I was floating within a void, an out-of-body experience, I didn't dare open my eyes to look at my recently devoured body; I wasn't used to that kind of violence.
I have zero expectations for what the afterlife might be. I do have a vague idea of it from the beliefs of others, but I never bothered to care or learn.
After all, we will all die one day, and the answer will come to us no matter what happens.
However, I did feel peace. All the 'tribulations' from my childhood, high school, and my failures as an adult had finally come to an end.
That one show was right, we are all equal in death.
I somehow found closure in that.
But don't get me wrong, I'm not proud of the ending I've achieved. Perhaps I could at least meet my mother again? My friends?
Yet… what was that voice I just heard? And not only that, I also felt an arm placed around my shoulders.
Oi oi! I'm not into that kind of physical contact!
Then it spoke...
"Life wasn't kind to you, was it?"
I opened my eyes, everything was white.
The floor was a mist, and beside me was another guy. Though I should be pushing—
"Pushing me? That's very unkind of you," he laughed.
"You can't do that, it's not possible…"
What do you mean, not possible?
I tried to think of pushing him away, but… I couldn't understand why I couldn't do it. I could feel my arms; they were perfectly functional, but every time I thought of doing it, it's—
"Impossible, isn't it?" he replied. I felt a chill run down my spine.
…Who are you?
"I have many names, throughout many different narratives, but through all literature I'm known as the Somber Man…"
…No offense, that's a dumb name.
But I guess you're a dude, judging by the gender prefix you used and the silhouette I'm seeing.
I couldn't even see his face, but it's clear that he was quite tall and wearing a black trench coat.
He laughed again. "Well, I am, originally, a guy."
I see.
What now? Respectfully, can you remove your arms from my shoulders?
Without saying anything, he listened, then spoke, "I apologize if I made you uncomfortable."
No, it's fine... I'm dead anyway...
"Dead... you say?" he murmured.
Yeah... so what now? Where am I, anyway? This can't be the afterlife... It's so... empty...
He laughed again.
How many times are you gonna laugh?!
"Forgive me, my life has been all too melancholic that every chance at humor, I take it..."
Oh... that's quite depressing...
"Enough of me..."
"Try turning around..."
It was hard to explain…
It wasn't that I didn't want to turn around; it was that I couldn't not do it.
Something was pulling me, forcing the motion, something far beyond my understanding.
And when I finally did…
What the fuck am I looking at?
"We are not in the afterlife," the Somber Man said.
"This is the Arsenal Realm."
"And that, beyond the horizon, is… Siege Fiend, the Arsenal One."
I took a good look at this fearsome being. It was colossal, maybe the size of Mount Everest, though don't quote me on that; I'm terrible with measurements.
It looked like a warrior who'd been imprisoned for eons, bound in dark, metallic armor that seemed more ceremonial than practical.
The metal was sharp and angular, painted in a deep, blood-red hue.
But its face, if you could call it that, was the most interesting part. Thick and bony, crowned with antlers like a twisted wendigo's skull.
Standing before it, I felt like I was staring straight into a horror my mind wasn't made to understand.
"Don't be afraid," said the Somber Man.
I was, in fact, afraid—so much so that I thought I was having a nightmare.
"This isn't a nightmare either…"
Can you not read my mind?!
"Oh, but that's unavoidable."
Unavoidable, you say? Alright then, suffer the consequences.
My facial muscles tensed—I started thinking of diabolical things, things that you only search on the internet while in incognito mode, hoping that this guy would stop prying into my mind.
… "You have mediocre taste in that sort of media."
… "Quite vanilla, aren't you?"
HUH?!!! Now I'm embarrassed!
… "Secretary, blonde, and brunette—oh, some weird ones I don't dare say."
… "You can be pretty freaky, huh?"
NO NO NO NO NO!
STOP STOP STOP STOP!
"Disappointing…" Somber Man said in a judgmental tone.
I sat down, my butt firmly planted on the white, misty floor, defeated and in utter shock, though my eyes still stared at the colossal Wendigo.
I took a deep breath. This whole experience… is this what it feels like to be high? I've never done that sort of thing, but I guess it's no use wasting any more time.
"Hey, Somber Man, that Siege Fiend, how did he end up like that anyway?" I asked.
The Somber Man stood beside me. I still tried to look at his face, but I couldn't see it—it was covered by thick mist, though I could tell he was looking at the Siege Fiend solemnly.
"That's a long story…"
"You might learn a thing or two about that creature's philosophy and way of life."
"What do you mean?" I needed some context on what he was saying.
"It's rather simple to understand."
"The belief to march endlessly, even against impossibility itself—the Red Siege…"
Huh…
That's interesting…
But…
"Isn't that kind of ridiculous? Why do it if you know it's impossible? Only fools do that." At this point, I was lost in my own thoughts and only replied with whatever first came to mind.
I did find Siege Fiend's philosophy stupid.
Yet, Somber Man didn't respond immediately. However, it took great consideration with its next words.
"Rin, was it?"
"Did you spend your time wisely when you were alive?"
No...
I didn't...
Somber sighed, then walked beside me.
"Many are unsatisfied with their lives." he said.
"Some have fantasies of turning back time with their memories intact…"
That's a very interesting delusion…
The Somber Man smiled slightly; I heard a chuckle coming from him.
"Such an abusable advantage… You would do terribly at such a thing, right… Rin?"
Huh?
What really ticked me off was the way he looked at me after saying those words. I could feel it radiating from him, that condescending and judgmental stare!
"What are you even trying to say to me? If I could go back in time and fix my mistakes, I would! Every day I wish for that kind of thing!"
"I am not that low to abuse it! I just want a good life! Where I'm... satisfied..."
"With my mother..."
My response had become too emotional. I wanted to say more, but I don't think my ego would be willing to be bruised much further.
I was already cringing at myself.
The Somber Man didn't answer right away. His voice, when it finally came, was gentle and almost thoughtful.
"Don't take it the wrong way…"
"I want you to understand that most people rarely truly wish to atone; they want to be absolved."
What are you trying to say?
"It's not that hard to understand, really."
"A lot of us say we want redemption, but how long would that conviction last when someone was given the means to alter fate itself?"
He looked at me, and I felt his gaze through the mist.
Why are you telling me this...?
"You haven't acknowledged it yet. Perhaps your morals remain intact. But, Rin, you fail to realize that you would use that second chance to reshape the world in the image of your suffering."
"That, within itself, is unfair to the world."
I see...
...He saw right through me...
Because all this time...
I've been wanting to reincarnate with all my memories intact...
I did have numerous ill intentions, but I tried not to entertain them...
Yeah... tried...
I never promised not to act upon them...
Chapter End...