I'm afraid of scaring her, if she gets frightened and runs away, I would be sad.
The next maid probably won't be like her, bringing flowers to decorate my study, nor did the previous maids.
[March 13]
This morning, I deliberately stayed in the study to wait for Huilan to come and clean. As soon as she saw me, she let out a scream, dropping the freshly picked flowers all over the floor.
Huilan did not flee in fright. She stared at me for a moment and surprisingly said I am good-looking. It's the first time in my life anyone has said I'm good-looking.
They only ever call me a freak. Even my own parents look at me with worried faces, full of disgust.
Today I spoke with Huilan a lot, more than I do in a whole year, and I was very happy.
[March 14]
Today I eagerly waited for Huilan in the study. Once she arrived, I asked her to take me to dig bamboo shoots. Seeing her look so anxious, I felt both sad and amused.
