Xue Liulan packed their belongings and guided Murong Jin back onto the main road.
"It's a day's walk to the nearest town," he said, keeping his pace slow.
She walked beside him, silent. Her blindness had stolen her confidence, but he knew her silence was more than just fear.
"Why did you choose this path?" he asked, looking down at her.
No answer. He squeezed her arm.
She started. "What?"
He sighed. "Why make it so hard on yourself?"
"I was afraid you'd catch me. I knew you wouldn't let me go back to Wuchuan. But I had to go. My father is there. My family is there." Her head bowed. "I couldn't sit safe in Jindu while they faced death."
Safe? Jindu was a viper's nest. But he held his tongue. She knew that. Yet she still threw herself into the fire.
"Did you have to choose this path?" He stopped, turning her to face him.
"I told you." She looked away, her eyes vacant. The poison was eating at her nerves. The pain was excruciating.
He touched her eyelid gently. "Does it hurt?"
"Hm?" She instinctively wanted to nod, but shook her head. "No. It just makes me blind."
"Is that so?" He snorted. His fingertip came away wet with blood.
She sensed it. She wiped her cheek, the metallic tang of blood and the sweet scent of poison filling her nose. She frowned and turned away.
He froze, fighting the urge to grab her.
"Why didn't you say it hurt?" He suppressed the grief and anger in his voice.
"I don't feel it." She scrubbed at her face with her sleeve, her voice trembling.
His hand clenched at his side. Suddenly, he grabbed her wrist and dragged her forward.
"What are you doing? Let go!" She struggled, pulling back.
Even loving him to the bone, she couldn't let go of her innate defensiveness.
The more she struggled, the tighter he held, the faster he walked. The wound on his back tore open, pain searing through him, but he refused to stop. He wouldn't let her suffer alone anymore.
"Ah!" She stumbled into him as he stopped abruptly.
"Ahead is a cliff," he said coldly. "Don't move. One step, and you're dead."
She froze.
"Why bring me to a cliff?"
"I didn't bring you. This is where the road ends." He stared at her. "Murong Jin, this is the path you chose."
"Even if it ends in death, I will walk it. I don't ask you to come with me, or to die with me." Her voice turned icy. She lowered her head, as if gauging the drop.
"Then what is it for?" Blood rushed to his head. He grabbed her arms. "You talk of riding free to save me from danger, of protecting me and Qi'er. But what are you really doing? Choosing a road that leads to a cliff? Choosing not to spare yourself?"
"I'm scared!" She crouched down, wrapping her arms around herself. The dam broke. "I don't want you to be hurt. Not Father, not the Vermilion Bird Camp, not you or Qi'er. I don't want to lose anyone else."
"But in the end, you all suffer because of me. Xing died. Liu died. You worry yourself sick for me. My father is bound by me. When did I become such a burden?"
Her voice dissolved into sobs.
He stood over her, stunned. Then he crouched beside her.
"Stop crying. Come here." He pulled her up and into his arms. "Who said you were a burden? Why do you always decide these things on your own?"
She buried her face in his chest, pushing weakly against him.
"If even you are a burden to your father, and to me, then what about Qi'er? A defenseless child—should we just throw him away?"
"You dare!" She sniffled, still defiant.
"Of course I don't." He laughed helplessly. "Our hearts are like yours. We just don't want our loved ones to be hurt. But Murong Jin, don't you know? The one who hurts you the most is yourself."
He wiped the bloody tears from her face.
"You force yourself to endure. To bear it all alone. In the end, you hurt not only yourself, but us."
That was why he said this road led to a cliff. If she fell, she wouldn't fall alone.
"It's been this way for a long time," she whispered. "If I hadn't gone to war, who would have saved the Murong family?"
He was silent. Finally, he held her close. "You are with me now. You don't have to endure the pain anymore."
She clutched his lapel, silent. Could she trust him? Even loving him, could she let go?
"Put down your guard. Trust me. Just once." His voice was soft.
"I don't know." Her voice lacked confidence. "I've never tried to trust anyone completely."
"Start today." He smiled. His back felt wet. The wound had opened.
She nodded, wrapping her arms around his waist. She felt the warmth.
"Your wound?" She looked up, panicked. "I'm sorry. If I hadn't struggled…"
She fumbled for medicine, her blindness making her clumsy.
He caught her hand. "It's not serious. Let's rest."
He led her forward.
She hesitated. The cliff.
He didn't stop.
With him, even death didn't matter. Her heart cleared. She stepped forward, gripping his hand tight.
Solid ground. No fall. She stopped.
"Xue Liulan, you lied to me?" She gritted her teeth.
He turned, his grin unconcealed.
"Murong Jin, have you realized? You've trusted me all along. You just didn't notice."
"You're laughing!" She wanted to hit him. "Bullying a blind woman?"
"No." He hugged her, kissing her forehead. "I just wanted you to know that trusting me isn't as hard as you think."
She tried to pull away, but stopped, afraid of hurting him. "Wait until you're healed. I'll settle this score."
"It's a promise." He laughed, wincing as the wound pulled.
They switched to a carriage in the town and headed for Wuchuan. They stopped at a teahouse near the border.
"Boss, a pot of good tea." Xue Liulan scanned the room. Farmers, merchants returning from the border.
"Here." The waiter set down the tea.
"Hey, waiter! Where's our food? We need to move," a merchant shouted, banging the table.
"Why the rush?" Xue Liulan asked loudly. "It's a fine day."
"Don't you know?"
"Know what?" Xue Liulan feigned surprise.
"The border isn't safe. Murong Yan suffered a huge defeat. He's missing."
"They say the Turks found him. And Zuo Xunxiao."
"Wuchuan is in chaos. No one is in charge."
Murong Jin's hand clenched around her cup, the tea sloshing over her fingers. She didn't feel it.
"Oh my, is your wife alright?"
Xue Liulan turned, his eyes narrowing. He covered her hand with his, smiling apologetically. "She has an eye condition. She's timid. Crowds scare her."
He pulled her close, whispering, "Just rumors. We'll see when we get there."
"But the Vermilion Bird Camp…"
"Even if they are there, they can't lead the army." He cut her off, his voice firm.