and landed at the feet of the two men.
One of them looked down. "What is that?"
The next second, his eyes widened.
The other person clutched his throat and turned to vomit.
"Enemy attack!"
"Chemical weapon!"
"Put on gas masks, quick!"
The camp was instantly in chaos.
Lin Zhen rushed out from behind the sand dune, carrying the AK.
"For the bonus, for Black Widow, for chicken leg rice!"
Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat!
Bullets swept across the edge of an oil drum, sparks flying.
Several militants had just rushed out of the tents when they were pinned back down.
Lin Zhen changed positions while firing.
He didn't understand tactics.
But he understood games.
Movement, recoil control, flanking, looting ammo.
As long as the red-named monster wasn't dead, it meant the damage output wasn't enough.
"Left!"
On the hillside, a machine gunner turned his gun.
Bullets swept across the sandy ground, kicking up a row of dust pillars.
Lin Zhen rolled on the ground and hid behind the pickup truck.
He took out Nick Fury's coffee cup and took a look at it.
[Common Item: Director's Cup]
[Note: Has held a lot of milk, and also coffee]
"No stats?"
Lin Zhen cursed, "Useless!"
He threw the cup at the machine gunner's head.
Plop! The cup hit the machine gunner right in the forehead.
The machine gunner swayed, his finger stuck on the trigger, and the heavy machine gun swept across the camp, blowing up two pickup trucks in the camp on the spot.
Lin Zhen was stunned.
[Kill x3]
[Assist x5]
[Experience +80]
He looked at the shattered coffee cup in the distance and felt a sense of awe.
"Director, I'm sorry, I underestimated the gold content of your cup."
Flames shot up from the undercarriages of the two pickup trucks, tires popped with crackling sounds, and people in the tents ran out while cursing.
Lin Zhen crouched behind the sand dune, looking down at the prompts popping up from the system.
[Assist x5]
[Experience +160]
[Acquired Item: AK Magazine x4]
[Acquired Item: Ten Rings Radio x1]
[Acquired Item: Moldy Flatbread x2]
Lin Zhen stared at the moldy flatbread and was silent.
"Motherfucker, this drop rate, did the developer get choked to death by a flatbread?"
The driver beside him was lying in the sand, sprawled flat on the ground, nearly scared to death.
In the camp, a burly man wearing a black headscarf rushed onto a high platform, picked up a megaphone, and roared, "There is only one enemy! Surround him! Catch him alive!"
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
"Yo, an elite mob."
He raised his gun, just about to fire a shot, when he suddenly saw several wooden crates stacked beside the high platform.
There was English sprayed on the crates.
[Stark Industries]
Stark Industries.
Lin Zhen narrowed his eyes.
"Isn't this the stuff from the mission target's company?"
He stood up from behind the sand dune and shouted at the camp.
"Hey! Listen up, you people down there, you have been surrounded by me alone!"
Chapter 3: First Encounter with Tony Stark
"Hey! Listen up, people down there, you've been surrounded by me alone!"
After Lin Zhen shouted this, the thugs in the camp looked at him as if he were an idiot.
"Open fire!"
The Black-turbaned thug on the high platform waved his hand, and a dozen guns turned toward the hillside simultaneously.
Rat-tat-tat-tat!
Bullets swept across the sand, causing debris to fly everywhere.
The driver lay behind the slope, covering his head with both hands, cursing his mother countless times.
Lin Zhen pulled his head back and reached out to pat him.
"Don't be nervous, it's a small scene."
The driver looked up at him.
"What the f***, you call this a small scene?"
"Of course," Lin Zhen pulled out the Ten Rings radio and pressed the channel button. "Big scenes usually have BGM and built-in sound effects, like that guy, Qiao Feng from Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils. This one doesn't, which means the cutscene hasn't started yet."
The driver didn't understand, but he felt that this person was seriously ill.
A roar came from the radio.
"Third team, flank from the left, take him alive!"
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
"Voice command isn't even encrypted? Motherf****r, did these mobs graduate from the newbie village?"
He cleared his throat, lowered his voice, and said in a broken local accent: "Third team, listen up, the target has run to the warehouse. Everyone go to the warehouse immediately. Repeat, everyone go to the warehouse immediately."
There was a silence on the other end of the radio.
"Who are you?"
Lin Zhen didn't even think about it.
"I'm your daddy."
There was a silence on the radio.
"There's a mole!"
"The channel has been breached!"
"Kill him!"
Lin Zhen shook his head regretfully.
"This AI is no good; it doesn't even accept the family affection line."
He threw the radio on the ground, turned around, and grabbed a bundle of C4.
The driver's eyelid twitched.
"Where are you going to blow up?"
Lin Zhen looked at the pile of Stark Industries weapon crates in the center of the camp.
"Of course, I'm going to blow up the place they'd hate to lose the most."
"Those are full of missiles!"
The driver's face turned pale.
But Lin Zhen had already dashed out, hunched over.
He ran very fast, much like a good citizen in Grand Theft Auto who, despite having a five-star wanted level, insists on stealing a police car.
Two militants on the left had just rounded the tin shack when they saw a Chicken Brother center-part chicken mask right in their faces.
"Ma..."
Bang!
Lin Zhen used the butt of his gun to knock down the first one.
As the second one raised his gun, Lin Zhen smoothly pulled Nick Fury's mouse from his backpack and shoved it into his face.
"Here's a Director-style mouse for you!"
The man subconsciously reached out to grab the mouse.
Lin Zhen kicked him in the knee.
Crack.
The man knelt.
[Knockdown × 2]
[Experience + 30]
[Obtained Item: Ragged Turban × 1]
Lin Zhen glanced at the man and sighed.
"The Director's equipment is authoritative; it's much more awesome than what the system gives!"
He rushed to the weapon crates and quickly stuffed the C4 into the gaps between them.
The Stark Industries logo was printed on the crates.
He stuck it on and left.
A real man never looks back at explosions.
Just then, the Black-turbaned thug on the high platform spotted him.
"He's next to the weapon crates!"
"Don't shoot! Don't hit the crates!"
Lin Zhen heard this and was amused.
He poked his head out from behind the crates.
"If you aren't going to shoot, then should I?"
The Black-turbaned thug's eye twitched, and he gritted his teeth: "What do you want? Money? Weapons? Women?"
Lin Zhen stopped moving.
The driver saw this from afar, and his heart skipped a beat.
It's over.
This lunatic is tempted.
Damn, this lunatic is going to have a good time!
Lin Zhen rubbed his chin.
"What kind of configuration for the women?"
The Black-turbaned thug was stunned.
"What?"
"Are there any with red hair, wearing black bodysuits, long legs, who know how to use electric batons, and preferably can curse in Russian?"
"No!"
Lin Zhen's face darkened.
"Then what the hell are you talking to me for."
He pressed the remote.
Beep!
Everyone in the camp looked at the weapon crates.
The Black-turbaned thug roared until his voice cracked.
"Retreat! Retreat quickly!"
Boom!!!
Fire erupted from the bottom of the pile of crates, several missile components were thrown into the air by the Shockwave, and they exploded into a second round of fireballs in mid-air.
The shockwave swept through the camp, sending tents flying and overturning half of the tin shacks.
Lin Zhen lay in the sand, his head covered in a layer of dust.
He looked up and saw the system notifications refreshing frantically.
[Kill × 7]
[Assist Kill × 11]
[Destroyed Military Supplies]
[Experience + 420]
[Obtained Item: Stark Industries Identification Tag × 1]
[Obtained Item: Ten Rings Ledger Fragment × 1]
[Obtained Item: Half-cooked Camel Meat × 3]
Lin Zhen stared at the last line.
"Seriously, whose explosion can roast camel meat to medium-rare?"
Lin Zhen crawled out of the sand and patted the dust off the chicken mask.
The driver lay in the distance, not even daring to lift his head.
"You're crazy, you blew up missiles."
"I know."
Lin Zhen picked up the Stark Industries Identification Tag from the ground and looked at it.
[Mission Clue: Stark Industries Identification Tag]
[Description: From supplies seized by the Ten Rings, can be used to locate the target character's activity area]
[Track?]
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
"You should have said there was navigation earlier. I was just about to ask for directions, and if I couldn't get an answer, I was going to use physical transcendence."
He chose to track.
On the map, a red arrow immediately pointed to the cave.
Distance: 230 meters.
Lin Zhen looked toward the cave entrance.
There were two machine guns, four militants, and a Black-turbaned thug whose face was half-blackened by the explosion.
He squinted at the cave.
The mission target is likely inside.
What do you call this?
Mobs respawning at the boss room entrance, main quest NPC waiting for player rescue.
Reasonable.
Very reasonable.
Just as Lin Zhen was about to charge forward, the driver grabbed his leg.
"You can't go, there are traps in the cave, and heavy weapons, you'll die."
Lin Zhen looked down at him.
"Son, don't move from here, I'm going to buy some oranges... I'm going to save someone and come back."
The driver was stunned.
"What?"
He casually tossed him a piece of half-cooked camel meat.
"Take this, have a few bites, and wait for Daddy to come back."
The driver looked at the meat in his hand, and he was completely silenced.
Lin Zhen opened his backpack.
Pistol, AK, two grenades, two moldy flatbreads.
He stared at the moldy flatbreads.
[Moldy Flatbread]
[Effect: Consuming has a chance to cause weakness, diarrhea, hallucinations]
Lin Zhen was silent for two seconds.
"If I throw this into an enemy's mouth, does it count as a crowd control skill?"
In the distance, the Black-turbaned thug had already spotted him.
"He's still alive!"
A group of militants immediately turned their guns.
Lin Zhen turned and ran.
One militant gave chase the fastest, just rounding the front of the vehicle, when he saw Lin Zhen squatting on the ground.
The man was stunned.
Lin Zhen looked up, holding the moldy flatbread in his hand.
"Open up, Daddy is feeding you."
"Huh?"
Slap!
Flatbread to the face.
The militant's eyes rolled back, and he knelt on the ground, dry-heaving.
[Hit Weak Point]
[Trigger Effect: Hallucination]
The man suddenly raised his gun and swept it toward his own people.
Rat-tat-tat!
Two companions were forced to dive into a sand pit.
Lin Zhen watched with admiration.
"Game designer, I admit I was a bit loud when I cursed you earlier."
Just then, the dust at the cave entrance cleared.
An iron-gray figure walked out of the smoke.
"WTF, do mobs respawn this fast?"
Lin Zhen didn't even think; he threw a grenade over.
The smoke cleared, and an iron-clad man wearing heavy steel armor, with a white light shining on his chest and a crude flamethrower attached to his arm, walked out.
Tony Stark, Mark I!
He had just come out of the cave, and as he raised his head, he saw a grenade flying toward him.
"What the f***?!"
Tony was completely stunned.
Boom!
The smoke and dust cleared, Tony saw Lin Zhen in the distance, and a muffled voice came from inside the helmet.
"Was that grenade just now thrown by you?"
Lin Zhen thought for a second.
"You're Tony, right? If it hit you, then no."
Tony: "My name is Tony..."
Lin Zhen nodded.
"If it hit the enemy, then it was my precise prediction."
Tony was silent. He had seen many outrageous people in his life: arms dealers, politicians, scientists, madmen, reporters, playboys.
But he had never seen such a shameless person.
He immediately raised his hand, intending to fire at Lin Zhen.
Just then, the Black-turbaned thug reacted and shouted while raising his gun.
"Open fire!"
Bullets instantly hit the Mark I.
Clang, clang, sparks flew everywhere.
Tony raised his arm, and the flamethrower ignited with a roar.
The three militants in front screamed and retreated.
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up immediately.
"Damn, so cool!"
He climbed up from the ground and circled around Tony.
Tony was blocking bullets while feeling unnerved by his gaze.
"What are you doing?"
"Checking the gear stats."
"What stats?"
"High defense, high fire resistance, ugly design, but the strength is not bad."
Tony's helmet paused.
"You said it's ugly?"
"Not ugly, it has a very scrapyard aesthetic."
Tony: "..."
The Black-turbaned thug grabbed a rocket launcher and aimed it at Tony.
"Stark! You won't be able to walk out of here!"
Lin Zhen saw the rocket launcher and his eyes lit up.
"The elite mob pulled out a skill again!"
Tony saw it too.
He raised his hand to use the flamethrower, but it had just been used, and the pressure was insufficient.
The rocket had already been fired.
Whoosh!
Tony cursed in his helmet.
"Damn it."
Lin Zhen smoothly pulled the pin on his last grenade and threw it in the direction of the rocket.
Tony was stunned.
"You want to intercept a rocket with a grenade?"
"Just trying, it doesn't cost anything anyway."
The grenade flew crookedly in mid-air.
According to normal logic, it was impossible for it to hit the rocket.
But the scrap metal kicked up by the earlier explosion was still tumbling in the air.
The grenade hit a piece of scrap metal, changed direction, and landed right on the warhead of the rocket.
Boom!
A fireball exploded in mid-air.
The shockwave knocked the Black-turbaned thug over.
Tony stood where he was, his armor slowly turning toward Lin Zhen.
"Did you calculate this?"
Lin Zhen stood with his hands behind his back.
"Experts never explain."
Actually, he didn't expect it either.
Motherf****r, this game's physics engine is something else!
Chapter 4: Go, Iron Turtle!
Tony stared at the exploding fireball in mid-air.
In these few seconds, many things flashed through his mind.
Newton's laws, ballistics, probability theory.
He even suspected that pounding iron plates in the cave all this time had scrambled his brain.
Finally, he looked at Lin Zhen, his voice muffled from inside the Mark I.
"Who exactly are you?"
Lin Zhen brushed the sand off his body, hands behind his back, his chicken mask looking exceptionally punchable in the firelight.
"A passing helpful player."
Tony was silent for a moment.
"Player?"
"Yeah, the main quest took your order: rescue you, and while I'm at it, see if you drop any gold coins."
Tony: "..."
He felt like he had just escaped the terrorists' cave only to run into another Terrorist with an even more unstable mental state.
The Black-turbaned thug climbed up from the ground, half his face smoked like it had just been dragged out of an oven.
He looked at the destroyed munitions, the chaotic camp, and that lunatic wearing a chicken mask, his eyes turning red.
"Kill him! Kill the chicken first!"
Lin Zhen was instantly displeased.
"What do you mean 'the chicken'? Where are your manners?"
The next second, a dozen or so armed militants rushed out from behind the ruins, their gun barrels raised in unison.
Just as Tony was about to step forward to block, Lin Zhengrabbed his iron arm.
"Don't rush, let the mobs group up first; it's faster to clear them that way."
"What kind of nonsense are you spouting?"
"A rich NPC like you wouldn't understand; this is called efficiency."
After saying this, Lin Zhen pulled out a Ten Rings radio, pressed the talk button, and shouted in the broken accent he had just heard.
"Headquarters, headquarters, we found a large amount of gold bars here. Everyone, assemble at the cave entrance immediately. If you come late, there won't be any left."
The other end of the radio was silent for a second.
Immediately after, rapid footsteps came from the other side of the camp.
"Gold bars?!"
"Where?"
"Hurry, hurry, hurry!"
"Don't believe him, it's that chicken talking!"
...
Tony watched as a group of terrorists actually ran toward the cave entrance, his expression cracking inside the helmet.
"Why would they believe that?"
Lin Zhen said righteously.
"Because humans have three underlying logics: fear of death, greed for money, and wanting to watch the show."
Tony: "..."
For the first time, he felt that his own understanding of human nature as a billionaire might not be as profound as a lunatic wearing a chicken mask.
In front of the cave entrance.
That group of Ten Rings members charged over quickly.
Some raised their guns, others carried rocket launchers. Even though some warned it was a trap, they still came, and a large crowd was running while shouting, "Where are the gold bars?"
Tony stood inside the Mark I, watching this group of people actually get lured out by one sentence, and was silent for three seconds.
He suddenly felt that his previous business of selling weapons was too civilized.
Lin Zhen crouched behind an overturned pickup truck, holding the radio in his hand, the chicken beak on his chicken mask slightly upturned.
"See that? This is called the monster aggro mechanic."
Tony turned his head, "Are you sure it's not because they have brain problems?"
Lin Zhen nodded, "And there are a lot of them, so their problems are quite significant."
Tony: "..."
The Black-turbaned thug cursed them as trash under his breath.
He had already made it very clear that there were no gold bars, and that the chicken was just deceiving people.
"Kill him!" He raised his gun, pointing it at Lin Zhen, "Whoever kills that chicken-head, I'll give him one hundred thousand dollars!"
The crowd that had just been rushing toward the cave entrance stopped in unison.
The next second, all gun barrels turned toward Lin Zhen.
Lin Zhen was stunned for a moment.
"Motherf*cker."
He turned to look at Tony, "See? The aggro has shifted."
A cold laugh came from inside Tony's helmet, "Congratulations, you're now worth one hundred thousand."
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
"I'm worth that much?"
Tony was taken aback.
Lin Zhen immediately looked up and shouted at the Black-turbaned thug, "Hey, I surrender! Transfer the money to me first, and I'll tie myself up!"
A vein popped on the Black-turbaned thug's forehead.
"Fire!"
Da da da da!
Bullets rained down.
The pickup truck body shook violently, and shards of sheet metal flew everywhere.
Tony stepped forward, his heavy steel armor blocking in front of Lin Zhen, sparks exploding on his chest.
"You'd better have a plan."
"Of course I do."
Tony looked down at Lin Zhen.
"What is your plan?"
Lin Zhen poked half of his chicken head out from behind the pickup, looking at the dense gun barrels opposite, then looked at the Mark I suit on Tony's body.
"It's simple: you charge up and take the hits, I'll flank and sneak attack."
Tony: "..."
Bullets were still clanging against the Mark I, sparks splashing out like they were free.
Tony gritted his teeth and said, "You call this a plan?"
"Otherwise what? You're already wearing an iron bucket, if you don't act as a tank, are you going to be a vase?"
Just as Tony wanted to curse, Lin Zhen kicked the armor on his rear.
"Go, Iron Turtle!"
The Mark I stumbled two steps and charged straight out against the hail of bullets.
Tony was completely stunned.
For the first time in his thirty-plus years of life, he was being used as a shield to initiate a team fight.
What he didn't expect was that he actually held his ground.
The Ten Rings members saw the tin man charging over and immediately focused their fire.
Lin Zhen took the opportunity to sprint along the ruins to the side, flanking toward the rear.
The Black-turbaned thug immediately spotted him.
"He's flanking! Stop that chicken!"
Two militants had just turned around when Lin Zhen had already rushed to their front.
One of them just raised his gun, and Lin Zhen grabbed the barrel and lifted it up.
Bang bang bang!
The bullets all hit the sky.
Lin Zhen followed up with a knee strike that almost made the guy's eyeballs pop out, then snatched the AK and sprayed a burst at the base of the oil drum next to them.
The oil drum didn't explode.
Lin Zhen was stunned for a moment.
"Motherf*cker, not all red barrels explode?"
The militant next to him was also stunned.
The next second, Lin Zhen smashed the AK butt into his face.
Bang!
[Kill × 1]
[Obtained Item: Ten Rings Headscarf × 1]
[Obtained Item: Cash × $37]
Lin Zhen looked at the prompt and broke down on the spot.
"Thirty-seven? Do you terrorists live paycheck to paycheck too?"
On the other side, Tony withstood the hail of bullets, and the flamethrower on his arm finally regained pressure.
Boom!
Flames swept across, and several militants screamed and rolled around.
Every step the Mark I took, the ground shook. Its shell of scrap metal was battered and dented, but the sense of oppression was maxed out.
While fighting, Tony looked toward Lin Zhen through the gap in his helmet.
He had thought that the chicken-headed lunatic would take advantage of the chaos to escape.
As it turned out, Lin Zhen was rummaging through boxes in the camp.
Tony almost laughed in anger.
"What are you doing?"
Lin Zhen didn't even look up.
"Looting, of course. What's the difference between not checking boxes in a dungeon run and not taking your pants off when you go to the bathroom?"
Tony: "Can you take care of the enemies first?"
"What's the rush? You're holding them off, and besides, the mobs won't respawn."
Just as he finished speaking, the roar of engines suddenly sounded from behind the distant hillside.
Three armed pickup trucks rushed out, with heavy machine guns mounted on their roofs.
Lin Zhen looked up, silent for two seconds.
"Alright, they do respawn."
Chapter 5: Motherf*cker! (Modified)
In the distance, the heavy machine guns on top of the pickup trucks simultaneously turned toward the cave entrance, their dark muzzles forming a row.
Tony stood inside the Mark I, the iron hunk on his body ringing with the sound of Shockwaves.
"Is this what you meant when you said the mobs wouldn't respawn?"
Lin Zhen crouched behind a crate, stuffing a pistol he had just snatched into his pocket.
"I admit, I lacked reverence for the shamelessness of the developers just now."
The machine gunner on the first pickup truck pulled the trigger.
Rat-tat-tat-tat!
Bullets struck the ruins, sending shards of scrap metal flying.
Lin Zhen pulled his head back and glanced at the Stark Industries weapons crate beside him.
The lid was half-open, and a row of brand-new miniature missiles lay inside. His eyes lit up.
"Tony, your company's goods?"
Tony followed his gaze, and his expression darkened instantly.
On the warheads of that row of missiles, the Stark Industries logo glared in the firelight like a slap in the face.
"Those are Jericho missile warheads, don't touch them."
Lin Zhen had already reached out to touch them.
[Item: Stark Industries Miniature Missile Warhead]
[Quality: Blue]
[Note: Fireworks from a billionaire's house, please stand back once lit.]
Lin Zhen felt a surge of respect.
"It's even blue-tier gear!"
Tony immediately roared, "Put it down!"
"Relax, I've been gaming for so many years, I'm an expert at handling explosives."
"You've handled them?"
"Handled plenty."
"In real life?"
"In games."
Tony was silent for a second.
"You'd better get away from it now."
Lin Zhen nodded, picked up the warhead, and ran.
Tony: "..."
The second pickup truck had already closed in. The militants on the vehicle were stunned to see Lin Zhen rush out holding the warhead.
Lin Zhen shouted as he ran.
"Don't shoot, it's fragile! Even SF Express wouldn't dare deliver it like this!"
The militants didn't understand, but they saw the warhead in Lin Zhen's hands. Someone shouted.
"Scatter!"
It was too late.
Lin Zhen rushed halfway, slammed on the brakes, spun around on the spot, and rolled the warhead under the pickup truck.
The warhead rolled under the vehicle. The pickup truck was still charging forward.
Lin Zhen raised his hand and gave Tony a thumbs up.
"Ignite."
Tony cursed, and the flamethrower on his arm spewed a line of fire.
Boom!
The first pickup truck was flipped over.
The vehicle spun in mid-air and smashed in front of the second truck. The second truck braked hard, and the third truck crashed straight into it. The three vehicles were piled up in a mess.
Lin Zhen watched the explosion notification pop up and couldn't help but hum a tune.
[Kills × 7]
[Assists × 4]
[EXP + 360]
[Obtained Item: Cash × 412 USD]
[Obtained Item: Damaged Heavy Machine Gun × 1]
Lin Zhen stared at the 412 dollars and couldn't help but curse.
"Motherf*cker, it's still a poor man's dungeon."
Tony walked forward, carrying the gunfire.
The hull of the Mark I was smoking from being hit. His voice was cold.
"Stop picking up trash, the exit is over there."
Just as Tony finished speaking, a roar came from deep within the cave.
A Black-turbaned thug rushed out, dragging a rocketlauncher.
Half his face was covered in dust, and his eyes were fixed on Lin Zhen.
"Chicken-head! I'm going to hang you at the camp entrance!"
Lin Zhen looked down at his mask.
"I'll emphasize this one last time: this is fashion, not a chicken-head."
The Black-turbaned thug hoisted the rocket launcher onto his shoulder. Tony immediately raised his arm. The Mark I's flamethrower fired, but only a puff of black smoke came out.
Tony's expression changed.
"Out of pressure."
Lin Zhen looked at the rocket launcher, then at Tony.
"Aren't you Iron Man? Why do you always conk out halfway?"
"This is a prototype built from scrap in a cave."
"Meaning you're out of mana?"
"You could put it that way."
Lin Zhen was silent for two seconds. He rummaged through his backpack.
No C4. No timed bombs. The smelly socks were used up too. Nick Fury's coffee mug was also broken.
Lin Zhen's heart skipped a beat.
It's over.
The Black-turbaned thug grinned and aimed.
"Die!"
Lin Zhen looked at the rocket launcher and suddenly grinned.
Just as the Black-turbaned thug was about to pull the trigger, Lin Zhen dashed forward and casually shoved the last grenade into the mouth of the rocket launcher.
"Since you like firing cannons so much, I'll help you load something louder."
The Black-turbaned thug's eyes widened, and just as he was about to curse, Lin Zhen kicked the rocket launcher, using the force to dive backward.
Boom!!! The fire exploded directly from the rocket launcher. Half of the Black-turbaned thug's body was blown away by the Shockwave on the spot, and the pile of Stark Industries ammunition crates nearby also exploded, turning the cave entrance into a rolling sea of fire instantly.
"What the f*ck?" Tony was stunned from behind.
Lin Zhen climbed up from the sand and brushed the dust off his body.
"Don't worship me, I'm just a legend."
The remaining Ten Rings small fries completely panicked. Just as they wanted to run back, Tony raised his arm, and the last bit of energy blasted out from his palm.
Bang! With a muffled thud, the pickup truck at the entrance that hadn't had time to turn around was flipped over. The flames spread along the fuel line, and the entire camp exploded in a chain reaction.
[Mission Objective Completed]
[Save Iron Man: Completed]
[Rewards Calculating...]
[EXP + 3000]
[Mission Points + 10]
[Obtained Item: frying pan (Indestructible, can block all firearm attacks, and can also protect your butt)]
[Kaito Kid Mask (Can disguise as anyone, including women)]
[Obtained Item: Cash × 10000 USD]
"Motherf*cker?"
"Is this for real?!"
It was his first time seeing such a generous mission reward. The missions he had been taking from Nick Fury lately were either smelly socks or expired flatbread, which paled in comparison to this reward.
Especially that Kaito Kid mask, which could disguise him as anyone. When there were no missions, he could hide away and DIY... *cough cough*... Lin Zhen didn't continue thinking about it; after all, there were outsiders around, and he had to maintain his persona.
"Hey." Tony caught his breath and stared at him. "Who the hell are you? Are you from the the military, or an undercover agent for the terrorists?"
Lin Zhen snapped back to reality, shouldered his AK, and said.
"Motherf*cker, I'm not an undercover agent, and I definitely wouldn't tell you that I'm from S.H.I.E.L.D.!"
Tony:...
"Didn't you just tell me? By the way, what should I call you?" Tony asked.
Lin Zhen pondered for a long while, then said seriously: "You can call me Handsome, or you can call me Daddy. By the way, since you're called Iron Man, how about I become some kind of 'Man' too?"
Tony:???
"Let me think... Motherf*cker, this is too hard to think of."
Hearing this, Tony's face darkened, and he casually said: "You might as well just call yourself Motherf*cker Man."
Lin Zhen:???
Chapter 6: The Condoms Are Gone
S.H.I.E.L.D., Director's Office.
Nick Fury had just picked up his new coffee. This coffee mug was something he had just bought, and the desk had also been newly replaced.
He had even stuck a piece of paper on the corner of the desk.
[ Lin Zhen and dogs are prohibited from approaching ]
The next second, the air twisted.
Boom!
A battered, ragged iron shell slammed onto the desk, sending files flying all over the room, and the coffee splattered directly onto Nick Fury's face.
Lin Zhen rolled down from beside the iron shell, his chicken mask askew.
"Motherf***er, the teleportation landing point is off again."
Nick Fury froze in place, coffee dripping down his eyepatch.
He looked down at the desk that had shattered into two halves, then glanced at the Mark I, and finally looked at Lin Zhen.
"You had better give me a reason not to throw you out the window."
Lin Zhen pointed to the iron shell beside him.
"The reason is here, alive, Tony Stark!"
Tony crawled out of the Mark I, his face covered in dust. He looked at the two of them, his expression extremely grim.
"Is the recruitment standard for S.H.I.E.L.D. based solely on the level of mental illness?"
Nick Fury took a deep breath.
"Mr. Stark, welcome back."
Tony brushed the sand off his body.
"I would have preferred you sent me back in a more normal way, like a helicopter, a medical team, a beautiful reporter, rather than a chicken and a plane crash."
Lin Zhen was unhappy.
"What do you mean 'a chicken'? This is a trendy item, do you understand its value?"
Tony looked at him.
"I only see the sand content, as in 'idiot' sand."
Lin Zhen couldn't be bothered to argue with him.
He pulled a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket and slapped it onto Nick Fury's broken desk.
"Director, mission accomplished, I'm applying for the settlement of an extra bonus."
Nick Fury's eyelid twitched.
"Didn't you tell me you have a system, and the system would give you rewards?"
"That's from the system, not from the agency."
Lin Zhen counted on his fingers.
"Rescue bonus, cross-border operation subsidy, compensation for mental distress, mask wear-and-tear fee, and my Chicken Brother reputation damage fee."
Nick Fury stared at him.
"Chicken Brother reputation damage fee?"
"Someone just called me a 'chicken-head,' my spirit has been severely polluted."
Tony added insult to injury from the side.
"I can testify that he is indeed mentally unstable."
Lin Zhen turned his head.
"Say that again, you iron tortoise."
Tony's face darkened.
Nick Fury raised his hand.
"Stop, there are no extra reimbursements. This mission ends here."
Lin Zhen nodded.
"Fine."
Nick Fury was stunned for a moment.
Why is this kid so easy to talk to today?
The next second, Lin Zhen pulled up a photo from his system interface.
On the photo was a S.H.I.E.L.D. funding allocation report.
Several lines were circled in red.
Office chair procurement.
Down payment for property in downtown New York City.
Luxury official vehicle preparation plan.
Nick Fury's face instantly became darker than the coffee.
"When did you take this?"
Lin Zhen looked innocent.
"The game took a screenshot automatically. If you want to scold someone, scold the damn developer!"
Nick Fury sighed.
Half a minute later.
Nick Fury signed a bonus approval slip with a dark face.
"Ten thousand U.S. dollars, take it and get out."
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up, and he quickly put it away.
Tony, standing to the side, suddenly spoke up.
"I'll pay ten times that."
Lin Zhen turned his head: "???"
Nick Fury: "???"
Tony pointed at Lin Zhen and said.
"From now on, you are not allowed to say the words 'iron tortoise' again."
Lin Zhen understood and immediately squeezed out a smile.
"The boss is generous."
Tony took out a check and scribbled on it.
Lin Zhen took it and looked, his mouth almost splitting beyond his mask.
"As expected of top tycoon Tony Stark!"
Lin Zhen felt a sense of reverence; this was definitely his sugar daddy!
"Add another hundred thousand, I don't want to hear the name 'Stark' either."
Lin Zhen quickly stuffed the check into his pocket, afraid that Tony would take it back.
"Okay, Tony Stark!"
"Don't worry, I, Lin Zhen, am a man of my word, unless someone else pays more ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)."
Tony was speechless. He warned: "If you say that name again, I'll lock you in an iron shell and make you a tortoise!"
"Okay, Tony Stark." Lin Zhen replied.
Tony: "???"
Nick Fury: 눈 灬 ●
Tony sighed; he didn't intend to deal with this chicken-headed lunatic in front of him anymore.
If he stayed any longer, he suspected he would go crazy.
He just wanted to go home now, take a shower, eat a cheeseburger, and then find a few models at his Villa for a massage.
After Tony left, Nick Fury sat back down, and the chair let out an unbearable creak.
It was obviously damaged from when they teleported in earlier.
"Lin Zhen, continue to keep an eye on Stark."
Lin Zhen immediately waved his hand.
"Not taking it."
Nick Fury looked up, his voice heavier.
"This is not a negotiation."
"I'm not negotiating either."
Lin Zhen put his legs up on the broken desk.
"The missions you post are too low-level. You always reward me with stinky socks and rotten biscuits. From now on, if there are no high-difficulty missions, no rewards above Blue-tier equipment, and no starting pay of ten thousand U.S. dollars, I won't take them even if you beat me to death and I jump off this building!"
He paused.
"Unless I can team up with Black Widow, then I might even pay for my own travel expenses."
Nick Fury's eye twitched.
"Don't you dare have designs on Natasha!"
Lin Zhen waved his hand.
"Then give me her number, and I'll ask her myself if she agrees."
"No."
Lin Zhen slammed the desk hard.
Boom!
Nick Fury's mouth twitched; his newly bought desk was ruined again.
If it weren't for Lin Zhen's high efficiency in executing missions and helping him with quite a few shady... quite a few jobs over the past few months, he would have kicked anyone else who was this arrogant in front of him out the door long ago.
Lin Zhen looked down at the desk and withdrew his hand nonchalantly.
"Director, I've done so many shady jobs for you—stealing intelligence, bombing bases, saving tycoons—and yet I haven't even seen Black Widow once. Does S.H.I.E.L.D.have any humanity left?"
Nick Fury said helplessly.
"Natasha has her own missions too; I can't interfere."
Lin Zhen sighed.
"You just don't know how to be flexible. You're the Director, can't you pull some strings... No, wait, help me pull some strings, let me use my influence on Black Widow."
Nick Fury couldn't take it anymore and roared: "You are on leave for three days! Now, immediately, get out of my office!"
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
"Is it paid leave?"
Nick Fury gritted his teeth.
"Yes."
Nick Fury pointed at the door.
"Get out now!"
After speaking, he seemed a bit worried and added another sentence.
"You are not allowed to take the mug, not allowed to take the mouse, not allowed to take any files, not allowed to take anything from my office."
Lin Zhen raised his hand.
"Understood."
After Lin Zhen walked out of the office, Nick Fury finally breathed a sigh of relief. This time he had been watching the whole time, so there was no way this kid could have stolen anything.
This was indeed the case; nothing in the office was missing, and even the files in the drawers showed no signs of being disturbed.
"Heh, let's see how you steal this time..."
Suddenly, he was stunned.
He felt something was off and checked the drawer again, only to discover that a box of condoms he had just bought was gone.
Nick Fury was silent for two seconds.
"Motherf***er!!!"
Chapter 7: Five-Star Good Citizen!
Walking out of the S.H.I.E.L.D. building, the sunlight was blinding.
Lin Zhen stood on the bustling streets of New York, taking a deep breath of air that smelled of car exhaust and hot dogs.
"Finally, a day off. This lousy job almost made me lose my passion for the Red-light district." Lin Zhen patted his pocket.
Inside lay a dollar check signed by Tony Stark, along with a box of condoms he had just swiped from Nick Fury's drawer.
Everything was ready; he was just waiting for the right moment.
His mind was now filled with KFC fried chicken legs, and those scantily clad NPCs in the Red-light district who would call him "brother."
Walking to the curb, a bright yellow New York taxi happened to pull up, and the driver waved enthusiastically.
Lin Zhen swept his gaze over the starting fare tag on the car window, and his half-extended hand instantly retracted into his pocket.
"Motherfucker, this starting fare is enough for me to add two hours. I absolutely cannot let capitalism fleece me." Lin Zhen muttered, his eyes scanning the street, trying to find a more cost-effective mode of transportation.
Just then, an extremely wild engine roar came from the street corner.
A matte black, heavily armored sports car with an exaggerated design and a huge spoiler parked arrogantly by the roadside.
The tires screeched against the ground, leaving two black skid marks, causing the surrounding passersby to gasp and take photos.
The car doors opened upwards, and a rich second-generation heir wearing a flashy pink suit and hugging two blonde models stepped out.
"See that, babies? This is a replica Batmobile that I spent a fortune to have modified. It's the only one in all of New York. I'll take you for a spin today." The rich heir bragged loudly, his voice loud enough to be heard from half a street away.
Lin Zhen looked at the car, and his eyes instantly lit up.
The "Grand Theft Auto" DNA in his body pulsed wildly, and the sound effect of pressing the F key to hijack a car automatically played in his mind.
"What's the difference between playing an open-worldgame without hijacking a car and a eunuch visiting a brothel?" Lin Zhen rubbed his hands and swaggered toward the Batmobile.
The rich heir was about to lower his head to kiss the model, but two bodyguards in black suits and sunglasses noticed first and immediately stepped forward, blocking Lin Zhen.
"Get lost, you pauper. Don't touch the young Master's car." The bodyguard on the left reached out to push Lin Zhen's shoulder.
Lin Zhen's movements were smooth and fluid as he reached back into the void.
A pitch-black frying pan appeared in his hand.
"Clang!" "Clang!" Two crisp, dull thuds. The two 200-pound brutes didn't even groan before they rolled their eyes back, collapsed to the ground, and started foaming at the mouth.
"This frying pan feels really good; one hit, one target. It's worthy of being a system product." Lin Zhen weighed the frying pan with satisfaction.
The rich heir was stunned, and the two models screamed and hid to the side.
"You... what are you doing? I warn you, my dad is..." The rich heir pointed at Lin Zhen, but before he could finish speaking...
Lin Zhen grabbed his tie with one hand, yanked him over, pulled him away from the car door, swung him around, and precisely stuffed him into the half-meter-high green trash can nearby.
"Nice car." Lin Zhen flipped the middle finger at the rich heir struggling in the trash can, sat in the driver's seat with extreme naturalness, and pulled the door shut.
The main theme is zero-dollar shopping, a U.S. specialty.
Lin Zhen sat in the leather seat and touched the steering wheel.
"This texture, this modeling... this game company really went all out. Even the texture of the leather is made so clearly."
Just as he was about to close the door, Lin Zhen suddenly remembered the mission reward he had just received. He pulled the white "Kaito Kid mask" out of his backpack and put it on his head.
The muscles on his face twitched eerily, and his bones made a faint clicking sound.
In just two seconds, Lin Zhen's face completely transformed into the appearance of the rich heir, right down to the hairstyle.
He rolled down the window, stuck his head out, and gave an extremely greasy wink to the real rich heir who had just poked half his head out of the trash can.
"Thanks, brother. I've requisitioned both your car and your face. I'll give you a five-star review."
The real rich heir looked at the face that was identical to his own, his brain crashed on the spot, and he rolled his eyes back and fainted.
The onlookers nearby held up their phones, recording this bizarre scene on their screens, and bursts of gasps erupted from the crowd.
Lin Zhen pulled his head back and slammed the accelerator to the floor.
Just as the car doors locked, the Batmobile's center console suddenly lit up with a blinding red light.
The AI issued a cold warning.
"Unauthorized driving detected. Biometric identification failed. The engine will be locked, and tear gas will be released inside the vehicle. Please exit the vehicle immediately."
Lin Zhen was not panicked in the slightest; he reached back and pulled out the frying pan again, delivering a heavy blow to the expensive center console screen.
"Clang!" The surface of the screen cracked with spiderweb-like fissures.
"One more word, and Daddy will dismantle you and sell you for scrap metal, got it?" Lin Zhen patted the edge of the console with the frying pan.
Seemingly having determined it was suffering from force majeure physical damage, the AI's red light flickered twice and instantly turned into a soft blue light.
A slightly stuttering electronic voice came from the speakers.
"Wel... welcome, noble Master."
"That's a good one. Play Daddy a kick-ass song." Lin Zhenthrew the frying pan onto the passenger seat.
"Master, now playing: 'Chicken, You Are Too Beautiful'!"
The engine roared deeply, and the Batmobile surged into the bustling New York traffic, changing lanes several times and leaving the cars behind far in the distance.
Lin Zhen gripped the steering wheel with one hand, and the deafening drumbeats echoed inside the car.
He performed a beautiful drift at the traffic light intersection, running the red light directly, and incidentally knocking over several fire hydrants and a hot dog stand by the roadside.
Columns of water shot into the sky, splashing onto the black car body, while hot dogs and mustard flew everywhere, splattering onto the windshields of passersby.
"Awesome! This physics engine, this destruction feedback—this is the real open world!" Lin Zhen shook his head wildly to the music.
Within three minutes, the sound of urgent police sirens came from behind.
Three New York police cars with flashing red and blue lights came speeding up from the street corner.
A shout from the police came through the loudspeaker.
"Black sports car ahead, pull over immediately, turn off the engine, and put your hands on your head. You are suspected of robbery and dangerous driving!"
Lin Zhen glanced at the rearview mirror; instead of slowing down, he pressed the accelerator even deeper, and the Batmobile's speedometer needle instantly soared.
He looked at the police cars in hot pursuit in the rearview mirror, his mouth stretching to his ears.
"Motherfucker, only a one-star wanted level? Who are you looking down on? If I don't grind up to a five-star helicopter level today, I've wasted my day off."
Lin Zhen jerked the steering wheel, and the Batmobilesurged onto the sidewalk, knocking over a row of newsstands and trash cans, triggering screams. Newspapers and coins scattered everywhere.
"Headquarters, Headquarters, the suspect is resisting arrest. Requesting backup, repeat, requesting backup!" The police officer behind shouted into the walkie-talkie.
"Come on, call more people! Let the storm rage even harder!" Lin Zhen shouted excitedly, turning the car stereo to maximum volume.
Heavy metal music and the sound of police sirens intertwined, resounding through the streets of New York.
At the intersection ahead, two police cars blocked the way laterally and deployed a spike strip.
Lin Zhen didn't even touch the brake; he directly pressed a red button on the center console.
A powerful blast of air erupted from the car's chassis, and the Batmobile leaped into the air, clearing the policeblockade and slamming heavily onto the ground, sending sparks flying everywhere.
"Woohoo! Takeoff!" Lin Zhen slapped the steering wheel excitedly.
The police cars were in hot pursuit behind, and the roar of helicopter rotors came from the sky.
Lin Zhen poked his head out and glanced at the policehelicopter circling overhead.
"Yo, three stars. Leveling up pretty fast."
He felt the grenade in his pocket.
"I wonder if shooting down the helicopter will get me straight to max stars." Lin Zhen muttered to himself, his eyes flashing with a crazed light.
Chapter 8: Am I Catching Myself?
"Vehicle below, stop immediately. You have been surrounded. Repeat, you have been surrounded!"
Lin Zhen held the steering wheel in one hand and touched a grenade with the other. He wore the face of a rich kid, his mouth grinning almost to his ears.
"Surrounded?"
He glanced at the rearview mirror.
Behind him were six police cars, a helicopter in the sky, and a roadblock at the intersection ahead.
Lin Zhen nodded.
"Now this has the flavor of an open world."
The frying pan on the passenger seat clattered loudly with the vibration of the car.
The Batmobile rushed through Fifth Avenue, its tires scraping against a bus, leaving a trail of Fire sparks along the side of the car.
The bus driver stuck his head out and cursed.
"Lunatic!"
Lin Zhen turned around and gave a thumbs up.
"Thanks for the compliment. Remember to leave a five-star review."
Ahead, a police car rushed out sideways, its front blocking the street entrance directly.
The police officer had just pushed the door open to get out, and before his hand could even touch his gun, he saw the black Batmobile not slowing down, but instead slamming on the accelerator.
"What the f*ck!"
Bang!
The police car was knocked sideways, crashing into a roadside flower shop. Roses, glass shards, and balloons flew into the air together.
A system prompt popped up.
[Reckless Driving + 1] [Public Property Damage + 1] [Current Wanted Level: Four Stars]
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
"Motherf*cker, finally four stars!"
He looked at the helicopter in the sky.
"Just one step away from being able to summon the army, right?"
The sniper on the helicopter had already set up his gun.
"Suspect is suspected of possessing explosives. Requesting authorization to fire!"
The voice of the New York Police Department Commandercame over the radio.
"Don't fire yet. The owner's identity has been confirmed. It's Justin Hammer II, son of a Hammer Industries board member. Take him alive."
Lin Zhen heard the police frequency cutting into the car radio and was stunned for a moment.
"Hammer?"
He touched his face.
"This face even has a plot identity?"
Good grief. Stealing a car and ending up with a side-quest NPC? The details in this game are truly absurd.
Just then, a red prompt suddenly popped up on the center console.
[Connect to Hammer Industries remote server?]
Lin Zhen glanced at it.
"Connect."
The center console's blue light flashed twice.
The next second, a man's voice sounded from the speakers.
"Young Master Justin, what are you doing? The board of Directors is looking for you. Also, the New York Police Department has blown up our company's phone lines. They say you stole your own car and grew a second face."
Lin Zhen was silent for two seconds. He cleared his throat, imitating that greasy rich kid vibe.
"I'm conducting a stress test."
The person on the other end was also silent.
"Young Master, you said the same thing last time when you drove an armored vehicle into the swimming pool."
This time it was Lin Zhen's turn to be stunned. Good grief, was this kid a repeat offender?
"This time is different. The car has been upgraded."
"Upgraded with what?"
Lin Zhen grabbed the frying pan and smashed it onto the button next to the center console.
Clang!
Two dark, hollow nozzles suddenly popped out of the rear of the car.
The next second, thick smoke sprayed out, and the road behind was instantly swallowed by black fog.
The two police cars chasing in the front immediately lost control and crashed into each other.
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
"Upgraded with smoke bombs."
A sharp intake of breath came from the other side.
"Those aren't smoke bombs. That's an industrial atomizing agent that hasn't passed safety tests. Excessive inhalation will cause temporary blindness and diarrhea."
Lin Zhen felt a surge of respect.
"You Hammer Industries folks are truly talented. Making weapons that also stimulate the toilet economy."
On the radio, the police were already cursing like crazy.
"The suspect has released an unknown chemical weapon!"
"Repeat, unknown chemical weapon!"
"Someone can't see!"
"Something is wrong with my pants!"
Lin Zhen listened, amused.
"Isn't this just the setup for the five-star plot?"
Just as he was about to keep charging forward, the phone in his pocket vibrated. The screen displayed: [Nick Fury].
Lin Zhen glanced at it, then looked at the rearview mirror.
"I'm busy grinding stars here. The Director really knows how to pick his timing."
He answered the phone and steered the car onto the elevated highway.
"Yo?"
On the other end of the line, Nick Fury's voice was darker than the bottom of a pot.
"Lin Zhen, where are you right now?"
Lin Zhen glanced outside. On the left was speeding traffic, on the right were the police cars he was about to shake off, and the helicopter was still chasing in the sky.
"On vacation, driving."
Nick Fury paused, then said: "Lin Zhen, although I'm sorry, your vacation might have to be canceled."
Lin Zhen raised an eyebrow.
"Director, what do you mean?"
Nick Fury sighed and said: "The New York Police Department just called S.H.I.E.L.D., saying a highly dangerous target has appeared in the city center—robbery, disguise, reckless driving, suspected of carrying high-tech equipment, and even releasing chemical weapons."
Lin Zhen nodded, agreeing: "They summarized it quite thoroughly. This guy sounds pretty impressive—not just badass, but also very handsome."
"It's not a question of being impressive; it's that the policeDepartment can't handle it." Nick Fury spoke slowly.
"They suspect this is a crime committed by a super-powered individual and are requesting S.H.I.E.L.D. to intervene."
Lin Zhen had a bad feeling. The sound of paper flipping came from the phone.
"The target is disguised as a Hammer Industries heir, driving an illegally modified armored vehicle, and is currently fleeing on the Manhattan elevated highway. Lin Zhen, I am now issuing you a mission: immediately control the target to prevent the situation from escalating."
Lin Zhen's hand gripping the steering wheel froze. In his mind, a system prompt popped up simultaneously.
[NPC Nick Fury has issued an emergency mission to you]
[Mission Name: The Out-of-Control Imposter]
[Mission Goal: Capture the imposter causing chaos in Manhattan]
[Mission Rewards: EXP +800, Mission Points +5, Random Reward +1]
Lin Zhen stared at the mission objective, then looked at the rich kid's face reflected in the windshield. Good grief, you want me to catch myself, right?
"Director."
"Speak."
Lin Zhen's tone was sincere.
"If I said this target is actually a good person, would you believe me?"
Nick Fury sneered.
"Would a good person turn three streets into a junkyard?"
Lin Zhen glanced at the smoking neighborhood behind him.
"It could also be urban renewal."
Nick Fury said word by word.
"Lin Zhen, don't tell me this has something to do with you."
Lin Zhen didn't speak, and Nick Fury was also silent. Then, he heard the sound of helicopter rotors, sirens, and the song "Chicken You Are Too Beautiful" playing on the car audio system from the other end of the line.
Nick Fury's breathing stopped for half a beat.
"Motherf*cker! Don't tell me that person is you!"
Ahead, the police cars had arrived and surrounded Lin Zhen.
"Person in the car, listen up! Get out of the vehicle immediately!"
Lin Zhen said: "Director, the situation is a bit complicated right now. Let's talk later."
"Motherf*cker, you dare!"
Click!
Lin Zhen hung up the phone directly and slammed on the accelerator. Bullets instantly started flying.
Lin Zhen ducked his head back. Several bullets hit the car door, clanging loudly. The Batmobile accelerated violently, and the windshield was hit by bullets, cracking into a spiderweb pattern.
Lin Zhen stepped on the accelerator with one foot and held the frying pan in front of his face with one hand.
Bang, bang, bang! The bullets hit the frying pan and all ricocheted off.
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up.
"Motherf*cker, this is so useful!"
The police saw this scene and were stunned.
"What kind of bulletproof shield is that?"
The Batmobile rushed to the roadblock. The thug was just about to order them to scatter when Lin Zhen suddenly jerked the steering wheel. The car slid sideways, scraping through the gap between the SUVs.
The black car body knocked two people flying, sparks trailing all the way. Lin Zhen casually threw the frying panout of the car window.
Clang!
The frying pan accurately smashed onto a police officer's head, then flew in a circle and bounced back into the car, landing on the passenger seat.
[Knockdown × 1]
[Obtained Item: Baton × 1]
[Current Wanted Level: Five Stars!]
Chapter 9: Inflatable Doll
"Motherf*cker, finally became a five-star good citizen!"
Lin Zhen glanced at the sea of red and blue police lights in the rearview mirror, and listened to the roar of the helicopter hovering almost right above the roof, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth beneath the mask.
This is the kind of romance a real man should have!
The searchlight on the helicopter locked onto the Batmobile, and the warning from the megaphone was deafening.
"Vehicle below, cut your engine immediately! Snipers, stand by, prioritize shooting the tires!"
"Shoot the tires? Not happening." Lin Zhen grinned, gripped the steering wheel with one hand, and pulled the last high-explosive grenade from his pocket with the other, flicking the safety pin off with his thumb in a suave motion.
He rolled down the window and tossed the grenade into the air.
The next second, Lin Zhen grabbed the frying pan from the passenger seat, calculated the angle, lunged out the window, and swung at the falling grenade like it was a home run.
Clang!
The grenade turned into a black blur, ricocheting upward at an incredible angle and striking the helicopter's propeller hub with precision.
Boom!!!
A massive fireball erupted in mid-air, and the out-of-control helicopter, trailing black smoke, spun and crashed into an abandoned building in the distance.
The shockwave overturned the roadblocks on the bridge, and all the pursuing police slammed on their brakes at that moment.
[Vehicle shot down ×1]
[Current Wanted Level: Six Stars (Area Lockdown)]
"Motherf*cker, there's a hidden level?"
Lin Zhen looked at the system prompt and was about to keep going, but the mission panel released by Nick Furykept flashing before his eyes.
Immediately after, the phone in his pocket began to vibrate like it was summoning his soul.
Even with his butt, he knew it was that Director Nick Fury.
"Damn, the Director is really anxious this time."
Lin Zhen hesitated for two seconds.
"Forget it, let's just take the Director's base salary and reward first, I'll grind the six-star level next time."
He muttered, jerked the steering wheel, and the Batmobiledrifted, ignoring the roar of the police behind him, and plunged into the dark underground tunnel ahead.
Inside the tunnel, the lights were dim.
Lin Zhen frantically pressed buttons on the Batmobile's center console with one hand until he found a red button with a skull on it and slammed it without hesitation.
"Self-destruct sequence initiated, locking in ten seconds."
Thick black smoke instantly spewed out inside the cabin.
Lin Zhen quickly took off the Kaito Kid mask from his face and put back on his signature chicken mask. His movements were fluid; he kicked the car door open and, taking advantage of the thick smoke, rolled out and disappeared into the shadows of the tunnel.
A few seconds later, over a dozen police cars roared into the tunnel, surrounding the smoking Batmobile.
"Don't move! Put your hands up!"
The SWAT team approached with guns drawn and cautiously pulled the car door open.
The car was empty.
Only the stereo on the center console was still playing.
"Chicken You Are Too Beautiful..."
Meanwhile, beside a trash can on First Avenue.
The real Justin Hammer II slowly regained consciousness. He shook his groggy head, covered in rotten vegetable leaves and banana peels, with the stench of swill hitting his nostrils.
As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw a patrolling officer writing a parking ticket.
"police! police!"
Hammer II scrambled over, grabbed the officer by the collar, and roared, spitting everywhere, "Quick! Go catch him! Someone disguised themselves as me and stole my car! I really didn't do those things just now!"
The officer recoiled three steps, overwhelmed by the stench, covered his nose, and looked at him like he was a lunatic.
"Sir, please calm down."
Just then, the officer's radio crackled.
"Headquarters, Headquarters, the suspect's vehicle has been found in the Queens tunnel, but the suspect... the suspect has mysteriously vanished."
Hearing this, Hammer II roared even more frantically, "Did you hear that? He got away! You guys need to go chase him!"
The officer frowned deeper, thinking the homeless man in front of him was hopelessly insane.
Just as he was about to cuff the "lunatic" for obstructing official business, a black shadow suddenly flashed from the street corner.
Lin Zhen, wearing the chicken mask and carrying the frying pan, slid stylishly to a stop in front of the two.
Hammer II was stunned, not yet recognizing who this strangely dressed guy was.
"Clang!"
A crisp, pleasant thud.
Lin Zhen swung the pan, striking Hammer II precisely on the back of the head.
The poor rich second-generation heir didn't even have time to say a word before his eyes rolled back, his body went limp, and he slumped down stiffly next to the trash can again.
The officer was shocked and immediately reached for his holster: "Who are you?!"
Lin Zhen, however, unhurriedly retracted the frying pan, raised his hands, and struck a righteous pose.
"Don't be nervous, brother, I'm on your side."
He flashed his badge and said in a deep voice, "S.H.I.E.L.D.special consultant. I'm under orders to pursue an escaped criminal, and this guy is the exact bastard you were looking for, the one who was causing trouble in that car!"
The officer looked at the unconscious rich heir on the ground, then at Lin Zhen's suspicious chicken mask, half-believing.
"S.H.I.E.L.D.? But... but didn't that guy just disappear in the Queens tunnel? How did he instantly appear here?"
Lin Zhen didn't change his expression. He used the frying pan to point at the rotten vegetable leaves and banana peels hanging off Hammer II, speaking with conviction.
"Superpowered criminals, it's reasonable for them to have some spatial teleportation abilities, right?" He paused, then added with a profound look, "Look, the trash on him is just spatial residue left over from a failed teleportation. We at S.H.I.E.L.D. call this the Trash Positioning Method—a very high-end technology, you wouldn't understand it even if I explained."
Officer: "..."
Just then, a large number of police cars approached from the distance, and the New York Police Department's tactical Captain arrived at the scene with a team.
The officer immediately stepped forward to report.
The Captain listened to the report, looked at the unconscious "culprit" on the ground, then at the inscrutable Lin Zhen, and finally his gaze landed on the dark, blackened frying pan.
This frying pan looked somewhat familiar...
After an internal struggle, he chose to trust the judgment of Lin Zhen, this "professional."
The Captain walked up to Lin Zhen, stood straight, and gave a solemn salute.
"Thank you for S.H.I.E.L.D.'s timely intervention. Otherwise, this guy would have caused even more casualties in New York. We will send someone to coordinate with your agency later."
"It's nothing, just serving the people."
Lin Zhen waved his hand righteously, and at the same time, a cold, mechanical notification sound rang in his mind.
[Emergency Mission: The Out-of-Control Impostor, Completed]
[Reward Obtained: EXP +800, Mission Points +5]
[Random Reward: Inflatable Doll (Male)]
Lin Zhen stared at the last line, his expression as miserable as if he'd eaten sh*t.
"System, get your ass out here!"
"I worked so hard on this mission, and you give me this thing?"
"That's fine and all, but at least give me a female one!"
He raised his hand and poked furiously at the air.
"You're insulting me, a serious player!"
The next second, the system added another line.
[Hidden Description: Can transform into a clone at critical moments, with 50% of the host's attributes, lasting for ten minutes.]
[Cooldown: 12 hours]
Lin Zhen's hand froze in mid-air.
He looked down at the inflatable, oh no, the rewarded artifact, and his expression changed instantly.
"Brother System, I admit, I spoke a bit too loudly."
Chapter 10: I'm Very Fired Up Right Now, Wait Three Minutes for Me
New York, Red-light district.
In a cramped rental apartment, the curtains were drawn tight, and the air was a mix of perfume, alcohol, and the smell of cheap pizza.
Lin Zhen sat up in bed.
With dark circles under his eyes and hair as messy as a bird's nest, he had two "Black and White Impermanence" lying beside him... oh no, to be precise, it should be two beauties, one black and one white.
Lin Zhen looked down at himself, then at the empty wine bottles on the floor, and was silent for two seconds.
"Motherf*cker, I feel a bit drained every time I wake up."
Just then, his phone rang.
The screen displayed an incoming call from Nick Fury.
Lin Zhen stared at the name and sighed.
"This Nick Fury is more dedicated than an alarm clock."
He answered the phone.
"Hey, Director, doing morning rounds so early?"
On the other end of the line, Nick Fury's voice was very low.
"Lin Zhen, you have a new mission."
Lin Zhen glanced at the two beauties who hadn't woken up yet and decisively pulled the quilt up.
"Director, I'm on vacation, and I'm currently in the post-war recovery period."
He wasn't lying; he had fought an all-night battle with the two beauties beside him, and it had nearly exhausted him.
"I am the Director, and I say what goes! Lin Zhen, your vacation is over!"
Nick Fury took a deep breath.
"Tony Stark has been acting very strangely lately. He shut down the weapons division and spends all day hiding in his Villa basement. I need someone to get close to him and keep an eye on all his movements."
Lin Zhen narrowed his eyes: "Tony Stark, that rich tycoon from last time?"
"Originally, this mission was assigned to Natasha; she is better suited to approach Stark, but she is on an urgent operation right now, so I have to switch to you."
A mental image of Black Widow wearing a black tight-fitting suit walking into Tony's mansion flashed through Lin Zhen's mind.
He sat up straight immediately.
"Wait a second, Director, you originally wanted Black Widow to approach Tony?"
"Yes."
"With Black Widow's conditions, sending her to find a scumbag like Tony Stark, isn't that like a lamb entering a tiger's den?"
Nick Fury was silent for a moment.
"Can you focus on something normal?"
The more Lin Zhen thought about it, the more wrong it felt.
Black Widow approaching Tony—a beautiful Agent and a billionaire, a man and a woman alone, and the location is a mansion.
You don't need a brain to know what would happen.
Now that Black Widow is busy, the mission falls on him.
Lin Zhen's expression changed.
"Director, I'm really not gay!"
Nick Fury: "???"
The other end of the line was silent for three seconds.
Then came a suppressed roar.
"Motherf*cker! I just told you to monitor him! Who told you to sell your body!"
"You should have said so earlier, you scared me."
"Lin Zhen, I'm warning you, don't mess around."
Just as Lin Zhen was about to refuse, a system prompt rang in his head.
[NPC Nick Fury has issued a mission to you]
[Mission Name: Monitor Tony Stark]
[Mission Objective: Go undercover beside Tony Stark, monitor his actions, and report to Nick Fury]
[Mission Reward: EXP +1000, Reputation +30, Random Item ×1, Random Equipment ×1, Funding Subsidy $10,000]
Lin Zhen's eyes lit up instantly.
"Director, I suddenly feel that there can be pure friendship between men."
Nick Fury sneered.
"You'd better hope so."
Lin Zhen rubbed his chin.
"Then how do I approach him?"
"Figure it out yourself, aren't you good at disguises?"
Lin Zhen looked at the Kaito Kid mask in his backpack.
As long as he put this thing on, he could completely transform into a fair-skinned, beautiful, long-legged female secretary, and then mix in beside Tony.
The problem is, that guy Tony is obviously not a decent person; everyone knows he changes girlfriends one after another, playing both sides.
What if he walks into the mansion and has to lean against the wall to get out?
Although this is a game.
But for some dungeons, no matter how high the reward is, you can't just farm them blindly.
Lin Zhen shuddered.
"Director, I don't think the honey trap is suitable for me."
"No one asked you to use a honey trap."
"Then should I use a hunk trap?"
"Just don't blow up the Stark Villa."
Lin Zhen was silent for two seconds.
"Director, your request is a bit disrespectful to my professional habits."
"If Tony plays wildly, and a White stick goes in and a yellow stick comes out, what if he pokes my anus?"
Nick Fury was silent: "The files show that Tony doesn't have that hobby."
"Then what if a White stick goes in, and it's still a White stick when it comes out?"
Nick Fury:...
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
"I'm afraid he'll make me kneel down and bite him," Lin Zhen analyzed seriously.
Nick Fury: "Don't think about this messy nonsense! I order you to act immediately!"
At this moment, the "Black and White Impermanence" beside him woke up with a groan.
"Baby, come!"
"Do it again"
Nick Fury: "Lin Zhen, why is there a woman's voice? Where the hell are you?!"
Lin Zhen glanced at the Black and White Impermanence already kneeling in front of him and replied: "Director, I'm very fired up right now, wait three minutes for me..."