The premiere night of the Teyvat Broadcasting Network continued, shifting from the epic history of gods to a collaborative production that had viewers glued to their screens: [The Adorable Mascot Dance].
On the screen, five small figures appeared in plush onesies. Qiqi was dressed as a fluffy white crane, Klee as a tiny, bouncy tiger, while Sayu, Diona, and Yaoyao filled out the rest of the cast. As the upbeat music started, the little ones began to hop and sway.
The audience collectively lost their minds.
It was undeniably childish, yet irresistibly cute. Qiqi's movements were slightly delayed, Klee kept nearly tripping over her tiger tail, and Diona looked like she wanted to be anywhere else—which only made her "cat-pose" more endearing.
"Too cute! My heart is melting!"
"Look at Klee! She's like a little ball of sunshine!"
"I never knew the Yuheng's assistant (Yaoyao) could dance like that!"
The segment was short, but it left a lasting smile on faces from Mondstadt to Narukami.
[The Way of the Blade]
The tone shifted immediately with the next program. Kaedehara Kazuha appeared on screen, standing on the rugged cliffs of an Inazuman island. The daytime sun glinted off his blade.
"Greetings. I am Kazuha," he spoke with his trademark calm. "Under the long-term guidance of Lord Su Han, I have refined my craft. Today, I will demonstrate the fundamentals of Haki for those who seek the path of the sword."
For thirty minutes, Kazuha provided a masterclass. He explained the concept of "Black Blades" and demonstrated Internal Destruction. He sliced through a massive boulder as if it were soft tofu, the footage slowed down by the production team to show the precise moment his Haki rippled through the stone.
In Mondstadt, the knights watched with rapt attention. This wasn't just entertainment; it was a high-level lecture delivered to every household with a TV. Kazuha concluded with an invitation: "If you wish to learn the Kaedehara style, my dojo in Inazuma is open to all."
[The Tour of Prosperity]
Following a thirty-second commercial for Diluc's new line of fruit-flavored beers—featuring a mechanized cameo of Diona mixing drinks—the screen returned to Barbara.
"Hello everyone! I'm Deaconess Barbara!" she beamed, leading a tour through Mondstadt. This wasn't just for locals; it was a travel vlog meant for Liyue and Inazuma.
The footage showcased the grand canal and the booming trade city of Falcon Port. Viewers in Inazuma, who had lived under the Sakoku Decree for so long, watched in awe at the sight of merchants from Fontaine and Sumeru laughing together in Mondstadt's open streets.
In the Knights' headquarters, Jean watched her sister's performance with a mix of pride and amusement. "She's a natural," Lisa remarked. "At this rate, her popularity might actually eclipse yours, Grand Master."
[The Golden Hour: Miss Hina]
At 9:00 PM, the "Variety Slot" began. A hush fell over the taverns as a stunning woman with soft, canine ears appeared on screen, surrounded by trinkets from Watatsumi Island.
"Um... hello. I am Hina," she spoke, looking slightly flustered but maintaining a gentle, maternal aura. "Please support our local products..."
The reaction in Liyue and Mondstadt was a chorus of wolf-whistles and cheers. In Inazuma, Arataki Itto was likely screaming at his TV. Jean watched with a perplexed expression, while Lisa chuckled.
"Why the face, Jean?"
"That... Miss Hina... she's actually a man," Jean whispered.
"Oh? Even better," Lisa winked. "But look at the ratings. Poor Kokomi is standing right there, and she's been completely sidelined by Gorou's alter-ego."
[The Grand Finale: The Divine Damsel]
As 10:00 PM approached, the main event began. Yun Jin appeared on screen, bowing to a silent audience.
The opera, The Divine Damsel of Devastation, had been cinematicized. The story followed a girl born under a cursed star, abandoned by fate, until she encountered a silver-haired savior—Su Han.
When Yun Jin began to sing, a hush fell over the world. Her voice was celestial, carrying the weight of a thousand years of Liyue's history. The story of a daughter's sacrifice and her redemption through love and companionship brought tears to eyes across the nations.
In Liyue Harbor, Chongyun's father sobbed openly. "She's found her happiness...阿鹤 (Little Crane)... you've truly found your home."
The phrase "To ask the world what love is, that it should command such devotion unto death" echoed through the night, destined to become the most quoted line in Teyvat.
[The Midnight Snack]
The night concluded with Xiangling'sTen-Minute Kitchen. She taught the world how to make a "Simple Spring Noodle," using affordable ingredients and clever techniques like using fried eggs to enrich a broth.
"Even at home, you can eat like a king!" she chirped.
By midnight, the broadcast ended with a rerun announcement. But the damage—or rather, the impact—was done. Restaurants with TVs reported a 1,000% increase in revenue. Patrons stayed for one more drink just to discuss the programs, laughing, learning, and feeling more connected than ever.
Su Han's media empire had successfully conquered the hearts of Teyvat in a single night.
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