Cherreads

Chapter 95 - [95] Makes Me Look Like a Fool

"Big dummy? Cheat?" A huge question mark popped up over Erina's head.

"Little fool, don't you remember that anime you watched? The one that made you laugh like a pig." Hayashi raised an eyebrow, trying to jog her memory. "Here's a hint—the protagonist's name starts with 'A' and she's not very bright, hence the 'big dummy' nickname!"

"Not very bright, starts with 'A,' really funny—" Erina pieced together the clues and suddenly had an epiphany. Hayashi quickly encouraged her, "Go on, say it with confidence!"

Erina declared firmly, "Anya from Spy x Family!"

"Answer... uh, uh?" Hayashi was about to confirm it as correct when he realized which anime she was referring to and immediately fell into deep thought.

A name starting with 'A,' a comedy, and not very bright...

"Hiss, well... that answer... isn't... entirely wrong?" Hayashi rubbed his nose with a pained expression, muttering to himself, "But why does it feel off somehow?"

Wasn't I talking about the blue-haired one? Why did it turn into Anya? Sure, Anya isn't very bright either... but... but...

Seeing Hayashi's expression as if he'd stubbed his toe on a cabinet, Erina puffed her cheeks and asked, "Did I get it wrong?"

"Unfortunately, wrong answer desu!" Hayashi shook his head helplessly. "Erina-chan, you have to consider the 'cheat' part! What cheat does Spy x Family even have?"

"Oh, right—"

Erina caught on and had another epiphany, saying, "Then it must be Konosuba!"

This time, her tone was full of conviction—after all, she couldn't think of a third option. A not-so-bright 'A'-named character couldn't possibly be Artoria, right?

Though the King of Knights isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed either, and with Erina's cooking skills, it'd probably turn into Nakiri Family's Meal—way more entertaining than Emiya's Meal! It'd practically become a light yuri fluff anime!

"Bingo, correct answer—" Hayashi leaned in and pecked Erina's lips, shamelessly adding, "Reward: one fragrant kiss from your boyfriend."

"Fragrant kiss? How shameless!" Erina's face flushed slightly as she lightly smacked Hayashi—though compared to her past self, who would've exploded with embarrassment, she'd improved a lot.

"Fine, a stinky kiss works too." Hayashi smacked his lips, then gazed at Erina's slightly flushed face under the light, his appetite thoroughly whetted. With a mischievous grin, he said, "Then let me savor the taste of the God's Tongue!"

"Mmm—"

Tonight's moon was especially beautiful.

The next morning, after breakfast at the Totsuki residence, Hayashi leaned against Arcanine with a dazed expression as he stared blankly at the ceiling. Hisako, standing nearby, curiously poked Erina's waist and whispered, "Erina, what's up with the young master again?"

Could it be that his ten-pull gacha failed again? That couldn't be, right? With his current wealth, he could easily empty the entire banner—how could he possibly fail? Or was it that his favorite VTuber turned out to be a man using a voice changer—some glasses-wearing otaku?

How strange—

"Maybe he's thinking about what ability he wants?" Erina explained.

This only confused Hisako further: "What ability? What's going on?"

What the heck? How come after just one night, I already feel like I can't keep up with your conversations?

"Oh, it's like this—" Erina quietly recounted last night's conversation between her and Hayashi to Hisako. However, she didn't expect Hisako's attention to be completely elsewhere...

"What?" Hisako gasped in shock. "Erina, you actually went to see the young master behind my back!?"

"???"

What do you mean 'behind your back'!? I was seeing my boyfriend—it's not like I was sneaking around with some other guy behind his back, okay!?

Erina retorted in annoyance, "Do I need to inform you every time I want to see Hayashi?"

Hisako sighed regretfully. "I just feel like I missed out on some important plot development."

'Important plot? Could that mean...'

At this thought, Erina's face flushed red, and she subconsciously touched her lips—God's Tongue had once again tasted something different. How utterly embarrassing.

"!!!"

Seeing Erina's unusual expression, Hisako immediately paled in shock. "Could it be that I really missed some important plot?"

"N-No! There's nothing like that!" Could Erina admit such a thing? Absolutely not. She stubbornly insisted, "We were just casually discussing the plot of Konosuba!"

"Really?" Hisako still looked skeptical.

"Of course it's true! Have I ever lied to you?" Infected by Hayashi's influence, Erina lied without batting an eye. "More importantly, if you were to go to the world of Konosuba, what ability would you want to have?"

"Hmm—" Hisako immediately made the exact same conflicted expression as Hayashi. Hugging her knees, she sat on the floor and muttered in distress, "A special ability?"

Hayashi, noticing the commotion, chimed in casually, "Well, it definitely can't be something too broken. Otherwise, the rules of that world wouldn't allow it."

It was obvious—if someone wished for something like "Ultra Instinct" or "Super Saiyan 5," the gods of that world wouldn't even bother acknowledging it. If such wishes were possible, why even bother fighting the Demon King? Just mass-produce Saiyans instead.

After some thought, Hisako asked, "Hmm, a divine weapon?"

Hayashi shook his head. "Any weapon useful now would become obsolete once you grow stronger. And if we gave you a top-tier weapon, you wouldn't be able to wield it yet."

Erina tapped her chin. "Then how about a powerful innate talent? Like learning anything extremely fast—"

Hisako's eyes lit up. "That's great! If I became a genius, wouldn't I be able to grow stronger quickly?"

Hayashi also looked thoughtful. "That actually sounds doable."

Hayashi himself was just an ordinary guy—after playing League of Legends for seven or eight years, he was still stuck at Platinum rank. After 600 hours in PUBG, his gunplay was still trash. In single-player games, unless he sought the help of the "Fengling Yueying Sect Elders" (cheat mods), he'd often get wrecked by monsters…

If he could really gain an ability like "becoming a genius," wouldn't that make his future path much smoother?

But…

"However…"

Hayashi suddenly hesitated, making Hisako and Erina tilt their heads in confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"I was just thinking…" Hayashi scratched his head. "How exactly does turning an ordinary person into a genius work? Are there things like 'innate talent' or 'comprehension' involved?"

From what Hayashi remembered, the only thing that could turn an ordinary person into a genius was the "Dark Spore" from Digimon Adventure 02. But surely no one would actually consider using that thing, right?

"Ah, well—" The two exchanged glances. Hisako scratched her head in frustration. "I'm not really sure about that… But since there are gods and stuff over there, they should be able to make it happen, right?"

"Hisako, hearing your words has only made me more uneasy—" Erina tugged at the corner of her lips, pressing a hand to her forehead as she said, "The Water Goddess Aqua has completely shattered every last bit of my reverence for deities."

"..."

Hisako also fell silent, slumping weakly against the sofa behind her as she murmured, "If gods truly could create geniuses, then why does someone like Aqua exist?"

Taking a step back, even if Aqua wasn't a genius, she should at least be at a normal level—not the "God Damn Aqua" tier, right?

"So becoming a genius or something like that is definitely out of the question," Hayashi shook his head, crossing his arms and leaning back against Arcanine. He, Erina, and Hisako began pondering what kind of ability they should try to swindle from Aqua that would be most useful in the future.

Aqua: Could you guys stop saying "swindle" all the time? Doesn't that just make me look stupid?

...

...

The next morning, Hayashi sent the five groups—Gin Dōjima and Saiba Jōichirō; Kōjirō Shinomiya and Hinako Inui; Tsukasa Eishi and Kobayashi Rindō; Sōma Yukihira, Takumi Aldini, and Isami Aldini; Tadokoro Megumi, Yūki Yoshino, and Ryōko Sakaki—to Professor Oak's research lab, taking the opportunity to bring Dragonair to visit her parents.

Afterward, he took Erina and Hisako to see Ho-Oh, who was listlessly pecking at berries with its beak to satisfy its cravings. Hayashi then prepared a feast for it—spicy chicken feet, white-cut chicken, diced chicken with chili, cola chicken wings, and potato stewed with chicken—only to receive Ho-Oh's "grateful" response: being chased and pecked on the head for ten minutes straight.

Next, he swung by Saffron City to check in on Sabrina, who had resumed her duties as a Gym Leader. After bombarding her with a series of bad jokes and dark humor that left her laughing uncontrollably and completely drained of fighting spirit, Hayashi left the Pokémon world thoroughly satisfied.

"You're truly awful!" Erina couldn't help but say. "Sabrina was laughing so hard she drooled!"

According to Sabrina, she planned to head to Pokéstar Studios at the end of the year to become an actress—if Hayashi had captured footage of her laughing with drool dripping down her chin, it would've made for a perfect "actress in distress" scene.

What a shame. Such a shame.

"Don't worry, she was suffering but happy," Hayashi grinned shamelessly, grabbing Erina's hand as he said, "Alright! Time to head to the Konosuba world—you remember the ability we decided on, right?"

Erina and Hisako exchanged glances before answering in unison, "Of course!"

After all, it was the ability they had spent half the night discussing—one with limitless potential!

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