I was an orphan, although I was lucky enough to be adopted by a corrupt government official. I knew she was corrupt and she cursed a lot, but she used all that money on me, so in a way, she was my mother. And I was grateful to her for not letting me experience poverty.
Until she died. It was an assassination because of all the money she had stolen. I saw it all unfold, angry people surrounding her, her lifeless body lying flat on the cold floor of her manor, blood spreading around her. I was spared by the assailants since I was only eight at the time.
But that day never left me, and ever since then, I haven't wanted to remember her name.
Fast forward to the present. I'm now in high school. My name is Rin, a new name, not my old one, so no one recognizes me or my background. I unfortunately didn't inherit any of the money my mother once had; all her assets were seized, including the ones she intended to save for me.
I had a more antisocial life, for lack of a better term, as the people who assassinated my mother were the same age as I am now, wearing uniforms just like mine.
I joined a group of friends, but that turned out to be one of the biggest mistakes of my life. These people weren't exactly the best influence—smoking, alcohol, and illicit substances, all of it came my way.
But I still held on to the morals instilled by my supposedly corrupted mother. Funny how that works. I kept up the act, pretending to do what they did, but in reality, I was doing far less.
However, the people I surrounded myself with only ended up affecting my reputation.
Now, everyone thinks I'm a delinquent.
But who am I to even think of morals?
I remember my mother telling me about her wrongdoings, warning me never to copy her or even resemble her. I was young at the time, but now I understand.
I had a plan to go my separate way and finally leave my past behind once I graduated.
Then I made a bigger mistake.
I fell in love.
At the time, I'll admit, my hormones were acting up. I was always more susceptible to kind and responsible girls. It didn't even have to be about looks; just having someone acknowledge my existence was enough to make me feel something.
My time with her was everything. However, we weren't lucky; fate wasn't that forgiving to our circumstances. Apparently, one of the people in my friend group also had a thing for her.
This man, let's call him V, was the one leading that friendship. At one point, he was like a brother to me. We even made a promise that when we grow old, we'd play guitar and get drunk together.
But why was he trying to ruin my relationship instead of respecting it? I tried talking to him, but people like that will do anything in their power to get what they want.
It was useless. It didn't help that I owed him money. He was nice at first, before I ever got into a relationship, but now he was being an asshat about it.
If only V had said sorry, I would have forgiven him. But every time he did something, it only intensified the hatred I was harboring toward him. Every day, whenever he got the chance, he would shout false rumors about me, about how I was going out with another woman.
But V only grew more irritated when my partner didn't believe any of his lies.
Her loyalty disgusted him.
I tried to man up. I did my best not to let it affect me mentally and to focus only on what mattered: my significant other. But day by day, it only got worse. V did everything he could to bring about my downfall.
Sooner or later, he found out who I really was, the adopted son of a corrupt government official who had ruined the lives of many.
Once that information spread, my partner's parents no longer allowed our relationship.
Most people I had even the slightest connection with cut ties with me.
Bunch of fake people.
And yet, there was a small, shining hope in me, because my significant other, despite all odds, still fought for the fragile relationship between us.
But it was futile. People know my name now. I hadn't realized the extent of my mother's sins or how many people had been affected by her decisions.
Day by day, people used me as someone to blame. After all, my mother had flaunted me in the media when I was younger. People can be heartless at times, but then again, they say the same about my mother.
At one point, I was beaten up by people I once considered friends. They had found out that my relationship was still going on. V was the first to swing. He planted his fist into my abdomen and then my face.
I wished I had some sort of fantasy ability—something that would let me summon reinforcements when needed.
TO JUMP THE LIVING HELL OUT OF V OF COURSE!
But that was just me being delusional.
I even fantasized about winning every time against V... in the shower.
However, I didn't know where else to go. I was an orphan. My mother's relatives refused to take me in, and the school officials did nothing.
They hated my mother, too.
Then I found out that the girl I loved was being affected because of who I was. She, too, became the target of bullying, and even her own parents were starting to feel disappointed in her for staying with me.
But she was the only one who truly understood me, and I wasn't willing to drag her down with me.
I had to make a choice. Eventually, I stopped going to school.
I was a coward; I couldn't even say it to her face. I broke up with her over the phone because I didn't have the courage to look her in the eyes and say it myself.
Her words came through text. It was long, too long, but I didn't want to read it.
I just wanted to let go, to let the world forget about me, as my existence was so insignificant it wouldn't even tilt the world's axis.
Eventually, they'd get tired of blaming me and move on to blaming the next politician in power.
And, in time, that's exactly what happened.
Even after I moved past my old life, it never really left me. I kept telling myself that I'd moved on, but why, even now in my twenties, working at a convenience store, do I still feel so weighed down?
So heavy that I can no longer change, neither physically nor mentally.
I tried to start another relationship, but every time, I remembered her again. It felt undeserved and unfair.
At this point, I just want to be left alone, a bum in this small apartment complex, fading quietly from everyone's memory.
I didn't want to remember anything about my past. I didn't wish to know what they were doing now as college graduates. I will convince myself that I'll just be... Happy for them, I guess.
I don't need to know. I don't need to see it.
I have no idea where I went wrong. At this age, I had a bad habit of wasting time in ways I knew weren't doing me any favors.
You know what I'm talking about…
Though, I am making an effort to stop it…
…Nah, I'm lying, I ain't doing shit.
I found an odd enjoyment in chatting with people online. As messed up as it sounds, I'd rather not tell them who I am or how old I am.
I have a rule: never meet any of them.
They're fun to talk to, and I'm satisfied just making them laugh with my self-deprecating jokes over the screen.
I'm stuck in my routine, playing video games with them, always refusing to talk on the mic.
Still, technology keeps advancing, and the new high-end consoles are starting to cost a fortune.
Because time flies so fast, after just a few steps… I'm nearing my thirties, mid-life crisis.
One time, I suddenly had the urge to watch the news. They were talking nonsense about a virus that turns the dead into... zombies?
What a load of crap; those things only exist in fiction! This was happening in the USA, where they have more guns than their entire population.
They'll be fine.
However, they did look really convincing in that one piece of footage. The acting was too good; there must be some new A-list actors, because the ones I grew up with are all dead by now.
At least some of the artists I used to listen to still have songs that remain timeless.
Speaking of time... I recently looked at the calendar hanging in my trash-filled apartment, and I couldn't believe it was already 2030.
I know I should be in my thirties, or twenty-nine, maybe, but I can't even be bothered to know my exact age anymore.
I haven't celebrated my birthday with anyone in over a decade.
But interestingly enough, anime, entertainment, and even artificial intelligence were reaching their peak.
We were living in the age of advanced VR headsets.
Everyone was playing the VRMMO RPG Valhalla Online.
I swear I've seen that name a thousand times already.
Chapter End.