When evening arrived at the charity cemetery, Gustave had expected Simu to arrive alone with his invitation. Instead, the sound of shuffling footsteps and the distinctive ting-ting-ting of copper bells announced the arrival of not just the corpse-driving Taoist, but his entire entourage of "clients."
"Qiu Sheng! Wen Cai!" Simu called out the moment he stepped through the gates, treating Lin Jiu's home as his own. "Hurry up and bring your uncle some food! I'm absolutely exhausted from escorting so many guests this time around!"
"Right away, Uncle!" both disciples chorused, scrambling toward the kitchen. Ever since their ill-fated prank involving Simu's previous clients had nearly resulted in a supernatural disaster, they'd learned to treat their uncle's visits with appropriate respect and caution.
Simu found a stool and collapsed onto it with theatrical exhaustion, fanning himself vigorously with his hat. "Ah, what a journey! The roads get more dangerous every month."
"Brother Simu!" Lin Jiu emerged from the main building with Gustave beside him, both drawn by the commotion.
"Senior Brother," Simu replied with a tired grin before his attention shifted to the French chef. "And Gustave! it's been over a year since we last met!"
"Hello," Gustave replied warmly. "Taoist Simu, seeing you again brings me great joy. How have your travels been treating you?"
"Ah, well," Simu said, suddenly looking slightly embarrassed, "I actually didn't know you'd be joining us, Brother Gustave. When I sent the invitation, I was only expecting Senior Brother and Taoist Tiantong."
"No matter," Gustave said with a dismissive wave. "Taoist Tiantong had urgent business with the military situation, so I'll represent his interests on this journey."
Simu chuckled at Gustave's diplomatic phrasing. "Ha! You always know just what to say, my friend."
"Uncle Master! Uncle Master!" Qiu Sheng appeared carrying a large ceramic bowl, steam rising from its contents. "We brought you the remaining cold noodles that Master Gustave prepared earlier. Let me tell you, his cooking skills are absolutely incredible!"
The recent heat wave had sapped everyone's appetite for heavy meals, prompting Gustave to demonstrate one of his favorite summer techniques. Using precise electromagnetic fields to control temperature at the molecular level, he'd created perfectly chilled noodles with a texture impossible to achieve through conventional cooling methods. The accompanying braised tofu and chicken legs had unfortunately been devoured entirely by the disciples.
"Cold noodles?" Simu accepted the bowl and chopsticks eagerly. "Perfect! Let me test this famous cooking skill of yours, Gustave."
He loaded his chopsticks with a generous portion and took his first bite. The reaction was immediate and dramatic.
"Ahhh!" Simu sighed with profound relief, his entire posture relaxing. "Refreshing! Absolutely refreshing!"
The combination of perfectly chilled noodles, aromatic sauce, and the subtle electromagnetic enhancement that had aligned every flavor molecule created an almost therapeutic effect on the heat-weary traveler. Simu's chopsticks moved faster and faster until the enormous bowl was nearly empty.
"Ai-ya!" Wen Cai wailed from the kitchen doorway. "Uncle Master finished everything! I was hoping to save some for a midnight snack tonight!"
"If you want food tonight, make it yourself," Qiu Sheng said unsympathetically, giving his fellow disciple a push.
"But my cooking can't compare to Master Gustave's," Wen Cai protested miserably. "And I heard Master say he's leaving with you tonight to visit Uncle Simu's dojo. Who knows when I'll taste such incredible food again?"
Qiu Sheng could only sigh in commiseration. Having experienced Gustave's electromagnetic culinary enhancements, they'd both developed rather demanding palates that made ordinary cooking seem disappointingly bland.
"My word," Simu said, setting down his empty bowl with evident embarrassment. "Brother Gustave, your skills are truly extraordinary. I don't usually eat with such... enthusiasm."
Everyone present burst into good-natured laughter at Simu's transparent attempt to maintain dignity after devouring the entire bowl.
"Junior Brother," Lin Jiu asked once the amusement died down, "when do we depart?"
"Have you finished packing, Senior Brother?"
"Both Gustave and I have our luggage ready. We're simply waiting for your signal."
"Excellent! Let me check..." Simu made a great show of rolling up his sleeves to reveal the timepiece strapped to his wrist. "This watch cost me a small fortune in Guangzhou—imported Western craftsmanship, they said. Keeps perfect time."
He'd acquired the expensive timepiece during a client escort to the southern port city, paying an outrageous sum for what the merchant assured him was the latest in foreign precision technology.
"How about we depart in twenty minutes?" Simu announced after making an elaborate display of consulting the watch face.
Internally, he was quite pleased with himself. That country bumpkin senior brother will definitely ask what I'm wearing and what "twenty minutes" means. Living out here in rural Renjia Town, he's probably never seen such modern marvels!
"It's currently eight-ten in the evening," Lin Jiu said matter-of-factly, rolling up his own sleeve to reveal an identical timepiece. "Twenty minutes would put our departure at eight-thirty exactly."
Lin Jiu's watch was actually superior to Simu's expensive import—one of several produced by the watch factory that General Cai E had established using German technical expertise. Zhang Zhiwei had distributed them among his closest allies, with Lin Jiu receiving one as recognition of his growing importance in their network.
Simu's attempt at showing off had backfired spectacularly, leaving him looking somewhat deflated.
Gustave couldn't help but smile at this petty sibling rivalry. No wonder Qiu Sheng and Wen Cai are always trying to one-up each other—they learned it from watching their master.
Abandoning his failed display of urban sophistication, Simu settled into telling them about his recent expedition to western Hunan. The ongoing warlord conflicts had claimed many lives far from home, and traditional Chinese beliefs demanded that the deceased be returned to their ancestral burial grounds regardless of the expense involved.
"The routes through Xiangxi are more dangerous than ever," Simu explained seriously. "That region isn't Maoshan territory—I'm essentially stealing food from tigers' mouths every time I operate there. One mistake, and I could easily join my own clients permanently."
The fees for such perilous work were correspondingly enormous—enough from a single expedition to support an ordinary family for decades. But the risks were equally substantial, especially when venturing into territory controlled by the rival Corpse-Driving Sect.
"Fortunately," Simu continued with renewed confidence, "I've been running these routes for years. I know every safe path and hidden danger. More importantly, my divine summoning techniques are advanced enough that even the Corpse-Driving Sect's leadership thinks twice about challenging me directly."
His mastery of ancestor invocation was indeed formidable—if he successfully called upon Maoshan's founder spirits, even the Corpse-Driving Sect's grandmaster would face a difficult battle.
"The western Hunan sect knows I'm powerful and not worth the trouble," Simu concluded pragmatically. "Besides, I can't transport massive numbers anyway, so they let me handle the occasional high-value client."
As eight-thirty approached, Gustave and Lin Jiu shouldered their travel bags and joined Simu outside the cemetery gates. The sight that greeted them was both eerie and oddly charming—a neat line of preserved corpses standing at perfect attention, each one draped in traditional burial robes and tagged with yellow paper talismans.
"Senior Brother, Gustave," Simu announced proudly, "we won't be troubled with walking tonight."
"Junior Brother," Lin Jiu asked with puzzlement, "how exactly do we reach your dojo without walking?"
This was precisely the reaction Simu had been hoping for.
"Behold!" He rummaged through the bamboo basket carried by the last corpse in line, producing three specially crafted small stools. With practiced efficiency, he attached them securely to three of his clients, creating an impromptu seating arrangement.
"Senior Brother, this is my latest innovation!" Simu declared with obvious pride. "I developed it after seeing a steam locomotive during my Guangzhou trip. I sit in front to control direction and ring the bell—the clients move themselves, and we get a comfortable ride! I call it my 'Corpse Express!'"
Lin Jiu shook his head in a mixture of admiration and exasperation. "You impossible man! Our master's sacred corpse-driving techniques, and you've turned them into... transportation."
Gustave, however, was genuinely intrigued. While he'd experienced everything from steam trains to high-speed rail in various worlds, this supernatural adaptation was entirely novel. The engineering was crude but clever—and Simu's obvious pride in his innovation was infectious.
With a light hop, Gustave settled onto one of the stools. The ride was surprisingly stable and comfortable.
"Genius!" he called out approvingly. "Taoist Simu, you truly are a man of remarkable creativity!"
Simu beamed with pleasure at the compliment, wh
ile Lin Jiu grudgingly took his own seat with a resigned sigh.
"All aboard the Corpse Express!" Simu announced cheerfully, taking his position at the front of their unusual convoy. The distinctive ting-ting-ting of his copper bells filled the night air as their supernatural locomotive began its journey into the darkness.